life goals - life struggles - life questions

[someplace_else]

Hey there,

I wanted to start a thread about goals in life, which way to go, what keeps us from going the path we want to and maybe struggles on the way (can also be funny ones, of course ).

The connection to Michael is, that he always kept going, even when times were extremely hard and I admire him very much for that and often think about this when I have doubts.

I am writing this, bcs at the Moment I am thinking a lot about my job that costs me a lot of nerves. I feel like people cannot communicate anymore and I am sooo close to just quit my job, buy a house in Norway and be gone forever . Well, that would be the ultimate plan, if there weren't these 1000 things to consider.

What about you guys? Do your like your job? Do you have goals/dreams you don't follow because you are afraid to? Have you already done things that everyone warned you about? How did it go?

Would be happy if we share some experiences here...and I hope I am not in a midlife-crisis, too early

 

[jasmine.uddin]

Hi,
Sorry to hear about your situation. I don't have any goals I pursued, but I did find myself in a similar situation. I had a wonderful 7 years at my workplace, and then in the 8th year there was a change in management and things went so sour so quick that I handed in my resignation.
I don't regret doing this but I was so sad about it at the time, as I had 7 great years there. I have since found that all workplaces have there fair share of unbearableness, and I feel I can navigate that better now than I did before.
As the saying goes, when you can't change your situation, it's time to change your perspective.
Also, sometimes better the devil you know than the devil you don't.
I don't know how MJ did it, I would guess his faith in God was a strong factor
Hope things get better for you.

 

[someplace_else]

Hi,
Sorry to hear about your situation. I don't have any goals I pursued, but I did find myself in a similar situation. I had a wonderful 7 years at my workplace, and then in the 8th year there was a change in management and things went so sour so quick that I handed in my resignation.
I don't regret doing this but I was so sad about it at the time, as I had 7 great years there. I have since found that all workplaces have there fair share of unbearableness, and I feel I can navigate that better now than I did before.
As the saying goes, when you can't change your situation, it's time to change your perspective.
Also, sometimes better the devil you know than the devil you don't.
I don't know how MJ did it, I would guess his faith in God was a strong factor
Hope things get better for you.

Thanks for your answer, the job is okay I just have to deal with several dumb people and I feel like I should reach for more in life (but already got a plan ).

Sad to hear that your workplace changed so much and you had to find a different one...

Mainly I wanted to start this thread to hear from others, if they have any special goals and maybe we could discuss these things and support each other. I am also interested in what dreams/interests people have ot if they are fine with a "normal" 9 to 5 .

 

[someplace_else]

Dusting off this thread, maybe some people want to share experiences now .

Atm I am thinking about changing to a completely different field of work . Has someone here done this before? If yes, would you do it again?

I am still torn between staying where I am, have a safe income but being annoyed or changing everything completely .

 

[jasmine.uddin]

So heres my update. I worked in a role within education for a long time, I was very comfortable in that role. At times the familiarity of it became tedious, but overall I was very happy and competent in that role, and never thought I would leave it.

But life happens, I felt disillusioned by my old role in education so I ended up changing to a very different role, although it was still within the field of education. It required a totally different skill set to the one I had mastered previously. I felt very much like a fish out of water. I didn't have high hopes for it, but thought I would just give it a go. I ended up loving it, I gained more valuable experiences in a shorter time span within the new role than I ever did in the many years in my previous role. I do not regret the decision to leave, as I grew more in ways I wouldn't have ever conceived of had I not left.

However, life is happening again and I am thinking of going back to my old role now as it offers more opportunities for money and progression. As much as I love my current role, it's limited. And I am not at a stage in my life where job satisfaction can outweigh more practical considerations.

I think you would have to think about your reasons for changing careers, and weigh out the costs and benefits. Having partners or children tends to have a huge impact on such decisions too. Would be interesting to know what you are deciding between.

 

[someplace_else]

Thank you for sharing your experiences .

That's also kind of the struggle I am in now...my current job is safe, I am in that company for five years now (social media/media design/video/have to be able to do everything ), mainly home office, part-time, quite flexible working hours, BUT no more chances to improve, a lot of boring tasks, I am sitting at my desk like 98% of the time, can't realise my ideas, etc.

Some years ago I did more filming and photography there, so it was way more interesting. I want to be creative, be part of great projects, see what I have accomplished by the end of the day/week/month...

Atm I am thinking about becoming a horse trainer haha, so a 180 degree change. I already worked as an assistant in that field many years ago - or at least similar: therapy for people with the help of horses.

My thoughts are: just try and if it goes wrong, I can still go back to my old job. But there are sooooo many things to consider. Also that my brain often has many funny ideas and I don't know if I should play along or just wait for some weeks 'til the idea fades . But I never wanted to be the person who gets up in the morning, thinking "ugh, work...". At least not nearly every day.

When you chose to change your job, were you afraid of totally failing? Also considering money - all the responsibilities you have as an adult...?

 

[bluemoon7]

Dusting off this thread, maybe some people want to share experiences now .

Atm I am thinking about changing to a completely different field of work . Has someone here done this before? If yes, would you do it again?

I am still torn between staying where I am, have a safe income but being annoyed or changing everything completely .

Welllll, I haven´t been working a regular 9 to 5 job for some time due to my health issues. I am a lot better these days, and starting to branch out. As a Gen Xer, I am not young anymore, but I don´t feel too old to start something new. My situation right now:

I am volunteering in animal welfare and a social project (German Red Cross)

Just recently, some weeks ago, I started to work a PAID (yes! lol) office job for a couple of hours per week. It´s harder than I thought (I´m a little rusty ... in Michael´s words )

But the one thing that I really want to pursuit (much further ) is writing (and potentially getting published). I write poetry, short texts, and furthermore have been creating "artsy" postcards with my own photos and texts for a year now (already sold some, yay).

What I wish for is a bit more confidence in my work and also in approaching publishers / shops that would potentially publish / buy some of my work.

 

[bluemoon7]

Thank you for sharing your experiences .

That's also kind of the struggle I am in now...my current job is safe, I am in that company for five years now (social media/media design/video/

Ohh, I come from a somewhat similar background: Worked for different companies in public relations and also wrote lots of web content for a company/website that provides information and organizes work & travel, stays abroad, ...

 

[jasmine.uddin]

Thank you for sharing your experiences .

That's also kind of the struggle I am in now...my current job is safe, I am in that company for five years now (social media/media design/video/have to be able to do everything ), mainly home office, part-time, quite flexible working hours, BUT no more chances to improve, a lot of boring tasks, I am sitting at my desk like 98% of the time, can't realise my ideas, etc.

Some years ago I did more filming and photography there, so it was way more interesting. I want to be creative, be part of great projects, see what I have accomplished by the end of the day/week/month...

Atm I am thinking about becoming a horse trainer haha, so a 180 degree change. I already worked as an assistant in that field many years ago - or at least similar: therapy for people with the help of horses.

My thoughts are: just try and if it goes wrong, I can still go back to my old job. But there are sooooo many things to consider. Also that my brain often has many funny ideas and I don't know if I should play along or just wait for some weeks 'til the idea fades . But I never wanted to be the person who gets up in the morning, thinking "ugh, work...". At least not nearly every day.

When you chose to change your job, were you afraid of totally failing? Also considering money - all the responsibilities you have as an adult...?

Does your current job involve repetitive tasks with no room for creativity? From what you describe, your current job does sound very comfy. All that flexibility is a huge benefit, and you would have to decide whether it's worth giving up, and whether you would be fine without all the added flexibility you have become accustomed to in 5 years.

I think it's really good that you have identified the need to be creative. I think as we grow older, we are able to distinguish where our genuine areas of strength line up with our interests. Unfortunately, we may also realise we have been spending years at a job that doesn't engage these.

I think it would be useful for you to identify what aspect of horse training appeals to you, is it primarily working with horses/working outside/ training others? It certainly doesn't come across as a job that provides creative outlet. Once you have thought more about the actual skill set that appeals to you, it might be easier to narrow down all the options of jobs that you find yourself entertaining.

Being young/single also typically offers an individual more flexibility to take a more trial and error approach. If you have others to factor in your decision making, then I think this does tend to reduce the margins for trial and error. I would always recommend anyone young/single to take the trial and error approach, even if you end up strongly disliking a new job, the experience will help you figure out your dislike/likes and your own strengths/weaknesses and point you to a more suited direction. If you have a family/other responsibilities to consider then stability and security are really hard to give up and often not worth sacrificing.

When I decided to change to a completely different role, it was my last ditch attempt at staying within the education sector. Even though my new role was within the same industry, I fully expected to fail as it was a vastly different role, and I wasn't convinced that I could easily adopt the new skill set. But there is also something deeply gratifying about meeting challenges I doubted I could, and often it wasn't smooth sailing.

I did have to take abit of a pay cut, and that led to making some adjustments to my regular expenses. But all jobs incur a loss of some sort on our part (stress/overtime/work-life balance etc), it's best we are aware of the these losses and choose a job whose losses we are more happy to incur.

Sadly, I think most of us get to the stage of feeling 'ugh...work!' most mornings. ( In fact , I think we even reach the stage of feeling 'ugh ...life!', but I think that's more commonly referred to as a midlife crisis.) I think the more important thing is that you don't still feel like that by the end of the work day, because irrespective of whether we find pleasure in our job, we should at least feel a sense of contribution by the end of the day.

 

[someplace_else]

Welllll, I haven´t been working a regular 9 to 5 job for some time due to my health issues. I am a lot better these days, and starting to branch out. As a Gen Xer, I am not young anymore, but I don´t feel too old to start something new. My situation right now:

I am volunteering in animal welfare and a social project (German Red Cross)

Just recently, some weeks ago, I started to work a PAID (yes! lol) office job for a couple of hours per week. It´s harder than I thought (I´m a little rusty ... in Michael´s words )

But the one thing that I really want to pursuit (much further ) is writing (and potentially getting published). I write poetry, short texts, and furthermore have been creating "artsy" postcards with my own photos and texts for a year now (already sold some, yay).

What I wish for is a bit more confidence in my work and also in approaching publishers / shops that would potentially publish / buy some of my work.

Thank you for sharing and great that you are doing better . I also like that you wrote you don't feel too old to start something new. What does "too old" mean? When you have certain interests and fun doing it, just do it. You can also work for some hours when you're 70/80/90, as long as you enjoy it and are fit enough.

My dad always said he doesn't like is job and wanted to do sth else. He was in his forties when he said that but never changed anything because he felt too old, always had the same job, since his apprenticeship... that's kinda my negative example and I never wanted to be that way .

Hope you find the confidence in your work. If you don't have it, who does? You can't lose anything, right?

Does your current job involve repetitive tasks with no room for creativity? From what you describe, your current job does sound very comfy. All that flexibility is a huge benefit, and you would have to decide whether it's worth giving up, and whether you would be fine without all the added flexibility you have become accustomed to in 5 years.

I think it's really good that you have identified the need to be creative. I think as we grow older, we are able to distinguish where our genuine areas of strength line up with our interests. Unfortunately, we may also realise we have been spending years at a job that doesn't engage these.

I think it would be useful for you to identify what aspect of horse training appeals to you, is it primarily working with horses/working outside/ training others? It certainly doesn't come across as a job that provides creative outlet. Once you have thought more about the actual skill set that appeals to you, it might be easier to narrow down all the options of jobs that you find yourself entertaining.

Being young/single also typically offers an individual more flexibility to take a more trial and error approach. If you have others to factor in your decision making, then I think this does tend to reduce the margins for trial and error. I would always recommend anyone young/single to take the trial and error approach, even if you end up strongly disliking a new job, the experience will help you figure out your dislike/likes and your own strengths/weaknesses and point you to a more suited direction. If you have a family/other responsibilities to consider then stability and security are really hard to give up and often not worth sacrificing.

When I decided to change to a completely different role, it was my last ditch attempt at staying within the education sector. Even though my new role was within the same industry, I fully expected to fail as it was a vastly different role, and I wasn't convinced that I could easily adopt the new skill set. But there is also something deeply gratifying about meeting challenges I doubted I could, and often it wasn't smooth sailing.

I did have to take abit of a pay cut, and that led to making some adjustments to my regular expenses. But all jobs incur a loss of some sort on our part (stress/overtime/work-life balance etc), it's best we are aware of the these losses and choose a job whose losses we are more happy to incur.

Sadly, I think most of us get to the stage of feeling 'ugh...work!' most mornings. ( In fact , I think we even reach the stage of feeling 'ugh ...life!', but I think that's more commonly referred to as a midlife crisis.) I think the more important thing is that you don't still feel like that by the end of the work day, because irrespective of whether we find pleasure in our job, we should at least feel a sense of contribution by the end of the day.

Thank you again for sharing.

Yeah, comfy and boring. And it drives me insane . I always have to do the easiest things for other people because apparently I am the only one able to change a word in a PDF, for example. Although I am quite good at all the creative stuff but nearly never get to do it.

The flexibility is a point to consider but I always made the experience that people can adjust very well to new situations after some weeks. So that's not my biggest concern.

My problem is, all the things I am interested in are not very good to earn money. I want to enjoy my job but of course the salary is important, too.

I was always fascinated by horses, I ride for over 20 years now and it's a topic for me that never gets boring. I mainly decided to not become a horse trainer back then because often they use unfair methods to be fast and break the horse instead of creating a partnership and I never wanted that. Now I see a lot of positive examples and would like to work in a similar way. But I also know I would miss the creative field. A mixture between horse trainer and social media girl for a training stable would be perfect . I have the plan to talk to a trainer, soon, so we'll see...

And at the end of every work day it's more like "finally I can close my laptop, what did I even do today?" because it's nearly never a single project with a final outcome, but 50 small things, all mushed together, everyone is annoyed and there is no final result