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How Are You Feeling Today?

#applehead24 said:
like I make everything worse…
I know it’s not my fault, but being in that position in the past and not being able to help others that I care about out of that position really hurts
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No you help a lot. I don't know what you're talking about. You've helped me so much. This is my fault, you don't even need to help me if you feel this way.
 
@#applehead24 @MJ is my life - none of my business, but I have to point it out, because it's so visible in these posts: both of you don't want to talk about your problems, both of you think you're not worthy of getting help/friendship, etc. but you both tell each other to talk about your problems and that you are worthy of friendship and love.

What I want to say: it's great that you have each others backs but you should also give the advice you give to other people to yourself. Talk to yourself like you woud talk to a good friend.

Hope it's understandable what I want to express 🙈.

And don't say "I can't". It's a process, start with little things.
 
MJ is my life said:
........you can't just do that @someplace_else. I would ask them to tell the truth? Maybe? It depends how much information I already had
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I can, because I read your posts and would like to encourage all you guys to gain some self esteem. It's uncomfortable and a lot of work, but there's no other solution.

I know it's tempting to float in that puddle of melancholy, sadness and hopelessness - and sometimes it's okay to do that. But in general, you and only you can save yourself. And that applies to a lot of posts I have seen here the last weeks.

Back to the question: you wrote "I'm good, you don't have to worry about me". Well, if a friend of mine would tell me that and she wasn't "okay" (and I can see in many posts here what's going on) I would clearly tell her that I can see she's not doing well and that I do worry and that this is okay, because I care and she needs someone to lean on. So, you should tell yourself "I am not okay and it's great that people care about me because everyone deserves people who listen to you and help you".

That's why I wrote - every time you're like "ah, it's fine, don't worry, I don't want to be a burden" - think about what if a friend told you this?

I know this takes time and believe me, it gets a little easier when you're older. But you have to understand that you have the power to change your life. And to do that you need self awareness and self esteem. Otherwise you can easily make quite horrible experiences in your life (speaking from experience). That's why I am writing this...way too long text, like I notice at this very moment 😅
 
someplace_else said:
I can, because I read your posts and would like to encourage all you guys to gain some self esteem. It's uncomfortable and a lot of work, but there's no other solution
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someplace_else said:
I know it's tempting to float in that puddle of melancholy, sadness and hopelessness - and sometimes it's okay to do that. But in general, you and only you can save yourself. And that applies to a lot of posts I have seen here the last weeks.

Back to the question: you wrote "I'm good, you don't have to worry about me". Well, if a friend of mine would tell me that and she wasn't "okay" (and I can see in many posts here what's going on) I would clearly tell her that I can see she's not doing well and that I do worry and that this is okay, because I care and she needs someone to lean on. So, you should tell yourself "I am not okay and it's great that people care about me because everyone deserves people who listen to you and help you".

That's why I wrote - every time you're like "ah, it's fine, don't worry, I don't want to be a burden" - think about what if a friend told you this?

I know this takes time and believe me, it gets a little easier when you're older. But you have to understand that you have the power to change your life. And to do that you need self awareness and self esteem. Otherwise you can easily make quite horrible experiences in your life (speaking from experience). That's why I am writing this...way too long text, like I notice at this very moment 😅
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While your response was written with love and supportive intent, I don’t feel that it’s helpful to command or imply that they need to have higher self esteem. This only creates another thing for them to feel bad about achieving.

Instead, validate their feelings. Express your care with positive reinforcement. And perhaps offer solutions if you can. This is especially important when communicating with young people.
 
PrinceLucien said:
While your response was written with love and supportive intent, I don’t feel that it’s helpful to command or imply that they need to have higher self esteem. This only creates another thing for them to feel bad about achieving.

Instead, validate their feelings. Express your care with positive reinforcement. And perhaps offer solutions if you can. This is especially important when communicating with young people.
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I just wanted to point out that one has to really work on self awareness and self esteem. I also wrote that it's a long way, so no pressure. Just be aware. It's a tough job, but it's doable. And I wrote it in a "harsh" style to be very clear, because I have seen these posts for several weeks now and really want to get some things going. It makes me angry and sad when people say "I am not worthy", because I always ask myself who planted these thoughts. That's unfair and very hard to work your way out of this point of view. And you need a little aggression to find the power to do this - show your boundaries, know your worth.

And of course one should always validate their feelings and also accept help from others, important point, thank you.

I can also recommend listening to psychology podcasts. Unfortunately I only know German ones...
 
Some of the things I read on here are very alarming, I can understand why @someplace_else felt the need to respond to it. Some things sound beyond the general sharing of feelings and border on sounding like a cry for help, and due to the repetitive nature of such messages, it's hard to distinguish if a person is venting or if there is something more concerning happening.

If there is someone experiencing something more concerning, then please seek the right kind of help. If you are still at school/college, please speak with a member of staff there, they may be able to access the support you need.

If someone is writing these types of messages purely to vent, maybe it's time to explore additional coping strategies, particularly if you have felt like this for a prolonged period of time.

If you are a child in the UK, there is always the Childline helpline.

But it's unrealistic to write such messages on a thread like this and expect others to be indifferent to it.

Whatever your situation, I wish you healing. Although it may not seem like it at times, experience has taught me the world is full of people who want to help, the hardest part maybe deciding to reach out for that help.
 
I’m ok. But Life, I’m really serious, if you need help, you know I’m here, I don’t want you feel sad or worst. Please take care of yourself and if you need help, you can call 1-800-463-1850.

Here you have it in French but you can change language.
 
MJ is my life said:
And no way I'm reaching out for help
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May I ask why? Also including all the other people here who write concerning messages...

I know it's a big step, but maybe there are solutions you don't know about yet. e.g. you could talk to professionals without your parents knowing and they can give you advice how to handle certain situations. Doesn't mean when you ask for help that you will immediately be taken from your family. It just means you have someone who can help you deal with the situation better and make plans for the future to enable you living a fulfilled life.
 
I respect that, but you can't stop us from being worried about you. So if things are really bad, we'll be there to help. We can be a kind and supportive listener, and we can try to make sure you feel better. If you're going through a difficult time, it's normal for us to be worried about you because we care about you and it's only natural to want to help.
 
MJ is my life said:
Because I don't need people knowing or worrying about my problems. It will just make things worse. And now I can't talk to applehead24 about it
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Maybe there are hotlines/websites you can contact anonymous, so you can at least tell someone professional about your problems and get tips. I am also sure there is a confidentiality agreement, so you don't have to worry about other people finding out. This way things can't get worse, you really should think about it.

Hope you all will find a solution for your situations. I am sure it will get better in the future, but really, really think about getting help.
 
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