Can't Think of Anything Worse - My personal feelings shared.

Mack

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Just for an instant... not quite a second; as I awake and open my eyes - I feel a sense of warmth and hope because my subconscious has not caught up with time and with reality... but after that moment has passed, the pain engulfs me. An internal emotional explosion follows - which I have learnt to adapt to, but is something that will never cease to be.

I have been a Michael fan practically since birth. I have often joked that I must've been born with an extra sort of chromosome that made me an innate Michael Jackson lover, supporter and follower. I know many of us on this board have similar feelings and a similar story to mine - but it is clear that this pain affects us all in different ways.

Michael has been the main constant in my life - when I say this, I mean he has always been there... and the comfort of knowing that Michael and I were on the same planet gave me strength, hope and the promise of a happier tomorrow.

I feel empty now he's gone. Empty.

That night that it happened, I'm sure we will all never forget. I remember each thought, each movement ... each tear and each emotion. I wish things had been different.

Every time I see his picture and every time I hear his voice my heart literally skips a beat to avoid the shocks of pain that run throughout my entire being.

I try to carry on with things, I have to work every day...and I have to cope with general things in life... but I can honestly say, every second I think to myself "Thankyou Michael, I love you Michael, I miss you Michael" and "please come back Michael".

Michael was my brother, my father.. my mother, my sister and my friend. You take the best part of me with you, wherever you are Michael... and I will love you and honour you forever...

You gave me everything I have. God obviously needed his head angel back, even though... I need you more...we need you more and the world needs you more.
 
I've got tears in my eyes reading that ya know?...I used to Never cry...Not for nobody...i cry if something happened to me but not 4 anyone else...I'll feel sad that they went through a hard time but I NEVER Cry...
The 1st time i cried for another person was On JUNE 13th 2005 (4:43 PM EST.) It was a happy cry cuz he passed God's test...and a Sad cry because He had to go through that!!! The 2nd time i cried was when i heard Michael's voice in a new song "Hold my hand" last year...it was happy tears...

The third time I cried was JUNE 25th...the worst day in my life. I cried for hours after that...Then I thought i was done...Oh boy, was I wrong...the next day, when I Woke up something just triggerd inside me and my tears just started to flaw...My heart was heavy and i had a shortness of breath...

You know what i do when i wanna leave the reality with out Michael...I go to a site called MJdeath hoax. B4 you judge me, I wanna say that that site is what kept me sane til now...I just want to tell you we're all here for eachother and dont worry, Michael will always live here...

LOVE,
Romi


 
Cartman, you perfectly expressed a lot of my own feelings. It is so painful to have it be a harsh reminder every morning...and I think of him all day too. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. Hugs to you.
 
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