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Having lots of problems today..

MissingMichael

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I don't know if it's because I'm on Michael overload.. meaning, I've been glued to YouTube and this board all day.

I don't even want anything to do with my own husband, I just want to think about Michael.

Is there something wrong with that?

I'm just so incredibly sad, all over again, still, miserable, that MJ is gone.


-- Sigh
 
MissingMichael, you are not alone in feeling like this at all. Sometimes i'll be okay and other times, I feel so sad over MJ's passing. I don't want to be bothered that much with my b/f either these days which I know is not nice, but I am just not in that mood to be all loving and whatever else, so I know how you feel in a way when you talked about your Husband. I just do normal everyday things (Work, school,etc.) because I have to but my mind is never 100% there. It's mostly on Michael. I will say though that it is good to try to go out and have some fun to at least try and take your mind off of MJ. I've done that more recently and it made me feel a little better. It was only temporary, but at least I felt better for the time being.

But I am very sad about Michael. So many unresolved feelings. I can't fathom that he's gone really.
 
Me too. I cant believe he really is gone and its tough. I just cant believe it because my heart doesnt want to accept it. I struggle daily with this. I wake up and look and my MJ shelf and the harsh reality starts sinking in.
It hurts so much :cry: I work in a retail setting and when its slow Michael is all I think about. Im in so much agony, I just want to know he is ok.
 
I went through this phase where i didn't do anything but youtube him. Then i went through a phase where i refused to listen or watch him.
Right now, i can listen to him, but watching him still remains a problem. I don't know if i can ever actually watch him again to tell you the truth.
It's too heavy for me. We're all lucky that we have mjjcommunity. We are also lucky that our community is among one if not THE most supportive fanbase ever ( in my opinion anyway ) Us michael fans stick together.
I mean we've stuck by together through both the trials, we'll be able to supprt eachother throughout this time - the hardest.
 
I thought I was going nuts not wanting to even be intimate with my husband anymore.. I'm glad I'm not alone.

I was watching some videos (new ones) on YouTube, and it freaked me out, I thought, "We'll never see anything new from him ever again." It scared me and shocked me. I just kept watching slide shows of him, and I was all happy then I thought, "he's not alive anymore, there's no more paparazzi pictures, no more shopping pictures, no more interviews...". I guess reality is setting in and I can't stand it. I'm teary eyed typing this. I want to see new, ALIVE pictures of him, not of his casket. :(

Here come the water works.. :(
 
I'm gonna miss coming here and seeing new pics of Michael or speculating about new music. I can't believe we'll never see a new pic of him alive with him giving the peace sign or waving with his sometimes crazy outfits :cry:. Ah, i'm about to cry now.
 
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Michael was misunderstood by so many,in there eyes when you reach a certain age you are expected to act it but michael did not have a childhood so he created one.
He was loving,caring and people made fun of him for this.
This world sucks.
On a lighter note i think we should send god a petition to send michael back as we need him more!!!!!!!!!!!.

MissingMichael In time you will get stronger and be able to deal with all this better.
but in the meantime we are all your friends here.
 
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Yeah i don't get why people don't understand Neverland and him being childlike and redeeming what he has lost.
It's like the natural equilibrium of life. What you didn't have, you make up for later in life. It happens all the time to everyone. I just don't get it?
If i didn't have a childhood like Michael, i would've done everything just like he did.
 
hi, if you feel overwhelmed by sadness and grief it could be a good idea to see a doctor you trust and talk about it as you may need help in dealing with this loss that all of us feel
 
MissingMichael, I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I hope this community is providing some kind of support to you. We're all grieving and I always find it helps a little knowing "you are not alone" :better:

I can understand why you're not feeling connected with your husband right now, does he emphasize with your sadness? I agree with Krism, if this continues it may be a good idea to seek a doctor's advice.

Take care for now..
 
Absolutely_A said:
MissingMichael, I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I hope this community is providing some kind of support to you. We're all grieving and I always find it helps a little knowing "you are not alone" :better:

I can understand why you're not feeling connected with your husband right now, does he emphasize with your sadness? I agree with Krism, if this continues it may be a good idea to seek a doctor's advice.

Take care for now..
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I think he does understand. Maybe not the whole REASON I'm upset, but because my fear of death got so much stronger, and it's scaring me.

Thanks for all the kind words, everyone.. I need them.
 
(((HUGS))) to you. I'm so sorry that you are going through this... it WILL get easier, I promise you.. Hang in there...
 
Its OK to have bad days, then worse than bad days. Then when you think it cant feel any worse, it does. It is all natural and part of grieving. I often find that after a really bad spell of feeling low, lost, like something is missing, I cry and then after a while I feel a little bit better. Im still not yet able to listen to some songs or watch him, and I feel I must force myself to do this to enabl.e myself to accept. But I realise that even now Im not ready, but one day I will be.

And for those who have partners and husbands, I can understand. I feel like I neglected mine, couldnt communicate my feelings properly and felt distant. But things will get better with time.
 
I'm feeling exactly the same. I live on this computer and all I do is eat sleep drink Michael. I have lived on you tube the past couple of weeks. I miss him so very much and sometimes it just hits me that he is gone.
He was just an amazing "super" human, a pure gift from God. We miss you Michael. xxx
 
MissingMichael *hugs* good you're here and please feel welcome always to share your feelings.
We're in deep grief phases and for the outside or even non-fan-world that should be hard to understand. I don't blame them.
It's nice if you husband does have understanding.
Don't put pressure on yourself... take your time... pain does need time to leave.
Just please when you feel you can't take it anymore and you can't go through it... then a doctor is the right choice.
Please know we're here with you.
 
MissingMichael said:
I think he does understand. Maybe not the whole REASON I'm upset, but because my fear of death got so much stronger, and it's scaring me.

Thanks for all the kind words, everyone.. I need them.
Click to expand...

Thats interesting because my fear of death is a lot less now since he passed.
not sure if thats a healthy statement or not lol.
 
Dunno if that's healthy or not either, but that's how I felt as well... At least when it's our time to go, along with beloved friends and family who've passed away we'll get to see MJ as well, hold his hand talk to him. That's actually a nice feeling.
 
MissingMichael said:
I don't know if it's because I'm on Michael overload.. meaning, I've been glued to YouTube and this board all day.

I don't even want anything to do with my own husband, I just want to think about Michael.

Is there something wrong with that?

I'm just so incredibly sad, all over again, still, miserable, that MJ is gone.

-- Sigh
Click to expand...
Like Emma said, it's ok to have a bad day! And it's quite understandable that you're not in the mood to be intimate with your husband. You are grieving and grieving takes time. Give yourself that time, give yourself a chance to cope with this. And if it get's to much don't hesitate to call a doctor. It may seem scary to do, but mental health professionals are trained to pull you through this loss if you feel like you cannot do it on your own. Try talking to your husband a bit, so that you can give him a chance to understand what you are going through (if he doesn't already). Afterall you can use all the support you can get, right?
We're here for you aswell, so feel free to come here whenever you feel like it ok? Hang in there, you can do it :better:


shirley17 said:
I'm feeling exactly the same. I live on this computer and all I do is eat sleep drink Michael. I have lived on you tube the past couple of weeks. I miss him so very much and sometimes it just hits me that he is gone. He was just an amazing "super" human, a pure gift from God. We miss you Michael. xxx
Click to expand...
Don't forget to take care of yourself aswell ok? Maybe take a little walk or a bath. :better:

Mechi said:
MissingMichael *hugs* good you're here and please feel welcome always to share your feelings.
We're in deep grief phases and for the outside or even non-fan-world that should be hard to understand. I don't blame them.
It's nice if you husband does have understanding.
Don't put pressure on yourself... take your time... pain does need time to leave.
Just please when you feel you can't take it anymore and you can't go through it... then a doctor is the right choice.
Please know we're here with you.
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That goes for you Mechi. We are here for you aswell, if you want to talk. Im really proud of you for how you're coping with all this :better:
 
I have particularly bad days aswell. It's natural I guess. Some days it just hurts so much i can't see it ever getting better. Hopefully there will be lots of unreleased music/pictures and maybe even video that we can look forward to seeing and we can pretend its brand new. I'm just so glad we have this board to come to where we can share our feelings with others who feel the same.

jr7661 said:
Thats interesting because my fear of death is a lot less now since he passed.
not sure if thats a healthy statement or not lol.
Click to expand...


Yeah so has mine. I can't explain why but I'm not as scared as i was before.
 
Laura_MJfan said:
I have particularly bad days aswell. It's natural I guess. Some days it just hurts so much i can't see it ever getting better. Hopefully there will be lots of unreleased music/pictures and maybe even video that we can look forward to seeing and we can pretend its brand new. I'm just so glad we have this board to come to where we can share our feelings with others who feel the same.




Yeah so has mine. I can't explain why but I'm not as scared as i was before.
Click to expand...

I feel the same. I'm not afraid of death anymore (scared of HOW I might die but that's something else) because I know that I will see all of the people I love dearly up there :)
 
Thanks everyone.

:)

I guess the whole scared of death thing is just some anxiety... but now I'm thinking "where do you go when you die? Or is it just black? I don't know.. it's so hard to believe he's not living, breathing, thinking right now.
 
Yes thats an unknown question, i guess only the dead can answer.
but if you believe in life after death then it would make things easier.
ive never been a church goer and i wish i was now,
everyone is unique and michael was more than unique,he was blessed with so much!.
Would be great to see one of his kids start up in the music business,then we could follow there careers.
 
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