- Feb 28, 2009
Here's how I feel about the "alive/hoax vs. gone forever" thing....
I would have never EVER thought we'd have to say goodbye to Michael so soon. It was a complete shock to hear about MJ's death and the pain is still unbearable. A day doesn't go by that I don't think about Michael and I still cry very, very often because I miss Michael so much. Yes, he was "just an entertainer" and someone I did not know personally, but he still meant/means a lot to me. Michael has brought so much joy and happiness into my life in so many different ways. He's been a role model and a "source of strength". He has just been a big part of my life since 1987, and I could never thank him enough for all the happy moments I was able to have because of him. All the beautiful memories make me smile through the tears and I am SO GRATEFUL I was able to have those moments. However, because I had the HAPPIEST moments in my life thanks to MJ, his death naturally completely tore my heart apart.
That being said...Because I miss him SO MUCH and just do NOT want him to be gone forever, I keep praying there would be a way to have him back. I don't really believe in a hoax. And it's hard to believe he'd be alive. I WISH there would be a way he'd still be alive and I WISH he would come back. But the autopsy report is what makes it seem "final". :boohoo: I mean, if MJ was alive...whose body did they do an autopsy on then?:blink: :scratch: It would be very easy to try to think of all kinds of theories and possibilities how MJ could have faked his death and how he could still be alive....but I just can't find any theory for the autopsy other than that MJ really is gone. :boohoo: :boohoo: That is what stops me and brings me to reality. I can understand the hoax theories because I too would SO MUCH want Michael to still be alive and I just want to be able to see him again! I just want to have him back on this earth because I miss him so much!! So I can really understand why people are trying to find a way how Michael could still be alive. It is SO HARD to let go. :boohoo: Also, we all are used to long waits between albums and there's always been periods of "where is he?"..."droughts", when we didn't see MJ much. Also, MJ's music is everywhere and no matter where you look...he's just everywhere....on TV, radio, magazines, internet...just everywhere. So in a way it doesn't feel like he is gone and it is very easy to pretend his death was just a bad, bad dream. So much so, that even I sometimes still have to check the boards to see his death is real and I didn't just have a nightmare where he died, because on some days I am still like "Is he really GONE?? :bugeyed It feels so unreal!! It just can't be??!!" :no:
Anyways, like I said, I don't really believe in the hoax theories, but I do pray to God and keep asking God to find a way to bring MJ back. The autopsy is what I can't "explain away", but I keep asking God to figure out how it could still be possible that MJ is alive and I keep asking God to let us have MJ back. I just keep wishing and daydreaming that one day MJ would come back like he did in Moonwalker...just appear from the fog. Or that he'd come back and would just be like "DID I SCARE YA??!!".:tease: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Anyways, to sum it up...I don't think MJ is still alive because they did an autopsy...but I keep hoping/praying/wishing that there could be a way he would still be alive. I just wanna have him back!! I MISS HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :boohoo: :boohoo: :boohoo:
Thank You for being so painfully honest Summer.....this is an excellent post and I think that you may have put MANY fans feelings right here without realizing it.....I think we all think the same things maybe some of us just dont realize it yet...or maybe some of us won't let ourselves realize it...but in the end it is what is it and I think we are afraid to admit it because then we will be having to admit that Michael really is truly gone. :hug:..Now me personally ..I know Michael is gone...HOWEVER...I hold out a little tiny spot in my heart that Michael may still be here....I think that is normal...I think that is called hope.