Me, God, and Michael

[Dangerous21]

Me, God, and Michael

I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while now. In part to get advice, but mainly to express how I’m feeling to people who can understand. I want to preface this by saying that I am not saying Michael Jackson is God. Rather, I’m describing my relationship with both God and Michael.

I want to start by taking us back 15-20 years. I grew up in maybe the first generation of kids where it was NOT cool to like Michael Jackson. I was 8 years old when Dangerous came out. It was the first album I ever bought (thanks Mum!) and it remains my favorite MJ album to this day. I remember playing it and Thriller at my birthday party that year. Soon after, the allegations happened and it became very uncool to like Michael. But I did still like him. At that time I had no idea what the allegations even meant or what the truth was.

But I grew up and wanted to learn more, because listening to Michael makes you love Michael, and I just knew Michael was not the person the media wanted him to be. He was, actually, a true Hero. Like all of you, I quickly learned the truth about what happened and became disgusted by people’s jealousy and greed.

But my faith was not tested until 2004.

I believed in Michael more than I ever believed in God. I have never been a religious person, although I would not call myself an agnostic. I’ve always believed in Good and knew that Good would always prevail. To me, God is the goodness we see all around us. I’ve always found goodness to be beautiful. It is a power that I know exists in everyone. And I always felt the goodness in Michael's heart from the very beginning.

I grew up praying to God every night before bed. And during the trial, I prayed to God that justice would prevail. That Michael would be free. I prayed that he would be left alone with his children and never be hurt again. I was even okay if he would never do another song or performance again if it meant he would be found innocent.

I read so much about the trial and the facts that the media ignored on a daily basis. I was on MJJForum nonstop. In the end, I had no doubt in my mind about who Michael was as a person.

I believed in Michael more than anything I ever had before. Nothing had ever been so life or death to me. Most things in life we believe in are never scrutinized to such a degree as Michael’s whole life was. Most beliefs are never put on trial. It felt as though everything I ever believed in was on trial. This was it.

To me, the trial was a battle of Good versus Evil. My whole world would shatter if evil conquered. “Who would save the planet then?” I thought.

When the verdict was near, I told God one day, “I won’t believe in You if Michael is found guilty.” I was more certain that Michael was innocent than I was that Good would beat Evil. Sometimes good men and women get punished unfairly.

Michael was found innocent as I knew he was. I was able to continue living in a world where Good prevailed. It felt as though the world had become right again.


My world died last June.


After the months of crying and misery, I’ve realized that I can’t believe in God anymore. I don’t know how long this will last, or if it will ever go away, but I just don’t have that faith. Michael was the embodiment of Good in this world to me. He was my shining example of how to live life. How to feel. How to be myself. How to treat people. How to love. He is so much and more.

I still believe in Goodness. Even at the worst moments, a little tiny part of me just knew that the Good within Michael was still alive in this world.

But now I am left feeling as though there is no reason for me to pray to God. What for? How and why would such a Good Man be taken? I feel as though God doesn’t really rule the world. I feel as though Goodness is the only thing that I can hold on to. That’s what Michael taught me. And I put my faith in Michael over Him.

I’ve been telling people, “My relationship with God is on the rocks” because it’s the truth. This week, I actually tried praying for the first time in a year, but my heart wasn’t in it. I just don’t believe anymore. I think it’s up to God to save this relationship now…

 

[Applehead Ale]

those are very deep thoughts. I feel like you in one way. Maybe in more than one. But there are things to pray for. For example, you can pray, as I do, for people to follow Michael example and ''learn'' how to love, treat people, how to feel and those things that represent goodness.
Thats all i can write, im not good writing too much and my english is not to good, but I hope you to appreciate my words like i appreciated yours.

 

[Janart]

This is sooooo sad it made me cry,
I have been praying every day since MJ's death, my ritual when I go to bed is to chat within my mine to Michael. It might sound nuts but it's like I can heir him and he heirs me, He always says "u do the lords prayer first", witch I promptly do. I do not want to upset any fans but I do believe Michael is even more powerful now and can touch more people that love him than he ever could in this world, that at times would target such a good sole, god gave man free will, it was mans free will that took our beloved Michael. You hold on to that goodness because that and Michael is what will help you find god again. I send you all my love on your journey. :hug:

 

[CherubimII]

Here's a hug, and
a God Bless you to everyone that reads this post.

 

[144000]

i like saying this to people who post things like this. God can take it. and on a journey like this, if you travel far enough, you will find things that you never thought you would find..cus there's always something that someone has yet to read about God. something yet unseen. and a lot of times, an assessment of god comes, before all is read, and understood..because, lots of times, we only depend on what we hear from others about God..if god is really alive..then, like u said..it's up to Him. if everything we get about God, only comes from the mouth of a man or woman, then...how alive is god, really? like the above poster, said..well..i don't know if it matters...what we say...either you will continue your journey, or you won't..as far as waiting on what God has to say, is concerned...

i'd like to add that, a lot of times, we determine things by what we see with our eyes. but, that might be as misleading as determining whether or not a basketball team, will win a game, tomorrow, based on whether or not, they won a game, yesterday..

 

[Dangerous21]

Maybe I came across improperly, but I'm not challenging God. I'm not saying that I "dont need God" or feel too good for God. This is more a reflection on my experiences. In the past year, I have realized that I believe in the goodness of people and nature as opposed to the traditional "god" figure. I believe in the essence of purity, goodness, innocence. And, I learned so much of it from Michael. More than I ever learned from religion or scripture, the written teachings of God.

I posted this to see if others have had similar experiences and to learn from them. I did not post to have people "tight" with god be judgmental.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Applehead Ale]

Maybe I came across improperly, but I'm not challenging God. I'm not saying that I "dont need God" or feel too good for God. This is more a reflection on my experiences. In the past year, I have realized that I believe in the goodness of people and nature as opposed to the traditional "god" figure. I believe in the essence of purity, goodness, innocence. And, I learned so much of it from Michael. More than I ever learned from religion or scripture, the written teachings of God.

I posted this to see if others have had similar experiences and to learn from them. I did not post to have people "tight" with god be judgmental.

Thanks for reading.

I think I learnead more from Michael too, after all he said that his purpose on earth was that, saying people to heal the world, love each other, care for each other among other things. But the important its not from who you learned it, the important is that you learned and Im happy that Michael taught me that.

 

[Janart]

Maybe I came across improperly, but I'm not challenging God. I'm not saying that I "dont need God" or feel too good for God. This is more a reflection on my experiences. In the past year, I have realized that I believe in the goodness of people and nature as opposed to the traditional "god" figure. I believe in the essence of purity, goodness, innocence. And, I learned so much of it from Michael. More than I ever learned from religion or scripture, the written teachings of God.

I posted this to see if others have had similar experiences and to learn from them. I did not post to have people "tight" with god be judgmental.

Thanks for reading.

I don't think anyone wants to come across as Judgmental,
I think its more people wanting to sher with u what they feel or understand, to help u.
I personally am not in any religion, I just mostly go by feelings. I have however studied religions and some science but I have found it easier to go by the heart rather than the written word, I am happy MJ has touched u me and a hell of alot of others teaching us how to treat the world and each other.

 

[144000]

actually i agreed with the idea of people to challenge God. i thought that's what i expressed in my post. i didn't think i was being judgemental.

i challenge God myself..

that, to me, is not a reflection of whether i think i am better than him or not.. it's a reflection of what i go through in life..like a lot of people...
and what MJ and his innocence went through was one of those challenges for me..as those are qualities i admire, very much.

so i wanted to challenge nature..the idea of who God or what god was supposed to be..the unseen..and even beyond the written word..but mostly, what i was taught by other people...i guess that's what i was trying to say.... because, initially, i saw god in nature and the definition of what was supposed to be good and innocent, and Mike certainly was the messenger of that..stuff, way beyond written words..and what i was taught the 'god' figure was supposed to be, by other people

i didn't expect to be able to explain my own take on all this, well, but i thought i would try...

boy i wish i wasn't on the internet so much, while i'm greiving..but i need someone to talk to about Michael...

...there's always my friend, Wendi

 

[JMie]

I am not a religious person myself, I don't go to church to pray and I rarely pray in my mind at all, if ever, even though I believe in some higher spirit, something bigger than people here on Earth.... And I always believed that everything happens for a reason. Even in my worst moments I used to tell myself that it was happening for a reason, and all the mess and pain I was experiencing would be for the greater good and would make sense to me later in my life.

But when Michael was taken.... I can't find a reason. I can't find any reasonable and acceptable explanation why it had to happen. And it's my biggest problem with God or whoever it is up there. I don't understand why.

On the other hand, after Michael's passing I kind of started to believe in the afterlife. I hadn't thought much about these things before, but with Michael I can't accept the thought that after your life on Earth is over, that's all, nothing happens after that. I like to think that our journey is longer than life on Earth and that Michael exists somewhere in some other form probably, but he still exists and some day we will meet again..

I don't know if anything I wrote here makes sense. sorry.

 

[Janart]

I am not a religious person myself, I don't go to church to pray and I rarely pray in my mind at all, if ever, even though I believe in some higher spirit, something bigger than people here on Earth.... And I always believed that everything happens for a reason. Even in my worst moments I used to tell myself that it was happening for a reason, and all the mess and pain I was experiencing would be for the greater good and would make sense to me later in my life.

But when Michael was taken.... I can't find a reason. I can't find any reasonable and acceptable explanation why it had to happen. And it's my biggest problem with God or whoever it is up there. I don't understand why.

On the other hand, after Michael's passing I kind of started to believe in the afterlife. I hadn't thought much about these things before, but with Michael I can't accept the thought that after your life on Earth is over, that's all, nothing happens after that. I like to think that our journey is longer than life on Earth and that Michael exists somewhere in some other form probably, but he still exists and some day we will meet again..

I don't know if anything I wrote here makes sense. sorry.

That was beautifully written.

 

[Dangerous21]

I am not a religious person myself, I don't go to church to pray and I rarely pray in my mind at all, if ever, even though I believe in some higher spirit, something bigger than people here on Earth.... And I always believed that everything happens for a reason. Even in my worst moments I used to tell myself that it was happening for a reason, and all the mess and pain I was experiencing would be for the greater good and would make sense to me later in my life.

But when Michael was taken.... I can't find a reason. I can't find any reasonable and acceptable explanation why it had to happen. And it's my biggest problem with God or whoever it is up there. I don't understand why.

On the other hand, after Michael's passing I kind of started to believe in the afterlife. I hadn't thought much about these things before, but with Michael I can't accept the thought that after your life on Earth is over, that's all, nothing happens after that. I like to think that our journey is longer than life on Earth and that Michael exists somewhere in some other form probably, but he still exists and some day we will meet again..

I don't know if anything I wrote here makes sense. sorry.

It does make sense. Actually, this is also my first time ever i wished there was/is an afterlife. To see Michael again...I'm someone who really doesn't believe in heaven/hell...i think its just the circle of life and in the end, I will be part of the dirt again. BUT, it sure would be nice to see Michael....

 

[Severus Snape]

I would rather worship Michael than worship a god. It makes more sense.

Seriously speaking, though... what is going on within your mind is extremely personal and I wish to respect that. I am agnostic and I do not believe in a god or gods at all. I won't insult people who do, since I do believe that people should do whatever works for them even if it defies conventional logic. I don't have all the answers, so I can't sit here and judge someone who believes in a god any more than I can judge someone who shares my lack of belief. In the end, no one knows for certain.

Part of my reason for not believing in a god is the "why do the good die young and the evil live on" question. What kind of a supposedly good and loving god would sit by and let people destroy each other? Then there's all the torture Michael had to endure in life. Who would let that happen to such a sweet and kind man?

I would be inclined to believe in Michael more than in a god because at least Michael did something to make this world a better place. He wasn't the type of person who just "prays" for others and never gets off his ass to actually DO something to help them. Michael, although he believed in some sort of deity, also believed in the power of action. He sets a better example to follow than a god who just sits on his ass while the world is plunged into madness.

That's my take on things, though. I don't want to say too much just because I feel this is a very personal thing for you. I think you will find whatever answer suits you through your own introspection. The world is far too relative to be defined in a single manner. It is like a kaleidoscope--no two people view it in the same way.

What I have typed above is just my view of our kaleidoscope. Take from it what you will, if anything at all, and disregard the rest.