Every1 wanna be like.......MIKE
Johnson
Jordan
W. Smith
Tyson
Hey, even
ai was a Michael of sorts lol. About three years ago on one of them Facebook quizzes - the one about angels, well....my result was Michael, highly, highly ironic :lol: But i've had it on good authority that it matched my personality, so that wasn't that big of a mistake after
all :cheeky:
Oh, and there's this other fellow by the name of
MICHAEL............i been told he's also named JACKSON
*What is shhhe doin'? I thought I told her to beat it. What on earth is she up to nooow?* - scratches head, rolls eyes and checks the mirror
*What's she goin' on about? Ain't nothin' wrong wit my hair* takes another stare
*Oh, dang, she's right, I forgot to give Aretha the ribbon back from the last inagural*
*.....swell, there she goes aaagain ruinin' my disguise. Damn, will she everrrr learn to behave? someone needs to put her back in her place*
Put your hands where my eyes can see and hushhhh your mouth boy. That ain't no way to talk to people........if you really wanna shout and cuss people out
here's what you gotta say %^#@$%^&*^% and while we at it, step back, take another look and learn already - how many times do i gotta show ya? Thissss is how u do a proper bootey shake. I know imitation is the highest form of flattery, but still.....you actually gotta try and be an honorable replica of the original. *she slaps her shabby head - will
he ever learn? And they think he can dance*
She sits and thinks: *I guess you can dance a bit after all. Oh well, you go on entertaining them, while i entertain you*
*jumps in the car* - Sure Mike, long as they got whole nuts chocolate i'm willing to testify anything, i'll admit even ish i ain't done...yet.
[and for those offended by profanities and in possession of the irrefutable truth that Michael, as the protector of women all over the world would never have addressed a lady like that, here goes the clean, censored version of the same even from a different, purer perspective]
[having since removed all such disturbing elements, we can now report the complete recovery of the world economy and the achievement of world peace]
*screaaams* - Mike, where you at??? *Stares out the window, looks up at the Statue of Liberty and sees him dangling from its flame 20 years after the shooting of the B&W video had finished*
- What you want, girl? I was gettin' hungry. If I was gonna wait any longer for you to start cookin' I would've died of starvation.
- Oh, so that's the gratitude i get for standin' in this stinkin' kitchen fryin' all this chicken for ya. Fineee boy, have it your way. Keep this up and next time around i'll send you on top of the pyramids to eat somethin.
- Been there, done that. I was doin' that before you was even born little girl - na na na naaah *sticks his tongue out*
Sorry folks, y'all have to excuse her brutish behavior. She's a wild one. I'm doin' my best to correct her attitude, but there's only so much I can do. Unfortunately, it ain't enough. The bad part about it is that if I can't do it, nobody can and that spells trouble with the capital A for all of us. Y'all better run and hide and stay out of her way, it's the safest bet and my friendly advice. I can tame her every now and then, but I don't offer complete guarantees.
Y'all afraid you can't recognize her? Well, it's reaaally easy to spot her out. She's the one with the fire in the eyes, roamin' around your airports, cities and villages and blastin her music, oooops meants to say my music from the car. Stay outta her way and you will be fine.
*she pulls off her apron in anger and slams the door behind her and he starts runnin' after her*
- Come on girrrrrrl, don't be like that. You know i didn't mean it. I luuuuuve the way you cook.
- Ooh please, as if.......too little, too late. Go eat at some restaurant; or better yet, why don't you cook for yourself?
-
I will, i will. Know what, we'll switch roles and tonight imma cook somethin' for you for once, how bout that? Come on, girl.
- Really, what will you?
- It's a surprise, can't tell ya.
- But imma like it, right?
- For sure. Would I ever lie to you? *pulls an innocent face*
*takes a look at him pretendin' to buy his cheap arse act* - Youuuu? Never, everrrr, not in a billion years. Hope you realize however that cute smile don't get u out of the mess you created the other week. Don't believe for a second i forgot about that.
-
Dang girl, why you gotta be so darn disproportionate? Why must you have the memory of an elephant and the brain the size of an ant?
*fuming, gives him a super duper angry stare and goes away*
- Baby, baby, come over here. You know i was just jokin'.
*she comes back smilin' and gives him a kiss* - I knew that. Oh and baby, btw......the Academy Awards have called. They told me they invented a special prize just for you. The Razzies ain't enough for your regal behind. You need to make some time and go get your prize for worst actor in history. They know how much you love them trophies, so i thought i might give them a hand with nominating you since i are the best witness to your poor actin' skills.
- Aren't you a funny lil' thing?
- Of course i are, and that's why you love me. That a few dozen other things they don't need to know squat about.