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So much to lose

praisemichael

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So much to lose

My name is yet unknown, my journey is nothing new and our memories have therefore blown out of sight, into the sky. We pray to one that we have the strength to carry on.
We live our lives as normal leaving the ones we love the most alone. Without realising we give our back to help others, others being the ones that hurt us the most. The expression of “you have my back and I have yours” but who are you helping, because when that soul has now flown it’s too late to be that one you loved.

We reach down to see ourselves, but if you look deep into your eyes your soul’s there. The eyes hold your vision you can see the heart beating. A person’s eyes tell you how they feel, the star rides along the ball sparkling with delight when they laugh. When the mouth bellows with joy it’s when the eyes are dead that you know their soul has died.

I have to so much to lose but I act as though I have never to lose. It’s as though my eyes are black, like I’m walking into despair. I make so many mistakes never learning from before. I feel as though I’m standing tall when really I’m so completely small. I cry from inside knowing there is no trust worthy of me.

The truth is I can’t handle the truth. It’s here in front of me on a plate named conscious. My conscious lies guilty with the knife sawing through to my spine and out the other side. A vision of a lifeless body, the shell of emptiness if I carry on the way I am. I have nothing to grab but the plea to stop. I grab the air above and around me. Through me and under me. I see the world in me, around me and under me. The only thing I have that is mine is my destiny. My destiny is mine and it’s what I do with it is something I need to decide.

I will cry every tear until my eyes run dry. I will scream every note until I have nothing to shout, and I will reach out to you until your no longer there. To the one I know and trust within itself I plea to you. Will myself step forward to help me be something of meaning. My destiny and I can conquer to all.
Olivia Saunders
09/12/2009
23:44

Ive been away for a while good to be back :) xxxx
 
Hmm, well, welcome back. I don't understand alot of it, I guess it's too abstract for me.
"When the mouth bellows with joy it's when the eyes are dead that you know their soul has died". --- what does that really mean?? Certainly if the eyes are dead and the soul has died (which it never does), then the mouth wouldn't be bellowing with joy?
 
Thank you for the welcome. And yes I was trying to explain it but in a shorter way. When I say "When the mouth bellows with joy", it's that person who has been through turmoil, sadness and struggle. When after everything they been through the smile/laughter they were known to show off with pride seemed slightly false. Where the smile doesnt quite reach their eyes.

Im trying to explain it best I can my mum says to me the sparkle in my eyes is gradually coming back. Michael had it, where you try and smile to convince, your smile says one thing but your eyes say it all.
 
praisemichael said:
Thank you for the welcome. And yes I was trying to explain it but in a shorter way. When I say "When the mouth bellows with joy", it's that person who has been through turmoil, sadness and struggle. When after everything they been through the smile/laughter they were known to show off with pride seemed slightly false. Where the smile doesnt quite reach their eyes.

Im trying to explain it best I can my mum says to me the sparkle in my eyes is gradually coming back. Michael had it, where you try and smile to convince, your smile says one thing but your eyes say it all.
Click to expand...

I understand exactly. thankyou for this.
 
Aw thanks :) I really hope I get better everytime I write....Well I hope that I do xx
 
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