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What am I to do?! Stop Believing...

MJFan4Eternity

MJFan4Eternity

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Here's my story I'm very shy and very timid but I'm working on it I honestly am. And I know this story is common blah blah. But if someone is willing to listen and give me advice I really Really would appercaite this.Okay so Today me and my mother got into a really bad fight which was mainly about a car.

I wanted a car and she was saying she wouldn't be able to afford the insurance for a new Driver.And then somehow we got on my career. I want to be an actress, It's my passion honestly not to seem like a drama queen but If I don't make it as an actress there's nothing else out there for I'd rather die.

And I understand it's hard and I may try my whole life but there's a chance that I can make it. So anyway My mother tells me that there's people who try their whole lives and never make it. I know I do.And then she goes on to say that acting isn't in my personality because I'm so shy that I'll probably never make it. And basically she doesn't believe I can do it she doesn't just come flat out and say it but she wants me to be realistic and think of something else. And that hurts so much all I want is for her to believe in me for everyone to believe in me. I want her to be the voice in my ear that when I'm having dobuts to push me to never give up, but she's already putting dobuts in my head before I've begun. I mean just IMO when a parent doesn't believe you can make it, it just sets a tone for insecurties your whole life. Because I've seen parents believe without a shadow of dobut they child could be something special.

And I just feel she doesn't think I can do it, that there isn't anything special about me. I really just wish she could be like one of those mother's who would stop at nothing to help there child see that there dreams come true. I mean I know this is hard but I mean I willing to try. She wants me to have a back-up incase it doesn't work out but that only puts in mind that it won't work out. I just want here to say that This will happen even if she's being dellusional I want her to be so dellusional that she's believes in me 100%. I don't think I'm asking to much buy maybe I'm missing something. But I mean I'm already scared and after what happened with my mom I mean I'm scared I'm thinking should I just give up or keep trying no matter what. Can anyone understand what I'm saying I may have just came right over and went straight to venting that I'm rambling.
 
My mom used to be a well-known acting teacher and casting director in Florida (primarily the south-eastern part, but she'd get opportunities to teach all over & sometimes in NYC) before she suffered a severe stroke back in early 2004. Even back then when the economy wasn't nearly as bad as today - actors were struggling. You need something to fall back on. It doesn't matter how good you are. If things don't line up, you don't want to end up being homeless or moving in with your parent(s) because you didn't want to prepare.

It doesn't mean you're giving up on your dream, it just means you're being realistic.


By the way, which type of acting are you planning on going into? Commercials/TV/Movies? Theater? Trust me, there's a HUGE difference.

If you're overly dramatic for Commercials/TV/Movies, you will NOT get any jobs (except for the roles where they ask for overly-dramatic people - but for the most part, people want to watch real people). But, overly-dramatizing things (to a certain degree) in theater is necessary because the entire audience needs to see your facial expressions and actions.

Do you have a resume? Headshots? An agent? Please, for the love of God, do not pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for these things. Growing up, I've heard way too many stories of people doing just that, and it's bloody pathetic.


Here are some tips from the company my mom founded: http://www.actorsinfobooth.com/category/resources/


By the way, this info is for the American acting industry only. I don't know anything about the international acting industry.

Question: If you do live in America, what city do you live in?
 
I say never ever give up on your dreams. No matter who doubts you, no matter what comes your way. My parents don't believe in me either but that's only because they don't believe in dreams, so I don't care. However, just as Rawr said, you need something to fall back on, it's being realistic and it doesn't mean that you won't ever make it.

I want to be a famous recording artist but I'm still in school and I'm going to go to university to get a degree in law. It doesn't mean that I won't make it or I don't believe in myself, it just puts me on the safe side and it helps me find a good, well paying job while I am working on launching my musical career. :)

:flowers: Keep the faith. :flowers:
 
I don't know if I agree with him but Will Smith said he never had a back up plan in case he failed at acting. He thought that even acknowledging the possibility of failure would lead to it.
 
I don't think she doesn't believe in you. She is just worried, as every mother would be. She cares for you. It's a cruel world and she probably doesn't want you to be disappointed if things don't turn out as you expected.

Keep on going, try to fulfill your dream. But you'll surely need a second pillar. It's difficult to survive in this business. Do yourself a favor and do an apprenticeship or go to university (if you haven't yet). Just in case you need something to fall back on.

I say you can do it! You can make it if you believe in yourself. I know you want your mother's support and I truly believe deep inside she's hoping for your dream to come true. ;)
 
I can relate to you in a way. I am 27 years old. At age 22 I got an associated degree in graphic arts. My mom didn't really support me much then and she doesn't really support me much now.

And well with that college, the classes are not transferable. Now I have to start all over with college. When I was little I wanted to become a paleontologist. My mom once told me, you know it's not worth it, they don't make a lot of money. And for some reason I threw it out the window... but a good friend of mine has opened my eyes. Graphic design is great but it seems boring to me now. I want something more exciting and I want to be happy. I thought about it deeply and it brought me back to my roots. Although instead of paleontology I think being an Archeologist would be cooler. I LOVE Egypt and I want to go there some day. I ALSO LOVE to dance but I never really had the chance to dance in front of people before. I danced at my personal Halloween parties but never really for anything else. - So at age 27 I am just beginning to decide what I want to become in life. I think the secret to being happy is to determine what you want to do AND GO FOR IT. Don't take no for an answer, don't let anyone bring you down, just go for your dreams. If acting makes you happy, then act! Although like other people have said do something for a back up in case acting doesn't turn out. Going to college can NEVER be a bad thing. Perhaps get a business degree? You can always use that.. and maybe you could use it for an acting studio or something. Stay focused, stay true to who you are. Stay confident. Otherwise, your life will lead you no where.
 
I relate to your story so much -- I remember many, many arguments around the dinner table with my parents yelling at me, telling me I should not pursue my artistic dreams. I was around 16-17 years old and discussing college. My goal was (and still is) to write musical theatre, and I wanted to go to an arts school or major in the arts. My dad would sometimes say to me (partly joking, partly not) "I'll come visit you in your box on the street! I hope you get a good location over a heating vent!" :p

Anyway, after high school I did come to New York City and studied music (within a broader liberal arts program) and now I am 26 years old and working in my industry, though it's still taking time to do exactly what I want, writing my own projects. I am working for a major theatre producer, learning as much as I can about the business, and writing musicals and plays in my spare time. It's definitely a lot harder than I thought to "make it" but I've found it is possible to make a living in the arts, and I'm still striving toward my goal.

I have many friends who are theatre actors and I see how hard a life it can be. Some of my friends have performed on Broadway, some in other professional shows, and some are just trying to get their first break. There is a lot of rejection, and even when they do land a gig for a period of time, there is no guarantee that the show will run long enough to become a stable source of income. Also the "day jobs" that they take have to be flexible to allow for voice/dance/acting classes and auditioning, which usually happens during the day. It's tricky to make it all work, and I've known some who have been successes and some who have moved onto other things.

I'm curious what type of acting you are interested in (film, TV, theatre etc) and if you don't mind telling, where you are from and how old you are?

Anyway, here are some bits of advice I have to give, from my perspective:

1) It's never a mistake to get educated in something other than your artistic craft, because I think it will inform your creative work. If I didn't learn about literature and history and different cultures in school, I wouldn't have as much to say in my writing.

2) Make sure you really love DOING your art, not just the trappings that come with it. For example, make sure you really like to perform, to audition, to rehearse, etc. not just the idea of being famous or applauded.

3) Learn as much about the business as you can -- artists with business savvy and the ability to network/make connections often get farther than ones waiting to "be discovered" or have someone take them under their wing completely... plus then when you are a success you will be less likely to be taken advantage of and will understand your own contracts, etc.

4) Go for it and shoot for the stars! You only live once and it's important to use the gifts you've been blessed with. And understand that it's your parents' job to worry about you because they brought you into this world and care about you deeply. Try to understand their side of it and keep yourself safe and out of danger as you pursue your dreams.

Well, I don't mean to sound preachy or anything, but this is something I think about a lot! Feel free to PM me if you want to talk. Best wishes to you as you pursue your dreams!!
 
Don't stop believing but make sure you are multi skilled. I'm a concert photographer and I've taken photos of many great artists but the money you get from them being in the paper once my photo agency gets their bit is not much(especially compared to the travel costs and cost of camera equip) BUT... I love it and have done well so it was worth sticking at - I'm a trained secretary too so I do office temping to make the hard cash. Don't give up on your dream but make sure you have something else to fall back on to make money to pay the rent :) Good luck! x
 
I'm not sure how old you are, but if you're still in school, I would start with being in plays in school. If you're through with school, then audition for plays in the community theater where you are. If it's a musical, then I would prepare a song to sing, because for the most part they'll ask you to sing a song. Being shy doesn't mean you can't act. Look at Michael. He was shy but not on stage. I've always wanted to be a famous actress as well. I listened to my parents and never acted on the dream and now I regret it. I'm married and so the closest things I can come to acting is when I lose the weight I want to, I can audition for plays and I live in a city where they film often so I can apply to be an extra. I'm not sure where you're located, but if it's a place where they film for movies and there are parts to be extra, perhaps you want to try out or apply or whatever. Some extra parts are speaking parts while others aren't.
I would start at a community theater. I found it so fun there. I felt a "high" after acting and it was also fun going to the cast parties.
As for other jobs, you may want to go into retail to make money and save while you pursue your dream. Work at a resturaunt or at a clothing store(where you'll probably make more) . A lot of these actors started out auditioning and at the same time they had to hold a retail job or some kind of job so they can pay their bills and rent.
Whatever you do, please don't give up.
 
basically i think your mom means well, its just that shes worried you might be setting yourself up for a life of disappointment. for every actor who makes it, there are thousands that dont. and its a profession where many are unemployed much of the year so shes worried about how you will support yourself. the way i look at it, there are millions of people who dream about becoming a actor but few make it. but if you believe in yourself enough, build up a steady resume showing various acting jobs and follow your dream
 
MJFan4Eternity said:
Here's my story I'm very shy and very timid but I'm working on it I honestly am. And I know this story is common blah blah. But if someone is willing to listen and give me advice I really Really would appercaite this.Okay so Today me and my mother got into a really bad fight which was mainly about a car.

I wanted a car and she was saying she wouldn't be able to afford the insurance for a new Driver.And then somehow we got on my career. I want to be an actress, It's my passion honestly not to seem like a drama queen but If I don't make it as an actress there's nothing else out there for I'd rather die.

And I understand it's hard and I may try my whole life but there's a chance that I can make it. So anyway My mother tells me that there's people who try their whole lives and never make it. I know I do.And then she goes on to say that acting isn't in my personality because I'm so shy that I'll probably never make it. And basically she doesn't believe I can do it she doesn't just come flat out and say it but she wants me to be realistic and think of something else. And that hurts so much all I want is for her to believe in me for everyone to believe in me. I want her to be the voice in my ear that when I'm having dobuts to push me to never give up, but she's already putting dobuts in my head before I've begun. I mean just IMO when a parent doesn't believe you can make it, it just sets a tone for insecurties your whole life. Because I've seen parents believe without a shadow of dobut they child could be something special.

And I just feel she doesn't think I can do it, that there isn't anything special about me. I really just wish she could be like one of those mother's who would stop at nothing to help there child see that there dreams come true. I mean I know this is hard but I mean I willing to try. She wants me to have a back-up incase it doesn't work out but that only puts in mind that it won't work out. I just want here to say that This will happen even if she's being dellusional I want her to be so dellusional that she's believes in me 100%. I don't think I'm asking to much buy maybe I'm missing something. But I mean I'm already scared and after what happened with my mom I mean I'm scared I'm thinking should I just give up or keep trying no matter what. Can anyone understand what I'm saying I may have just came right over and went straight to venting that I'm rambling.
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Another piece of advice, listen to this song. I always used to. Now that I just did I cried. This will motivate you to keep following your dream:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lj1KM0UY8wE

And I always thought the "you" in the lyrics of referring to family.
 
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