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What are you doing this very second?

Just started watching “Nobody Speak” on Netflix.
 
Just relaxing here downloading stuff for my Sims 4 game. While sadly thinking about what's it going to be again in 3 days. I am so very thankful that I bought the Sims 4 Seasons pack. Because that is definitely going to help take my mind off of what it is going to be in 3 days. Because I am not looking forward to it at all.:(
 
MJsBollywoodGirl7, indeed, it's going to be a sad day. Well, I'm only glad we can also celebrate his birth date on the 29th August, and we'll have a chance to make that day a happy day :) I know it doesn't take the sadness off of the 25th June, but it's important that we keep some happy memories about MJ in my opinion. :)

I made bread, and I'm waiting for the oven to be hot enough so I can cook my bread! :D can't wait to try it, hope it's good! :)
 
MJsBollywoodGirl7 said:
Just relaxing here downloading stuff for my Sims 4 game. While sadly thinking about what's it going to be again in 3 days. I am so very thankful that I bought the Sims 4 Seasons pack. Because that is definitely going to help take my mind off of what it is going to be in 3 days. Because I am not looking forward to it at all.:(
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I don't understand it. So in 25th it will be his death anniversary. But is he alive right now? I think saying that it's gonna be hard day is useless because he is not here today either. If it's hard it should be hard everyday.


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Mogul said:
I don't understand it. So in 25th it will be his death anniversary. But is he alive right now? I think saying that it's gonna be hard day is useless because he is not here today either. If it's hard it should be hard everyday.


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I don't know what you mean by that. But I am still suffering from horrible depression over what happen to me. Not just depression but horrible anxiety and panic attacks as well. And I am still suffering from horrible insomnia and horrible vivid nightmares. All brought on by what happen to him. So because of it my MJ fandom is literally 99.5% gone from me. There is only 2 days out of the entire year that I can barely handle listening to him. And watching him is still practically impossible for me to do. Thankfully I have my obsession over video/computer games to really help me deal with my depression. I seriously don't know what I would have done if I did not have an obsession to both video and computer games. As well as going back to my Christian religion. At least it is way better than being 3 times suicidal. During that first horrible year with out him.



Right now I am just relaxing on my bed. Listening to the newer Creepy pasta stories off of you tube. As I think about that it is 2:51 am. And I am about to download more stuff for my Sims 4 game. So I can hurry up and get back to the game. I really need to get my mind off of Michael right now. Sometimes I still wish now I never became a fan of his. And I been a fan of his since the early 80s.:( :boohoo
 
MJsBollywoodGirl7 said:
I don't know what you mean by that. But I am still suffering from horrible depression over what happen to me. Not just depression but horrible anxiety and panic attacks as well. And I am still suffering from horrible insomnia and horrible vivid nightmares. All brought on by what happen to him. So because of it my MJ fandom is literally 99.5% gone from me. There is only 2 days out of the entire year that I can barely handle listening to him. And watching him is still practically impossible for me to do. Thankfully I have my obsession over video/computer games to really help me deal with my depression. I seriously don't know what I would have done if I did not have an obsession to both video and computer games. As well as going back to my Christian religion. At least it is way better than being 3 times suicidal. During that first horrible year with out him.



Right now I am just relaxing on my bed. Listening to the newer Creepy pasta stories off of you tube. As I think about that it is 2:51 am. And I am about to download more stuff for my Sims 4 game. So I can hurry up and get back to the game. I really need to get my mind off of Michael right now. Sometimes I still wish now I never became a fan of his. And I been a fan of his since the early 80s.:( :boohoo
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You completely ignored my question. I said why do you appreciate him or feel bad about him only on these dates? And we get it you're depressed but i'm really bored of reading your story for the 4th time. As i previously said i think you're overreacting. Everyone dies in this world at some point and it's an incredibly sad thing. But in my honest opinion you're talking about your depression for attention.


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Mogul said:
You completely ignored my question. I said why do you appreciate him or feel bad about him only on these dates? And we get it you're depressed but i'm really bored of reading your story for the 4th time. As i previously said i think you're overreacting. Everyone dies in this world at some point and it's an incredibly sad thing. But in my honest opinion you're talking about your depression for attention.
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It is not just those 2 dates I still think about him every day. When I am at home I constantly always wear a black MJ t-shirt. And 3 MJ necklaces that almost never leaves my neck. I would still literally freak out. If I don't have the MJ HIStory symbol around my neck at all times. It is just that only .5% of my MJ fandom still remains intact. And only on those 2 days I still feel that I should do something MJ related. Unlike the other MJ fans on this site I can no longer handle listening to him every day. And I can't even begin to tell you just how badly I miss listening to him. As well as watching him. And what do you mean my depression is for attention? When we still had him I never not even once had a reason to suffer from depression. I was totally the opposite of how I am now. And who else do I have to talk about my depression. Other besides to other MJ fans who I thought would be more understanding. I can't talk to my friends about it. Since the only friends I have is myself and my 2 cats. I have a family who is very uncaring. In fact I remember my own mother had even threaten me. Not even a month after it happen that I better snap out of my depression or else. It is probably what I get for having an uncaring MJ hating family. And is why I am always force to hide my depression from them. And what hurts even more is my Elvis Presley loving and MJ hating aunt. Who thinks that her beloved Elvis is still alive. Thanks to her 2 sons telling her that he really is. And she told me a couple of times. I guess maybe she wanted to really hurt me. She told me that Michael did something similar that Elvis did. That they both didn't want to be famous anymore. And they hide themselves away from the rest of the world. And that Michael is now living on an island somewhere hiding away from his fans, friends, and family. She is a hater of his. She doesn't know Michael like I do. He would never do anything that would purposefully hurt his fans, friends, and family. Most especially to his 3 kids. And another thing I hate even more is knowing that my 9 and almost 12 year old nephews thinks of me as a mean and nasty aunt. For most of their lives I have suffer from depression. And ever since losing the only person that has ever truly made me the h word. I don't know what it is really like to be that h word without him. And what really hurts knowing the fact. That I am or that I was the only MJ fan in the entire world. That truly had so many things in common with him. Especially our weird connection to the number 7. It is these reasons alone is why I am force to live with my depression now. At least my video/computer games helps to deal with my depression.



Right now I am just relaxing here. As I watch the news. And also go back to my Zelda BOTW game on my Switch.
 
This very second, I'm browsing MJJ community and looking at my MJ Discord, I'm contemplating how I will not procrastinate today and I have my work clothes in the dryer. I hear a lot of happy birds outside and I feel glad that God made them for me to listen to.
 
Mogul said:
You completely ignored my question. I said why do you appreciate him or feel bad about him only on these dates? And we get it you're depressed but i'm really bored of reading your story for the 4th time. As i previously said i think you're overreacting. Everyone dies in this world at some point and it's an incredibly sad thing. But in my honest opinion you're talking about your depression for attention.


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I'm sure Mogul misses Michael, but it's even worse on the anniversary of his death.
 
StageGlitter said:
I'm sure Mogul misses Michael, but it's even worse on the anniversary of his death.
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I miss him everyday an anniversary doesn't change anything to me. Although it's a chance for us fans to remind it to the other people.


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MJsBollywoodGirl7 said:
It is not just those 2 dates I still think about him every day. When I am at home I constantly always wear a black MJ t-shirt. And 3 MJ necklaces that almost never leaves my neck. I would still literally freak out. If I don't have the MJ HIStory symbol around my neck at all times. It is just that only .5% of my MJ fandom still remains intact. And only on those 2 days I still feel that I should do something MJ related. Unlike the other MJ fans on this site I can no longer handle listening to him every day. And I can't even begin to tell you just how badly I miss listening to him. As well as watching him. And what do you mean my depression is for attention? When we still had him I never not even once had a reason to suffer from depression. I was totally the opposite of how I am now. And who else do I have to talk about my depression. Other besides to other MJ fans who I thought would be more understanding. I can't talk to my friends about it. Since the only friends I have is myself and my 2 cats. I have a family who is very uncaring. In fact I remember my own mother had even threaten me. Not even a month after it happen that I better snap out of my depression or else. It is probably what I get for having an uncaring MJ hating family. And is why I am always force to hide my depression from them. And what hurts even more is my Elvis Presley loving and MJ hating aunt. Who thinks that her beloved Elvis is still alive. Thanks to her 2 sons telling her that he really is. And she told me a couple of times. I guess maybe she wanted to really hurt me. She told me that Michael did something similar that Elvis did. That they both didn't want to be famous anymore. And they hide themselves away from the rest of the world. And that Michael is now living on an island somewhere hiding away from his fans, friends, and family. She is a hater of his. She doesn't know Michael like I do. He would never do anything that would purposefully hurt his fans, friends, and family. Most especially to his 3 kids. And another thing I hate even more is knowing that my 9 and almost 12 year old nephews thinks of me as a mean and nasty aunt. For most of their lives I have suffer from depression. And ever since losing the only person that has ever truly made me the h word. I don't know what it is really like to be that h word without him. And what really hurts knowing the fact. That I am or that I was the only MJ fan in the entire world. That truly had so many things in common with him. Especially our weird connection to the number 7. It is these reasons alone is why I am force to live with my depression now. At least my video/computer games helps to deal with my depression.



Right now I am just relaxing here. As I watch the news. And also go back to my Zelda BOTW game on my Switch.
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Look i understand you and i'm actually trying to help you. I think you should stop reacting like this. But this is my 4th time so i give up sorry.


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Just downloaded Pokémon TV app, I can watch any episodes I want now.
 
I am also sadly thinking about him. As I wait for my Sims 4 game to load up. While being so very thankful that I have that game. As well as my other video games to help me get through today. As I try to decide what 7 MJ songs I should listen to. I so totally miss listening to him.:(
 
Just finished watching “Pokémon I Choose You” film, I just can’t help seeing the ending credits showing Ash’s old friends got me teary:cry:or my left eye’s getting itchy which made this way. Most underrated Pokémon film I’ve seen.
 
Watching the new A&E series called “PD Cam” hosted by Sgt. Sean “Sticks” Larkin (Tulsa Police Gang Unit) and “King’s Game” anime.
 
Watching the new A&E series called “PD Cam” hosted by Sgt. Sean “Sticks” Larkin (Tulsa Police Gang Unit) and “King’s Game” anime.
 
Just relaxing here about to go and buy some Eshop Switch games. To hopefully cheer myself up. As I am still very upset over this MJ nightmare I just had. And this is the second one too. I had one the night before which just as upsetting as this one. My depression over him is bad enough as is. I don't need to have these to remind me of that. I still sometimes wonder if it would have been better if I never became an MJ fan.:( :boohoo
 
I’m venting over that idiot on Twitter re. the Bruins, well he had the nerve to piss me off and for that I blocked him. Speed and skill of the hockey game...PAH! That’s boring hockey!
 
Just relaxing here drinking some ice tea. Making some wallpaper and yoga mat sets for my Sims 4 game. As I watch Deadly Women on Investigation Discovery Channel. Waiting for the 48 hours X-Files marathon comes on BBC America.
 
MJsBollywoodGirl7 said:
Just relaxing here drinking some ice tea. Making some wallpaper and yoga mat sets for my Sims 4 game. As I watch Deadly Women on Investigation Discovery Channel. Waiting for the 48 hours X-Files marathon comes on BBC America.
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I love Deadly Women and I love watching Investigation Discovery Channel.
 
Watching “Ghost” on Dailymotion, since YouTube deleted it away. Typical. Now for some MJ Halloween fun!
 
Wondering where the heck the "random thoughts" thread went
 
Just relaxing on my bed. Watching the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey on the movie channel TCM. I just love that movie. While I work on my Sims 4 underground house. For my 2 vampire gothic sisters. As I can't wait to start celebrating Shahrukh Khan's 53rd birthday. At 12 am India Standard Time. For where I live it will be at 2:30 pm today Eastern Standard Time.
 
I'm working on drawing MJ (Loud House style). I maybe the first to draw him in that style.
 
Listening to christina aguilera's song ''maria'' and checking out mjjc
 
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