Why is this getting harder for me?

[Witty_Young_Thing]

It's such a beautiful day outside. There isn't a cloud in the sky, but I just keep thinking about how Michael isn't here. I could never have imagined this. I swear, it's like my stomach is ripped out on a daily basis. That's the sensation I get when I remember he's gone. I fight back tears and I'm never one to cry. It's like music just simply will never be the same. There's just an aching emptiness every time I listen to the radio knowing he's not here. There's no one who can come close to him. No Beyonce, no Britney, no Timberlake. Nobody. It's so hard. It's like losing the stone from your engagement ring and looking down at the gold plate that's left and being expected to feel the same sense of joy. I can't. The world is seriously not the same. I could never have possibly imagined how much he meant to me and how much joy he brought me on a daily basis knowing his presence was on this earth.

It's getting harder for me. When he first passed, people were realizing the impact he had. His music was played everywhere. TV flooded with him. People stood back and appreciated him, if not for a fleeting moment. Now people are starting to get over it and are sick of hearing about him. Eventually he will fade out and it's not like he will be around to up my spirit with a new news headline about a tour or a new video or whatever. His presence will start to dwindle from the media and from everyone but the fans and I just never want him to disappear. I honestly can't imagine a world without Michael Jackson and I'm living in one!

It's not only that, but it is the MJ bashing that is eating me alive. I cannot stand the masses that do not know the truth about him. I despise that there is no fair commentary or objective documentaries aired more than ever before. I hate how the media drive the masses into hating him and I hate that truthfully, I cannot blame them for eating it up! If I wasn't big enough a fan to do my own research I would probably believe it too. There’s just sooo much negative vs. positive. It’s an impossible situation. I feel like there's no winning. I cannot stand that he has been slandered to death, excuse the pun. How can someone as beautiful as Michael be portrayed as a monster and WHY do they keep doing it! I do not want to have to defend him for the rest of my life! Can’t the truth just be told?

 

[krism]

hi, i understand where you're coming from. there are a lot of people out there that are hurting at the moment and its not made any easier by relentness media scrunity and attacks. its not just the media either. the michael jackson fan community is in freefall. some fans have committed suicide, others are wanting to die, others just dont care anymore. and fans are slowly turning on other fans. its clearly a testing time and clearly not everyone is going to get through it. my advice see a doctor or health professional and tell them how you are feeling. often by talking to a trained health professional it can make the world of difference. also when you feel like crying, cry. bottling up emotions is usually never a good thing. also limit the exposure to media. i understand that everyone wants to know what really happened but it can be a two-sided sword because to know you have to sit through countless hours of crap of people just saying whatever they want and repeating negative reports. i believe as a fan community we will get through this. that which doesnt destroy us only makes us stronger. it might be just a saying to many but at this difficult time i think its more important than ever to cling to our beliefs as fans and what we know to be true. *hugs*

 

[D.S]

Today i went into the park and retreated to a corner. After listening to music for about 5mins it all came back again. I was doing relatively well recently, you know, listening to him and just reminiscing. Sure i was sad, but now i've hit rock bottom all over again. This grieving process sure likes to fool with us in unforgiving ways.
I miss him so much it hurts.

 

[StaceyMJ]

I know. And I understand. I wish I could comfort you and everyone here, I'd really like to do that but I know there is no comfort. It's hard to find it anywhere. Everything seems so dark and cold. I can't see a way forward. I'm hoping things will fall into place but it's hard to see how.
Please keep your chin up, as hard as that is. *hugs*

 

[daydreambeliever]

Witty_young_thing, I understand how you feel. When a person you loves dies, it's always difficult and hurting to see that the world just goes on as it usually did and that it sometimes even expects you to do so as well, although for yourself the world is still standing still and you just can't go on.
I think that's the point when you feel most lonely.

Maybe you should avoid the media. The media simply don't care about people and those, who believe what the media say without ever doubting it, don't really think about it, for they just want to be entertained with some scandals.
If one's really interested in a person, one doesn't just believe a story full of rhetorical tricks like "a friend of him says...", "apparantly..." or nasty questions that implicate an answer in a negative sense.
So those who've never even watched an interview of Michael himself but judge him anyway, have nothing to do with how he stays alive in the hearts of people, because they didn't even try to see him with their heart.
But those who did see him with their heart, they love him. And these are the people, who won't let him disappear, even though he's not physically here anymore.

I don't say that it's ok for people to spread lies, but now Michael's at least safe from getting hurt by that. So the only thing that counts is the people who think about him with love in their hearts. If a friend or family member dies, you won't say "I loved him/ her, but what about all those who didn't love him, because they didn't even know him?"

If you can't stand seeing what's going on in the media, then simply avoid it. That's what I do, too, but that doesn't mean that I forgot about Michael. I'm still grieving and I listen to his music every day and spend some time watching videos at youtube, and in the meantime, I try to do a little bit to help other people, like he always did (even though I of course can only do very little), because that was what he wanted us to learn from his music, words and way of living, and having succeeded in that, he can never ever be forgotten. For people carrying on his message and for people who think of him with love in their hearts.

I give you a hug...

 

[Fluffy_Oz]

Witty_young_thing, I understand how you feel. When a person you loves dies, it's always difficult and hurting to see that the world just goes on as it usually did and that it sometimes even expects you to do so as well, although for yourself the world is still standing still and you just can't go on.
I think that's the point when you feel most lonely.

Maybe you should avoid the media. The media simply don't care about people and those, who believe what the media say without ever doubting it, don't really think about it, for they just want to be entertained with some scandals.
If one's really interested in a person, one doesn't just believe a story full of rhetorical tricks like "a friend of him says...", "apparantly..." or nasty questions that implicate an answer in a negative sense.
So those who've never even watched an interview of Michael himself but judge him anyway, have nothing to do with how he stays alive in the hearts of people, because they didn't even try to see him with their heart.
But those who did see him with their heart, they love him. And these are the people, who won't let him disappear, even though he's not physically here anymore.

I don't say that it's ok for people to spread lies, but now Michael's at least safe from getting hurt by that. So the only thing that counts is the people who think about him with love in their hearts. If a friend or family member dies, you won't say "I loved him/ her, but what about all those who didn't love him, because they didn't even know him?"

If you can't stand seeing what's going on in the media, then simply avoid it. That's what I do, too, but that doesn't mean that I forgot about Michael. I'm still grieving and I listen to his music every day and spend some time watching videos at youtube, and in the meantime, I try to do a little bit to help other people, like he always did (even though I of course can only do very little), because that was what he wanted us to learn from his music, words and way of living, and having succeeded in that, he can never ever be forgotten. For people carrying on his message and for people who think of him with love in their hearts.

I give you a hug...

THAT right there is one of the most meaningful and beautiful things I've read in a while. I know it wasn't directed at me, but it helped me a lot - reading this now...
Thank you, I really needed something that made sense and this did like not much else!:flowers:

 

[Witty_Young_Thing]

Thank you guys. You have all really helped me feel a little better. Hugs to you all xoxox