^ Me too! The prayer circle.
So... just watched all that coverage of Murray.... was on TwitterFeel pretty wrung out at this point.... If you guys need to smile again, watch this because it's really cute & made me laugh:
me and my boyfriend watched it the other day, :lmao: this guy is crazy 
Ohh...
^ Me too! The prayer circle.
So... just watched all that coverage of Murray.... was on Twitter
 
 
Ohh...
I'm a total mess now. I got to page 15. I don't know how. Omg, :boohoo: Michael, I love you so much... :angel:
Ok, so I found that if you think you're tough and can somehow handle the coroner's report... you might be wrong.
On a shelf over my television is my HTW poster I made for his birthday this past August. Leaning against it is a sparkly golden butterfly that I found this Christmas. I've never told you guys about the gold butterfly (not the actual butterfly that showed up in October when I thought I was going to die -- I shared that story in another thread), but something that happened in August. Anyway, maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right, but to me the metallic sparkle gold butterfly is something special about Michael. So I'm sitting here feeling sick and just dead inside after forcing myself through the first part of the autopsy report and I'm thinking, "Oh, Michael...." and such and I have the thought "Oh, nevermind, I'm sure you're needed in so many places right now. I know you're not with me. That's fine. Others may need you more." And then the butterfly fell down off the shelf and onto the back of the TV. It's fallen before... I found it on the floor some days ago in the morning, but... I know it probably just fell, but... I don't know...
Ok, so I found that if you think you're tough and can somehow handle the coroner's report... you might be wrong.
On a shelf over my television is my HTW poster I made for his birthday this past August. Leaning against it is a sparkly golden butterfly that I found this Christmas. I've never told you guys about the gold butterfly (not the actual butterfly that showed up in October when I thought I was going to die -- I shared that story in another thread), but something that happened in August. Anyway, maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right, but to me the metallic sparkle gold butterfly is something special about Michael. So I'm sitting here feeling sick and just dead inside after forcing myself through the first part of the autopsy report and I'm thinking, "Oh, Michael...." and such and crying and I have the thought "Oh, nevermind, I'm sure you're needed in so many places right now. I know you're not with me. That's fine. Others may need you more." And then across the room the butterfly fell down off the shelf and onto the back of the TV. It's fallen before... I found it on the floor some days ago in the morning ... I know it probably just fell by laws of gravity and the fact that it was up there somewhat precariously, but... I don't know... if I need Michael at this moment, can I pretend it was him?
Ok, so I found that if you think you're tough and can somehow handle the coroner's report... you might be wrong.
On a shelf over my television is my HTW poster I made for his birthday this past August. Leaning against it is a sparkly golden butterfly that I found this Christmas. I've never told you guys about the gold butterfly (not the actual butterfly that showed up in October when I thought I was going to die -- I shared that story in another thread), but something that happened in August. Anyway, maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right, but to me the metallic sparkle gold butterfly is something special about Michael. So I'm sitting here feeling sick and just dead inside after forcing myself through the first part of the autopsy report and I'm thinking, "Oh, Michael...." and such and crying and I have the thought "Oh, nevermind, I'm sure you're needed in so many places right now. I know you're not with me. That's fine. Others may need you more." And then across the room the butterfly fell down off the shelf and onto the back of the TV. It's fallen before... I found it on the floor some days ago in the morning ... I know it probably just fell by laws of gravity and the fact that it was up there somewhat precariously, but... I don't know... if I need Michael at this moment, can I pretend it was him?
Oh God...I just read through it myself...and...ugh. Every time I went to the next page I just couldn't believe I was seeing "Michael Joseph Jackson" in the top right corner.Ok, so I found that if you think you're tough and can somehow handle the coroner's report... you might be wrong.
Honestly I feel bad that I even read the thing...what an invasion of his privacy. I'm sorry Michael. Would it be so bad to save one page from the report...that states he had vitiligo...and put it on my website? Part of my site is separating fact from fiction... I think it would be good for people to see official PROOF on that part...but...I dunno. I feel weird about it...Aw...:angel: :huggy:mjbunny said:....and I'm thinking, "Oh, Michael...." and such and crying and I have the thought "Oh, nevermind, I'm sure you're needed in so many places right now. I know you're not with me. That's fine. Others may need you more." And then across the room the butterfly fell down off the shelf and onto the back of the TV. It's fallen before... I found it on the floor some days ago in the morning ... I know it probably just fell by laws of gravity and the fact that it was up there somewhat precariously, but... I don't know... if I need Michael at this moment, can I pretend it was him?
Oh man...I just read it too and MY GOODNESS. I just can't even describe what I'm feeling now.Oh God...I just read through it myself...and...ugh. Every time I went to the next page I just couldn't believe I was seeing "Michael Joseph Jackson" in the top right corner.
It's so so so hard to read his name on it and realizing it's really him they're describing. It feels indeed bad to read it and so extremely unfair....I feel SO sorry for Michael. Damn, why did they do all that to him...why?! Really, if there's one thing I will never understand or be able to accept it's how everyone made his life like hell. :boohoo: How can you do that, such a wonderful person...I just...argh.Aw...man...wonderful. :boohoo: Thanks for sharing.Ok, so I found that if you think you're tough and can somehow handle the coroner's report... you might be wrong.
On a shelf over my television is my HTW poster I made for his birthday this past August. Leaning against it is a sparkly golden butterfly that I found this Christmas. I've never told you guys about the gold butterfly (not the actual butterfly that showed up in October when I thought I was going to die -- I shared that story in another thread), but something that happened in August. Anyway, maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right, but to me the metallic sparkle gold butterfly is something special about Michael. So I'm sitting here feeling sick and just dead inside after forcing myself through the first part of the autopsy report and I'm thinking, "Oh, Michael...." and such and crying and I have the thought "Oh, nevermind, I'm sure you're needed in so many places right now. I know you're not with me. That's fine. Others may need you more." And then across the room the butterfly fell down off the shelf and onto the back of the TV. It's fallen before... I found it on the floor some days ago in the morning ... I know it probably just fell by laws of gravity and the fact that it was up there somewhat precariously, but... I don't know... if I need Michael at this moment, can I pretend it was him?
Well, later I went back to it and sat here and read the entire thing.Oh God...I just read through it myself...and...ugh. Every time I went to the next page I just couldn't believe I was seeing "Michael Joseph Jackson" in the top right corner.
The first third just... omg... seeing his name, knowing it was him, it was just so painful. God. :boohoo: A real nightmare. I never thought I'd be reading something like that about someone I loved. (Well, or anyone, I guess.) After the worst parts were over I got a bit more detached and made it through like that. Thanks (or no thanks?) to my own body, I'm quite experienced at reading things like lab and pathology reports :smilerolleyes:, so I just tried to read it like something of mine. I also said often, "I'm sorry, Michael". I know he wouldn't have wanted us reading it. First there's the privacy issue (!) and that would've been a BIG one. And then how he wouldn't want us to remember him like that and wouldn't want us to feel so torn up and crying and devastated all over again. But I also think he probably understands from over there that we just want to know what happened... how this could happen! In near-death experiences people always report feeling so detached about the fate of their bodies. I hope that's true. I mainly read the report because I was hoping to find something about the estimated actual TOD, but it didn't say anything. Amygrace, I don't think it's too weird to use one page with just the part about Vitiligo highlighted or shown. I mean, considering what your site is about. But that's just my opinion.Ugh I know. It's most upsetting...heartbreaking...just awful. I don't know that I'll ever really understand it either. I remember when it was a few weeks after he had died and I was first 'discovering' the real him...it was like this huge double whammy to the heart. First I saw how BEAUTIFUL his soul was...more beautiful and full of love than anyone else I have come across... and then next was the realization of what he went through...this beautiful soul...the pain...the crucifixion by our society. Omg how painful. Poor Michael. Just...
I get through by thinking about how it must be wonderful for him now though, to be able to be seen for who he really is on the other side. All that gets to me. I think Michael would be one to feel detached about his body...(come to think of it I remember Bonnie channeling some info like that...) but yet I can just see Michael standing on the side saying to his fans "please don't read that! please don't!" but his voice isn't heard. And then he sees us devastate ourselves all over again. I too hope he understands that we are just trying to figure out what happened.mjbunny said:
Ok, so I found that if you think you're tough and can somehow handle the coroner's report... you might be wrong.
On a shelf over my television is my HTW poster I made for his birthday this past August. Leaning against it is a sparkly golden butterfly that I found this Christmas. I've never told you guys about the gold butterfly (not the actual butterfly that showed up in October when I thought I was going to die -- I shared that story in another thread), but something that happened in August. Anyway, maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right, but to me the metallic sparkle gold butterfly is something special about Michael. So I'm sitting here feeling sick and just dead inside after forcing myself through the first part of the autopsy report and I'm thinking, "Oh, Michael...." and such and crying and I have the thought "Oh, nevermind, I'm sure you're needed in so many places right now. I know you're not with me. That's fine. Others may need you more." And then across the room the butterfly fell down off the shelf and onto the back of the TV. It's fallen before... I found it on the floor some days ago in the morning ... I know it probably just fell by laws of gravity and the fact that it was up there somewhat precariously, but... I don't know... if I need Michael at this moment, can I pretend it was him?
Yeah...know what you mean, good wording! It's so hard to believe there are people here that are so evil that they just wanted to humiliate him, get rid of him...my goodness. All I can think of when I realize that is 'I should've saved him, I needed to put him in my arms and run far away as fast as I could'...if only I could've done that, it makes me feel so powerless.Ugh I know. It's most upsetting...heartbreaking...just awful. I don't know that I'll ever really understand it either. I remember when it was a few weeks after he had died and I was first 'discovering' the real him...it was like this huge double whammy to the heart. First I saw how BEAUTIFUL his soul was...more beautiful and full of love than anyone else I have come across... and then next was the realization of what he went through...this beautiful soul...the pain...the crucifixion by our society. Omg how painful. Poor Michael. Just...
That's what I thought too....as if my whole vision on the world got blurred for a while watching that court thing and reading the report. So strange...I felt so bad for Michael but I indeed think he understands us..we only read because we care..he knows the truth...I hope.
But I feel a bit like I'm being watched or something while I'm open to tell my stories and feelings here. Guess I need to remind myself that this is a public forum...hehe.