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Dating Within the MJ Community

EDIT: Accidental double post, please delete (Ugh, I've never done this before, lol)
 
Nope I couldn't be with anyone who doesn't support my appreciation for m so yes this will be the route for me from now on ,,best off sticking together.
I'd really love to be with someone who loves m as much as I do
Hi sonny ? I kid I kid (I wish)
 
At the moment there's a guy who wants to be with me and he knows I'm a mj fan but he's not. I'm not sure if he will like my dedication to Michael cuz I'm a mj fan 4 life and that will never end but I'm wondering if he could "THE ONE". I'm 31 and haven't been in a relationship since I was like 16 (yes I know wtf) but I'm bit of a complicated person who has to deal with lots problems and I'm not like most girls who wanna go out to clubs or drink alcohol etc. I just want a stable relationship with someone who won't treat me like some slut & be with me through thick and thin no matter what struggles I face everyday. I'm just feeling scared bout it and don't know what to do
 
Here's essentially the way I see dating in the 'MJ Community': I find a girl who LOVES MJ like me? YAY Great! But I'm not going to limit myself down to girls who are fans of MJ. As long as they respect him and the fact I'm a huge fan, that's really good enough for me. There's so much more to me as a person than my love for Michael Jackson and my life doesn't revolve around him anywhere near enough to impact my love life.

I feel if you try to limit yourself to other hardcore MJ fans, you could potentially be cutting out a lot of great guys/girls who are happy to put up with MJ simply because they find you to be an amazing person. You know, your SO is going to have interests you don't care about but you'll put up with it and respect it because you love them. In a healthy relationship, the same will be vice versa.

8701girl said:
At the moment there's a guy who wants to be with me and he knows I'm a mj fan but he's not. I'm not sure if he will like my dedication to Michael cuz I'm a mj fan 4 life and that will never end but I'm wondering if he could "THE ONE". I'm 31 and haven't been in a relationship since I was like 16 (yes I know wtf) but I'm bit of a complicated person who has to deal with lots problems and I'm not like most girls who wanna go out to clubs or drink alcohol etc. I just want a stable relationship with someone who won't treat me like some slut & be with me through thick and thin no matter what struggles I face everyday. I'm just feeling scared bout it and don't know what to do
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Take MJ out of the equation and what do you think about him? Like I said above, I personally feel that as long as they respect your love for MJ then whether they like MJ shouldn't really be in the equation. You're going to love things he won't be into and he should respect that, just like you should respect things he's passionate about but you're not.

If he really wants to be with you, he will respect your love for MJ and not pressure you into doing things you don't want to do. If you feel he could be 'the one', I say go for it :)
 
Thanks I have been distant lately with him Cuz he's been moving too fast with us like calling me baby when we ain't even officially dating yet. My mum & friends say I should stay clear from him Cuz they think he sounds like he's only after "one thing"..... Idk what to think
 
8701girl said:
Thanks I have been distant lately with him Cuz he's been moving too fast with us like calling me baby when we ain't even officially dating yet. My mum & friends say I should stay clear from him Cuz they think he sounds like he's only after "one thing"..... Idk what to think
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Well I mean, I (obviously) don't know the guy well enough to comment so yeah. All I can really say is best of luck to you, no matter which way it goes :)
 
My wife is a huge fan! I meet her in a MJ's party in 2007.
Our dog is named "MJ"
 
As a male in Melbourne, Australia. I've always wanted to date a REAL MJ fan. They are hard to find.
 
I don't date because I only want Michael

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I've never dated a person that would be an MJ fan. In fact, I don't demand it from a potential partner.

I only know that I couldn't date a person that would hate Michael, that's for sure :p
 
I have thought more about this and here's my stance:

As much as I love MJ, I see a few problems with dating someone from the fans community. Here's why:

1) Throughout my fan life, I have come across several people that, despite loving MJ even more than I do, were not the people I'd love to hang out with because of their personal traits. They were selfish, unkind, self-centred, etc. The fact that someone is a fan doesn't mean they are the person you'll want to stay with for a few hours, let alone the rest of your life.

2) Although I love MJ very much, I wouldn't want to date someone who keeps michaeling 24/7. I don't do that either. I have some hobbies, I go to university, I try to make a career. I need someone who would broaden my horizons and with whom I could discuss things that affect my life. It would be hard if our only common interest was MJ.

3) Some things around MJ have been frustrating (trials, death and so forth) and at times, I just needed to completely withdraw and focus on something else. If I want to distance myself from anything MJ related for a while, I won't listen to his music, I won't log in here, etc., etc. With another fan sharing intimacies with me, it would be more difficult.

Now, I'm not saying I wouldn't want to date anyone from the fanbase. I would just to make sure we would get along well. I have been through a few difficult relationships and I don't want to make the same mistakes again.
 
Funny, everbody I'm seriously interested in (i.e. very good friends or my partner) totally "get" MJ - they may not be huge fans, but they have a respectful view and readily acknowledge him as the great man he was/is.
 
I can hardly imagine I can date any MJ fan. First because I don't go to some MJ-related gatherings like fan gatherings, tribute shows and so on, I hang only online. I would say I wouldn't want to date any MJ male fan as I won't get along with them due to experience I got from trying to talk to some MJ male fans online at some sites or by mail. One was completely crazy, the other one judged me too hard, some were disabled and their only dream was to meet MJ and not to meet women. I gave up on that. Tried to find a kindred soul with hope there might be more, but came to the conclusion that it is better to stay away from male MJ fans as far as possible. Though I get along well with female MJ fans, some were very nice and helpful with finding out adress to send a letter to, though some were also completely crazy, though I don't blame them.
 
At the moment, I'm in a somewhat complicated relationship with someone. He's not an MJ fan, but he knows I am and he's OK with it. We mostly listen to different music, but there are still some overlappings.
 
It's better not to date someone within the community... you may think the love for MJ is a similarity that would bring you together but all it becomes A layer of the relationship that makes you overlook so many otherdifferences that could start friction later.. I would say do not date someone in the community because they are a fan,if you can minus out the fandom and still have that special connection… that great, good luck!
 
FullLipsDotNose said:
I've never dated a person that would be an MJ fan. In fact, I don't demand it from a potential partner.

I only know that I couldn't date a person that would hate Michael, that's for sure :p
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I agree. He doesn't have to be a MJ fan, he just needs to at least respect him. :)
 
I've never dated an MJ fan. I've been in a relationship for a few years now and they love how I feel towards Michael. My partner isn't an actual fan but enjoys his music and has a lot of respect for him so that makes me happy.
 
The situation from the original post is very similar to my own situation! Significant other does not understand obsession with MJ = me sitting on couch alone screaming lyrics while watching his concerts while significant other plays Final Fantasy online. xD I have NEVER met another Moonwalker where I currently live, so it gets pretty frustrating because all of the FEELINGS come out constantly! It does sting quite a bit when they don't get it AND don't WANT TO get it. :/ What's a girl to do?
 
cmstrike said:
When I was trying a dating site a while back, I'd try to search for girls who were Michael fans but nothing ever came of that. Maybe we just need a Michael Jackson dating site.
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if anyone does, please make it inclusive of LGBTQ+ ^_^ (like, please don't make the only gender options "woman" and "man", tho that's still better than "male/female" lol)
 
I would appreciate just having someone/s I can be close to in romantic and/or sexual ways who accepts me for me and doesn't mind when I go on a neurodivegent info dump about Michael.

My friends that really know me are aware and they respect Michael as any other person that they don't really know. They get that I strongly identify with his "eccentricities", but I think that's about as far as it goes with them understanding, which I am grateful for still.

But yeah, my love for Michael is partly because of how much of myself I see in him and identify with a lot of his "quirks" as I have my own so I also find it hard to find people who appreciate me for me who aren't trying to get something selfish out of it (I don't have billions of dollars, but I'm a deeply compassionate and affectionate individual who has been taken advantage of earlier on in life).

I think while the MJ fam is vast and has all kinds of people in it, one thing for sure is that it probably has a much higher percentage of people who are:
1) at least slightly less quick to judge "quirks" and
2) hopefully a little more open to believing that someone really can just have relatively pure intentions all the time,
which are 2 things that are so rare for me to find in others.

A lot of people thought it was cute and didn't mind when I was 10 and dressing/singing/dancing like Michael, but trying to broach the subject of being an adorer of MJ with my own slightly more toned-down style with newer connections (especially in potential romantic/sexual relationships) feels... so hard, not knowing what the other person will think of you, but I believe people's reactions to just mentioning him is a great litmus test for:
- willingness to believe lies about people you've heard not from them or not been verified?
- willingness to believe negative things about a famous Black or Brown person?
- willingness to believe someone when they say they have a medical condition or a medical reason to not do something the way you'd like them to?
- willingness to believe someone can/can't be gay/bi/trans/etc because of (insert random rumor or fact you know about them here)?

Being a part of the LGBTQ+ community, among other marginalized identities, its hard enough out there without the "chasers" and sexualizers and other actually predatory people.
 
Interesting topic, I have made bad experiences with dating an MJ fan, but...well šŸ˜…

Graynbow said:
But yeah, my love for Michael is partly because of how much of myself I see in him and identify with a lot of his "quirks" as I have my own (...)
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Interesting quote, because same, same. I find many things he did/said/etc. normal and many things "normal" people do weird.

But I think it's important not to judge and to accept anyone for what he/she/... is. Or at least tolerate people... I always try to live my life how I want it and I also want everyone else to live their lifes how they want it. Who am I to judge? As long as you don't affect someone else's life in a negative way, you do you. I wish more people would understand that... but I guess it is easier to pick on other people than taking care of their own problems.
 
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