Any anxiety/depression sufferers here?

Do you suffer from anxiety/depression?

  • no

    Votes: 21 17.2%
  • yes

    Votes: 101 82.8%

  • Total voters
    122

DancingMjsdream

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Are you sure your therapist is good? Has there been any kind of improvement since you have had therapy? If not than I don't think he or she helped you at all. It's been years since MJ's death and your symtomps haven't got better.

I believe you when you say it is too hard not to have these thoughts (as someone who struggels with OCD) but it does not help to watch revenge movies and fantasize about killing someone. And it certainly does not help to visit a forum which is all about MJ just to complain about your life. People come here because they love him and it's sad to read that anybody could have a miserable life just because of him.He was human after all,not a god. I know you miss being an MJ fan,but it's important that you deal with his death and accept that you cannot do anything about it.He has lived his life, he died too soon but
at least he had three wonderful children and knew that he was still loved and welcomed for a comeback.

It's time that you do something about it. Or do you want to spend the rest of your life like this?
Don't just look for replacements. Confront your fears and problems and have somebody who supports you.
 

KOPV

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Death is not an easy thing to deal with when it's someone we care about.. It's not something I personally like thinking about BUT.. All who we love (and ourselves) will pass away.. We have to grasp this, and understand we will all one not be here - to process life and the pain that death leaves behind is important.

Don't take this lightly, if processing death of a stranger (Michael - who we can love from a distance) can have such a huge impact how would that individual internalize a death of a family member.. I believe for many Michael passing killed the fantasy that was the icon - not just the person.. If we can understand that the icon, the image, the fantasy still lives on.. (And not just a hokey comment by me) we can grasp things a piece at a time!

For those who are still struggling with this, (which I'm sure we are all in some regard) don't try tackling it all at once, it is a huge undertaking that the mind cannot do all at once.. maybe first grasp the fact that he was a human that was destined to pass away like the rest of us. He was not an entity - though he often seamed like one.. It may help grasp this also by knowing that Michael was in pain, he even feared growing old, think of how hurt and struggling was when he was alive... What I am trying to say is, he is no longer (no matter what belief you have) fearing for his life anymore...

The art continues... His hope was to create things that will live forever, HE DID THAT! his music, his art, everything he left behind will be here after each of us have passed on.. He really does live in each person (even non fans) the impact he had changed popular culture in ways that most do not grasp.. Really give that thought, in that way he is more alive than many of the 'living' today..

allow yourself to focus on yourself, your health, your joys.. Don't live in the sadness your mind traps you in.. THAT is not living! healing is found in optimism, laughter, and in the glory that we call imagination.. plants really do grow healthier with music, even the smallest organisms dance to rhythms, and humans are not the only living creatures that laugh...
 

MJsBollywoodGirl7

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Are you sure your therapist is good? Has there been any kind of improvement since you have had therapy? If not than I don't think he or she helped you at all. It's been years since MJ's death and your symtomps haven't got better.

I believe you when you say it is too hard not to have these thoughts (as someone who struggels with OCD) but it does not help to watch revenge movies and fantasize about killing someone. And it certainly does not help to visit a forum which is all about MJ just to complain about your life. People come here because they love him and it's sad to read that anybody could have a miserable life just because of him.He was human after all,not a god. I know you miss being an MJ fan,but it's important that you deal with his death and accept that you cannot do anything about it.He has lived his life, he died too soon but
at least he had three wonderful children and knew that he was still loved and welcomed for a comeback.

It's time that you do something about it. Or do you want to spend the rest of your life like this?
Don't just look for replacements. Confront your fears and problems and have somebody who supports you.

That is easy enough for you to say. You probably have friends and family that supports you. Where I don't have that at all. The only friends I have in my life is me, my stuff animals, and the Sims in my Sims games. And then there is my family who is nothing more than a big fcking joke. Which is what I get to have MJ haters in my family. Like these 2 for an instance. My aunt who loves Elvis the way that I had loved Michael. She has always hated Michael Jackson. Just like I have always hated Elvis Presley. I don't get to see her too often. Maybe at the most once or twice a year. Since she lives a good several hours away from me. But I remember the first time I saw her after what had happen to Michael. Despite her hatred of him. I still was going to ask her how she had dealt with what happen to Elvis. But I never did asked her. Since it turns out she totally believes that Elvis is still very much alive. Thanks to her oldest son telling her so. And I remember her hurting me very bad though she probably didn't know that she did. That she told me the same about Michael about he is hiding somewhere on an island. Because he wanted to be away from everybody. Of course I looked at her as if she was absolutely insane. Because she doesn't know Michael the way that I know him. And why the hell would he hurt not only his fans but his kids as well. By faking his own d word. My aunt who is in her 70s now is not exactly all there in the head. And let me tell you about my MJ hating mother she has never once been very understanding. Nor did she ever once showed a single ounce of compassion and sympathy of what it has been like for me. I can't seem to get it through that very thick skull of hers. Of why I need things like video and computer games now. When she doesn't seem to get that all the years when we still had him. I never once show much interest in the video and computer games. Except for the Sims 2 game that was the only game I had like an obsession for. Back when we still had him. What other game can you make yourself in to a sim. And have that sim be married to a sim that looks like MJ. But other than that I was more in to books and being an MJ fan than playing video and computer games. I can still remember when the Nintendo Wii came out. I totally vow never to get one because of the news stories I had been hearing about them. I also didn't have any interest in getting a Nintendo ds either when that first came out. Now ever since what happen to Michael. Not only do I have a Nintendo Wii but I also have a Gameboy Advance sp, Nintendo ds, a 3ds, 3ds xl, a Nintendo Wii U, an iPad mini 3, and a Kindle Fire hd. I also spent over a 1,000 dollars on one of the top of the lines gaming laptops. So I can really play my computer games on it. And also hopefully sometime in the next month or so I will finally have my Nintendo Switch. And I can tell you right now if we still had him I would never have gotten any of that stuff. Playing video and computer games is the only way I can deal with my depression. I really can't rely on the Bollywood movies like I used to. Not when the most recent ones are going to keep having MJ related scenes in them now. Something I realized over 3 hours ago. After getting done watching my Raees movie dvd. One of the very best Shahrukh Khan movies ever made. And I didn't know there was an MJ related scene in that movie. If I had known I would have never gotten the movie. Despite the 10 months I had waited to see that movie. Thank god I was able to quickly fast forward that MJ scene on my portable dvd player. Before one of my panic attacks started for me. I tend to have horrible panic attacks now. If I so much as to try to watch or listen to something that is MJ related. And I know that is what I have. Because I had them before back when we still had him. But it was never with him it was with my apiphobia. Which is the fear of bees, wasps, hornets, and yellow jackets. Well bees mostly. Over 20 years ago I was horrible stung in my one hand by a bee. Which cause me to remain in pain for 3 days. And since then I had this phobia of bees or any insect like them. That phobia is no longer as bad as it used to be. But now it just plainly hurts like beyond hell. Knowing that I suffer from panic attacks now just from trying to watch or listen to something MJ related.:(:boohoo
 

DancingMjsdream

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No my family does not support me at all, only my sister. And i don't really have friends. But I'm sure there can be someone who can support you. In your case it could be a good therapist who understand your problems.

You have panic attacks when you watch MJ related stuff, so now you don't watch them anymore and the panic attacks are getting worse and not better as time passes? I believe that you have probably developped an anxiety disorder which gets worse because you run away from it. It's the same with my OCD, I am scared of certain situations or thoughts and so I run away from them to not experience these horrible feelings. But the fear manifests itself. Whenever you're in that situation your body gives you the symptoms you've described. I know it's hard but the only way to stop it is to confront the fears,not run away from them and look for replacements - It will help you for a short time but not forever. There are special therapies for people who are afraid of specific situations, they learn to control their emotions and see that there is no reason to be afraid.

Do you still live with your family? If so,your entire environment is not healthy for you if they are MJ haters and don't care about your problems.
 

MJsBollywoodGirl7

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No my family does not support me at all, only my sister. And i don't really have friends. But I'm sure there can be someone who can support you. In your case it could be a good therapist who understand your problems.

You have panic attacks when you watch MJ related stuff, so now you don't watch them anymore and the panic attacks are getting worse and not better as time passes? I believe that you have probably developped an anxiety disorder which gets worse because you run away from it. It's the same with my OCD, I am scared of certain situations or thoughts and so I run away from them to not experience these horrible feelings. But the fear manifests itself. Whenever you're in that situation your body gives you the symptoms you've described. I know it's hard but the only way to stop it is to confront the fears,not run away from them and look for replacements - It will help you for a short time but not forever. There are special therapies for people who are afraid of specific situations, they learn to control their emotions and see that there is no reason to be afraid.

Do you still live with your family? If so,your entire environment is not healthy for you if they are MJ haters and don't care about your problems.

Let me tell you something I remember back after I had ordered Bad 25 off the internet. And after finally getting it in the mail. I was so good and ready to watch that Wembley Concert that night. Because out of all the concerts Michael had done over the years. It was the Bad Wembley Concert I had so badly been wanting to see the most. Because that was the concert where Michael had perform Dirty Diana. So I decided to go get myself all clean up. Like I always did before I start one of my MJ nights. Back when we still had him. I used to always take a shower then I will spend a good few hours nearly every single night watching and listening to him. Any way I put that concert in my computer to watch it. I put on the Dirty Diana performance first. Since I just could not wait any longer to see it. Then I will watch the rest of the concert after that. Well I only got to enjoy about half of that performance. Was when I so very suddenly started to get one of my first panic attacks. And I know that what it was. Cause like I had said I had them before from my phobia of bees. That panic attack I was having was so bad. That it made me shut that concert off. And my planned MJ night was totally over for me. It took me nearly an hour until I had finally gotten over that panic attack. And I can't tell you how many times I had tried to watch Michael after that incident. And each and every single time it just ended up with me having another panic attack. Which is why I had turn to Shahrukh Khan. Who is the King Of Bollywood. When I watch Shahrukh I am totally back to feeling the way I was when I used to watch MJ. When I see Shahrukh dancing either in his movies or any of his live performances. It is almost like watching Michael again with his dancing. And there is one great thing about the Bollywood stars a lot of them are MJ fans. So as badly as I miss watching Michael. I have Shahrukh Khan to watch instead of him. What is the point of watching someone. When it is just going to bring on panic attacks within the first 10 to 30 seconds of watching that person. And there is absolutely no one I could turn to for support. Everyone in my family hates Michael Jackson. They all think he is weird and a child molester. But I will admit this there was only one other person in my family that was an MJ fan. And that was my marriage by only cousin. She was as big of a fan as I was back during the Dangerous Era. Well that is until August of 1993. When that news story broke about that nameless ahole kid mention that Michael Jackson had touch him. Well the next time I saw my cousin she was a hater of his. Where I was still an MJ fan. Because as upset as I was when I heard that. I still totally refused to believe that horrible story. And I knew he was lying. Because I could clearly tell that he was. Well my cousin totally believe that story. And now she is one of the most biggest MJ haters you could ever want to meet. She totally destroyed and threw away all of her MJ items. Instead of giving them to me. So all I have to turn to for support is my Christian programs, Bollywood, and my video and computer games. Especially if those games are my puzzle games. I can't tell you just how relaxing doing a puzzle game on your iPad. Or on your Nintendo 3ds can really be. Unfortunately yes I still live with my mother and my step father. I really have no choice since thanks to my health problems and the disabilities that I have. There is really no where else I can go to.
 

DancingMjsdream

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Okay, so there is really no way for you to move out someday and gain some independence? I can't imagine how it must be like to live with MJ haters when you were such a big fan of his. Is your cousin still convinced that he was guilty?


What does your therapist say about your problems? Do you have a good relationship? I really believe that it helps a lot if you have somebody to talk to.
 

MJsBollywoodGirl7

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Okay, so there is really no way for you to move out someday and gain some independence? I can't imagine how it must be like to live with MJ haters when you were such a big fan of his. Is your cousin still convinced that he was guilty?


What does your therapist say about your problems? Do you have a good relationship? I really believe that it helps a lot if you have somebody to talk to.

As far as I know my cousin still hates him. I haven't seen her since my grandfather's funeral. He died exactly 2 months and 22 days before what was to happen to Michael.:(:boohoo And all the times I have seen her. She never wanted me to mention so much as his name to her. So as far as I know she is still a MJ hater. And no there is no way I can move out. Even though I am 37 years old now. Since I can't drive thanks to my disabilities and health problems that I have. Yeah it does suck living with MJ haters who refuses to understand what it has been like for me. Especially with my mother who I almost constantly always end up having huge fights with. Because I can't get her to understand. Of why I tend to spend so much money on video and computer games every month. Mostly games for my iPad. And that is when another one of our fights usually starts. Because she is so damn thick headed that she doesn't seem to get it. I think all that blonde hair dye that she uses. To cover up her gray hair. Has definitely soak in to her brain enough to make her not get it. I am so very glad I don't have natural blonde hair. My video and computer game obsession only started during the first horrible year without him. It was that obsession was one of the reasons that stopped me for going through with one of my 3 suicide attempts. 2 other reasons was Shahrukh Khan and Bollywood. And realizing that I will not be going to same place where Michael is now.:( Of course my MJ hating mother and that husband of hers does not want to get this. About the obsession I have for video and computer games. Ever since what happen with Michael. I have since gotten used to being like Eeyore with that dark rain cloud over his head. As for my once a month therapist. I am pretty ok with him. And yeah he does help.
 

KOPV

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^ Is there possibilities of you seeing that person more than once a month? so much happens within the month and it becomes hard to put into action efforts that a therapist would try guiding you through week 2,3,4 etc.. when I have seen a therapist I would wish I could go twice a week lol! I didn't but there has been times where I'd get upset when my time would be close to be over because I had more to let out..
 

MJsBollywoodGirl7

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^ Is there possibilities of you seeing that person more than once a month? so much happens within the month and it becomes hard to put into action efforts that a therapist would try guiding you through week 2,3,4 etc.. when I have seen a therapist I would wish I could go twice a week lol! I didn't but there has been times where I'd get upset when my time would be close to be over because I had more to let out..

Unfortunately no there isn't. The therapists around where I live. Only sees their patients once a month. And for me it is always less than an hour for each visit. Because that is all he wants to see me for. Personally I don't even know why I even bother wasting my money on one. When I can get all the therapy I really need. Mostly through video and computer games and watching Bollywood related stuff. Preferably watching Bollywood revenge movies. As I wish I could do that to that nameless ahole. I have to say they do make me feel better after watching them. Especially from watching the movies Rakht Charitra and Anjaam.
 

KOPV

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^ just wondering..... where the heck do you live? lol
 

KOPV

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^ I just figured it has to be a pretty small town to have 1 therapist available. That has got to be tough in that regard!
 

miss rose

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Hi, i suffer from acute anxiety and depression. I live in a very unusual high crime situation.
 
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NatureCriminal7896

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Yup! basically my whole life. not sure it will ever go away. but i'm still young so anything can happen in the next few years. i'm not giving up. and if it's a long life thing then i need to find ways to accept it.
 

8701girl

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You are worth something we asll are! you just gotta belive in yourslf
 

NatureCriminal7896

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If only one could reset his/her life I'd do it in a heartbeat. But would it change anything? Probably not, I am who I am and it's nothing to brag about. I am worthless and without purpose, there are many people out there that deserve a good life, I don't because of my weak avoidant personality and lifestyle. The worst part of it all, my life is only about half way now, so there's still a long time to go.
I'm in a vulnerable mental state and perhaps I made a mistake to make an account here.

You sound a lot like me in someways. i'm an introvert. i'm so different from everyone and sometimes i ask myself do i belong here. while i do have depression. i stay alive for my family sake. that's the only reason why i'm still living. i'm young and still have life ahead of me too.

why making an account have anything do with depression? mentally? if so i understand. social media really isn't good for mental health. but i come here for Michael.
 

PoP

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This is the exact day 15 years ago I went thru emotional hell suffering a whole week of anxiety attacks which I spent 2 weeks isolating myself at my family’s home and I just started my independence for a month, all because of that stupid incident which is a big misunderstanding.
 

NatureCriminal7896

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PoP;4300400 said:
This is the exact day 15 years ago I went thru emotional hell suffering a whole week of anxiety attacks which I spent 2 weeks isolating myself at my family’s home and I just started my independence for a month, all because of that stupid incident which is a big misunderstanding.

do you mind sharing? you don't have to i'm just curious.
 

PoP

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NatureCriminal7896;4300658 said:
do you mind sharing? you don't have to i'm just curious.

Well what happened was that I was at the park which corner across where I live and have a little fun with a few kids and some idiot was tries to get to face for I don’t know what reason, I just left headed home and later the police came over about and I knew that b@$^@#& called them on me right behind me back, I was 18, just a month before my 19th birthday, I was extremely intimidated and agitated, I felt I was threatened, I even called my mom, later the police left and my mom went to the station confronting the idiot, then she came back to pick me up away from my home, I was shaking so bad, I was mentally and emotionally distressed.

During my 2 weeks at my family’s with panic attacks everyday, I found out the same idiot who accused told the entire neighborhood lies about me. I have not been out of my house until the next 2 months, I never want to forgive that very person trying make my life a living emotional hell and I still refuse to, I would’ve sued him for what he put me through. I never went to the same park ever again, until I have my own kids. That’s also one of the reasons why I don’t trust the police at all.
 
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NatureCriminal7896

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PoP;4300671 said:
Well what happened was that I was at the park which corner across where I live and have a little fun with a few kids and some idiot was tries to get to face for I don’t know what reason, I just left headed home and later the police came over about and I knew that b@$^@#& called them on me right behind me back, I was 18, just a month before my 19th birthday, I was extremely intimidated and agitated, I felt I was threatened, I even called my mom, later the police left and my mom went to the station confronting the idiot, then she came back to pick me up away from my home, I was shaking so bad, I was mentally and emotionally distressed.

During my 2 weeks at my family’s with panic attacks everyday, I found out the same idiot who accused told the entire neighborhood lies about me. I have not been out of my house until the next 2 months, I never want to forgive that very person trying make my life a living emotional hell and I still refuse to, I would’ve sued him for what he put me through. I never went to the same park ever again, until I have my own kids. That’s also one of the reasons why I don’t trust the police at all.

Greez what a idiot. i'm sorry that happen to you. yeah that's not cool you should really get the police involve if it's still happening.
 

PoP

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NatureCriminal7896;4300808 said:
Greez what a idiot. i'm sorry that happen to you. yeah that's not cool you should really get the police involve if it's still happening.

I have not seen that b@$^@#& since, he hasn’t had the decency to apologized to me and even if he did I still refuse to forgive him, anybody who screwed me, tattled on me or even called the cops on me right behind is a very unforgivable action. I heard a couple years ago that he died from cancer and good riddance to him.
 
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