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Birthday wish... questions for God...

starone_angel

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I wish Narnia exists...
Today it is my birthday...and it is exactly 4 weeks since he is gone! :no: This is the worst birthday ever! Everybody wants me to be happy, to smile, to pretend everything is ok. I am so tired of being what I am not! Why to smile when my soul is crying? :(

Four weeks ago I made my last prayer to God! He didn't listen to me. Maybe he was to busy but he never listen to my prayers! Everything I wish in my life never happened! Now I can't understand him. I prayed for my parents, they are both ill! I praied for me...I just found out I have serrious health problems! I prayed to see Mike live... I praied for him, for his life, for his health... But he is gone! Two days ago I hospitalized my grandmother with internal bleeding! I want to ask him what's next? He wants me to see everybody dead? What I did so wrong in my life to deserve it? Why he is taking just the good people to him when on Earth we have so many criminals, rapers who lives their life without problem, who are not discovered and stay unpunished?

Mike always told us to be strong! I am not anymore! I can't deal with so many problems in my life! :no: This year supposed to be the greatest year ever...now I live the wost nightmare of my life! This is hell...

You know, for the birthday you can make a wish...my wish is Michael can hear me now...I am crying for houres and I can't stop thinking at him!
Dear Michael, you was everything for me! Now you are gone so I lost everything! Please, if you see God tell him I don't want this life anymore! I just want to die! I am too coward and I can't do it! So tell him to do it for me! I love you most and you will always be in my heart!
..........
I am sorry if this is posted in the wrong place, I just felt I have to write it! And excuse my english!
 
aaaaw it will get easier sweetheart. when my dad died i read a prayer card that said our loved ones go to God and God is near and all around us ......i have been trying to think that way about michael. Its a tough time for your birthday, we need time to come to terms with what happened and we haven't had any time yet.

you're not being punished, a hard time does not mean God is punishing you. I'll keep you in my prayers and hope, with time, things are better for you

i've been there, i know how you feel
 
Oh Starone_angel, your story brings tears to my eyes. I'm sorry things have been so hard for you. I wish you strength to get through it and have faith that you will. All of our hearts are broken, but please keep the faith that things will get better. No matter how bad things seem now, you will enjoy life again, I promise. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts & prayers.
 
I'm sorry youre hurting so much. Sending you much love and youre in my prayers!
 
You know, i have once read something that made me think: the night is the darkest just before the sunrise (cu alte cuvinte, intunericul cel mai negru este chiar inainte de rasarit). Just hang on and I hope that you feel all the love that comes from this site directly to you. La multi ani!
 
Starone_angel, my prayers are with you!

Please, remember there is a reason for everything that happens in this world. I know that right now you cannot see a light in the whole situation, let alone any reasons, but keep in mind that one day it all will become clear to us.

Everybody bears it own burden. Everybody cries at night. Some are destined to cry more than others. I cannot give you an explanation about that right now but there is one. I truly believe that. I have friends who have so banal worries and so banal lives. Their emotional and mental background cannot accept what we are going through here.

Obviously you are at a very hard stage of your life. You must be there for your relatives and for yourself. It is a cliche saying "what does not kill you, just make you stronger", but it is true. You will get out of this stronger and "grown".

We all have been thinking of death more lately. I have been too asking God many questions and received no answers. Yet.

Remember that we are all here for you and you can share everything here. Remembere that there will be always somebody to listen/read your story and give you advice or sympathy. In my life that happened rarely and that is why i am glad that i found this place.

Hang in there and keep us updated how you are doing, please.

I hope things soon will get brighter for you and you family!

Hugs!

ps. Oh, and Happy birthday even a little bit late! I wish you soon find something so beautiful and genuine that it will take all you pain and worry disappear.
 
happy birthday Starone_angel.
praying that things get better for you.
 
Life is a mystery and does not make sense. I've had times of feeling like I don't want to be here anymore due to things in my own life. I don't want to do that to anyone I love though and life is also too intriguing as sometimes what is around the corner is good, hard to believe when all around you now is negative trust me I KNOW how you feel.

All I want to do right now is send you a BIG HUG and say I'm thinking of you and hoping things improve for you soon x
 
You poor thing... :cry: I almost cried reading that...
 
Happy birthday starone angel!

Happiness will return to you.

Even though life seems to be getting too much at times. Hang in there.
I wish strength to you and your family. What a blessing for them that you're still there able to help them.
 
Thank you very much for your support and bday wishes! I send you all a big hug! Thank you for being here for me!
My grandmother is not ok! The doctors says it is most likely cancer. So I don't see any improvement for her!
I am trying my best to cope with everything but you know, in the past I had Michael there for me, he was the one who gave me the strength but now he is gone! I feel so alone and empty without him! I can't believe he is gone for one month!
My friends were nice yesterday and tried to make me feel better! They gave me some nice presents, I will post some pictures later, I want to share with you my new MJ t-shirt and gold statue!
Take care of you all and be stronger than me, please! God bless you all!
L.
 
aww starone angel, weve all been there. i think/feel that everythin happens for a reason. god has a plan for us all, when things go wrong in our lives we cant blame him for it. he does everythin for the good and to strengthen us. we go through tests, testing our characters.

" I can do all things through christ who strengthens me"

god is saying to u today "the plans i have for u, are good, to give u a future and a hope" now, hope is not just the absense of despair, its the presence of something greater, something only god can give.

Through his amazing grace god can take the good, the bad and the ugly experiences in ur life and use them to make u unbelieveably better at what he created for u watever that might be.

" dont let ur hearts be troubled, trust in god, and trust in me"

" our homeland is in heaven" the twists and turns of life have a way of reminding us this world is not our homeland.

keep listening to this

1. Soon and very soon, we are going to see the King (3 times)
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! We're going to see the King.

2. No more crying there, we are going to see the King (3 times)
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! We're going to see the King.

3. No more dying there, we are going to see the King (3 times)
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! We're going to see the King.Also listen to laucious smith's speech

"THE KING OF POP MUST BOW HIS KNEE TO THE KING OF KINGS!!"

God Bless you

x

 
i felt for you when i read your post yesterday. but i didnt know what to answer and was thinking about it for a while. and today i understood one amazing thing i never realized before. Michael is the one who made me strong in faith. i came to God with his help. it's an amazing thing to realise. he taught me by his example. his example also taught me not doubting God. i dont know why Michael, why now and half of my soul was taken with him, but i'm at peace with God. i feel blessed i lived at the same time with Michael that gave me so much happiness and hope.
 
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