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Everything Burns

Streetwalker13

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Jul 25, 2011
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Middle of nowhere, northwest, IN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKCccyZvtIo

I'm trying to go on with things. Make something happy from my life. But this song is all I can feel. It's me, every lyric in the song. I'm in pain, I'm angry, I'm jaded, everything. It seems like there's no one around to care, or who wants to care. It's like I'm outcasted in everything, work, family, everywhere. I feel so alone and it makes me angry. I just don't know how to explain it, or if this makes any sense. Normally I'm a tough person, I can handle things but since 12 weeks ago, I can't. I haven't felt this low since I was 14 like I keep crying out but no one will listen.

Everything Burns.......
 
Streetwalker13 said:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKCccyZvtIo

I'm trying to go on with things. Make something happy from my life. But this song is all I can feel. It's me, every lyric in the song. I'm in pain, I'm angry, I'm jaded, everything. It seems like there's no one around to care, or who wants to care. It's like I'm outcasted in everything, work, family, everywhere. I feel so alone and it makes me angry. I just don't know how to explain it, or if this makes any sense. Normally I'm a tough person, I can handle things but since 12 weeks ago, I can't. I haven't felt this low since I was 14 like I keep crying out but no one will listen.

Everything Burns.......
Click to expand...

What a sadly beautiful song! Thanks for sharing this. Sometimes, one just has to get to the depths of grief, to begin to recover. But also, it's important not to get STUCK there? There remains beauty in the world. Even in a rainbow in an oil-slicked puddle. . . . . You just FEEL what you feel, but don't be trapped by it? Things DO change; things CAN improve. You just don't sense it now?

You are NOT alone. There are people here who understand exactly what you're feeling. The song you posted says it very well. Thanks for sharing this.

Hugs,

Vic
 
Well, here people care and you are not alone. A lot of us are going through rough patches right now, crying endless tears and feeling lost, but we'll be okay in time.

Not sure how old you are now, but I relate to your saying you had a hard time at age 14, as it was a rough time for me too. I can't believe I'm nearly twice that age now (I'm 26) because that time in my life was extremely transitional and vivid. There were many really low moments, and thinking back I'm not sure how I would have coped if I had to deal with a big loss such as Michael's.

Hugs to you and keep talking to us here when you feel sad.... :hug:
 
Oh, and I can't listen to the song you posted at the moment (I'm at work... shh, don't tell anyone I'm not paying attention!) but I certainly will later.
 
Aw, I'm sorry your feeling bad right now. Just remember, we all know how you feel, you're not alone. :huggy: Take care. :)
 
I feel very like you right now, lost!
Im only 13, a couple of years ago, i was just having a hard time with life, i didnt like myself, i didnt like my life, i was crippled by fear, i couldnt talk to anyone, i was so alone, down i suppose to very bad bullying! Then i found MJ, he opened me up taught me to love myself, made me care for my world, made me realize how lucky i was, i opened my heart thanks to him and my life is happy now, im enjoying my life!
Im greeving so much right now, i feeli like im back in the same place i was, but i have trust that Michael will give revive me and bring me back down to happiness with his music and constant love!
Thinking of you all, bless x
 
Thx guys :)
I'm 23 now, so 14 seems like such a long time ago but I still remember how I felt and it's like now.
I just feel like the one constant in my life is gone...then so much trama with my family and how their health is...I just can't take it.
I think that's why I can watch flames dance for a while...it seems pyromanic like but it calms me
 
Streetwalker13 said:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKCccyZvtIo

I'm trying to go on with things. Make something happy from my life. But this song is all I can feel. It's me, every lyric in the song. I'm in pain, I'm angry, I'm jaded, everything. It seems like there's no one around to care, or who wants to care. It's like I'm outcasted in everything, work, family, everywhere. I feel so alone and it makes me angry. I just don't know how to explain it, or if this makes any sense. Normally I'm a tough person, I can handle things but since 12 weeks ago, I can't. I haven't felt this low since I was 14 like I keep crying out but no one will listen.

Everything Burns.......
Click to expand...


((((((((warm hug))))))))))
 
Stay strong, Streetwalker. Life is such that it kicks everyone's butt sooner or later, but where there are downs, there are ups as well... So just hang in there, because although it's a bit rough and difficult for you at the moment, it can only get better from there.
We know how you feel, and we're here for you!:better:
You're not alone at all. :)
 
Тhank you for reminding me of this song again. I have not heard it since years. It`s beautiul. I relate so much to the lyrics, too. Since Michael passed, in his memory i`ve been trying to change my life in more positive way - be nicer to people, not to pay attention to little things, be bettet than i was. But somehow i can`t see anything positive in this world. I see only pain and sorrow, bad people and bad doings on their part. Two days ago i found a box with 4 little kittens, still needing their mother, left on the street, next to garbage. One of them already died. The next day a friend of mine called that she found another box of kittens, just a little bit older. People say to me - you are crazy for helping them, there are too much homeless ones, leave them. It is only evil and pain. It burns inside of me. And i cannot keep the positive attitude with so much evil. I do not how Michael did. I read a lot from Dancing the dream, usually at evening. For weeks it is the only thing that give me hope someday all of us will live in a better world.

Hang in there. I know how you feel and i will say a prayer for you tonight.
 
aww, those poor kittens.. :( But you're changing things by helping them.
I can understand how you feel about so much bad in the world since that's all I've seen since a while now. It makes me extremely jaded and empty then I feel alone
 
Sadly, loneliness is part of my life for years so i kind of got used to it. But i have never felt so much pain and desperation before. Empty and silent inside. I see people fighting for money or betraying friends for money or career and i think "you are so stupid and shallow". If they knew what is the feeling of never having a true friend by your side, maybe they would think twice before bad mouthing them. Everything is so artificial, no one cares anymore about real values. Now i see how much Michael was right. But you know what - here are people who do care and the very knowing of that makes it a little bit easier. We will never be really alone as long as there are people here who still keep the real legacy of Michael. Belive it or not sometimes i find more comfort here, just reading, than in everything else.

Every time you feel that way, post here and there will be always somebody to read your feelings and post some comforting ones in return even if he/she is so far way. And knowing that there is somebody else who feel the same way means that you are not alone in your pain.
 
Thank you Deni Avr for helping the kittens. I am an animal lover and ASPCA member and it saddens me so deeply to think about little kittens being left alone, put out with the garbage. :cry:
 
Streetwalker13 said:
Thx guys :)
I'm 23 now, so 14 seems like such a long time ago but I still remember how I felt and it's like now.
I just feel like the one constant in my life is gone...then so much trama with my family and how their health is...I just can't take it.
I think that's why I can watch flames dance for a while...it seems pyromanic like but it calms me
Click to expand...
Thank you for posting that song Streetwalker, it's been a while since I last heard that. And thank you for sharing your experiences! :better:

You're not alone in your grief. Here you are surrounded by people who go through the same thing, each in their own ways. I'm sorry to hear about your family, I can imagine it to be hard to handle when you've got this going on aswell. Do know that we're here for you, that we'll listen and that we can relate to what you're going through in regards to Michaels passing.

And if things really seem like to much to handle, perhaps its worth seeking counselling to pull you through. We'll do whatever we can for you here, but it's good keeping in mind that there are professionals who can help you find the strenght and the tools to overcome your ordeals.
Hang in there ok!
 
I appreciate knowing that. Sometimes it feels too hard but being broke like I am, I find comfort in coming here. Then comfort in music. When I'm dancing or playing my guitar, that's when I truely feel alive and like everything makes sense. It's just me, dancing, and my guitar, the only things that have never got annoyed with me or told me to stop or left me
 
jemini515 said:
Thank you Deni Avr for helping the kittens. I am an animal lover and ASPCA member and it saddens me so deeply to think about little kittens being left alone, put out with the garbage. :cry:
Click to expand...

I try to help a lot of abandoned and injured cats and dogs but people are so cruel and so irresponsible towards animals that we cannot keep up with all of it. People from other countries (Germany, Switzerland, Austria, UK) help us by adopting our animals but the trip to their couintries is expensive. Adopters here you can find only of cute animals, the ones with more ordinary color are doomed even though they have the most loving character. Such a hobby is an expensive, a very emotional and a very time consuming one, you know that, i am sure, but when you have that little thing in your heart that prevent you from passing by a creature in need, you just keep going no matter one.

Sorry for the off-topic. I am glad that there are animal lovers here, especially ones that are members of ASPCA :)

The kittens are great so far. I think they will make it. Keep your fingers crossed for them to find good owners.
 
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Streetwalker13 said:
I appreciate knowing that. Sometimes it feels too hard but being broke like I am, I find comfort in coming here. Then comfort in music. When I'm dancing or playing my guitar, that's when I truely feel alive and like everything makes sense. It's just me, dancing, and my guitar, the only things that have never got annoyed with me or told me to stop or left me
Click to expand...

I know what you mean. I cannot sleep well and often in nights i play music, sit on the ground, in the corner and just listen. Feeling the magic. Then everyhing makes sense, yes.

Keep the hope, some day it will be different.
 
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