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How has your life changed since Michael's passing?

My life changed completly,and will never be the same.

Part of me died with Michael.

Part of me is empty...lost...

I feel i'm not alive...i'm only surviving day.by.day,and that for itself is very exauting to go through
 
ive been crying every day, mostly at night when im alone. i still cant accept the fact that he is gone,i cant face the realty!
since he died i did not learn anything, altough i have exams in one week- but i just dont care!
cant whach the tributes, i feel its ruining me, cant look at the rehearsals-i feel my heart is broken apart!
MJJcommunity has helped me alot, specially when i read the posts and the funny things about him, but when i turn on the tv the harsh reality slaps me in the face.
im in love with him and dont have a clue how my future is going to be without him.
i feel i have to kill everyone who hurt him.....i dont know how to handle this pressure, please help me!
 
:( I think the major change in my life has been the awareness that you shouldn't take something...or someone...for granted. Every day is a gift and you should treat it as such and live each moment to its fullest.

I feel so bad for some of you living with such pain and overwhelming sadness! It really doesn't seem to me like Michael would want his fans living in a constant state of misery. Obviously, the grief and pain is normal and expected, but don't let it overtake you. There are many wonderful amazing gifts that Michael left behind, and his music is at the top of the list. There are so many of his songs that make me smile when I listen to them; many are uplifting and fun and full of his magic. Those are the songs I enjoy most and I'm so glad we have them to enjoy forever.

Nothing and no one can replace Michael Jackson. That is obvious. And your sadness is very understandable...but don't let it dominate your life. Hold onto the music and the magic as much as you can.
 
thanks very much, i'll try my best and hope that time will help to ease the pain :(
 
I'm sad, depressed, and I can't stop thinking about what happened. I go running everyday listening to his songs.I'm simply obsessed and enraged.
He did so much in his life, he didn't deserve all this!
I never felt like this,I'm speechless....
 
His death has awoken me to the horror of what has been and is going on in the world and how many people especially those of celebrity status are being constantly hammered by both tabloids and people who are just purely evil in their thoughts and gossips. I have stepped out of the comforting shadows of despair and gaming addictions and taken steps out into the light of hope and desire to make this a more better world and help those who are challenging the bitterness and the anguish that is plaguing this world whether it be from war, descrimination, poverty, disease, or abuse. However stepping into the light has made me feel exposed to my own feelings and sensitivity which makes me curl up many times in emotional pain. I'm a very sensitive person to pain and suffering, especially those of other people, which is why until 2 months ago I was hiding from it all. I am often overwhelmed with inner pain over the death of Michael Jackson and all that he struggled through in his life. I've many times wanted to end my life so that I no longer feel this pain, but I know that this is not what God wants and is not what Michael would've wanted either and that God has a mission for me here to help bring people together. I had a revelation 11 years ago that I was a destroyer and that my mission was to destroy the boundaries of young and old, male and female, black and white, and such. I will not leave this world until I have accomplished that mission and when God decides it's time for me to go. Instead I try to draw strength upon everything that I've learned about Michael's struggles in life even though it hurts and that love I have inside me for him I try to reflect onto others in a hopes that I will be able to make a change to peoples' lives no matter how small that change is.
 
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Losing Michael has turned me into a different person. I was caring before, as much as the average person, but now I really care. I make that extra effort to stay in touch with people, make sure things are going well in their lives.. my job is dealing with general public so I extend it to them also. Making sure they're happy with whatever they've bought, if there's anything else I can do for them. I don't know whether they've had a good day or bad, or whats going on in their personal life, a friendly face may be all they need.

When I don't have all this going on my heart hurts. I am so much pain at losing him, just overwhelmed that someone so beautiful can be gone just like that, so suddenly. The interchangable opinion of him now that he's gone is heartbreaking. It makes me angry and upset that he was hated by lots of people while he was alive, but now that he's gone if I hear a single bad comment I can't help but cry. I'm in pieces.
 
I just can't take it... I felt Michael was a source of strength for me in the face of other things going on in my life. And I love him. So much. He is a hero for me, someone I love so much and I want to meet him. I want to meet him, I want to meet him, I want to meet him... I need to know I will see him when I die... God I don't want this I want time to go back two months why him why not me for example Michael was too good I love you so much why'd you have to go and leave my world so cold... I'll never let you part, for you're always in my heart, but for me it's not enough :( I need your love and guidance in my life and that's gone I'm so cold, so cold... I don't think I'm gonna make it, knowing you'll never sing and dance again :( Without a hero, what is this life... nothing, nothing, NOTHING!
 
I'm missing my hero/idol...I haven't ate like I did before this happened. Everytime I smile, it's usually to mask the saddness in my heart from everything. I feel so alone right now. It's like on the outside I can be happy, smile, laugh, joke, but on the inside I'm bleeding all over.
 
Miss_star said:
well, ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of being able to meet Michael...just to hug him or hold his hand...I knew there wasn't much chance of that although I always had hope...but now he's gone I know I never have the chance :cry: so his passing has kind of made me lose hope in alot of things
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I feel the same way, I know my biggest an actually only dream will never come true:( can't find the enthusiasm or passion in anything:no:
 
i still keep on crying seein his videos,interviews or hearina song of him....its hard....earth has lost an angel.....when i fil bad cant listen 2 his song 2 cheer me up as it upset me even more!!!!
miss u MJ ...:-((((((((((((
 
justyna said:
I feel the same way, I know my biggest an actually only dream will never come true:( can't find the enthusiasm or passion in anything:no:
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i feel the same as well!
my biggest dream/wish was to see him.
everything i wanted. and now hes gone and left me alone with this dream i cant fulfill =(
its like i cant go on with my life, because i have no goal anymore. nothing to live for :(
i feel cold, empty and lost.when im happy for a moment with my friends the reality comes back and makes me sad again..
its all so senseless...
 
I can´t sleep at night. I can´t concentrate on anything during the day. All I can do is think about Michael day and night. My heart is bleeding for him and all that he had to go through in life and the way he died. I´m totally obsessed with him and obsessed with thinking about how his death might have been avoided. Although I know this will not bring him back.
I´ve been a fan of his for over 16 years. He has been such an important part of my life. He has given me so much, inspired me so much, helped me so much during difficult times. I love him deeply. But now I will never have the chance to tell him that or tell him what a beautiful person he was. And thank him.
 
lost any will to carry on ...everything seems so much hard to do now... can't concentrate ...and on top of that ppl around seem fed up w me being a fan and start bullying me for feeling so bad... i wish i could hide somewhere ....maybe in mike's grave .... :( everything is so ....wrong... in my life... in my head ...in my heart ... in the ppl i see.... it all hurts ....hurts like hell...and i don't know when will it stop...maybe the day i'll die and see Mike in heaven (if i go to heaven... )
 
ShadowMaster said:
lost any will to carry on ...everything seems so much hard to do now... can't concentrate ...and on top of that ppl around seem fed up w me being a fan and start bullying me for feeling so bad... i wish i could hide somewhere ....maybe in mike's grave .... :( everything is so ....wrong... in my life... in my head ...in my heart ... in the ppl i see.... it all hurts ....hurts like hell...and i don't know when will it stop...maybe the day i'll die and see Mike in heaven (if i go to heaven... )
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take me with you :cry:
 
vinniram said:
I want to die
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please don't even think that way...as tough as it sound the life goes on, even if it's not gonna be the same ynymore for any of us...remember we've got a lot to do for him and his legacy, try to concentrate on that:(
 
MJstarlight said:
take me with you :cry:
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i would...but you're so far away and all i can do is give you the warmest and most honest hug i can give. i'm afraid, that you're too far that even my hug won't reach to you:(
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
 
The emotional pain still pounds my heart every day. I really don't know how I'm supposed to keep going on like this. I know deep down Michael would not want me to feel such pain, but unfortunately death has that impact on people and Michael's death makes an even bigger impact because I don't just love him and his music, I am in love with him. It's a feeling I've felt for many many years, even during my years of doubts. Every time his name was mentioned, every time someone joked about him, I would maybe laugh along a little, but then I'd feel a terrible pain inside me and I would want to cry because I knew a part of me was still in love with him and it hurt that not only was he being mocked but that I was laughing with the mockers. Now he's gone I love him more than I ever did before, and oh God does it hurt that I can't tell him that now and that I left it too late to question my own doubts and learn the truth.
 
Awh guys please don't say things like you want to die. Michael loved life, and he was cut out of life too soon. All we can do is live good lives, be the best we can, be good, and then maybe we'll get to heaven and be with him :p
 
michaelforever3 said:
Since Michael passed away, I haven't been nearly as cheerful in my daily life. But the most striking change in my life is that I can't turn to his music for happiness in the way I used to. Instead, it makes me sad, nostalgic, and hopeless. :(







How has your life changed since Michael died?
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So far.....It has changed because Michael represented strenght in all things art and peace(and much more) and during these past few years,especially(as well as all my life).I've relied to his art for comfort & strenght in the very good times & bad and what's inbetween....I've always really gained from knowing that he was out there in the world doing what I related to...His Art..Knowing that there was such positivity and all types dimensions of creativity as well as emotions & soul coming from Michaels Art, It always helped me along. I've always been able to really relate to how Michael represents himself as an artist & visionary...And now The world seems less bright without Him being in it and I have to deal with him being gone and not being able to know that I will not be able to discuss with him how I see art and new ideals,and the possibility to feed of one anothers groove,so to speak.. etc. or know that he'll never be able to do a new project of any kind....and that hurts me so bad! I know I will always feel him within me and I will always have his memories and what art he left behind and I must take that and carry through this journey that we call life on earth..
 
In the begining I was quite suicidal. Because I just didn't know how I was going to live in a world without Michael in it. I really was going to go through and kill myself. Until I realized Michael would not want his fans to kill themselves over him. I will be hurting him if I did that. And I loved Michael way too much to want to hurt him. So instead of killing myself I became like an absolute zombie during the first few weeks. And I just wanted to stay in bed and just do nothing but sleep. Just to help me escape reality. But when I had started to have these nightmares about Michael. I didn't want to go to sleep. Because those nightmares really scared me. And ever since that horrible day I still can't sleep like I used to. But most of all I had spent most of those days in a very deep state of depression and sadness. But listening to Michael has had helped me alot during these past days. So has watching his performances. Now I am trying to stay strong for Michael and tried to think of Michael is in a happier place now. But it is still quite hard for me at times. If I watched some sort of MJ video. It will make sad and I will start to cry again. But I tried not to cry over him as much as I used to. And I still continuesly think about Michael though. And how different everything would be if he was still here with us.
 
souldreamer7 said:
So far.....It has changed because Michael represented strenght in all things art and peace(and much more) and during these past few years,especially(as well as all my life).I've relied to his art for comfort & strenght in the very good times & bad and what's inbetween....I've always really gained from knowing that he was out there in the world doing what I related to...His Art..Knowing that there was such positivity and all types dimensions of creativity as well as emotions & soul coming from Michaels Art, It always helped me along. I've always been able to really relate to how Michael represents himself as an artist & visionary...
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understand you very well:) everytime i was mad, sad, stressed Michael's music gave me a strenght and optimism, all i needed was his music to make me feel better...everytime i failed i've listened to Keep the faith and it made me feel that everything's gonna be OK..but now, it's not like that anymore:(
 
His death, as hurt as I was, made my faith stronger. I felt so lost and sad when he passed away that I wanted to find some sort of connection with him. I didn't want to believe that he was gone just like that. It lead me to things that made me know this life is just an experience we all have to go through as spirits made from God's unconditional love. His passing has saddened me but I take comfort in the fact that he is in a far better place than he ever was here and I know he knows I love him wherever he is right now. I'm not suicidal but I kind of find it exciting if ever God calls me home because I know Michael will be there too. So no I just have to focus on being good and loving others so I can be in the place where there is only love. Where Michael is. :)
 
Michael made me want to love more. If that makes any sense, his death made me want to comfort those who are taking it really really hard.
 
IT HURTS LIKE HELL
i'm waiting till the day i'm gonna die
.............
i'm waiting untill the day i'm gonna see him in heaven
IF I GO TO HEAVEN :$
:(
......................
it's such a horrible nightmare that never ends
I REALLY REALLY WISH IF IT WAS ME
 
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