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I can't go on anymore...

MichaelJackson4Ever

MichaelJackson4Ever

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Hello. I joined this forum because I have nobody in my real life that understands how bad I feel. I am a very big fan of Michael and after he died I feel like my other half died. I feel so alone in the world. I don't have many friends and I don't have a boyfriend, nobody that I can talk to about how I really feel. Maybe it sounds strange to you, but I truly believe that I was in love with Michael. I loved him so much, and I'm sure the pain I'm feeling would be the same as anyone else whose lost their husband to death.

I feel like I have nothing going for me anymore. Michael's songs always got me through the day. But now there'll never be anything new. Knowing he's not alive anymore, not out there frightens me and I don't want to live in a world without him. There's nothing good in my life now, and Michael is gone too. What else is there? I just want to be with Michael...
 
I see where you are coming from. I don't really have any friends here in my town (my true friends live like a 2 hour distance from me, 2 hours with car) and neither do i have a girlfriend anymore, and i can't of course feel your pain but i can imagine it. I wish i could say something to truly help you out, because that's what friends do. It might sound weird..but in the end....true MJ fans are friends of eachother, that's how i see it.

But trust me...as bad as it is now...better times are ahead. It will take lots of time to let it sink in, and it will be hard. But keep on listening to MJ and keep the faith, as he said it. And again as he said....You'll find that life is still worthwhile if you just smile.
Where are you from by the way? Cause if it's holland..i live there and there will be several MJ tributes here and it might be a good idea to visit them..meet up with fans. I still want to do that...but hasn't happened yet.
 
MichaelJackson4Ever said:
Hello. I joined this forum because I have nobody in my real life that understands how bad I feel. I am a very big fan of Michael and after he died I feel like my other half died. I feel so alone in the world. I don't have many friends and I don't have a boyfriend, nobody that I can talk to about how I really feel. Maybe it sounds strange to you, but I truly believe that I was in love with Michael. I loved him so much, and I'm sure the pain I'm feeling would be the same as anyone else whose lost their husband to death.

I feel like I have nothing going for me anymore. Michael's songs always got me through the day. But now there'll never be anything new. Knowing he's not alive anymore, not out there frightens me and I don't want to live in a world without him. There's nothing good in my life now, and Michael is gone too. What else is there? I just want to be with Michael...
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I am so sorry for your pain. I feel it, too. Michael inspired love. I think that was what he was on earth to do? Those "outside" cannot understand the grief for someone most had never met. Michael made himself very accessible, in music, words, writings, photos. We all feel that we KNEW him, I'm sure. The people here, on this board, in this forum, DO understand exactly what you are feeling. Please keep talking to us here?

There WILL be new music. He had a huge backlog of unreleased material. It won't be the same, as "new" music, but will be new to us.

Please read my "finding meaning" essay in this forum. It's helped some people, a little? Let me know what you think?

"Being with Michael" is not a viable option. There is NO ONE who knows for certain what happens after death. There are people who have faith and it sustains them, but NO ONE alive knows. . . for certain. Life is precious.

Keep talking to us?

love,

Victoria
 
Please don't feel alone - we are all here for you.

I feel your pain, I have loved Michael dearly for 24 years since I was 8. I feel like my right arm has been cut off, and if it wasn't for my family I don't know what I would do. I have at times felt like giving up, but Michael would NOT want any of us to do that.

I was lucky enough to go to the Vigil at the O2 arena last night, and it was wonderful therapy to meet so many lovely like minded people and talk about our Michael in the way that we all felt like we knew him personally.

For me, he has always felt like the love of my life..... for my son, he always cracked up at Michael's softer funnier side and he felt like Michael was a big brother! Everyone had different (but all wonderful) feelings towards him.

I am happy to offer you the branch of friendship, and I will always be here if you would like to talk!

I am a 32 year old mum of 2 (and I am married) I live in Kent UK... Just so you know a bit about me!! I have a very young outlook on life and my friends tell me I act more like 18 than 32 lol!! xx

Don't be sad and alone.... talk to us xxx We're all friends xxx
 
MichaelJackson4ever you've found a very nice place and the right one to share your feelings. You're not alone. Take a look around and I'm sure you'll be able to feel that. Please feel my warm welcome! *hugs*
 
I'm glad I have you guys to talk to about my feelings. I just feel so so so so hurt that he's died. I can't stop watching older interviews and home footage of his. He was such a good person. He laughed all the time and it makes it hard to realize he can't do that anymore.

I recently watched one video where he was being interviewed by Chinese tv and he couldn't stop laughing. They had to redo takes over and over again and he did everything he could to not laugh but he always did. I miss that...I want to be able to watch those videos and laugh with him like I used to. But now when I watch them, I just cry and feel so sad.

I loved how playful he was. I loved how he always smiled and laughed. I loved how shy he got sometimes. I love how innocent he was. I love how he giggled a lot like an innocent child. I loved how he spoke. I loved his soft gentle voice and accent.

I loved everything about him and I wish I could rewind the clock. I miss him so much and I can't believe he's gone.....
 
^ Your post there just sums it all up. How many times was the word love mentioned! That is what he bought out in people. He loved life, he would want you to do the same. Michael was a trooper to the end, he was a fighter and strong. We have to carry on being like that for him, he would be so proud of all of us. I know he would. I don't know how to make you feel better, because I don't feel better myself and I'm wondering how I will pull myself out of this. Somewhere inside of me though, I feel hope. Michael is still here spiritually, he will be looking out for us all! And of course his family and beautiful children who he loved so much. These are just such dark days, but pull through, we are all here for you.
PM me if you need or want to talk.
 
When you lose someone you loved so much it hurts and the grief you feel can feel like it will never end. Everyone deals with grief in their own way. Some need more time to grieve. For some they are afraid if they stop grieving they will forget. I think if Michael was alive he would tell fans he loved them so so much and to be strong at this most painful of times and to think of all the happy times they shared with him. There are a lot of fans out there who feel the same way so please dont think you are alone. Thats the lie depression is telling you. It tricks people into feeling like they are the only one going through this and that nobody else will understand but there are many out there who care and love you and who will listen and support you unconditionally.
 
..........................You are not alone MichaelJackson4Ever (((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))) we all are here fior eachother,including you!:better:
 
Michael was the love of my life too, well he will always be just that :cry:
But it hurts so much.. every day is so painful! I still find myself asking why! I hold alot more anger in me though. Your right it is the same kind of pain losing a husband it feels like. I felt so emotionally connected to Michael, even if that sounds strange. Michael was my whole world. He was the most caring/gentle soul I hve been blessed to have known. I even convinced myself that he is my soulmate because we are so much alike. Without him, I am so depressed and lonely... I just cant imagine him gone, I cant imagine him just stop breathing. Im still very disturbed imagining it.... I want to be with Michael too. I wish I could be where he is.. Im in a very black hole right now.. No one around me understands but you guys.. You know now Im not even afraid to die anymore, because Michael went through it :( And I would not hurt myself.. but I dont want to be here anymore, living in this mad cruel world.
I just want to know he is ok :( :cry:
 
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