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I need help with drugs

E-smooth

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
384
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18
Location
Beaumont/USA
i think i have gone into depression and ive lost my sense of happyness my father is a police officer and i was driving home and got high and it rained and my truck locked up and i could barely turn the wheel but i almost did not care i think i wanted to die... and i have been turning to drugs it has been marijuana and pills but i don't know i just don't know i don't know if i can keep it from my family mama not my dad he knows but i can see myself dying soon too. im not happy don't know if i want to die or what should i get some help and who and how.
 
if you asked Michael the same question - what do you think he would have answered? i think he would have been really sad. may be would cry and hug you. may be would try to tell you that you should care about your family and he appreciates your care and that he loves you too. and he wants you to love life and follow your dreams. that every day is a gift and he doesnt want you to loose this gift. may be he would say "i cannot enjoy what you can now. i dont have life you have. you are so lucky. you can see the sun and the mountains, the sunrises and sunsets, you can smell the morning breeze and see the light of the morning. i cant anymore. by destroying yourself - you're destroying all that. you're destroying me too. because i never ever wanted it. and drugs is not me, it's not Michael Jackson. and it's not his fans". that's what i think he could have said.

take care. hugs
 
my words or anyone's words are nothing, not even Michael if he would be near you and told you to stop, nothing can make you give them up unless you want to stop. i could tell you countless stories about how i managed to keep my mind clear, but would just waste my tim, unless you don't want to stop. after all it's all about you and your mind. i like my mind clear and sharp as a blade. it's the only way i can honor Michael as a fan. i think Mike would like his fans to be strong and carry on. we all know how hard his life was ... and yet he was strong and went on and you let depression and drugs take over ?
 
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Don't hurt yourself hun. You are way too young to be giving up. Michael wouldn't like to hear of this I'm sure. Try to rest and relax as much as you can and when you're ready, try to take all that energy you're feeling and turn it into a positive.

Donate some time and care to a local children's charity, spend some time with a young person and read them a book.

Spend the time you have here on earth doing good and giving back. You'll feel very good if you do and it will lift your spirit.

Nothing pays back more than giving to others. :)

Feel better....
 
E-smooth said:
i think i have gone into depression and ive lost my sense of happyness my father is a police officer and i was driving home and got high and it rained and my truck locked up and i could barely turn the wheel but i almost did not care i think i wanted to die... and i have been turning to drugs it has been marijuana and pills but i don't know i just don't know i don't know if i can keep it from my family mama not my dad he knows but i can see myself dying soon too. im not happy don't know if i want to die or what should i get some help and who and how.
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gosh you seem to be in deep pain and/or confusion. Sorry for that about your truck but not sorry whatever didn't kill you yet.
See I'm no english native and don't even know if I'm getting all you're saying but reading as often that you don't know... please there's time enough for still everything I think when you take the time to find out what it really is you want. Although I have no idea where you are really in the US I think there is help available... I am almost sure. Ask a doctor or someone who's just not allowed to speak about it to others if you don't want to turn to your family maybe?! That's really an advantage with professionals... they're not allowed to talk to anyone as long as you do not allow so. There's ppl who can help you with doing your thinking and getting clear about possibilities.
Try to stay away from drugs... they do blurr your mind and that feels for some short time maybe easier with all those dark thoughts and all the dispair, but that's usually only for short nd afterwards things do usually not look better usually they do look more even worse and more complicate... and dying cuz you maybe can't see things clear or cuz your mind is just blurred cuz of drugs and you do something you don't even really want... I do think you deserve better honestly.
Give yourself a chance and try for some help.
 
CatherineNZ said:
if you asked Michael the same question - what do you think he would have answered? i think he would have been really sad. may be would cry and hug you. may be would try to tell you that you should care about your family and he appreciates your care and that he loves you too. and he wants you to love life and follow your dreams. that every day is a gift and he doesnt want you to loose this gift. may be he would say "i cannot enjoy what you can now. i dont have life you have. you are so lucky. you can see the sun and the mountains, the sunrises and sunsets, you can smell the morning breeze and see the light of the morning. i cant anymore. by destroying yourself - you're destroying all that. you're destroying me too. because i never ever wanted it. and drugs is not me, it's not Michael Jackson. and it's not his fans". that's what i think he could have said.

take care. hugs
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Great post.

I think you should get some help. It's so great that you've realised you do have a problem with coping with all this. I'm sure your family will want to help you and pull you through this. I wish you so much luck. Also, I can relate in that my dad was a police officer when I was growing up, it can be a lot tougher than people realise. Stay strong x
 
E-smooth said:
i think i have gone into depression and ive lost my sense of happyness my father is a police officer and i was driving home and got high and it rained and my truck locked up and i could barely turn the wheel but i almost did not care i think i wanted to die... and i have been turning to drugs it has been marijuana and pills but i don't know i just don't know i don't know if i can keep it from my family mama not my dad he knows but i can see myself dying soon too. im not happy don't know if i want to die or what should i get some help and who and how.
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This is absolutely terrifying, and I'm afraid for you! If your father knows, then ask him to to help you. Maybe he can find you a therapist or some sort of treatment? In addition to my fear for your own safety is the risk of harming someone else if driving while impaired. While you try to get a handle on this, make some pledges to yourself. First would be NOT to ever drive while impaired. This risks you and everyone else who happens to be on the road. Another would be not to do anything impulsive while in a state of depression. Depression CAN lift, and dying is permanent.

Marijuana can have a depressive/paranoia effect, and I doubt that it's helping you. You didn't say what kind of pills, but some things can be highly addictive, such as codeine-based meds, and Xanax, etc. There is a real risk of physical addiction, which means you'd get sick if you tried to stop on your own! If you do try to stop on your own, I'd say step the pills down gradually. Especially if Xanax, because stopping that abruptly can be very physically dangerous!

So given what you've said, I'd suggest saying these same things to your Dad, and see if he can get you some appropriate help. And keep talking to us here!

love,

Victoria
 
hi e-smooth, please go see a doctor. as someone who counsels people who have mental illness i think you have depression and i would urge you to see a health professional asap! its not uncommon for people with depression to turn to drugs like marijuana and pills and im not sure if you know, but those type of drugs worsen mental illness, particularly marijuana so if you can please try and avoid it - also i pray you are not behind the wheel and driving when on these drugs as the result could be catastrophic and you may not only injure (or worse) yourself but a completely innocent bystander in another vehicle. while the 'high' might make you feel good in the short term in the long-term they will do nothing but impede your recovery. i pray you find the strength and guidance in facing this and wish you the best.
 
PM me. I am much experienced in this field ;) you don't have to if you don't want to. But in the interests of attaining some advice/empathetic ear I think I can help you.
 
.............Wowwwwwwww:no:
I truly hope you get some help!:yes:
Take Care,oke?:yes::better::yes:
 
I think you were very brave to admit that here. Admitting to having a problem is often the first step to getting over it. It looks like you have a lot of sound advice already from people here so all I'll say is I hope you get over this tough time, and let us know how you're doing ok?
 
CatherineNZ said:
if you asked Michael the same question - what do you think he would have answered? i think he would have been really sad. may be would cry and hug you. may be would try to tell you that you should care about your family and he appreciates your care and that he loves you too. and he wants you to love life and follow your dreams. that every day is a gift and he doesnt want you to loose this gift. may be he would say "i cannot enjoy what you can now. i dont have life you have. you are so lucky. you can see the sun and the mountains, the sunrises and sunsets, you can smell the morning breeze and see the light of the morning. i cant anymore. by destroying yourself - you're destroying all that. you're destroying me too. because i never ever wanted it. and drugs is not me, it's not Michael Jackson. and it's not his fans". that's what i think he could have said.

take care. hugs
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you made it feel like michael really sad that i feel he would say something of that but i still suffer and purchase drugs again only since his death i just don't know what to do.
 
thank you guys with loving you all like family. i think i can stop. its hard but you people here are like michael jackson to m.e thats how i think and what you all say it touches me deeply. im trying to stop this on my own if not i will seek help. thank you everyone.
 
E-smooth said:
thank you guys with loving you all like family. i think i can stop. its hard but you people here are like michael jackson to m.e thats how i think and what you all say it touches me deeply. im trying to stop this on my own if not i will seek help. thank you everyone.
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e-smooth i'll give you a hug for your decision! :angel:praying that you succeed! be strong!
 
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