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June 25, 2011: How we feel today...

this might sound stupid but right now life seems pointless without michael. i cant wait to see michael again.

"Carry me to the gates of paradise"
 
I just feel glad to have experienced the Great Michael Jackson for all these years. It's always surprising to hear that someone is now getting into his music and realizing what a great person he was. I'm glad to still have those memories and wonderful feelings whenever there was a world premier of his music videos, or a much anticipated awards show performance by the one and only...What a rush. I love you Mike! Thanks for the memories :D
 
I've been really miserable I had to work 10 hours and it was awful :( I did try to tune out at 4 pm for the Major Love Prayer, I had customers in my face so there was no peace however for 5 seconds I had this vision. It had a world and a ladder on top of it, and people were walking up the ladder to heaven to see Michael. It was a beautiful vision. I felt really close to Michael for a little moment of the day. I miss him very badly and cant believe its been 2 years, I really am awaiting to see him on the other side :flowers:
 
i wish i had visions about michael...

Today i cryed over an artical about grieve that was posted here. than i saw the nice pictures of forest lawn and i felt so far away.. i wish i could be there instead of being across the world..
 
My username is my initials I didn´t think about what it meant in english, but I feel like I live in a mist.
Some days are more clear than others.
Mista is swedish and means lose and that ´s how it feels too.
I think it´s not only that he died but the circumstances around it.
 
I was at Forest Lawn but didn't really interact with other fans...I wish I had. It was a very lonely day.
 
I am still hurting so much. My depression is still really bad at times. It really doesn't take much for me to start my crying over Michael again. I am crying over him now. I can't even handle watching and listening to him anymore. And I just so totally miss doing that so extremely much. I am still wearing all black all of the time to show that I am still in mourning over him. As I always forever will be. I used to smile, laugh, and make up jokes all of the time when we still had him. I don't even bother doing that much anymore. Misery and sadness has been my new happiness ever since that horrible day. 3 times I had wanted to kill myself. Even though I am no longer suicidal. I still tend to wish I was dead. Especially since I just hate so much of having to live in a world without him in it. :sad: :boohoo:
 
Overall, it was an awful time. I spent most of the day on here, or watching/reading stuff about/by Michael. Creativity wise, the entire day was a total waste. I couldn't draw anything because my hands hurt all day. Today, they're mysteriously a lot better, but yesterday, I had the worst burning joint pains ever, no doubt worsened by my own mood and the tears I shed over the deathiversary.
 
I don't want to believe it's real...

Can't we just go back to Neverland, Michael?
 
For me, I am still as sad, angry and disgusted as I was when I heard that Michael had died. I try to mask my pain around other people, because alot of people in my life would not understand how I feel. And quite frankly, I grew tired a long time ago of getting into arguments with people about him. So I don't say a word. I don't think I'll ever get totally over Michael's death. I've accepted that he is gone. But the circumstances of his death is what will probably always bother me.
 
Right, well il put it straight :( i cant cope either ~
with this.
so im waiting on...but i dont kno what im waiting for ...so .....Im on hiatus from normal real life at the moment ~just want to get out ~want to escape . go away, you kno ? .. im on second life and i went to "visit" neverland there [in SL] reccently .
it brought some kind of creative comfort.
i brought a rose to" leave "outside the gate ~though it came back with me [cos i havnt figured out how to put objects down at the moe.]
i realy realy love the banner for MJJC . kudos to whoever thought of that .
Its beautiful .
Love to all at MJJC .
 
Last edited:
wendijane said:
Right, well il put it straight :( i cant cope either ~
with this.
so im waiting on...but i dont kno what im waiting for ...so .....Im on hiatus from normal real life at the moment ~just want to get out ~want to escape . go away, you kno ?
Click to expand...

that describes it quite well. i feel the same. waitin for this nightmare to end.
like being in a dream and i just want to escape, wanna wake up. but then i realize im in reality :(

i have no idea how to deal with this mess and when i will finally feel any better..
so im just gonna live day by day :cry:
 
I love his dusty boots in the clip Black Or White and when he tramples on the dancer in Beat It. I love when he do not know what to say and when he blush .. I love when he forgets the choreography and when he wears colorful socks... I miss him all the time .. and thank God that i live in his time.. I LOVE U MICHAEL
 
I feel angry. Really really angry.

I'm angry at how the world treated him...
 
I felt different this year, and it's weird because it feels almost worse than last year which is not what I expected. It feels that the more time goes on the further away he is. It's a hopeless feeling :(
 
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