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Moving on...

I don't think I will be 'moving on' ever really, I don't cry as much, its really once every now and again, but the pain is still there and if forever will be :(
 
I'm not sure if I've moved on or not, depending on what that means. I accept Michael is gone (well his body is no longer living) It is still hard and I miss seeing him here very much. :( It is still hard to get past the idea that it could have all been preventable if this happened or that happened. And I certainly can't get past the injustice still occurring. Knowing Murray will finally be in jail might finally make it slightly easier, but it doesn't mean I'm going to forget this place or MJ. I have no plans to stop coming here because I enjoy discussing his life and music. That will not change. And I also cannot forget about his children who still need to be protected. There's not a whole lot I can do about that situation, but I want to ensure they are protected, such as protesting when tabloids are trying to exploit them for instance. They no longer have their daddy to keep them safe. Moving on to me means not forgetting because his legacy still needs to be carried on for future generations. I guess moving on would mean being at peace with what inevitably happened because you can't change it. That is still extremely difficult. I'm not sure if I will ever be at peace with that, but hopefully it will stop consuming me from the inside.
 
lucilla said:
this is exactly what happened to me, except that i'm still trying to get some peace. i was fine at the en of the year but It's getting worse in this month :(
I know I will never ever forget him or stop defending him but i desperately need to move on, whatever that means.
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Yeah, me too...it's been horrible to see June approaching, and all my buried pain and grief rising to the surface. I don't think the fan's or the world can ever 'forget' MJ, that's literally impossible!!

I'm glad this topic has been started, cause this has been on my mind recently. How do we know when to stop grieving? I personally want to move to a place of rest in my heart, secure in the knowledge that Michael is at peace, and so should I be. Continuing to love him and upholding his message through my day to day life. That's what I want to do. I don't think it's healthy for me to be totally consumed by his thoughts 24 hours a day, and I feel I need to bring more balance into my life. After being so very heartbroken and bitter about what has happened, after being in denial and looking for answers, I think it's time now, that I move to a better place in my heart and head. There's a place in your heart and I know that it is love and ithis place be much brighter than tomorrow, and if you really try you'll find there's no need to cry, in this place I feel there's no hurt or sorrow - THERE ARE WAYS TO GET THERE - I'm determined to look for those ways..

Somethings can really help - for example I just watched a video of TP posted by qbee in a thread on here, and that really uplifted me. I want to think of Mike and be happy; glad for his life, glad for what he could accomplish and give. He had an extrodinary life and many blessings, and I think we can dwell on the negatives too much at times. There's a reason he was dogged by the media - he is the purest shining star! So naturally they had to target him, because it's unacceptable to mediocrity to have someone that prisitne.

I'll always be devoted to Michael Jackson, but I won't be sad and depressed for the rest of my life. That's no way to live. Michael doesn't want that, he doesn't need that and neither does the rest of the world. I have to remember that I will die someday, and when I do, I won't have to worry or face pain and sadness, but while I'm alive I must rise to the challenges and the opportunities, or else why am I here? I have to stop driving myself crazy demanding why Michael couldn't have had one more month to realise his dream and take the stage. I have to stop asking questions that have no answer and find some peace in my own heart. For everyone's sake.

In his own words: The pain of life touches me, but the joy of life is so much stronger. It alone will heal. Life is the healer of life.

Everyone has to do this in their own way and in their own time, but do it we must. Life is for living. I hope this doesn't seem harsh, it's not intended to be. If I could give my life to bring Michael back to the world, I would (if that was what he wanted). My only wish is to see him and embrace him with love. That will always remain. But I'd hate for us to finally meet and him to say 'Hey girl, why have you been so miserable, you didn't listen to my message did you? You were meant to be HAPPY and spread JOY, not wallow in grief.' You guys get me?

Peace and Love to all of you - this is hard, but together we can do it :huggy:
 
There are times when, just for a second, I forget that he is no longer here.. Then when I do remember I try to control the sadness and think positively by thinking of all the happiness he bought to the world and his untouchable legacy. I dont think I could completely stop from feeling the sorrow, but time is a healer and things will get better with time. So far I have not been much interested in following the Murray case.. I do want justice for Michael but thats not going to bring him back. No point just feeling angry and pissed off at the doc now, I'd rather be happy with what Michael has left us. Thats just my opinion..
 
oh wow, I need to reread it. Haven't touched that book in a while........
 
Perhaps I will sound foolish when I say this, and if so, I don't care. I never claimed to be otherwise, so here it is:

I never plan on moving on. Ever. There is nothing out there in that Michael-less world that even holds a bit of appeal to me. It's a terrible, cold, dark place out there. I look at it and I see nothing but empty movement everywhere I go. It's the illusion of movement given by the endless repetition we call "everyday life." It's the empty movement that, from June 25, 2009 on, exists without Michael. It's a world full of sound, but not meaning. It's a world I have never been part of and will never be part of.

To ask me to "move on" is to ask me to forget or somehow turn my attention from a man who means the world to me in favour of a world which means nothing to me. I am here to tell you that I would rather cut off my right arm than do that.

Do I, in a sense, "go on living" even while he's gone? Yeah, if you're blind enough to call going through a meaningless routine on a daily basis "living". In my eyes, living is something that truly happens rarely. Some people live their whole lives without truly living. They are too stuck in society's idea of what life is to realize they're losing the true opportunity while grasping at the illusion.

I will say that, even though he is gone from this plane of existence, I do feel he "goes on." He still exists. Do I have scientific evidence? No. Are such things even able to be proved by science? Who knows. All I know is that, every day that I really bother to sit down and be absorbed in the beauty of my surroundings, I feel his presence there. When I listen to his music, and I mean really listen to it (meaning not while in a subway or any other externally busy area), I feel him there. I really do, whenever I behold something beautiful in a silent moment. Whenever I truly live, in one of those eternal yet ephermal moments.

Perhaps what I feel is just the product of a grieving mind, or perhaps he really is there. Who can tell for sure? All I know is what I feel and until proven otherwise I will go on experiencing life and death that way. Why "move on" when I feel him so near?

Everyone is entitled to their say and their course of action. This is mine. Ever since June 25, my first experience with the death of someone I actually care about, I have really learned to value true life. I have learned to slow down and see the true beauty of the moment, in a world where everything is beautiful and where he is present. In a world that is universally accessible and yet a paradise lost to most people who are still "living".

So as far as I'm concerned, I'll never "move on" in that way.
 
This is a little random - but can any of you watch TII with pure excitement, joy and happiness? Or do you shed some tears here and there throughout the movie?

I still haven't opened up my DVD, so I've only seen TII once in a theater..
 
ForeverKOP said:
This is a little random - but can any of you watch TII with pure excitement, joy and happiness? Or do you shed some tears here and there throughout the movie?

I still haven't opened up my DVD, so I've only seen TII once in a theater..
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It was different seeing it at home compared to at the theatre...it was more intimate. I did get sad at parts....like the special feature where they take you through each costume Michael was going to wear etc. It's like it really hits me then...so much preparation and excitement and then.... :(
But it's so good to have it on DVD, it makes me feel closer to Mike, because I love hearing his words and getting to feel the 'place' that he was in most recently. I get the feeling he was completley present throughout all of it and loved every minute. It's just amazing, hearing him break out into 'keep on with the force don't stop..don't stop till you get enough'. It's like :bugeyed OMG Mike, you just put me in a spell right there. You can only wonder what it would be like with the proper sound, and stage and Mike in full 'audience rapturing' flow.... :doh: But maybe the world was meant to see THIS side of it and not THAT side...I believe there's a good reason.
 
ForeverKOP said:
This is a little random - but can any of you watch TII with pure excitement, joy and happiness? Or do you shed some tears here and there throughout the movie?

I still haven't opened up my DVD, so I've only seen TII once in a theater..
Click to expand...

I watched it twice in the theater and then once on DVD. I haven't watched it since.. And I don't watch too. Nor do I listen to the song This Is It. I haven't read the Opus book either, it just sits on a shelf, unopened.

I can't bring myself to enjoy all the post-June 25 releases. And I am really scared about going to a music store to buy the new album in the fall....
 
ForeverKOP said:
This is a little random - but can any of you watch TII with pure excitement, joy and happiness? Or do you shed some tears here and there throughout the movie?

I still haven't opened up my DVD, so I've only seen TII once in a theater..
Click to expand...

I haven't opened my DVD yet either, but I watched it twice in theaters, and it was hard. There was definitely a lot more sadness than happiness.
 
My siggy speaks for itself. There are times when I want to move on with my life, yet at the same time I DON'T want to move on. I hate all this. :depressed:
 
in my eyes only his body is dead
is soul and sprit will always live on.
i ofte nit and listen watch his music and
completely forget that hes passed.
till somthing tweeks me and then i realise that hes no longer here

moving on for me was being able to listen to his music
and apricatiate it without bursting in to tears.
ill awlays feel like theres somthing missing
ill never move on and stop listening to him
but ill move on a reliase that god needed him
it was just his turn. iv moved on as acepting his passing.

he will forever live oh threw his music
ill have "moved on" when its like the year 2025
and i hear billie jean or somthing blasting from someones
car that will make my day.
 
hilliver said:
We will never forget him, but for me moving on means I can listen to his music or see his picture and not feel the tears starting. It means not thinking about him every day, but he has been part of my life for so many years, I didn't even realise how often I thought about him, I think part of that is the almost daily media that was vile about him, and made you want to defend him, and it still happens.

I think he would want us to remember him with a smile rather than tears, but the sudden and suspicious way he died, and the fact that it didn't need to happen makes it harder, if it had been a heart attack or natural causes it might have been easier.

I think once the trial and any civil case is over the media will move on, and maybe we will be able to get some sort of closure as well.
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That's what moving on means to me, too. When I see pictures of Michael or listen to his music, I don't cry. We can't forget him but we can't stay sad forever!!
 
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