today is not the best day for me.. i spent the whole evening crying and I just can't stop. I miss him so much. I have this thought in my head that he is a part of the past now and it breaks me apart. This past tense is killing me. I know, I know, his music is alive, his legacy, his message..... but it's not enough. I am so depressed right now, you have no idea.
It's like you go from one day to the next thinking that you are kind of okay now, that you've learned to deal with all this and then it just hits you all over again. and you cry and cry and cry and you can't stop.
I hate this. I hate the past tense.
I do not know if my words will give you any comfort but , I have to say that we cannot change the rules of God. Human’s body is mortal but there is hope always that our souls continue their path after death. I do not like past tense myself if speaking about Michael or somebody else who was a part of my life. It is hard to take the fact that suddenly this person is gone. I lost my mother just 2 months ago and had to deal with Michael’s passing still at the same time.
I think that the most important thing we have to understand that our time will come too one day and we are here not forever and every day has a value. It is like a school. We should not waste any time.
We have to go through our life lessons just like Michael went through his and to learn how to live our OWN live without ppl we loved. It is hard, but there is nothing else we can do. We just have to accept his death and death in general as a fact which we cannot change.
For me last year was like an emotional rollercoaster and it still up and down. I spent one year, reading New Age books and participating in spiritual discussions, observing related websites to balance my emotions and my spirit.
There is a book written by Michael Newton based on his own research called “Destiny of Souls” (another one is “ Journey of Souls”) which gives many answers to many questions. Maybe you should try this one for start and see if it works for you? If you find it OK, there are many other things you can read and watch. I think it is important for us to understand our OWN spiritual path because once we understand it, life has a different meaning.
Everything changes, the world around you changes.
In some African traditions ppl say:
We do not have to think about man’s passing. We have to think about WHERE he is going ..... We all have to think WHERE we are going...
Universe is a miracle itself and our life given by God is like a little universe. We all dead or alive are little parts of One.
I do not know if my explanation was good enough to help you.
I hope you will be all right :huggy: