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Sudden sadness

Rhilo

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I'm overwhelmed by sadeness over Michael's death. It's so sudden and it feels like the first few weeks following June 25th, 2009. Maybe because I've been watching the Bad wembley concert too many times and knowing he gone - I'll never get to see him live. :cry:

Am I the only one? I was like this for about a year after his passing, but then came around. Haven't cried in months, but this weekend is a mess :cry:
 
I feel the same way.. I've never really gotten 'over' MJ's death and right now it feels a lot worse for some reason. He still should be here and that's the part that hurts so much. If only he would've gotten some help from some folks that love and really cared about him then he would be here. Unfortunately he was surrounded by greedy vultures that only cared about money and not him. And he had no one to step in and help him.
 
I so totally know how you guys feel. It is still really hard for me at times. I am like maybe 70 to 85 percent over my depression over what had happen. But believe me I will never ever be truly over with what had happen to him. Not when there will always be certain triggers that could start my crying over him again. Like yesterday morning I was feeling really good as I was listening to Michael. I was really looking forward to having the whole house to myself in the afternoon. So I can be totally alone with Michael. As I watch some of his concerts that I have. Especially the Wembley Concert. Since I had only seen the Dirty Diana performance from it. I still have yet to see the rest of the concert. All except the Man In The Mirror performance. That song has been practically poison to me ever since the memorial service. And back when we still had him it was one of my most favorite MJ songs to listen to. Now it is my most hated MJ song. Any way I still don't know what cause it. But I just started my crying over him again. And because of that I was definitely in no mood to be watching him like I had wanted to. Right now I am fine but watching him is something that is definitely out for me again today. And I will just listen to him some more later today. Though there are songs of his besides Man In The Mirror that I will never be able to listen to again. Like Smile and Gone Too Soon. Luckily I have since gone back to listen to more than half of his other songs.
 
Yea,I also sometimes have days where I just shut off and think of Michael and his impact on my life.I usually tend to get sad,especially because he became a huge part of my whole life in such a short period of time,then having him taken away in such a tragic manner makes me depressed.I'm still saddened by it to this day,but honestly,it won't bring him back by being sad.He wouldn't want us to be sad because he's gone.It's better healing to celebrate his life,career,accomplishments,etc. But yeah I definitely have my triggers as well,"Will You Be There","Gone Too Soon","Smile" definitely used to be one,but not very much lately.Just remember that even though he's been gone for three years,he had fifty amazing years on this planet and he's watching down upon every single one of us and smiling.:)
 
I think when such amazing shows with michael on it its a harsh reminder of how he is no longer with us and its painful
 
I've had those days as well. You're not alone in this feeling. Whenever there is a big MJ event/ promotion going on there is that mixture of excitement and the sadness comes with it when you realise that this is just so hollow without Michael here to cement it :(
 
Indeed, thanks for this heartfelt topic :better:
When someone has made such a 'profound' impact on your life, you just can't forget him and pretend you just can live on...
I have MORE good days now but I also have BAD days like today... I had some 'emotional' news from a colleague and I needed to go HOME cause it HITS you at moments you thought you were 'strong' or 'over it' ...

I'm currently going to the "Energy healing Centre" in my city too cause I refuse to go talk to a psych consult :beee: about it...
I've read a book about 'grieving' and it didn't HEAL me so... I FEEL Michael so CLOSE when I'm at the 'energy healing centre' and the lady who gives the 'meditation' course also says I don't have to let him go if my connection is that strong...

It's such a fine 'border' or should I say 'silk thread' cause I still have my 'triggers' too...

To end on a positive note here... Whenever, I feel :cry: I listen to Michael... Each morning, I have an hour of 'earphone' music that 'allows' me to eat and be nice to other peeps as I'm following a 'job course' now...
I 'managed' to BLOCK 'his loss' off... Michael LIVES in HEAVEN :angel:
As long as the 'BLOCK' thingy works, I don't FALL apart...

HUGS to all :better:
 
To me, it's painful but it's also wonderful. Just watching Michael is poetry in motion, his voice is like listening to an angel sing. His talent is beyond measure. He left behind such a amazing legacy which will run forever. Michael the man would hate to think that his fans were miserable, unhappy and depressed. He himself went through so much and he empathised with all who were feeling troubled. Sending a big hug to my fellow fans who are being reminded of their loss by the new release. As Maya Angelou said 'we had him' and he will forever live on in our hearts. Keep the faith. :flowers:
 
Ashtanga said:
................... :cry:
Click to expand...

:better:

I found something that really HELPS me... to overcome my 'sadness'...
GUIDED MEDITATIONS...
Michael in 'body form' or 'spirit form' always 'pops' up there and it's so HEALING... :angel:to spend some moments with him :blush:

HUGS :better:
 
I don't think any of us will ever get over his death..:no: I mean, a man so talented, hard-working,loving, sweet, gentle, gorgeous inside and out..GONE forever..yes it hurts so bad, even writing it down..:black_eye: thinking about it is even worst. I've had the same feeling but not just by watching the Wembley show, it can happen with a picture, a song..any thing will trigger my sadness and my eyes get watery or I start crying, plain and simple. He was one of a kind, unique really, the fact we won't ever get to meet him personally and tell him how special he was and how much he means to us, is really heartbreaking.:( Pfff..the man was..has been, IS one of the most important/beloved persons to me,besides family and pets, so yeah, I totally know how many of you feel. :cry::cry::cry:
 
I also know how you guys feel. Ever since getting my Bad 25 deluxe it made me realized just how badly I still miss Michael. And I still tend to wonder how different it would have been if we still had him. I haven't really been listening to it for the past couple of days or so. Nor have I gotten myself back to watching more of that Wembley Concert. The way I have been feeling for the past week or so I just really have been unable too. Even though I did say before my Bad 25 deluxe came in the mail. How much I couldn't wait to get back to being a hardcore fan of his again. Of course that was before I knew I was going to have that horrible flashback I was starting to get that night. When I was watching the Dirty Diana performance from the Wembley Concert. And was planning to see the Billie Jean performance right afterwards. Ever since that horrible incident that happen to me back on that one October night of 2009. I have not been able to watch one of Michael's Billie Jean performances. And I have always just so totally L.O.V.E. watching them. Billie Jean has always been my most watch MJ performance. I just wish I could get myself back to feeling how I was about a month ago. When I was feeling so very happy and excited over Bad 25. And how I just couldn't wait to get mine in the mail. Especially to see that Wembley Concert I so badly wanted to see. But until I could feel that way again. It is really best that I avoid watching him again. Though it is hard since I had put my Helsinki HIStory Concert back on my laptop again. Because of the fact it just felt so totally great of watching him again. Something I haven't done since May of 2010. I still just so totally miss the days when I could watch Michael for a good few hours or so straight. Without a single problem. Of course we still had him when I could do this.:boohoo
 
I have this happen too. I still have issues watching his videos and I try to keep those feelings very private
I found something that really HELPS me... to overcome my 'sadness'...
GUIDED MEDITATIONS...
Michael in 'body form' or 'spirit form' always 'pops' up there and it's so HEALING... to spend some moments with him
Click to expand...
I did one for those recently (a death based one) he was the second person to show up in the room of the three (first was my grandma who passed when I was Ten and my fiance was the third) though he didn't say anything I still knew he smiled at me and cared deeply.
I cryed very hard afterward. I felt very lonely after the meditation finish but better after crying (the guide was jelous at how easily I cryed too)
 
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