HELP! Can I really still be hurting??

[Beccabubbles]

Hello ppl,

I'm a newbie on here and have been searching for a place to talk about how i feel about Michael for some time. Since he left us, its been really really hard for me as no one in my family and none of my friends are fans of Michael, at all.
So no1 was really even bothered that he was gone, and I've tryed talking to my close family and friends about how much I'm truly, deeply hurting and missing Michael so much.
But they all think I'm weird saying " you didn't even know him " and " you should feel ashamed - you don't deserve to be acting or feeling like this cause ur not his family and you weren't his friend". I guess they're right, but i can't help it.

So i've tryed to keep my feelings locked away inside, only letting myself cry in secret and try to get over us all loosing Michael by listening to his music as much as possible and watching videos on you tube, which does help. But not talking about it is so hard when Michael being gone still plays on my mind and how can it really still hurt so much???

Michael was such a huge part of my life. His music got me through some real tough times and I've always admired and been in awe of his amazing gift of more talent than i could comprehend.
I guess I'm asking for help - from all you people out there who may still be dealing with loosing Michael, to see that I really am not alone in how i feel - I know i surly can't be.
Thank you so much for taking your time to read this and please reply with your thoughts and feelings.

Love to all,

Rebecca

xxx

 

[Michaeliscious]

It takes time hun...........
Lots and lots of people still feel the pain and it will last. But don't forget what he left us!!! All of his music and short films are still here!!!!

 

[Beccabubbles]

Thank you, Its so hard when no one else around me sees in him what we see.
And I don't belivie that they can't even just try and see how important he was to us and except that our love for him was genuine and there for out grief is too.
I really feel like i've lost a life long friend - because his music has been there for me in the good times and the bad. Why is that wierd? I wish they'd understand.
R xxx

 

[GoldenLady]

Thank you, Its so hard when no one else around me sees in him what we see.
And I don't belivie that they can't even just try and see how important he was to us and except that our love for him was genuine and there for out grief is too.
I really feel like i've lost a life long friend - because his music has been there for me in the good times and the bad. Why is that wierd? I wish they'd understand.
R xxx

Aww. I feel the same way. At first my family supported me a bit, but after awhile seeing that I was still stuck on him they basically told me to shut up about him now. well not in those exact words. But i'm also still hurting. Even though watching old interviews, music videos, and listening to his music can get me really down at times and crying I still do it because it is the only thing that we have left of him. I'm still kind of in denial thinking that one day he will just pop back up and say "hey guys I'm back." I really miss him but I still feel his prescence. So YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!

 

[Beccabubbles]

Aww. I feel the same way. At first my family supported me a bit, but after awhile seeing that I was still stuck on him they basically told me to shut up about him now. well not in those exact words. But i'm also still hurting. Even though watching old interviews, music videos, and listening to his music can get me really down at times and crying I still do it because it is the only thing that we have left of him. I'm still kind of in denial thinking that one day he will just pop back up and say "hey guys I'm back." I really miss him but I still feel his prescence. So YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!

I knew it, i knew i wasn't the only one feeling like this - and i know it sounds really self centred and ignorant to think that. But in my imeadiate world that is how it is - no1 understands!
So thanks so much, I think talking about it here is going to be a great help.
I watch some of the vids knowing they will make me cry, but it is like you say, healing and i guess its a way of keeping him as alive as possible.
But I guess if we just all pour out our hearts here with like minded people then we won't have to have people say stuff like that to us!
And I do the same about thinking its all a lie, it almost comes as a shock all over again everytime i remember that he is gone form this earth. Even now, writing it, i get a lump in my throat, a knot in my stomach and tears well up in my eyes. Oh god, it still hurts so bad :'( I miss him xxx

 

[gerryevans]

You are definitely not alone. In fact, I wrote an earlier post today saying the same thing.

Before I found this board, I thought I was losing my marbles because I was grieving Michael like a real family member. It has been so reassuring to know that he just touched many many many many of us so profoundly that he felt like family.

This is a great board. I'm glad you and I both found it.

 

[GameGirlAdvance]

Michael was one those people who just...just enchanted people..When someone enchants you that much..It's hard to let them go...Especially if it's someone who was completely innocent..and thats what Michael was..He had an innocent aura around him and a gentle nature that is very uncommen in todays world..

He was widely loved...and I'm absoloutly sure he meant it when he said he loved all of us..I don't think there will be another like him...

 

[Beccabubbles]

You are definitely not alone. In fact, I wrote an earlier post today saying the same thing.

Before I found this board, I thought I was losing my marbles because I was grieving Michael like a real family member. It has been so reassuring to know that he just touched many many many many of us so profoundly that he felt like family.

This is a great board. I'm glad you and I both found it.

I can't tell you how good it feels to hear other people say they feel the same way.
And although i was not shocked at my reaction when i found out he had gone, I am surprised that it is still so very raw, and like you said, it really feels lke i have personaly lost someone very close to me. I always felt the things he said and sung - it was like he really got me, without even knowing me, he got who i am , what i am about, shared the same views about the world as me and I loved him for that. He was said to be missunderstood, and I guess by a lot of ppl he was. I would like to think that we knew, we got who and what he was about.
And this board is great, i only found it today and i'm luvin it already.
Thank you.
R
xxx

 

[tinkerbella]

How i feel you too... I cant seem to get my act together... I miss him more than words can describe, and i feel dead inside... I have no tears left... But my love for him will never go away, and i truly know that. I fell inlove with him many years ago. I know it sounds strange, but i would marry him and have his children in a heartbeat.... People around me dont understand how Michael`s death sould have such an enormous effect on me, and i think they too just want me to shut up about him... I honor him and remeber him everyday, and have as an dance teacher devoted 3 songs in my program to him (i would have chosen a lot more if my boss alowed it though)... Remermber his words.. You Are NOT Alone... i feel him in every breese, and see his love though his lyrics......

 

[Neeve]

Believe me, you are not alone. There are lots of us here who still can't believe that it hurts so much even now. You don't have to hide your pain here, we're all supporting one another. Welcome! :better:

 

[Beccabubbles]

Michael was one those people who just...just enchanted people..When someone enchants you that much..It's hard to let them go...Especially if it's someone who was completely innocent..and thats what Michael was..He had an innocent aura around him and a gentle nature that is very uncommen in todays world..

He was widely loved...and I'm absoloutly sure he meant it when he said he loved all of us..I don't think there will be another like him...

That is a really good way to put it. You are so right, he was absoulutly enchanting.....magic even. I've always thought that he has a very special aura, and maybe he was sent to us to spread joy an love around the world because no-one can deny how completly pure he was.
And that kind of purity that he had was one of complete uniqueness - there will never be any1 like him again.
He was so increadably special. And so, so well loved. I hope he knew that.
R xxx

 

[Neeve]

Michael was one those people who just...just enchanted people..When someone enchants you that much..It's hard to let them go...Especially if it's someone who was completely innocent..and thats what Michael was..He had an innocent aura around him and a gentle nature that is very uncommen in todays world..

He was widely loved...and I'm absoloutly sure he meant it when he said he loved all of us..I don't think there will be another like him...

That is a really good way to put it. You are so right, he was absoulutly enchanting.....magic even. I've always thought that he has a very special aura, and maybe he was sent to us to spread joy an love around the world because no-one can deny how completly pure he was.
And that kind of purity that he had was one of complete uniqueness - there will never be any1 like him again.
He was so increadably special. And so, so well loved. I hope he knew that.
R xxx

you're both so right. Michael is like, a super-evolved soul. Almost like an angel :wub: And all the pain he had to go through...it breaks my heart.

 

[Julia]

Hello ppl,

I'm a newbie on here and have been searching for a place to talk about how i feel about Michael for some time. Since he left us, its been really really hard for me as no one in my family and none of my friends are fans of Michael, at all.
So no1 was really even bothered that he was gone, and I've tryed talking to my close family and friends about how much I'm truly, deeply hurting and missing Michael so much.
But they all think I'm weird saying " you didn't even know him " and " you should feel ashamed - you don't deserve to be acting or feeling like this cause ur not his family and you weren't his friend". I guess they're right, but i can't help it.

So i've tryed to keep my feelings locked away inside, only letting myself cry in secret and try to get over us all loosing Michael by listening to his music as much as possible and watching videos on you tube, which does help. But not talking about it is so hard when Michael being gone still plays on my mind and how can it really still hurt so much???

Michael was such a huge part of my life. His music got me through some real tough times and I've always admired and been in awe of his amazing gift of more talent than i could comprehend.
I guess I'm asking for help - from all you people out there who may still be dealing with loosing Michael, to see that I really am not alone in how i feel - I know i surly can't be.
Thank you so much for taking your time to read this and please reply with your thoughts and feelings.

Love to all,

Rebecca

xxx

You are not alone I understand exactly how you feel. There are times even now when I still burst into tears at random times of the day. I am listening to his music and watching his dvds constantly because when I hear him and see him it feels like he is close to me.

My friends don't understand they say aren't you over that yet and they must know by saying that it would hurt me. The world changed for me when Michael died I see everything differently now. I come here so I can be with people who feel the way I do so I know I am not alone.

I miss you Michael more and more everyday.

Julia

 

[Beccabubbles]

How i feel you too... I cant seem to get my act together... I miss him more than words can describe, and i feel dead inside... I have no tears left... But my love for him will never go away, and i truly know that. I fell inlove with him many years ago. I know it sounds strange, but i would marry him and have his children in a heartbeat.... People around me dont understand how Michael`s death sould have such an enormous effect on me, and i think they too just want me to shut up about him... I honor him and remeber him everyday, and have as an dance teacher devoted 3 songs in my program to him (i would have chosen a lot more if my boss alowed it though)... Remermber his words.. You Are NOT Alone... i feel him in every breese, and see his love though his lyrics......

Thank you. It doesn't sound strange because he was so super talented, such a wonderful person and so very easy to love.
Its so comfoting to hear your thoughts and feelings and i feel so much more.... "normal" i guess that other people are feeling the same raw loss and emotion and complete sadness that i am.
I will always love him and never ever forget him. And I know that we will never let his muisic just dissapear, so in that way he will live forever.
R xxx

 

[Beccabubbles]

you're both so right. Michael is like, a super-evolved soul. Almost like an angel :wub: And all the pain he had to go through...it breaks my heart.

I think maybe he was a sort of angel - and I'm convinced that's where he is now, dancing with the Angels.
And it is due to the people in this world who always look for the bad, that want to belive the lies, the ignorent, the media that caused him so much pain. And i don't think i've ever been so hurt and angry for him than when he did that interview and showed the pictuers of the injuries he recived at the hands of the police - oh god, so so so awful. I cryed so hard for him. But at least they can't hurt him anymore. He is forever safe now, that i guess is a blessing.
xxx

 

[Neeve]

I think maybe he was a sort of angel - and I'm convinced that's where he is now, dancing with the Angels.
And it is due to the people in this world who always look for the bad, that want to belive the lies, the ignorent, the media that caused him so much pain. And i don't think i've ever been so hurt and angry for him than when he did that interview and showed the pictuers of the injuries he recived at the hands of the police - oh god, so so so awful. I cryed so hard for him. But at least they can't hurt him anymore. He is forever safe now, that i guess is a blessing.
xxx

:yes:
xxx

 

[Beccabubbles]

You are not alone I understand exactly how you feel. There are times even now when I still burst into tears at random times of the day. I am listening to his music and watching his dvds constantly because when I hear him and see him it feels like he is close to me.

My friends don't understand they say aren't you over that yet and they must know by saying that it would hurt me. The world changed for me when Michael died I see everything differently now. I come here so I can be with people who feel the way I do so I know I am not alone.

I miss you Michael more and more everyday.

Julia

You are right, i defanatly feel that here is the right place to be, where we can express our feelings without being judged. With ppl that understand what we are all going through and we can try to help each other.
I really feel so uncontrolably sad sometimes, it seems to come in waves.
And having no one around to share that with is so hard. So this bored is perfect.
R
xxx

 

[blue_eyed_belle]

I thank the MJJC team every day for providing us with somewhere to come and share our thoughts, feelings and chat about all things Michael and non-Michael related. I have been hurting a lot recently too, and this forum is fantastic - there are people from all walks of life on here, all sharing something in common, and it is a place of respect too. I wish that more people understood Michael and what he stood for in life, but unfortunately there are those who won't listen.

Welcome to the family though, glad you found us! if you need anyone to chat to we're here! xxx

 

[Beccabubbles]

I thank the MJJC team every day for providing us with somewhere to come and share our thoughts, feelings and chat about all things Michael and non-Michael related. I have been hurting a lot recently too, and this forum is fantastic - there are people from all walks of life on here, all sharing something in common, and it is a place of respect too. I wish that more people understood Michael and what he stood for in life, but unfortunately there are those who won't listen.

Welcome to the family though, glad you found us! if you need anyone to chat to we're here! xxx

Awww, thanx so much, every1 on here has been so wonderful.
I'm so humbled because I really dont have ne1 to talk to about anything Michael related and now I just feel so accepted strait away - i'm really moved.
I hope that the people who didn't listen realise how wrong they were about Michael and can one day see him through our eyes, as he truly was, Angelic.
Thanx again every1.
Love and hugs,
R xxx