A Very Special Conversation with Frank Cascio
By Valmai Owens Sat, Dec 17, 2011
It’s not often one gets a chance to sit down and have a personal conversation with someone who was close to Michael, especially one who was as close to him as anyone could be for over 25 of his life. Frank Cascio graciously and willingly gave up three hours of his time to meet with me and Lauren, on a chilly, Monday afternoon in L.A. Funny, gracious, intelligent, humble and sincere, Frank gave us an insight into his unique life with Michael, and into the man himself, but we also saw and heard with our own eyes and ears, the truth, honesty and love behind his words. It is three hours I will never forget.
Valmai: Frank, I would really like to talk about your book. I would like to know specifically if you had any problems getting a publisher interested, because basically it is a positive book about Michael’s life, but many publishers don’t want that; they want the negative input. In mentioning the drug issue, do you think that altered their decision?
Frank: Actually, no. I think first and foremost, when Michael passed I was not thinking about writing a book whatsoever. That was the last thing on my mind. It really changed my life, really opened my eyes. I had a unique experience, and it could be a new perspective. It changed my priorities and what I wanted, because I realized life is too short and you shouldn’t take every day for granted—you never know.
When Michael passed it was like losing a father, so, to this day, part of me is missing. There are so many times I just wish we could talk—he always seemed to make things better. If I was having a down day, he’d just say the right things to motivate you to conquer the world and I miss that. And, there are so many things about him. Just hanging out, talking, having a conversation, family events. He and I used to go shopping for presents and he’d say, “No, no, no, we should get this jacket for your brother…”, or, “This shirt is for my cousin…”
He was the greatest teacher in the world and such a great father, and not just to his children, but to other people in an indirect way. It was like one big family. His fans meant a lot to him. I hope they realize how much they really meant to him, because they kept him going. Fans gave him motivation and he never wanted to let them down; let anyone down.
Valmai: Did that put pressure on him though? Did he feel that he had to live up to any expectations?
Frank: No, the only pressure he had was what he put on himself. He always wanted to outdo himself. I remember him telling me stories. When Off the Wall was a really big, huge success, he wasn’t satisfied. He would say, “I’m going to make the biggest selling album of all time.” And he did it...he was so mentally strong. He was really connected with God, and with universe.
Lauren: Was he always like that?
Frank: He was a human being, but don’t get me wrong, he was just definitely touched by God. He had something a little more than the average person. Yes, he was a human being and he had his faults, but he was different—he was almost like an angel living on earth. He would walk in a room and captivate everyone. We would go out in disguise, shopping or to have dinner, and he’d be all wrapped up, nobody could see his face, but he had this aura about him and people knew it was him. Just his aura and presence was so strong and captivating.
Lauren: Did you ever sit back and say to yourself, “Oh my God, this is Michael Jackson I’m sitting with?”
Frank: It’s funny, because I met him as Michael, my friend. I grew up with him and he’d been a family friend for years. I remember going to a concert and I turned to my father and said, “Is the same Michael Jackson who comes to our house?” I didn’t put two and two together. I really didn’t.
Lauren: And even as you got older that didn’t happen to you?
Frank: Yes, and no. I’d make jokes, “These people aren’t here to see you; they’re here to see me.” But, I have to say, when he’d go on that stage and perform, I could sit there and watch that show every single day.
Lauren: And you saw all of his concerts?
Frank: I saw all the shows. On the Dangerous and HIStory Tours, every single night I’d sit on the side of the stage and just watch the show. Sometimes, we’d be under the stage and he’d get in the toaster and say, “Alright, Frank, I’m going to pop out of this toaster now.” He’d say, “Alright, enjoy the show. See you after the second show”, or he’d make a comment, “Go tell Turkle to put a breath mint in her mouth. I don’t want to go back there and have her kill me with her breath”, in a joking way. He loved Karen Faye. Then he would pop out of the toaster and all of a sudden he transformed into this other being. It never got old, especially when he did “Billie Jean”…it was just incredible!
In the moment, that was my normality, and my reality. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t take it for granted, but looking back on it now, I was truly, truly blessed. I wish I could say I could give that back to my children when I have them, but I don’t really think that will ever be possible. I can give back to my children my experiences and what I’ve learned in a different way, take a lot of what Michael taught me and my children will be able to experience him in that way.
It will never happen again with anyone.
Lauren: What was it like when you were very little and he would visit in the middle of the night? I can imagine that…”Oh, yeah, Michael’s here”, and jumping out of bed. Your folks had no idea he was coming? He would just show up?
Frank: He made it kind of special, I mean, he was the most famous man in the world. He just came off, Off the Wall or Thriller, and he made a point to drive 35 to 40 minutes outside the city just to come say hello and spend some time with us—out of his own time, and then drive back. He didn’t have to do that. We were very fortunate.
You know, I think God has an ultimate purpose. Sometimes, we don’t realize or understand why people come in and out of our lives. Nothing is forever and you’re lucky if you have a friendship that lasts even a year. It wasn’t a coincidence that our relationship lasted over 25 years.
Valmai: You and Michael bonded very quickly and made a connection as a child/adult. Why do you think that was? Why do you think that bond was so strong?
Frank: I think it was several things. I think first and foremost he loved my parents. He had a lot of respect for my father and my mother. He really connected with my father; he saw what kind of person he was. My father took care of him and he treated him with respect; he didn’t look at him as a pop star. They became friends and then Michael wanted to meet the rest of the family.
He fell in love with my mother. My mother reminded him of his mother, Katherine. He would say, “You have no idea, your mother is just like my mother, sweet, humble, loving, caring, giving to everyone”. Anybody who comes to the house, anybody, my mother is the first one to make sure they feel right at home, that everyone is fed and taken care of. My house is like the hub…no matter who it is. It’s like a hotel; people come in for a cup of coffee; the door is always open.
Michael and I had a connection, where we were somehow connected, and I can’t even explain it. Sometimes he would call out of the blue, randomly, and say, “Frank, are you ok?” I’m like, “Yeah, why?” And he’d say, “I just felt like you were a little down to it.” He would be on the other side of the world and I’d think, well I am a little down today. And he’d say, “Yeah, I felt it. Don’t worry about it; everything’s going to be fine”. We would communicate even without having to say a word; we’d just have to look at each other and I knew exactly what he was thinking and he knew what I was thinking. We didn’t even have to speak. That was very helpful in meetings…we’d look at each other and it would be like, “Alright, I think it’s time to go now.” We were connected somehow telepathically.
We’d go out shopping and we’d talk some random language. We understood what we were saying, but it wasn’t a language, really. It was like Borat, before Borat came out! Screaming in the middle of Virgin Records or at a restaurant, “The Prince wants to eat chicken wings”. And we’d speak a random language, and he’d get mad, throw his hands up in the air and sometimes hit the table…it was fun, like comic relief and an escape.
It’s very difficult to give Michael Jackson anything, but one thing we could give him was unconditional love, sincerity, loyalty and a safe place where he felt comfortable to be himself. My whole family made it so he didn’t feel like he was judged; he could walk around the house in his pajamas, socks, penny loafers and t-shirts. Sometimes, he’d wear two different color socks…he just felt like he could be himself. He felt safe and we truly loved him for him, not as the superstar. It was such a sincere love that we had together as a family; it made him feel safe; made him feel like he had a surrogate family. Whether at the house or at the ranch, it gave him family, love, and sincerity, not just people looking at him or wanting something from him or…he wasn’t judged. That’s why the relationship lasted for 25 years. You see a lot of people, who come in and out of his life, friends, then they’d disappear, and another friend and family would come in, and they would disappear. We were the only ones who were constant.
And how wonderfull you thought because of what i said of michael 
