I can only share my thoughts and observations since I, just like none of us, can say for sure what was really going on in his life. My short version is: He was too trusting and had the wrong people around him. At the same time…he also created an environment for leeches and I’m not sure he would take no for an answer, so there is some responsibility resting on him as well. But mostly I see him as a victim of gold diggers, sycophants, leeches, vampires (as Lisa Marie would call them)…
I have been a fan since 1987 and have followed everuthing MJ has been doing since then. Watched every interview I could get my hands on and I also saw him live, close up, several times during the years. In 1992, 1995, 1996, 1997, 1999, 2002 and 2009. I hung out at his hotels and saw how he interacted with fans, got to go to an amusement park with him, etc.
When I saw Michael in London in 2009, my observation was that he was TOTALLY EXCITED! OVERJOYED! People say he was high or drunk on stage during the press conference, I disagree. He just seemed GIDDY! As in ”I’m SO EXCITED, I can’t contain myself!!!!” I was in the front rows and saw him well. It was the same when he was at the hotel window with his children after the press conference. He just seemed HAPPY and EXCITED. Also when he left his hotel to go see the musical Oliver, he came to greet the fans and seemed to enjoy being there. So having seen his PURE JOY, I do genuinly think that he was excited about the shows. People also talk about the 50 shows like he would’ve needed to do 50 shows back to back to back. He had about 2-3 shows per week, with a MONTHS break in between. He definitely would’ve been able to do it both physically and mentally.
BUT….I do agree that he was INCREDIABLY thin when I saw him in London. Thinner than I had ever seen him. Also, the vibe at the hotel, especially before the press conference was different, which did concern me at the time because it felt like someone was trying to keep Michael separated from the fans. He also had hardly any staff with him. He used to ALWAYS travel with a minimum of two bodyguards of his own. In London he only had Alberto with him. The rest were hired help from London who left in the evening. I also don’t know if he had a nanny or governess or a PA with him, I didn’t see one. He also used to ALWAYS have his own camera man with him, filming everything where ever he went. He had Karen Faye and Michael Bush usually always with him if he travelled for any kind of public appearance. They weren’t there. I’m guessing the trial cost him so much, not only financially, but also due to loss of income, that he had to try to save money and cut his staff into a minimum. Micharl used to ALWAYS send his bodyguard down to pick up presents for him and to bring fans into his hotel room to meet him. There was none of that in London. So because of that, he did seem more distant.
I also agree that after 2000 he seems ”different” at times. I don’t know if it was due to being heavily medicated, high, or if it was due to too much botox and that’s why he seemed different (remember the stiff upper lip in the beginning of 2000, when his upper lip didn’t seem to move at all?)…but I did notice a difference. Especially around 2000-2003. Which is weird because it pretty much was before the trial. It could’ve been because of using pain meds for the back pain or could’ve been things ending with Lisa Marie that hit him hard (remember that they still dated and saw each other and tried again until late 1998, despite their divorce…It seemed to have a similar effect on Lisa Marie…it seemed her life went downhill after their final break up too and seemed like she never really recovered from it either…). Or could’ve been both together…back pain (physical pain) mixed with trying to get over Lisa (mental pain). Mental pain can make physical pain feel stronger, so maybe he was trying to numb both sources of pain: mental and physical. He was also a single dad trying to raise 2-3 kids by himself, which surely, even though his children definitely made him happy, definitely robbed him of some sleep and energy too. He wasalso EXTREMELY hard on himself and a perfectionist, so I think he also struggled with the transition from vinyl and CDs to digital because it robbed him of album sales, which meant less income and less copies sold. While selling over 10 MILLION copies is a number a lot of artists can only DREAM of and will never achieve during their whole career…people called it a ”flop” in MJ standards, even though there wasn’t much he could’ve done because of the whole album leaking before it was even released. But I’m sure it added to the pressure. Then there was the problems with Sony which added more pressure and it was CLEAR that he thought someone is going to kill him diring 2002 because he wore a bullet proof vest under his clothes.,He clearly was under a lot of pressure.
Another factor was having all the wrong people around him. Bad business advice and bad business deals. He most likely kept spending as he had always done, even though his income became less. I mean, he did own the Sony/ATV catalogue that was worth a billion and was able to get loans with it. But I’m sure it all added to the pressure. And maybe having the catalogue made him think he can keep spending because he has billions. Who also knows what his advisers told him? Did anyone keep track and tell him? Did he listen? Was his bookkeeping accurate? Or did people keep putting money into their own pockets on the side? I read somewhere that Grace bought a luxury apartment in Vegas with MJ’s money, wothout him knowing and that was what led to her being fired. If it’s true…I have no idea, but it wouldn’t be the first rich celebrity whose money disappears into the pockets of people around rhen that they trusted.
As a nurse, I can’t really put the blame on Michael for any possible substance use problems. Especially after seeing how doctors treated him. He was a clear victim of greedy, unethical and unprofessional doctors. Yes, he probably asked or even demanded to be goven some of the meds, like Propofol for example. It’s the job of the doctor to say NO!! Patients and their parents ask us to do all kinds of things all the time. It’s our job to inform them and try to find a better solution. Michael wasn’t a doctor, so no one can put the blame on him for using certain meds the wrong way. For example, Murray (I refuse to call him a doctor!!) practically was FEEDING an addiction. He was actually CAUSING an addiction with his ”treatment”. Benzos are highly addictive, Propofol not so much. So for Murray to keep giving MJ benzos was actually what probably caused most of MJ’s physical problems and insomnia. Murray should have refused treating MJ and should’ve sent him to a specialist instead. There were all these doctors enabling the wrong use. Again….Michael was NOT a doctor. While he may have thought Propofol is great to get some sleep, the DOCTOR, had he been a professional and an ethical doctor, would’ve trued to look for the cause instead and would’ve tried to help Michael with the RIGHT treatment or would’ve sent him to see someone else who is an expert. But even all the doctors got blinded by greed and just took the money and ran, without caring at ALL about Michael.
But there was also things that Michael was guilty of, as we got to hear from Lisa Marie. He surrounded himself with yes-men. Anyone who disagreed or tried to talk him iut of anything most likely had to go. Lisa Marie tried…..Michael sent her away. So he hinself also was partly responsible for creating the dangerous environment. Pair that with him being too trusting and allowing random families and fans way too close….well, we know where all that lead.
On the other hand even the people he (and we all) thought je could trust betrayed him one by one or wanted something from him or tried to use him or their connection to him to get rich or they abandoned him as soon as being associated with him wasn’t beneficial to them any longer. He really could NOT trust anyone. I think Mac, Chris, Elizabeth, Emmanuel, The White family, Bill, Wayne, Dave Dave and the Schleiter family are the only ones who were his TRUE friends and never betrayed him or tried to benefit from him. But all the others…Brooke, Diana, Robsons, Safechucks, Arvizos, Cascios, etc. all pretty much betrayed him or abandoned him.
All that must’ve taken a toll on him. However, I do think that Michael looked to be doing pretty well around 2006-2009. He was EXTREMELY thin but seemed happy and content orher wise and seemed ”clear” as in not under the influence of anything during that time. I think what went wrong in 2009 was the lack of scheduling skills on ARG Live’s part. They gave Michael way too little time to create and rehearse the show, the whole ticket system was BS…..then the cancellation which caused a lot of fans to lose money…and it just pretty much went to hell in a handbasket after that. I think having the pressure from AEG to get the show done, fans being angry (I take responsibility for my own part in it because I was SO PISSED OFF about the ticket prices, bad seats where you would not have been able to see anything and then the cancellation and losing all my savings!!)….snd all that paired with bad doctors was what finally caused his death. HOWEVER……..I’m also still not completely convinced that there wasn’t some intentional foul play involved. I can’t rule a murder completely out. They used a med that would not have appeared in the toxicology report, had they not caught Murray trying to clean up and hide the meds. Remember, Murray NEVER said what he had given to MJ. So I can’t rule a murder, and Murray just being the middle man who finished the job, completely out.
I thought you were saying that I was buying into the crazy conspiracy theories. I was like, hell no 
I apologize!
