Today is such a weird day for me. As cruel it might sound, I kind of blocked Michael out of my mind for a long time. I don't know why, but I tried to think less and less of him, stopped visiting fanboards (and if I did, I only read the non MJ related topics), didn't payed any attention to 'Michael'. Whenever I started to think of Michael, everything just seemed like a vague memory, something that happened a long time ago.
I guess I did this, cause im some way...it still hurts. I'm listening to Better on the Other Side right now..I remember the day when this song came out. I couldn't stop crying, all of these emotions I felt that summer of 2009 are starting to come back to me right now at this very moment. I just miss how things were, being happy when we saw new pictures of him shopping, talking and getting excited about the TII concerts, when Hold my Hand was leaked...I just get so frustrated when I think, that we will never get moments like those back..I guess that's why I wasn't excited about ''Michael''..nothing feels the same anymore now that he's gone.
In someway I feel like I let him down, when he passed away it was my goal to keep his legacy alive. Lately I've done nothing that shows that I even care bout him. It wasn't untll I just listened to Better on the Other Side, that I realized that he still means so much to me...
I'm sorry MJ...R.I.P
I just want the old days back, so so so badly