Counselling "room"?

[Kane]

I've seen this on alot of other forums and it works to great effect. All I'm thinking is that maybe it would be good to setup some type of support section that only the Support Team would be able to read but any member would be able to post in there and see only the thread they created - if that makes sense. I think one of the problems is that people don't want to openly talk about their problems and I know some people don't like PM'ing so maybe it would be a good thing for having "sessions" were several members of the Support Team would be able to post in the thread and of course because the team are the only ones able to read the threads, the members might be able to talk alot more openly.

I hope that makes sense

 

[Autumn II]

I've seen this on alot of other forums and it works to great effect. All I'm thinking is that maybe it would be good to setup some type of support section that only the Support Team would be able to read but any member would be able to post in there and see only the thread they created - if that makes sense. I think one of the problems is that people don't want to openly talk about their problems and I know some people don't like PM'ing so maybe it would be a good thing for having "sessions" were several members of the Support Team would be able to post in the thread and of course because the team are the only ones able to read the threads, the members might be able to talk alot more openly.

I hope that makes sense

Thanks. That makes a lot of sense. However, the Support Team cannot replace the face-to-face contact with a therapist. The great thing about the Support Forum is that what is given is "peer counseling." That means that sometimes the people who have experienced a similar loss know exactly what a grieving person is going through. After major disasters such as airline crashes, there are professional counselors, but there are also "peer counselors" brought it. . . people who have also lost family members and other loved-ones in similar ways. They KNOW what the survivors are going through. As we do, here.

Officially, we have only TWO Support Team members. . myself, and Mechi, and neither one of us is functioning here in the role of professional counselors. Two would not be enough, regardless. You are ALL valuable here for support. The love and caring in the threads has been truly wonderful.

What you're talking about here, I think, is the need for privacy for some in distress. I hope members know that they can always PM me or Mechi. However, if someone is in serious trouble, there is only so much we can do on the internet. We urge those who are suffering badly to seek professional help, in addition to the peer support we offer here. Hope that explains?

Vic

 

[Kane]

Thank you for the reply, Victoria. That explains it perfectly, I can understand how hard it would be especially without being trained in therapy or some type of counselling.

 

[Autumn II]

Thank you for the reply, Victoria. That explains it perfectly, I can understand how hard it would be especially without being trained in therapy or some type of counselling.

Thanks. Even with professional training, online support can only do so much. If someone is in emotional agony, they really need to be under the care of a counselor -- someone they can talk to face-to-face and who can evaluate their situation, offer medication if needed, and so on.

 

[Kane]

Thanks. Even with professional training, online support can only do so much. If someone is in emotional agony, they really need to be under the care of a counselor -- someone they can talk to face-to-face and who can evaluate their situation, offer medication if needed, and so on.

I think that's whats so difficult on here. The support that everybody gives is so great, especially to you and Mechi who are constantly trying to help members here, and this section is great too because it gives people somewhere to express their emotions but sometimes it just feels almost... I don't know... useless. I know it isn't as the members may still find some peace from what we all post but there's been several members who I really worry and feel bad for but just have no idea what to say or do, as without face to face or actually talking to them, it's just so limited. But, I suppose all we can do is keep offering our support and try to get each other through it as a community.

 

[Autumn II]

I think that's whats so difficult on here. The support that everybody gives is so great, especially to you and Mechi who are constantly trying to help members here, and this section is great too because it gives people somewhere to express their emotions but sometimes it just feels almost... I don't know... useless. I know it isn't as the members may still find some peace from what we all post but there's been several members who I really worry and feel bad for but just have no idea what to say or do, as without face to face or actually talking to them, it's just so limited. But, I suppose all we can do is keep offering our support and try to get each other through it as a community.

You bring up some very good issues that are worthy of careful thought. So, thanks. I worry sometimes that people post here INSTEAD of getting the professional help they really need?

Other comments welcome. What do you guys think?

 

[Tom]

You bring up some very good issues that are worthy of careful thought. So, thanks. I worry sometimes that people post here INSTEAD of getting the professional help they really need?

Other comments welcome. What do you guys think?

Hmm. I think it totally depends on the situation. A good reliever of depression is talking to loved ones, and if that means chatting to your friends on here then thats great.

I dont know if this is entirely true but it does seem to me that some may be posting here instead of getting help. Maybe they read the lovely messages of love we send them and feel assured in their own minds that they are okay, because friends are telling them so? So when the problem worsens they again come on here instead, to get the assurance again? For some this isn't a bad thing but its always necessary to know when to draw the line in terms of a friend helping you and a professional saving your life.

 

[tigerfeet]

Victoria, I think you have it just right on here. Support is readily available from others like yourself who understand the huge impact Michaels passing has had on us all. But you always encourage the more medical side of things too and urge people to seek professional help if the support available online isn't helping long term. Grief is a complicated journey and I think the balance here of organic, community based help and the encouragement to explore other avenues is just right.

 

[Mechi]

Noone who's not educated in 'internet-counceling' should offer such a room I think.

We're not and the sense of the support forum is to me to give ppl space for talking about their emotional uproar at times on the one hand and let other members give their understanding help on the other hand.

Counceling is complete different.

I'm not sure we should even talk about peer-counceling here on the board as whatever is posted in the support forum can be read by everybody involved or not etc. however if pm contact is used there's peer counceling possible.

What we can provide however and that's I think the aim of the support forum is connecting ppl in problems with understanding peers.
Also we do provide phone lines helping.

I also think as this is an mjjcommunity and not a grieving, suicidal, depression, borderline board which are all out there (hopefully) offered by professionals we should leave it at that?!

What could be usefull however is to hire more staff...carrying the staff label around on the forum as we have countless members not posting on the support forums but still needing support... just there's posts in the general discussion... in the 1958-forever discussion etc. etc. and those ppl might do see you Vic and me but not the others offering their help in the sticky threads on the support forum... sometimes I fear we do miss on them.

 

[Fluffy_Oz]

This forum actually helped me a lot, but I'm only speaking from my point of view, not in the sense of a 'bigger picture'.
I'm not a counsellor or a psychiatrist, so I cannot really tell how bad I was, but I've been in a lot of mental (and sometimes physical) pain, and just to come here, to this section, and talk to people, even not in great detail, and have them reach out and virtually holding my hand, and just...seeing I'm not the only one and alone with all this?

Mechi has just been wonderful, an inspiration, and Victoria, that piece you wrote about the meaning of Michael's death? You will never know how much comfort that brought at a time it was very needed.
So professional or not, you guys are helping people here. I agree it's never going to be the same as a face to face consultation with a trained professional, but do not underestimate yourselves - I won't have that.
I'm not sure how I feel about a separate forum with a more focused approach, because I just feel so at home here, really - I couldn't have done it without y'all.

 

[jemini515]

I agree with Mechi's post -- support is different from counselling. I also agree that there may be people who don't know about the support section or maybe are afraid to come here for some reason? Maybe a post of the GD board reminding people that they have an open invitation to start or join a thread here, regardless of whether they are new/old, if they are in deep grief or experiencing smaller difficulties, etc?

My personal experience with this forum has been really good -- I feel it has been helpful for me. Although I have good relationships with family and friends who are willing to talk to me about my feelings, I needed to be with people who understand what Michael is really about and miss him in the same way. When I still felt I needed more help I reached out to a psychiatrist and so far I think that was a good decision for me. I'm looking for help from a variety of sources -- in-person professional, family/friends, and online community, and each has been helpful in their own way, contributing a piece of the puzzle of feeling better. I really thank everyone here for their contributions.