Is it just me or does it smell in here tonight??

Came on Linda... let it all out, we all have.... You know you need too :lol: LOL!!!!!
 
Wait...wait...it's coming....okay here it is...

Fart Sounds

Fart_sounds.jpg
 
Wanna know what I hate? When you think you have to fart, but your body proves you wrong...then you gotta go get a new set of underwear...
 
fart_poet.png
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This Alison answered; "Who is there
That knocketh so? I warrant him a thief."
"Nay, nay," quoth he, "God wot, my sweete lefe,
I am thine Absolon, my own darling.
Of gold," quoth he, "I have thee brought a ring,
My mother gave it me, so God me save!
Full fine it is, and thereto well y-grave:
This will I give to thee, if thou me kiss."
Now Nicholas was risen up to piss,
And thought he would amenden all the jape;
He shoulde kiss his erse ere that he scape:
And up the window did he hastily,
And out his erse he put full privily
Over the buttock, to the haunche bone.
And therewith spake this clerk, this Absolon,
"Speak, sweete bird, I know not where thou art."
This Nicholas anon let fly a fart,
As great as it had been a thunder dent;
That with the stroke he was well nigh y-blent;
But he was ready with his iron hot,
And Nicholas amid the erse he smote.
Off went the skin an handbreadth all about.
The hote culter burned so his tout,
That for the smart he weened he would die;
As he were wood, for woe he gan to cry,
 
fart_poet.png
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This Alison answered; "Who is there
That knocketh so? I warrant him a thief."
"Nay, nay," quoth he, "God wot, my sweete lefe,
I am thine Absolon, my own darling.
Of gold," quoth he, "I have thee brought a ring,
My mother gave it me, so God me save!
Full fine it is, and thereto well y-grave:
This will I give to thee, if thou me kiss."
Now Nicholas was risen up to piss,
And thought he would amenden all the jape;
He shoulde kiss his erse ere that he scape:
And up the window did he hastily,
And out his erse he put full privily
Over the buttock, to the haunche bone.
And therewith spake this clerk, this Absolon,
"Speak, sweete bird, I know not where thou art."
This Nicholas anon let fly a fart,
As great as it had been a thunder dent;
That with the stroke he was well nigh y-blent;
But he was ready with his iron hot,
And Nicholas amid the erse he smote.
Off went the skin an handbreadth all about.
The hote culter burned so his tout,
That for the smart he weened he would die;
As he were wood, for woe he began to cry.
 
Sings "I just cant Help It"...

Looking in my mirror
Took me by surprise
I can't help but rip one
Running often through my mind
Helpless like a baby
Farting disguise
I can't help but rip one
It is getting better all the time

I can't help it if I wanted to
I wouldn't help it even if I could
I can't help it if I wanted to
I wouldn't help it, no

I can't help it if I wanted to
I wouldn't help it even if I could
I can't help it if I wanted to
I wouldn't help it, no

Love to run my fingers
Softly while you fluff
Fluffing came and possessed you
Bringing sparkles to your eyes

Like a fart to heaven
Heaven is the prize
And I'm so glad I found you
You're a butt rocket in disguise

I can't help it if I wanted to
I wouldn't help it even if I could
I can't help it if I wanted to
I wouldn't help it, no
(Repeat to fade)
 
With a friend call her own... she'll always be alone coz you my friend will see... that Farting makes us flee.....
 
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