OK. so I'm going Krayyyyzeeeee

[SoS]

I feel better now. thanks

Well, y'knowwww here it is September and I'm just not there yet.

I mean the thing is, around June 23rd or so, I was needing to free up some space in my life to attend to (as in FOCUS on, which is one of my challenges ... a little a.d.d.ish to begin with okay?) 'cuz my life was filled with just, like, random chaos okay,?, and here I was on the board for brief "breaks" (from my random chaos) that turned into HOURS when I hadn't even posted that much! or anything!!!!


So, I decide I'd better make a break for it ... y'know ... let my pals in the 'regular' thread I spent most time in, know that I'd have to take a break ...
and so I did that. I was feeling pretty proud of myself. About to make some progress, y'know?


And I'll be daggone if not even a good 24 HOURS later ... we get this news!





I mean, if I didn't know better I'd have taken it darn personal!! I mean I announce I'm leaving for a while and the next thing I know ..














:boohoo:







And GUESS WHAT!


Immediatly following, I spent more time on here in a complete sitting than EVER in the past!! ... I mean, from June 26th or so (after I got back from a mini vacation whenever that was, 26th 27th... ) I DID NOT MOVE from the pc for DAYS on end ... I mean the next day would come and it'd be like only a few hours had passed ...everything I had to do was done like ...in between obsessing over this....there I was ..... sticking my 2 cents worth in here and there, and watching the investigation thread round the clock!



*sigh*


Lately, I've gotten a better hold of things but its still a challenge...I mean, every time I come on here its so hard to get off! :boohoo:








I mean, I know it'll sound nutzo but if I didn't know better, it almost seems like this happened JUST to teach me a lesson! (no I'm not really that vain) I mean it just SEEMS like it!!



Well! What is the lesson, you ask?

'DON'T YOU EVER AGAIN IN YOUR LIFE TRY TO LEAVE MICHAEL JACKSON, FOR ANY REASON, FOR ANY AMOUNT OF TIME - - EVER EVER EVER - - DO YOU GET IT??!!! EVER!"




:boohoo: I get it arrready so you can come back now kaaaaaay??? (i hope nobody'll tell me not to feel guilty because i do and i jess kayn't hepp it right now)




MJ, YOU'll see. I'll organize my life better and I'll be here ALL THE TIME!


:no: and I won't complain










:boohoo: just come back . . . . . . . . please







*sigh* good thing I believe in the resurrection

and I really do.


he'll be back ... I can feel it ... I'm not gonna change my avatar or anything!!




ok, so I'm in denial :blush:









but still ... I can feel it










told y'all I was goin' krayyzee






cause I really do feel it, that he's ok i mean













:angel:

 

[lovelymj]

I wish he would come back.

 

[MJstarlight]

Michael is ok
please keep believing ..
I keep wishing for him to come back!!!

 

[Fluffy_Oz]

It's okay, this isn't real, he'll be back.:yes:


(what denial?:mello

 

[SoS]

^ yep :yes: we're 'here' (touching two fingers to heart)

Thanks guyz, how sweet of you to respond to a krayyyzeee person :blush:

 

[AlvaMJJ]

We've got to invent this...

Link: http://cumbriansky.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/time-machine.jpg

Where are the bright, clever and intelligent people in this forum? The physicists etc. ...?

 

[Autumn II]

We've got to invent this...

Link: http://cumbriansky.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/time-machine.jpg

Where are the bright, clever and intelligent people in this forum? The physicists etc. ...?

Aww, for some reason, that time-machine made me cry. I could envision Michael sitting in that, ready to try it out? I don't think it would take scientists, though. Maybe prayer? To get through the darkest nights? Even to wish for. . . . you know. . . . if that helps you?

Denial can be useful at times, if necessary, if it helps one get through the day. It's a way of stepping back from emotional overload? S.O.S., and everyone, I feel your pain. I have it too.

What one thinks happens after death has so much to do with one's faith, whatever that may be. Even for atheists and agnostics, there remain mysteries. I have my own form of denial. I happen to believe in a "higher power." I believe absolutely anything is possible. Anything. But in the meantime, while we shore up fantasies and beliefs, we have lives to lead. (In my case, my cats won't eat if I don't go to the store for cat-food, and I fear they are becoming a bit testy?)

Carry on, as best you can,

Vic

 

[Experience the magic]

cause I really do feel it, that he's ok i mean

Yeah he is, and so will you be. You're anything but crazy, just trying to wrap your mind about this insane ordeal like we all are in our own ways. Glad to have you with us. Hang in there :better:

 

[SoS]

I wish he would come back.

:hug:me too lovelymj

Michael is ok
please keep believing ..
I keep wishing for him to come back!!!

aww I do believe in what is keeping me going too so I understand :hug:

It's okay, this isn't real, he'll be back.:yes:
:hug: aw you feelz me

(what denial?:mello

^ :hug: exactly!

We've got to invent this...

Link: http://cumbriansky.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/time-machine.jpg

Where are the bright, clever and intelligent people in this forum? The physicists etc. ...?

wish I could

:hug: thanks for the time machine, I love that, at least it can be done mentally

Aww, for some reason, that time-machine made me cry. I could envision Michael sitting in that, ready to try it out? I don't think it would take scientists, though. Maybe prayer? To get through the darkest nights? Even to wish for. . . . you know. . . . if that helps you?

Denial can be useful at times, if necessary, if it helps one get through the day. It's a way of stepping back from emotional overload? S.O.S., and everyone, I feel your pain. I have it too.

What one thinks happens after death has so much to do with one's faith, whatever that may be. Even for atheists and agnostics, there remain mysteries. I have my own form of denial. I happen to believe in a "higher power." I believe absolutely anything is possible. Anything. But in the meantime, while we shore up fantasies and beliefs, we have lives to lead. (In my case, my cats won't eat if I don't go to the store for cat-food, and I fear they are becoming a bit testy?)

Carry on, as best you can,

Vic

it does look like something MJ would sit in doesn't it

thanks Vic for understanding and for visiting my thread :hug:

Yeah he is, and so will you be. You're anything but crazy, just trying to wrap your mind about this insane ordeal like we all are in our own ways. Glad to have you with us. Hang in there :better:

thanks Experience the magic :hug: that was very encouraging and very sweet of you (love your nic)

 

[Mechi]

well I'm as insane as you guys are or as nuts as you guys are...

but tell me how could they be back if they aren't even really gone?

I feel my boyfriend still with me and I feel Michael around me.

I've asked myself if that's just my mind acting up stupid... but I suppose it's a little bit of everything... but somehow they are still here.

I do hear Michael giggling at times... also my boyfriends voice at times (he's not that much the giggle type)... telling me: "Don't be stupid! We're here!"
And I'm always telling them: "Yeah but not physically anymore. And you're missing here so much!!!"
And I can hear them telling me: "Oh you can't know that but this is so much better! But we are still around! One day you will see it all."
Call me crazy or stupid or insane... honestly they do sound soooo well... I could get jealous at times.
When I cry or something, they are around to give comfort it's like they're also always sending signs.
I mean I've just told yesterday how I did ask Michael to do something about the Vienna-tribute-concert his brother planed and I saw turning into a huge desaster. It bothered me so much cuz I feared it would be so hard for his kids and all of the Jacksons... attending or not... and it was adding to the dispair I felt yesterday morning cuz it was still on the news all this blabbering about Jermaine being in Germany and talking about the concert... and I was really in doubts... is it really Michael around me or maybe only my sick mind acting crazy cuz nothing happens... and see around noon I went online and the concert finally got postponed. Now call me crazy... but well you know... I tell you this, if it is only my sick mind acting up, then that is a true blessing and I'm thankful for it. I honestly think it is the love which was left for me by my boyfriend and also by Michael.
It started with me like this one of these days where I cried my heart out shortly after I've lost them... and since it didn't leave me.
Well don't worry. I am in supervision... and I'm telling about this stuff. My psychologist thinks also it could be possible... I mean who really knows... lol and yet I'm still allowed to work! Sometimes I'm worried it could end suddenly and my psychologist thinks from how I know my boyfriend and Michael if I would think they'd leave without saying good bye and I've told her: never as long as they can make the chance. And she said something like: "See, didn't you tell me now they finally can do everything always?"
We (my therapist and me) think that how long ever it lasts as long as it doesn't put me into a state not really being able to live my life anymore, it's ok they are around me like this. And it's not that cuz I'm still doing what I've always done... well somehow I'm doing even more now as I have created a part of my backyard completely new and need to take care of it now also. It's just hard at times not to worry they could suddenly leave again... cuz that's still in me... that anxiety cuz life changed so completely from one moment to the next without that I could do anything... I hope I'll get that under controll again... but well I'm all positive I will sooner or later.

 

[Fluffy_Oz]

Aww, Mechi... We're all a bunch of nutters here, but LET'S KEEP FIGHTING! (((HUGS)))
And StateOfShock - (((HUGS))) back

 

[SoS]

Aww, Mechi... We're all a bunch of nutters here, but LET'S KEEP FIGHTING! (((HUGS)))
And StateOfShock - (((HUGS))) back

its good to know I'm not the only one going krayyyyzeeeee around here

What doesn't help is all the contradictions and WEIRD and UNbelievable behaviors of just about everyone involved in the situation...

It all has me starting to wonder if maybe ...













h34r:









(me peeking out of black strait jacket)

 

[SoS]

well I'm as insane as you guys are or as nuts as you guys are...

but tell me how could they be back if they aren't even really gone?

I feel my boyfriend still with me and I feel Michael around me.

I've asked myself if that's just my mind acting up stupid... but I suppose it's a little bit of everything... but somehow they are still here.

I do hear Michael giggling at times... also my boyfriends voice at times (he's not that much the giggle type)... telling me: "Don't be stupid! We're here!"
And I'm always telling them: "Yeah but not physically anymore. And you're missing here so much!!!"
And I can hear them telling me: "Oh you can't know that but this is so much better! But we are still around! One day you will see it all."
Call me crazy or stupid or insane... honestly they do sound soooo well... I could get jealous at times.
When I cry or something, they are around to give comfort it's like they're also always sending signs.
I mean I've just told yesterday how I did ask Michael to do something about the Vienna-tribute-concert his brother planed and I saw turning into a huge desaster. It bothered me so much cuz I feared it would be so hard for his kids and all of the Jacksons... attending or not... and it was adding to the dispair I felt yesterday morning cuz it was still on the news all this blabbering about Jermaine being in Germany and talking about the concert... and I was really in doubts... is it really Michael around me or maybe only my sick mind acting crazy cuz nothing happens... and see around noon I went online and the concert finally got postponed. Now call me crazy... but well you know... I tell you this, if it is only my sick mind acting up, then that is a true blessing and I'm thankful for it. I honestly think it is the love which was left for me by my boyfriend and also by Michael.
It started with me like this one of these days where I cried my heart out shortly after I've lost them... and since it didn't leave me.
Well don't worry. I am in supervision... and I'm telling about this stuff. My psychologist thinks also it could be possible... I mean who really knows... lol and yet I'm still allowed to work! Sometimes I'm worried it could end suddenly and my psychologist thinks from how I know my boyfriend and Michael if I would think they'd leave without saying good bye and I've told her: never as long as they can make the chance. And she said something like: "See, didn't you tell me now they finally can do everything always?"
We (my therapist and me) think that how long ever it lasts as long as it doesn't put me into a state not really being able to live my life anymore, it's ok they are around me like this. And it's not that cuz I'm still doing what I've always done... well somehow I'm doing even more now as I have created a part of my backyard completely new and need to take care of it now also. It's just hard at times not to worry they could suddenly leave again... cuz that's still in me... that anxiety cuz life changed so completely from one moment to the next without that I could do anything... I hope I'll get that under controll again... but well I'm all positive I will sooner or later.

Thanks for sharing your experience Mechi, I found it quite encouraging. :better:

 

[wendijane]

:weeping: aww.... beautiful heartfelt thread , ...:huggy:
take care sos hun ,xox
and evryone else too :huggy:

 

[Miss_star]

its good to know I'm not the only one going krayyyyzeeeee around here

What doesn't help is all the contradictions and WEIRD and UNbelievable behaviors of just about everyone involved in the situation...

It all has me starting to wonder if maybe ...














h34r:









(me peeking out of black strait jacket)

:huggy: xx lol, you are not crazy hunny, you should see some of my posts rofl..anyways I keep saying it but what would make me more happy than ever would be if Michael came back, just one more time...like in that film Ghosts with demi moore

 

[SoS]

:huggy: xx lol, you are not crazy hunny, you should see some of my posts rofl..anyways I keep saying it but what would make me more happy than ever would be if Michael came back, just one more time...like in that film Ghosts with demi moore

:hug: thanks Miss_star, I'm so glad u understand


:better: ...and oh by the way

what would make me more happy than ever would be if Michael came back, just one more time...like in that film Ghosts

"ditto" :wub: :yes: :blush:

:weeping: aww.... beautiful heartfelt thread , ...:huggy:
take care sos hun ,xox
and evryone else too :huggy:

aw thanks wendijane for that heartfelt :hug: and xox to you too Sweetie ...