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Ashtanga
Proud Member
We will be praying for you and your mother!
ray: :heart: It'll be OK, believe me. :hug:Mariajoaosilva
Guests
Oh, Maria girl :heart:
You are in my thoughts... You belong to the GOOD ones caring for your mother so well
I HOPE the exams go well and her 'guardian angel' is watching over her :angel:
Take care :angel:Maria
Oh Daryll dear,thank you so much for your words,but i am far from being an Angel,and i am only doing the best i can,as my body started to "play games"with me,and most things i should do,i can't.I force myself,but it dosen't work...Guess i must be near my limit...
Thank you for your love and prayers.Love you dear.HUGS
Mariajoaosilva
Guests
We will be praying for you and your mother!
Thank you so much my sweet friend.I do believe i you!very much.HUGS
CarleyMJ"Maria, I really hope everything goes well with your Mum after what she has been through again my prayers and thoughts are with you".
Thank you so much for your prayers,your thoughts and support.It means a lot more than words can say.HUGS
xthunderx2
Proud Member
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2009
- Messages
- 9,883
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- 0
Maria I know what you are going through right now is sooooo hard...but please remember all of our previous conversations....you ARE a strong woman...you will be ok no matter what happens..you WILL be ok. You know my prayers are continued for you and your mom dear Maria...God knows what is best and he knows what it is you have been going through for so long..you are a VERY brave and wonderful daughter. Hugs to you Sweetie..:hug:
Mariajoaosilva
Guests
Xthunderx2...I do remember all our talks so well my dear friend...I treasure them so much....thank you so much for your continuous love,prayer and support.It means a lot more than you can imagine.HUGS
Ashtanga
Proud Member
MJzPrincess1982
lindsay is the name.. mj is my fav entertainer
MariaJo..
I have read through this entire thread and noticed a few things...
First of all, you are not a burden to us and we are ALL worried with you..I am ALWAYS, as a person who loves others, worried about people who are very sick and especially people who live in a place/country where they are behind on technology or help in some way.
Second of all, you are doing what you CAN. Do not worry or stress yourself..life will do what it needs. it is out of our control. we can only do what we can do. the rest is through faith. do not be worried about your mother's passing, we all will die one day and you need to accept that and try and help her now, the best that you can and you are, trust me, you are (i have read this whole post, remember). You cannot help it if your mom dies, despite what you are trying to do to keep her secure, safe, and alive and believe me, you are doing the right thing! I am happy to hear she has been alive these past 6 years or so, so you can spend time with her, more closely..and that may sound messed up but really, it is not. she is still your mom, despite her being sick. you will see her again one day, if she passes...hug her and embrace her now. rest assured that you are doing what you can.. i know money is hard..I am bad with money so i have no advice there lol. Don't be too hard on yourself for giving your life over to your mom for the past 6 years. She needs YOU.
Thirdly, I am GLAD that you turned to this forum for support. You need support so that you can support your mother. You turned to people who are family through michael, so I believe you did right in doing so, seeing as we are tight-knit family. I come and go on this forum, but your story has touched me. Your mom is so very ill I messaged you about my dad..it really scarred (made a dent/bruise) on me when he was ill...you need to have the peace of mind knowing that while yes, she is ill, you are doing something about it rather than letting a doctor do it all or a nurse. this is a good thing for you! many go to work or give up on their parents because some just can't deal with the stress (no this does not mean that I am saying that is a bad thing!), but you are dealing with it on your own terms.
I read this all and i think "I would be freaking out, too, if her mom was mine. I cannot imagine what I would do in that situation because i do not drive or work etc.." yet then I look and say "she should take comfort in that her mom has lived a life, yes painful, but she gave you birth" I cannot totally relate to you, and I am worried for u and her, but like i said, take comfort and know that you are doing what you can to help your mom and u do not need to worry she is in god's handds and you will see her again. I know that it is the struggle of it all that is stressing you out, but here I am talking about her death or what may happen. Don't let that worry you...take comfort and know that she is ok because of you.. I'll say it again.. SHE IS OKAY BECAUSE OF YOU.
Take care of both of you and live the life god set before you.
I have read through this entire thread and noticed a few things...
First of all, you are not a burden to us and we are ALL worried with you..I am ALWAYS, as a person who loves others, worried about people who are very sick and especially people who live in a place/country where they are behind on technology or help in some way.
Second of all, you are doing what you CAN. Do not worry or stress yourself..life will do what it needs. it is out of our control. we can only do what we can do. the rest is through faith. do not be worried about your mother's passing, we all will die one day and you need to accept that and try and help her now, the best that you can and you are, trust me, you are (i have read this whole post, remember). You cannot help it if your mom dies, despite what you are trying to do to keep her secure, safe, and alive and believe me, you are doing the right thing! I am happy to hear she has been alive these past 6 years or so, so you can spend time with her, more closely..and that may sound messed up but really, it is not. she is still your mom, despite her being sick. you will see her again one day, if she passes...hug her and embrace her now. rest assured that you are doing what you can.. i know money is hard..I am bad with money so i have no advice there lol. Don't be too hard on yourself for giving your life over to your mom for the past 6 years. She needs YOU.
Thirdly, I am GLAD that you turned to this forum for support. You need support so that you can support your mother. You turned to people who are family through michael, so I believe you did right in doing so, seeing as we are tight-knit family. I come and go on this forum, but your story has touched me. Your mom is so very ill
I messaged you about my dad..it really scarred (made a dent/bruise) on me when he was ill...you need to have the peace of mind knowing that while yes, she is ill, you are doing something about it rather than letting a doctor do it all or a nurse. this is a good thing for you! many go to work or give up on their parents because some just can't deal with the stress (no this does not mean that I am saying that is a bad thing!), but you are dealing with it on your own terms.I read this all and i think "I would be freaking out, too, if her mom was mine. I cannot imagine what I would do in that situation because i do not drive or work etc.." yet then I look and say "she should take comfort in that her mom has lived a life, yes painful, but she gave you birth" I cannot totally relate to you, and I am worried for u and her, but like i said, take comfort and know that you are doing what you can to help your mom and u do not need to worry she is in god's handds and you will see her again. I know that it is the struggle of it all that is stressing you out, but here I am talking about her death or what may happen. Don't let that worry you...take comfort and know that she is ok because of you.. I'll say it again.. SHE IS OKAY BECAUSE OF YOU.
Take care of both of you and live the life god set before you.
thrillerchild
Proud Member
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2009
- Messages
- 3,787
- Points
- 63
I'm really sorry to hear this latest turn of events with your mum I am thinking of you both and praying you still have some strength left. Have you thought about going to a charity for advice/help at all? Someone like Madrugada (I think that's their name?)
Big hugs to you x
I am thinking of you both and praying you still have some strength left. Have you thought about going to a charity for advice/help at all? Someone like Madrugada (I think that's their name?)Big hugs to you x
Silouette
Proud Member
Maria, I'll be thinking of you and your Mum. Stay as strong as possible my dear and keep the faith. :hug:
Ashtanga
Proud Member
Hey Maria :better: :hug: :give_heart: .... look: http://www.mjjcommunity.com/forum/threads/121931-Prayers-For-Maria-Jo%E3o-Silva-Mother-.....-Send-Her-Family-A-Major-L.O.V.E-Hug-lt-3-March-20th-2012?p=3613248#post3613248
Mariajoaosilva
Guests
MJZPrincess1982,First of all,let me thank you for taking the time to read this all thread,that i never imagined it would get this big ever.
What you say is very true and very wise.Life will take its way,no matter what i do,but as i am sure you know,when it's our parents,when its our family or friends,things get another dimension.The idea of loosing of mother,terrifies me,to be honest.
We were always very close,and since she became sick,we became even more close.If in a way i am tired of everything because i had to give up of a lot of things,on the other hand,i can't imagine any different because my mom is the person i love the mst in this world,and theres nothing,really nothing i wouldn't do for her.
This forum,the people here ARE MY REAL HOME AND FAMILY.Believe me when i say that it wasn't MJJC,Michael,all the fans,i would have given up a long time ago,because this is the only support i have.My family dosen't care,and they think it is my duty to do what i do.They forget that my mom is their sister,and my brothers behave as if it was nothing with them.
In the offline world,the only person i can count with,is my family doctor...she is more than sister to me.
Like i said already,when i started this thread,i never imagined someone would answer.In fact,i never wrote it thinking about it...all i wanted was to open up.I don't have words to express how much each comment here,how much each prayer,each love or support,means to me.Little by little,i started to feel something i was not expecting at all.Being heard,and loved.
I read your pm and i will answer you after answerig this thread.Thank you for sharing your experience with me.
Please know that if you ever need to talk,i'll do all i can to help you and support.
Yes i heard it many times that it is my care that is saving her in a way,and it is that thought,that feeling,that helps me dealing with things when sometimes i feel like giving up.But there's not one day,that i don't say to my mom how much i love her,i am always kissing her and holding her,to the point that sometimes she says"Maria...enough"lol.(yet,at the same times,it feels so good to see her smile...she is like a child...my child...)...
Again i want to thank you for the support and the love.It means a lot more than words can say.God bless you my dear.HUGS
What you say is very true and very wise.Life will take its way,no matter what i do,but as i am sure you know,when it's our parents,when its our family or friends,things get another dimension.The idea of loosing of mother,terrifies me,to be honest.
We were always very close,and since she became sick,we became even more close.If in a way i am tired of everything because i had to give up of a lot of things,on the other hand,i can't imagine any different because my mom is the person i love the mst in this world,and theres nothing,really nothing i wouldn't do for her.
This forum,the people here ARE MY REAL HOME AND FAMILY.Believe me when i say that it wasn't MJJC,Michael,all the fans,i would have given up a long time ago,because this is the only support i have.My family dosen't care,and they think it is my duty to do what i do.They forget that my mom is their sister,and my brothers behave as if it was nothing with them.
In the offline world,the only person i can count with,is my family doctor...she is more than sister to me.
Like i said already,when i started this thread,i never imagined someone would answer.In fact,i never wrote it thinking about it...all i wanted was to open up.I don't have words to express how much each comment here,how much each prayer,each love or support,means to me.Little by little,i started to feel something i was not expecting at all.Being heard,and loved.
I read your pm and i will answer you after answerig this thread.Thank you for sharing your experience with me.
Please know that if you ever need to talk,i'll do all i can to help you and support.
Yes i heard it many times that it is my care that is saving her in a way,and it is that thought,that feeling,that helps me dealing with things when sometimes i feel like giving up.But there's not one day,that i don't say to my mom how much i love her,i am always kissing her and holding her,to the point that sometimes she says"Maria...enough"lol.(yet,at the same times,it feels so good to see her smile...she is like a child...my child...)...
Again i want to thank you for the support and the love.It means a lot more than words can say.God bless you my dear.HUGS
Mariajoaosilva
Guests
I'm really sorry to hear this latest turn of events with your mum
Big hugs to you x
Thriller!!!how good to hear from you!...thank you so much for the love and prayers.I do believe that if i still have some strengh left,is because of all the prayers i get from my MJ family.
I am trying to find professional help at this point.My family doctor is surching for a doctor for me.I feel taht if i don't do it,i'll not know how to handle this much more.I'm too tired...
Honey...i have no idea what you meanwith Madrugada.lol(it means dawn).Again,thank you so much for everything.
Mariajoaosilva
Guests
Sil,thank you so much for the love and support.Doing my best to stay strong.HUGS
Ashtanga...thank you so much for letting me know about this beautiful thread.I don't have words to describe how i am feeling since i read and felt all the love,all the prayers and support.
I told my mom about this,and she asked me to thank each and all of you for all the love,and in her words"for being there for my baby in this hard time she is having".
Bless you dear.
God bless all of you.HUGS from me and my mom Elisa.
Ashtanga...thank you so much for letting me know about this beautiful thread.I don't have words to describe how i am feeling since i read and felt all the love,all the prayers and support.
I told my mom about this,and she asked me to thank each and all of you for all the love,and in her words"for being there for my baby in this hard time she is having".
Bless you dear.
God bless all of you.HUGS from me and my mom Elisa.
Ashtanga
Proud Member
MJzPrincess1982
lindsay is the name.. mj is my fav entertainer
I so wish I had the patience with my parents that you do and the heart that you do..you soul is very soft and sensitive..i am sure your mom only trusts you, anyway..believe me, I can feel you take care of her..you do, and she KNOWS this. She can sense your heart and yes your closeness to her, I can feel. your heart burns and longs for her to just be happy. I sense that and once again it adds to your profile of uniqueness.. not many are like you, maria. you're a brave fighter! Even if she is sick and has her ups and downs, you're still kicking butt by the end of the day and fighting that great fight of faith. Believe that. You're not failing as a daughter or to yourself just because of all this..I just thought earlier when I was trying to keep my eyes out for your reply..I thought: "No, this is actually making her a stronger person, even if her mum passes. this is something that will make her a strong and hearty person." your soul is being strengthened believe me or not. all because of this big fight. This fight for love.. MJ did this for his music..his first love..and it sounds like your mother is your first love, too. You and mj have that much in common.
Congratulations on fighting for her where she cannot fight. She needs you and give her hugs for us, even if she begs you to stop haha
MJzPrincess1982
lindsay is the name.. mj is my fav entertainer
I identify with this 100%, maria. I remember my father being there a year ago..it REALLY hurts your heart and soul, it really traumatized me and because of that, I now have fears, irrational to some extent, of him getting sick or dying or becoming homeless, since I am living with him. Him being hooked up to a dialysis machine, how puffed up he was, full of fluid because his kidneys shut down and did not function, so he was not urinating or anything, omg the stuff I saw come out of weakness from this strong, fighting man. I just..it almost paralyzed me. All I saw, his being in pain and being under propofol...just the who experience.. i hated it, dude..it was just..yeah
Mariajoaosilva
Guests
Mariajoaosilva
Guests
I identify with this 100%, maria. I remember my father being there a year ago..it REALLY hurts your heart and soul, it really traumatized me and because of that, I now have fears, irrational to some extent, of him getting sick or dying or becoming homeless, since I am living with him. Him being hooked up to a dialysis machine, how puffed up he was, full of fluid because his kidneys shut down and did not function, so he was not urinating or anything, omg the stuff I saw come out of weakness from this strong, fighting man. I just..it almost paralyzed me. All I saw, his being in pain and being under propofol...just the who experience.. i hated it, dude..it was just..yeah
Oh No dear...your father was on proprfol???how scary...
My mom is under lorazepam and dizepam,and anytime she takes those pills,i get so scared and nervous.Especially because my mom is like Michael in the sence that she has bad insomnia.She takes 2 or 3 pills of those medicins together,and all she sleeps,when she sleeps, is a few hours during the day especially.
I pray your father is well and will never need propofol again.
MJzPrincess1982
lindsay is the name.. mj is my fav entertainer
I guess i just see through OUTSIDE and see what I can see you trying. You only know what you're doing because you feel it's weight. You have a sad self esteem, know that you're still going to strengthened through this. you're the only one who fights for her.
Also, I try and see it positively..I try and say 'what if'. to me, that is the way I see it your fighting. i know you're beat down, but we're here to pick you up. so take my words as what if's and remember who you are and what you stand for, hun Hugs
MJzPrincess1982
lindsay is the name.. mj is my fav entertainer
Thank you. He was asleep and under propofol because he kept tugging the tube out of his lungs that breathed for him, he was in pain and trying to talk. so they put him to sleep. artificial sleep. he was being stubborn and wanted to do what he wanted to do and fight them..he hated being tied down and wanted out without getting better, just walk out.
Mariajoaosilva
Guests
MJZPrincess1982,Thank you so much for your love and support.
You are right...i am exausted...It's almost 6 years you know?
Thank God i have a home here,and a real family,that helps me getting some strengh to go through my days.Bless you.HUGS
You are right...i am exausted...It's almost 6 years you know?
Thank God i have a home here,and a real family,that helps me getting some strengh to go through my days.Bless you.HUGS
Mariajoaosilva
Guests
Today Mom is extremily tired because she had to get up very early to make the heart exams.
On Monday,we will go to an appoitment to find out the result of the exam and schedule surgery.
My Mom asked me to thank each and all of you,for all the love,all the prayers,and all the support you are giving especially to me,and asked me to send a big hug in her name.So,((( Elisa holds our mjjc family,all of you one by one,and me too)))).
On Monday,we will go to an appoitment to find out the result of the exam and schedule surgery.
My Mom asked me to thank each and all of you,for all the love,all the prayers,and all the support you are giving especially to me,and asked me to send a big hug in her name.So,((( Elisa holds our mjjc family,all of you one by one,and me too)))).
Ashtanga
Proud Member
:better:
We are praying for your mother.
ray: I wish that God give a lot of strength for her and for you too. :yes: In the end everything will work out. Believe it! :angel: :heart:
MJzPrincess1982
lindsay is the name.. mj is my fav entertainer
And hugs unto you both
MIST
Proud Member
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2011
- Messages
- 5,316
- Points
- 83
We know Michael visited this forum and I think he read this thread and was praying for your mother at least once.
He was a man who wanted to know things and I believe he wanted to know more about his fans and read more posts than our love for goldpants and curls.
More hugs and love
He was a man who wanted to know things and I believe he wanted to know more about his fans and read more posts than our love for goldpants and curls.
More hugs and love
Mariajoaosilva
Guests
Ashtanga,thank you so much for your prayers.If you believe it,i'll believe it.Thank you my dear.HUGS
MJZPrincess1982...Hugs to you too my friend,and thank you.
MIST..oh wow...thank you for mentioning Michael and this forum.So many times i wondered if Michael ever read my thread.Sometimes i feel he did,others i doubt it so much...
But i guess i will never know if he ever read this thread.
Still,just the thought that maybe He did,made me smile,and lately it is something i don't do often.
Thank you so much for maiking smile and feel that Michael was here or me.Tight HUGS
MJZPrincess1982...Hugs to you too my friend,and thank you.
MIST..oh wow...thank you for mentioning Michael and this forum.So many times i wondered if Michael ever read my thread.Sometimes i feel he did,others i doubt it so much...
But i guess i will never know if he ever read this thread.
Still,just the thought that maybe He did,made me smile,and lately it is something i don't do often.
Thank you so much for maiking smile and feel that Michael was here or me.Tight HUGS
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MJzPrincess1982
lindsay is the name.. mj is my fav entertainer
Mariajoaosilva
Guests
We don't know that!
Nice thought though.
Yes it is a wonderful thought.Especially because we do know that it was true.
It was confirmed several times by mods,and even by Gaz.
Noone of them would lie about this.I trust in their word 100%,and i think you should too.
I just wish i knew if he ever read this thread or not.