Three Months On....i don't want to believe...

Naytobes

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God, how can it be real. Last night I realised it was the 25th today....man, it's still not real. I don't want it to be real.

I really never thought a world without Michael could exist :cry:

why.....
 
I know....... this week I thought I was finally starting to get my head back together, I was coming to a resignation of sorts that although Michael is not with us physically, he will always be with us spiritually and we will do our damnedest to uphold his legacy. Felt like I was turning a corner.

Then I made a huge mistake........yesterday I went into the archives to the initial "This is it" thread and read the whole thing, right from rumours and hearsay in Feb 09 up to the press conference at the O2.

The whole thing kicked off on my f**king birthday, March 3rd, and just reading through it on that one day, how somebody posted how the rumour went from nothing to everything in 2 seconds, made me realise how much we have lost. How all this excitement could be generated from one email perceived by many to be bullsh*t and less than a month later all our wildest dreams coming true - we'd waited 12 years for it and the time was right............I don't know if I can celebrate my birthday on that day next year, I will be devastated.
Maybe I will celebrate this year on Michael's birthday instead.

I feel so depressed today, three months....... I can't stop crying..........
 
**Hugs to everyone**
Yes, just couldn't believe that 3 months has passed, 25th is such a horrible number now, this month is especially hard to deal with, I am alone in a totally new environment with no friends that I have made yet, I just cracked up while watching the this is it trailer minutes ago, I know that he is still with us spiritually but I just don't want to believe that I am living in a world without him anymore, this is such a hard thing to take, at the moment my ipod is playing "the lost children", we are all his "lost children" right now. God, I just want him back, why can't we have him back?? :cry:
 
I am sitting here in tears as I listen to Michael. While thinking in about 2 hours and 7 minutes it will be the 25th here. And I still don't want to believe it has been 3 months already. This is my worst nightmare ever. I so badly wish I was born sometime during the mid 1800s. That way I would have die before Michael was ever born. Cause living in a world without Michael in it. Is absolute hell on Earth. And I never would have thought I would still be alive to experience this hell.
 
wow, i didn't realise its been three months, feels like yesterday :(
 
I am sitting here in tears as I listen to Michael. While thinking in about 2 hours and 7 minutes it will be the 25th here. And I still don't want to believe it has been 3 months already. This is my worst nightmare ever. I so badly wish I was born sometime during the mid 1800s. That way I would have die before Michael was ever born. Cause living in a world without Michael in it. Is absolute hell on Earth. And I never would have thought I would still be alive to experience this hell.

Hugs to you.

:cry: There is certainly an empty feeling in my world these days...
 
3 months? No way. Feels like last week. :cry:

I have 2 more hours before it's the 25th here. *hugs* to you all! :hug: 3 months ago, all of our lives changed in one way or another. I know mine did for sure. :heart:
 
I know right.... :( I was writing down yesterday's date in my class when I realized it was the 24th already. I just got a sinking feeling in my stomach.... I just have to be reminded over and over again. It hurts so much...

The number 25 has a new meaning to me now...
 
It's about realizing life will never be the same.
It's about realizing nothing in this life is really eternal.
We can really only keep the love, if we care enough, if we realize what a treasure love is when it touches us.
Nothing else will last forever.
It's not we didn't know before but did we really comprehend the whole meaning before we've lost Michael?! Such an incredible pain, such a deep dispair... It's a hard lesson to learn that, but I also think it is so important to finally realize and not to forget about it.

It makes me so angry that this was not Michael just passing... he was taken away from us.
 
wow, i didn't realise its been three months, feels like yesterday :(

I know i can hardly believe it i still can't believe he's gone let alone that it's 3 whole months

sheesh unbelievable huh

did you realise it's gonna be exactly 6 months on xmas day boy is xmas gonna suck this year huh (as is my upcoming birthday next month) I'm gonna go to the exhibition in London of his memorabillia, see the film & i'm getting the ultimate collection cd set from my half sister plus just before my bday there's the single released & 3 days after my bday the album released bit I still feel cheated & like my birthdays gonna suck 'cause I should be seeing MJ himself NOT some flippin' exhibition & film *sobs*

I cried on tuesday so much I nearly threw up & was choking (not good eh) that's how hard it's hit me his death so badly

i've loved MJ 23 years & I'm only 24 next month!

I miss him so bad ;(
 
I know i can hardly believe it i still can't believe he's gone let alone that it's 3 whole months

sheesh unbelievable huh

did you realise it's gonna be exactly 6 months on xmas day boy is xmas gonna suck this year huh (as is my upcoming birthday next month) I'm gonna go to the exhibition in London of his memorabillia, see the film & i'm getting the ultimate collection cd set from my half sister plus just before my bday there's the single released & 3 days after my bday the album released bit I still feel cheated & like my birthdays gonna suck 'cause I should be seeing MJ himself NOT some flippin' exhibition & film *sobs*

I cried on tuesday so much I nearly threw up & was choking (not good eh) that's how hard it's hit me his death so badly

i've loved MJ 23 years & I'm only 24 next month!

I miss him so bad ;(


6 months on Xmas day :cry: god, I don't even want to think about it, those poor darling children of his :cry:
 
The realization didn't really hit me again until 6:30 am. And knowing in exactly 12 hours from now is when I had heard the worst news ever. I have been crying and thinking about that ever since. I know I am going to be a real mess by 6:30 pm today.
 
Aw, that's just how I feel too. It just feels unbelievable that it has been 3 months already. It still feels like yesterday. :cry: :hug:
 
Aw, that's just how I feel too. It just feels unbelievable that it has been 3 months already. It still feels like yesterday. :cry: :hug:

..........same here:cry::better:
(((((((((((hugs you all)))))))))))))))))))))))))
 
i feel as bad as 3 months ago :(
i really do miss him so much!!! i actually would have seen him already :(
 
I am sitting here in tears as I listen to Michael. While thinking in about 2 hours and 7 minutes it will be the 25th here. And I still don't want to believe it has been 3 months already. This is my worst nightmare ever. I so badly wish I was born sometime during the mid 1800s. That way I would have die before Michael was ever born. Cause living in a world without Michael in it. Is absolute hell on Earth. And I never would have thought I would still be alive to experience this hell.

Sometimes I think like this as well. I really wish I didnt think like this. but its so painful and im going to be in pain for so long it seems. I just wish he could have lived as long as his his father and we could spend another 20+ years with him...
why :cry:
 
i'm listening to ...The Way You Love Me.... and in floods.
i keep asking the same question over and over again... WHY?
WHY, WHY, WHY BLOODY WHY?
hurts to much.
 
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