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Too much pain..

Darene

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I just can't believe that Michael is gone, I will take my life away if he really is. The only thing that keeps me alive is thinking that he will come back T_T. I don't think that I will ever make it through *cries so hard*
 
Michael will always be in our hearts and because of that he can never truly be gone from us. We have so much to do now and we need all of Michael's fans to support our efforts to continue his legacy in positivity.
 
Darene said:
I just can't believe that Michael is gone, I will take my life away if he really is. The only thing that keeps me alive is thinking that he will come back T_T. I don't think that I will ever make it through *cries so hard*
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I don't know quite what to tell you, except that I understand totally. Hold my hand, NOW. I will try to support you. There is so much to live for. Family, friends, and US? And also please understand that miracles are possible. Well? Help can come from unexpected places, even from the love of those who love Michael? Just hang on, ok? Michael would be SO hurt if anyone was hurt, because of him.

love,

Vic
 
Aww yea I know it's hard, you have to learn how to accept it though, it's life.
 
I understand your pain, hon....

I know life can suck sometimes but look at how magnificent the world truly is. Listen to Michael's words.. Spread his legacy.. Love him and defend him. Live in his message. We all want him back but he is already resting now away from the pain he suffered in this world.
 
I know sweetie, it's so painful. Hang in there, I know it's difficult. :better:
 
I feel your pain. I feel the exact way..... I am havinga hard time thinking that im going throuh the rest of my life without MJ here with us... Its so painfull, and i still cry myself to sleep... But i know for sure that we will hurt him up there in heaven if we go and end our lives. You know he never wanted to die, and im sure he didnt want anyone else to die either... Please hold my hand D, we can make it through this togheter as MJs Fans.....
 
Thank you for your support T_T
I am suicidal and I want to 'cure', I want the real me back T_T , I feel pity for my family because they did all what they can do to help me get out of this, but now all they do is cry when I cry T_T. I was doing my MA but now I don't want to go back to uni, life means nothing without MJ. All I think about is that him coming back or me going where he is T_T
 
Darene, we're all in this together, and we need you here!
Please be strong - remember that Michael has left three beautiful children behind, and they need our love and support too!
We need as many of us as we can - we need a whole army of Michael fans (remember how he used to call us his Soldeirs of Love?) to continue what he started, to be part of his HIStory, to carry forward his legacy.
I know how it hurts, I haven't been truly happy since the 25th of June...
But we gotta pull through. We gotta stay strong.
Keep Michael close to your heart, keep his babies in your prayers, and keep on going, because we need you, the world needs you, your family needs you, your friends...
We can't lose you, it's not an option. Stay with us, talk to us, we'll all see the light eventually, we will! We're all brothers and sisters in grief here, we're here for you, we understand, we know what you're going through and we support you.

We'll all have eternity with Michael some day anyway, so we might as well make the most of our time here while we can, how about that? :)

Please take care.
 
I feel I already died I really do :cry: I've been a mess for months.
So I feel your pain. The thing that keeps me going are Michaels fans, they, we are so beautiful. And trying to have faith, if your a spirtual person it helps a little more. We must stick together and be united for Michael. We are his army of love. Although he is not physically with us, (god it hurt to write that) we can do SO much for him.. I believe what he would want most is his fans to continue to show the world his mission.

We'll all have eternity with Michael some day anyway, so we might as well make the most of our time here while we can, how about that
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well said Fluffy. I've learned life goes by so fast.. The past couple years have been just rotten for me. I lost my Grandpas, my godfather, my cat, my boyfriend and Michael. So its been total ****.

Our day will come to be with Michael but for now let us continue to live his mission. I love all the fans as much as I love Michael and even though im an emotional mess and messed up... Im here for anyone that needs to talk.
 
Darene said:
I just can't believe that Michael is gone, I will take my life away if he really is. The only thing that keeps me alive is thinking that he will come back T_T. I don't think that I will ever make it through *cries so hard*
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Yep there's deep pain.
But you've found this place. Welcome to this board. Now if you give yourself the chance, you'll find that this is the place where Michael has left his spirit, his love... because this is MJJcommUnity.
We stand together here, we lend everyone a helping hand a hold to deal with the pain, to not give up... let's keep Michaels legacy... therefore it's needed we get back to the love... to one day enjoy Michaelmania again in a positive way.
You need to give yourself a chance to feel the love Michael has left also in you, that's why you got it... and that's probably also why you were looking for this place.
 
You aren't the only one feeling this way i sit and think i just can not live knowing that Michael is gone. This pain is unbearable but i am trying hard to stay strong but my emotions always get the best of me. I just hope he knows how much i love and miss him :( my heart hurts endlessly knowing he's gone. I've been a fan for 22 years he is my entire childhood and i just can not believe this happened :( "in tears now"
 
Darene said:
Thank you for your support T_T
I am suicidal and I want to 'cure', I want the real me back T_T , I feel pity for my family because they did all what they can do to help me get out of this, but now all they do is cry when I cry T_T. I was doing my MA but now I don't want to go back to uni, life means nothing without MJ. All I think about is that him coming back or me going where he is T_T
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I am hugging you from here!

You must go finish your Masters. Think of all you can accomplish with that. Think that you could possibly spend your life devoting your passion to MJ, into the scholarly field. There are plenty of people who teach, study and write about pop culture, music, even humanitarians, etc. I teach at university........I teach film history and world's fairs and art history....I know lots of people that I work with with really eclectic scholarly pursuits and projects.

Just think of the possibilities.....you could channel everything into your studies, and put all your passion for MJ into a scholarly life devoted to him. I don't know what you are currently studying, but..........go for it!!! you can do it. do it for him!! do it for you!!
 
I want to, it's just that I never knew that I was this weak. I broke down today, I am sick. I sdon't know why I hate myself, I blame it for losing MJ, just because I'm still living in the world that robbed MJ his glory and happiness. I wish i could turn back time and set everything right T_T
 
Awww... Darene....

I understand you so much.... Music, art and entertainment has lost it's passion for me! I can't even go to the supermarket, or an amusement park without feeling like crap because I remember that he's not here with us anymore. It's very painful. I still cry from time to time.

I fantasize a lot about his life. I wished that the Pepsi accident didn't happen or better yet Michael went ahead and let Oatmeal sponsored the Victory Tour instead. I often imagined Michael's life if he didn't get vitiligo.. He probably wouldn't be so self-conscious and people will not judge him for his appearance..

Plus, if Mike never met those vultures and the 1993 allegations never happened, he probably would be even more revered and respected. Like Michael said, fantasy is escapism. It help me escape from the pain sometimes.... But it hurts to know Michael had to go through so much...it tears my heart apart.
 
Darene you are weak. You've suffered a huge loss. Isn't that just what is expected?
Would you expect someone else to just come over it? Would you tell someone here?
For sure you would not. You would have understanding for ppl here. It's not fair you haven't this understanding for yourself. You need to find it.
Yes we're still living in this world which was not only fair to Michael. He had to endure a lot. Still in his music, songs, lyrics there's a lot of love found for this life, this world it's ppl. Michael at least believed very much this world deserves some healing. We can keep his legacy. We don't have to but we can... ppl like you and me... if we get and have the chance to study, find the right jobs and take responsibilty... we can make Michael proud of us. He has done his part... now it's up to us... let's not escape this. let's not say we're too weak before we even really tried... let's give eachother strength and I swear to you we will make it.
Yes the world still needs a lot of healing... please let's keep Michael Jacksons legacy... let's make it a better place. We can do it, let us fans stand together as one and let's be the force needed. non of us needs to be strong always. We all will have our times. But then there will always be others holding on to us and helping us through. Sometimes we're weak and sometimes we're strong. The love for Michael Jackson will help us through. His love does always bring us back together. Please be one of us. Stick with us. Let's use our possibilities for healing this world, for keeping Michael Jacksons legacy.
 
Darene said:
I want to, it's just that I never knew that I was this weak. I broke down today, I am sick. I sdon't know why I hate myself, I blame it for losing MJ, just because I'm still living in the world that robbed MJ his glory and happiness. I wish i could turn back time and set everything right T_T
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YOU are not weak. You are but only having a weak moment. It is okay...Yes.........the world can be seemingly cruel, BUT we must be able to find a path through it that can bring us some meaning. Dreaming about turning back time happens to us all, in many times throughout our life. I've been there countless times too........But, we know for real that we cannot do this. It is not an option.

You have to find another option with which to keep moving. I can tell, you have so much to offer the world.......I think going back for your Masters is part of it!! I support you going for it!! You can do it!

No one can rob MJ of any glory.....think of how much he means to you. Is there any way anyone can take that away... no way, right? Now, think of how many of us there are that feel this way....his glory is great, my friend. And, we are all here.......together!
 
Darene said:
Thank you for your support T_T
I am suicidal and I want to 'cure', I want the real me back T_T , I feel pity for my family because they did all what they can do to help me get out of this, but now all they do is cry when I cry T_T. I was doing my MA but now I don't want to go back to uni, life means nothing without MJ. All I think about is that him coming back or me going where he is T_T
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First off, I'd like to welcome you to MJJCommunity. Believe it or not, but we're all going through the same grief, be it in our own ways. We're here for you and we will listen and support you here. :better:

You know what, starting your MA means you are on your way to gain the tools you need to make a difference in this world. You can carry on the message Michael left us with, healing the world in your own special way. It feels so empty doesn't it, to experience the loss of someone that has been a part of your life for so long. But you know, Michael is right there in your heart. Through his music, his legacy he continues to inspire us to do the right thing. It's not your time to leave this earth, we need you here! And believe it or not, but somewhere underneath this pain lies the courage and the strenght you need to fight your way into the future. Give yourself a chance Darene, it'll be worth every second. And we'll be there for you every step of the way. Don't give up on yourself, you can fight this fight. You truly can :better:
 
Darene,.........I am checking in with you girl.....please, let me know how you are feeling today.
 
Reading your words makes me feel that I'm not the only one. Thank you for giving me strength. I am sick today, but it's fine, feeling physical pain distrancts me a liitle from the emotional one. He's been on my mind though. What if I can't restore normal life unless I believe that he is still alive? I can't take his death, I know how obsessed with aving my family and the ones I love forever. I've been praying for so long " God, let it be me you take first, because I don't want to go throught the loss of anyone I love." Michael is the one that comes right after my family. I was at peace when I believed that he is living somewhere and happy where he is, but people kept on telling me that he is gone... why? If this is how myy wounds heal, why don't they just let me be, even if it's not right, it does me right..
I'm confused and aching. But I love you all. I love all the people who love Michael, because I can always feel a a prt of him in them.
 
I am I deep pain myself since he passed. I understand what you feel. I have never cried like that, even when my grandma passed.
This pain never will go away but we have to live our lives. Our army of Love without the King of Love looks very tragic and lost. I know that. But what can we do about it? I know we have to be strong spiritually, to keep his legacy for younger generation , we have to think positive and live our lives. I really try to move on myself, but I still cannot do it. But I believe I will, eventually. I know I have to be strong, I have to do something for Michael's legacy, so when my time comes I won’t feel bad that I didn’t do what I had to.
Hugs to everybody.
 
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