Just chewing a piece of gum and relaxing. While checking my MJ sites and listening to Michael Jackson. And then I am going up to bed since I am not feeling well.
Relaxing at night, listening Enya ''White Is in the Winter Night'', thinking of Joseph's book after reading part of it, looking at fresh snow on the street & night lights there.. beautiful...
Just sitting here drowning my absolute misery in food. Something that I never thought I will see myself do. I am eating a big plateful of food now and I am not even hungry. I am just so miserable without Michael in my life now. I think it just totally sank in that Michael is not ever coming back. I always had that slight hope that he will come back. But now I know that he is not.
I am watching Living with Michael Jackson
with tears coming down my face. this documentary is what made me become a fan when I watched it a few years ago online. I saw through the negativity influenced by Martin and saw Michael for what a perfect human he is.
Just watching The Green Mile on AMC. While eating a big piece of chocolate cake with milk chocolate icing. I made it early so I won't have a cake on my actual birthday. Cause I really don't want to see anything that could remind me that it is my birthday. I just want to forget.
Just watching the HIStory Channel as I wipe my tears away cause I was just crying over Michael again. As I think about going back to bed. I really don't feel so good right now.
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