What are you doing this very second?

Relaxing at night, listening Enya ''White Is in the Winter Night'', thinking of Joseph's book after reading part of it, looking at fresh snow on the street & night lights there.. beautiful...
 
Just sitting here drowning my absolute misery in food. Something that I never thought I will see myself do. I am eating a big plateful of food now and I am not even hungry. I am just so miserable without Michael in my life now. I think it just totally sank in that Michael is not ever coming back. I always had that slight hope that he will come back. But now I know that he is not.
 
I am watching Living with Michael Jackson
with tears coming down my face. this documentary is what made me become a fan when I watched it a few years ago online. I saw through the negativity influenced by Martin and saw Michael for what a perfect human he is. :(
 
Just watching The Green Mile on AMC. While eating a big piece of chocolate cake with milk chocolate icing. I made it early so I won't have a cake on my actual birthday. Cause I really don't want to see anything that could remind me that it is my birthday. I just want to forget.
 
Looking forward to going to another invite for Christmas dinner today! :hungry: :dropdead: :lol:
 
Trying to motivate myself at work after being off for almost 3 weeks :p and chair dancing to the Forrest Gump Movie Soundtrack :girl_dance:
 
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