You Are Not Alone

[L.J]

Having a bad day/week/month ?? Need a friend, some advice or just a place to rant ??
Let it out in here.

This thread (before GDv3 vanished lol) was always a wonderful source for support and advice for others.





know that you are never alone, because there is always someone on here

[Poefiend]

..............

[Sdeidjs]

Sending you lots of sunshine to take the clouds away!

[L.J]

Gosh ... who knew it.... but I re-opened this thread, and it appears I'm going to be the first one to use it


I'm really depressed/hurt and confused.

I can't even explain it because I don't understand it myself. How could my words have been twisted and turned to mean something completely different?

I don't even know what to say that's how miserable I am, I feel like I'm going through some kind of major break up and I know it's going to eat me alive emotionally... I know it because it already is.

why, why, why ?

[Mechi]

Oh sheeeeesh L.J. *hugs* please look for someone who you can talk to about all this.
Feel free to pm me also ok.

[Poefiend]

HUG L.J. I hope youre alright now?

[movingcoolcat]

Hope you feel better L.J!

I have been feling very down lately, its hard to explain why and what exactly is the matter. Its a long story. And it has nothing to do with anyone on this board. I just felt like saying something about it here, to get it out of my mind and try to express it in words. Maybe it helps?

I have gone through a lot in this life so far. As has a lot of people, and I feel my story is just one of many, when it comes to what life can give you both as a beginning in life in regards to parents and where you are born etc..and what it gives you as challenges later.
I can see that part of my life have been better/ part has been worse then what people usualy has to handle.

Still, I have always been able to go from being knocked down, to get up and start living again. Its just that some times, like now- I just get so tired of fighting to keep myself up and going. Tired of fighting to keep my faith in people, and trying to trust even though I have had so many bad experiences. Tired of trying to be nice, trying to open up, trying to have faith, and look at the positive aspects of life.

It feels like my soul is tired, its different from being depressed or just sad.
I look at what I have been doing for the past two years, and realice I have changed more then I have wanted to admit, due to some very rough years before that. I was betrayed, and in a very unusual and horrible way.
The change is that even when I do my best to try to have faith, and to dare to open up to people, I hold my guard up, I am more reserved then I used to be. I keep a part of myself completely locked up. And it makes me feel alone. Even if I objectively know I have all the possebilities in this world to not be alone. I am playing it safe. And it hurts me in the long run, I know. I just don`t know the way out of it.

If i could describe it as a picture, i feel like the Frida Kahlo, with a broken column inside her holding her up, and a corset holding her body together.
I just fell extremely vulnerable, and afraid. Still, I know I am strong. And if I am patient, and let my wounds heal, and work on it bit by bit- it will get better. Its just that sometimes, like now, I feel more like giving up, laying down and sleep and escape from the world. I am not saying I want to die, this is not a suicide letter!

I just realice, that with everything that has happened, its not likely that I will heal soon enough to be able to dare to enter in a relationship again while I am still in a age where I can have kids. And that is something that has just hit me, and I feel like I have to redifine what my life will be like. I have never realy thought about it that mutch, but its different when you realice that due to things happening, the choice may actually be out of your hands. And I have to find a purpose in life that makes me feel like its worth the effort.

Thanks to whoever reads this, its not realy something that needs an answear. I just had the need to express what I felt.

[Poefiend]

I Pray God mends and helps you MC

[Mechi]

MCC nope it doesn't really need an answer as there wasn't a real question.
Just you seem really not to be alone... I say seem cuz I've not really an idea about it but I've felt myself a bit in your post to be honest.
Tired of being a strong person at times... angry with all those who call me strong or smart as if their purpose is only to have the lazy weak position.
Asking myself why it should be always me who's intelligent and well balanced and finding understanding for everyone and everything.
I'm not comparing myself to you... I do not know a thing really about your life it just reminded me of my thoughts also about having kids or not... I've made that decision pretty early with a planed different purpose, it didn't save me from doubts with all those years going by when it was still possible. Now it's not anymore and still there are doubts at times torturing if it was a good decision but as a matter of fact also there was never a guy who would have been good enough to be the father of my kids.
Well I have these phases when no understanding boyfried, no understanding any other friend and for sure not anyone in supervision can be of any help... but with me... I just take these times... I send ppl away or cancel appointments with telling no reason, also do not make appointments with telling no reason, if they start to annoy I sometimes tell them to shut up, well they had a fair chance to do so before I had to tell them... sometimes I do nothing... sometimes I start cleaning my place, sometimes I read a book, sometimes I starr on the ceiling, whatever... I just know it goes over.
Ok one exception I do not allow myself to not go to work and I make it to keep up self discipline this way. I don't wanna waste the few days I can take off during the year to my bad times somehow.
I take care not to be bad towards myself.
But everything else can wait... it goes over. The less pressure I put on myself aside from work, the better.

So I hope you'll feel better soon again! Hold on!

[movingcoolcat]

Thank you Mechi. Its more or less my approach to it too. Time out. I know it will pass, eventualy. Its just been a bit hard to handle everything, and sometimes I "go back", and have to face past experiences once more. Part of healing, part of grieving I guess.
No, I am sort of not alone. But feeling alone sometimes has nothing to do with being alone? Its just the knowledge of the distance between people, that are there no matter what. Existencialism?

[xX.Joey.Xx]

I'm feeling very down lately because I recently found out my family are moving abroad, and I have to go with them, and i'm leaving all my friends.

I'll come back, when I can, but it wont be for a year or two, and i'm going to miss everyone sooo much.

Its always nice to express your feelings when you feel a bit down and I think this thread could be useful to lots of people. :] Thanks L.J. for making this thread!!

I wish my first post wasn't a depressing one... lol

Hi everyone. :]

Much love
xx

[rockstar]

i love that song i listen it when i'm feeling down and upset and i listen to it alot when i was sick in hospail

[MissyJackson]

thing's offline are gettin to me so much that im totally exhausted and cant sleep sigh

[rockstar]

oh i forgot too that everynight when i go to bed i isten to you are not lone helps me sleep and think of MJ voice

[MissyJackson]

I'm feeling very down lately because I recently found out my family are moving abroad, and I have to go with them, and i'm leaving all my friends.

I'll come back, when I can, but it wont be for a year or two, and i'm going to miss everyone sooo much.

Its always nice to express your feelings when you feel a bit down and I think this thread could be useful to lots of people. :] Thanks L.J. for making this thread!!

I wish my first post wasn't a depressing one... lol

Hi everyone. :]

Much love
xx

awww where you moving too hun

im moving to NY in the summer if i can save enough in time