Did MJ Find Love In The Dark (continued)

queen g, I think you are right about the background of them singing IJCSLY. I definately believe that background is saying something very important about this love story. I have always believed that song was telling us the beginning of their story and remember, Michael used the lyrics of IJCSLY in other more recent songs that follow along the lines of the theory of this thread( "One more chance" and "Break of Dawn").

Since I haven't seen the movie, I'll look for others to help us out with interpreting the backgorund.

I did notice at the bottom of each column, there appears to be two figures holding hands and creating a circle? The colums give light at the very top, they are found on both sides of this beautiful art work.

I also saw what appeared to be faces all around in graved in the art work? It could very well be something elese but they look ao much like faces to me?

The colors are soft, romantic, beautiful, regal and quiet.
 
8701girl, I understand. :hug:

Remember this delightful little poem of MimiK's posted way back when?

one more chance...or a dozen chances...to fall again

never give up on love...never

that force has got a lot of power

keep the faith


The force behind Love is God. Don't give up on prayer and telling God how you feel about it all; the disappointments...the difficulty in still believing...how it hurts to be let down each time so far. Don't give up on God in the area of Love, I did and I so regret it. Keep trusting Him. He is faithful. Even in my case, I started lifting up a prayer that before I die that I would experience Love, since in my life I never had. Then one day I go on YouTube and God shows me a man who exemplifies pure and honest love. Michael Jackson. And as I kept praying for Michael, I eventually felt Love being returned to me. Michael always gave back. His fans have all experienced it. And if I were to die tomorrow, I would be content, because God let me feel Love for the first time. I am so grateful to Him.

8701girl, I think you have felt this Love from Michael as well. You are so lucky that at your age, with lots of years ahead of you, you already know how and what love is supposed to look like...Michael has shown you. God has shown you, through Michael. You don't have to be confused like me and many others by not being able to identify real love because we had nothing to base it on. We didn't know what it looked like, we didn't know what it felt like..when it was true and pure and real. You do. You are blessed.

Now you just need to put your trust in God for the right timing.

Believe.

I know you can do it with God's help. :)


Mimik's poem reminds me of mjs song "one more chance" lol



Yeh michael did show me how 2 love and im enternly grateful for that. I just wish a man would love me bck, instead of turning the other way @ first sight.
 
Michael married, twice. For me, the first marriage was somewhat alarming? A marriage should be some sort of sacrament? I saw a video tape of the "wedding" He was chewing gum and wearing a "Mickey Mouse" tie. He basically said, to LMP, "whatever." He was not taking it seriously, as a bride deserves? ANY bride? Noooooo! ANY beloved woman deserves better than that. And THIS, from a "romantic" Michael Jackson? Something went terribly wrong, there.

Did he LOVE her? Don't know. Was it political and for PR? Maybe. What went WRONG? Uhm, he vanished, for six freaking WEEKS and she couldn't find him, at all? If that was my marriage, I'd do the same as LMP did, and say, "Hey buddy! I deserve better, from you." She. . . left . . . maybe through an instinct for self-preservation? I do not fault her for that. They remained friends, but that was NOT it.

He married again. This was obviously for children. Debbie was pretty generous about it, given everything and what she obviously wanted from him?

What I'm thinking now, was a dream-girl/fantasy prevent him from finding a partner on THIS earth? The one he sang about and yearned for? On one level, that is a tragedy for all concerned. On another, it's still . ...... HOPE? There remain dimensions undiscovered, and on that plane, he remained faithful?

Whatever. Will we EVER know?

Vic
 
I can almost hear a big sigh after those words. :)

One day a guy is not going to turn the other way at first site of you. Give God time. Trust. And in the meantime, hang in there. And...have fun with us here in this thread! :D


yep a sigh was definately there. i always have fun with u guys on this thread! :D
 
Michael married, twice. For me, the first marriage was somewhat alarming? A marriage should be some sort of sacrament? I saw a video tape of the "wedding" He was chewing gum and wearing a "Mickey Mouse" tie. He basically said, to LMP, "whatever." He was not taking it seriously, as a bride deserves? ANY bride? Noooooo! ANY beloved woman deserves better than that. And THIS, from a "romantic" Michael Jackson? Something went terribly wrong, there.

Did he LOVE her? Don't know. Was it political and for PR? Maybe. What went WRONG? Uhm, he vanished, for six freaking WEEKS and she couldn't find him, at all? If that was my marriage, I'd do the same as LMP did, and say, "Hey buddy! I deserve better, from you." She. . . left . . . maybe through an instinct for self-preservation? I do not fault her for that. They remained friends, but that was NOT it.

He married again. This was obviously for children. Debbie was pretty generous about it, given everything and what she obviously wanted from him?

What I'm thinking now, was a dream-girl/fantasy prevent him from finding a partner on THIS earth? The one he sang about and yearned for? On one level, that is a tragedy for all concerned. On another, it's still . ...... HOPE? There remain dimensions undiscovered, and on that plane, he remained faithful?

Whatever. Will we EVER know?

Vic



God did not have his/her hand in either of these Marriages. But other people and other things surely did.

These were not marriages based on the ideals and committments Michael wanted for himself. How do I know this? Because with both of these marriages, Michael continued to yearn, long and sing about the love he really needed and wanted. A man who is married and should be showing signs of pure bliss and happiness in ALL expects of his life but who clearly was not, reveals a man still searching and unsatisfied with what was before him.
 
^ You mean on the Spiritual Plane, even though he may have had these relationships/marriages in the "natural realm" they did not affect his love bond for "one particular girl" that was going on in the Spiritual Realm. In this way, throughout, he remained faithful to her, because the natural doesn't touch the spiritual, for they are two different planes. Is this your meaning, Victoria? Although, of course we know that the natural often "speaks" of the spiritual. And maybe that is what you and Moddie and others have been picking up on all along.


You explained this perfectly. I too believe he remained spiritually faithful to her throughout the longing, distance, time, marriages, broken promises and unrealized dreams.

We would never have been able to come this far with these clues had this not been the case.
 
Michael married, twice. For me, the first marriage was somewhat alarming? A marriage should be some sort of sacrament? I saw a video tape of the "wedding" He was chewing gum and wearing a "Mickey Mouse" tie. He basically said, to LMP, "whatever." He was not taking it seriously, as a bride deserves? ANY bride? Noooooo! ANY beloved woman deserves better than that. And THIS, from a "romantic" Michael Jackson? Something went terribly wrong, there.

Did he LOVE her? Don't know. Was it political and for PR? Maybe. What went WRONG? Uhm, he vanished, for six freaking WEEKS and she couldn't find him, at all? If that was my marriage, I'd do the same as LMP did, and say, "Hey buddy! I deserve better, from you." She. . . left . . . maybe through an instinct for self-preservation? I do not fault her for that. They remained friends, but that was NOT it.

He married again. This was obviously for children. Debbie was pretty generous about it, given everything and what she obviously wanted from him?

What I'm thinking now, was a dream-girl/fantasy prevent him from finding a partner on THIS earth? The one he sang about and yearned for? On one level, that is a tragedy for all concerned. On another, it's still . ...... HOPE? There remain dimensions undiscovered, and on that plane, he remained faithful?

Whatever. Will we EVER know?

Vic



I think loved lisa marie as much as he know how 2 love someone and i think even lisa said that herself. I get the feeling michael felt once he was married all the crap that hurt him in his life would fade away and he could then settle down. I feel michael wanted that so much but didnt know what way to go about it. And u guys have to realise he properly had a hard time trusting woman , he had so many fans surrounding him all his life - he just didnt know whether they loved him for him or for his $$$$.

I also that why him & lisa bonded so strongly.She had that too being elvis preselys daughter , she understood where michael was coming from on that front.


Lisa promised mike that she would have his kids but when she changed her mind- he was MAD. I think that literally put his trust in lisa down and he couldnt trust her ever again.
 
You explained this perfectly. I too believe he remained spiritually faithful to her throughout the longing, distance, time, marriages, broken promises and unrealized dreams.

We would never have been able to come this far with these clues had this not been the case.

Yes, maybe he DID remain "faithful," in a sense, in his own mind? But yet , he was a human-being and his life was advancing, and he wanted what any person deserves. A family, and children. Especially, children. . . .

But. what if they were in dysjuncture? What if she knew more than HE did? What if she remained faithful to the ideal, and to what should have been? And he did not? Isn't it always the fate of women. . to WAIT, to hope, and to dream? His life went on, and he made certain choices that broke her heart? But yet, she remained faithful? What does THAT say, about gender, and love, and choices, and the sacrifice of faithfulness?

For women. . for some women . . . the spiritual and physical are NOT different. Some women decline the physical if it's not the whole "package?" For men, they don't always care that much? It's DIFFERENT? Maybe he still had more to learn, about faithfulness? He was a MAN, right? He didn't have the same ideas that she did, or did not have the same understanding of faithfulness? He sang his songs, and they were ethereal and other-worldly, but that was not the same to her? She expected, and WANTED, that he would be faithful in all ways?

Men and women are DIFFERENT. Michael believed in honoring women. In YANA, on stage, he bowed down to women. But did he truly believe and live that concept? He was a MAN.

Uhm, discuss?

Vic
 
Wow i haven't been here in a longggg time. I really have some catching up to do in here
 
Are some of you familiar with the story of Ishmael in the Bible? If you are then you will understand what I mean when I say many of us who have walked with God and have tried to trust Him (but end up not waiting on God) can create our own "Ishmael" situations.

MJ may have lifted up a prayer, or two, or a hundred, to God to bring him and this LITD girl together in marriage, but when it didn't happen as MJ had planned or hoped, or in the timing he had prefered, he might have "taken things" into his own hands and decided to marry Lisa Marie. I believe MJ loved Lisa Marie. But I think it is very possible she was an Ishmael. But, of course, God allowed him to marry Lisa Marie.

MJ wanted children...he yearned very strongly for children. God would have known that desire in MJ's heart. After Lisa Marie disappointed him in this area, someone came along and offered to have his children. I think Debbie Rowe could very well have been an Ishmael. And God obviously allowed it. And what two beautiful gifts to Michael came out of it! God is merciful, understanding and loving.

Sometimes it is very, very hard to wait on God to fulfil his spoken promises to us in our lives. When we give up on Him, we settle for second best. Sometimes that can get us into trouble; often it can cause us pain. But God can turn even our mistakes around. "All things work together for good, for those who love God and are called according to His purposes."

The thing I've always understood about God, is that we have "free-will," or we would be robots. We can make choices. But imagine the incredible pain, to them both, if his love for LMP was only partial? Only the individual, and God, know what is thought about when the lights go out? In Memphis, or otherwise? It's clear that he did not love LMP ENOUGH. That is sad, for them both.
 
Hi queen g.. hmmm interesting conversation you guys are having!! Now i must get back to reading what i missed :lol:
 
I love this thread and i lurk over it without ever posting anything. So i just wanted to come out of my hiding spot and say hi to you all. Its great reading, got lots more to read..

helen.
 
Around this long and wonderful discussion, sometimes I think loves varying success at various times. Each one with its strength, its beauty and its pain.
But I also recognize the difficulty of imagining them a writing process where you need to enhance the sound of words, embedding the melody, causing them to create the basis of these criteria and escape from the initial inspiration.
Creating beautiful verses who do not always come from the initial inspiration, but which have a new plot ... and an incredible beauty.

But I see intense feelings ...
Give in to me
I've Spent A Lifetime / Looking For Someone / Do not Try To Understand
Just Simply Do The / Things I Say
(...)
Love Is A Feeling / Quench My Desire

Sounds to me like the urgency of living with intensity it feels. This desire to realize ... reciprocity. Do not try to understand me, just love me ...
:)
 
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Michael's music seems to be the map. :)

AllforMJ first of all, I want to join mystygirl in thanking you for beginning this discussion. Its the kind of thing that on my own I think I notice something here or there and try and let it go figuring its all in my head, then coming across this thread and feel like, 'well, maybe there is some sense in what I''m perceiving or at the very least ok, I'm not alone' lol and I find it interesting that although we all hear some differences everything does still seem to line up for all our 'versions' of what appears to be a 'storyline'.

I did watch both and its amazing the difference. Hard to put in words but once again I'll just say, its clear that MJ was very much enjoying himself whereas in the first one he was clearly working.

Not that I'm saying he made it look 'hard' or like 'work', its just that his energy and attention in the fist one is so intense and in this one it seemed that he not only was out to entertain masses but this time he was also out to entertain himself.

He really did put a LOT of feeling into the second one too. The first one seemed to contain a bit of anguish. He repeated, 'its a heart ache' and crying like a baby, ya know the little whiney sound when he says, 'all my life, all my life' - its painful. The new one he's just delighting in the feelings he's singing and hearing being sung and he's playful throughout the entire thing. It also looks like he was ready to really wanting to touch someone, really much. He did a lot of touching in the new one whereas in the older one he's pretending to touch her and never quite does it. In the new one he's having an absolute blast.
You are very welcome, STATEofSHOCK. Very welcome. Glad you are still having fun in it!
:flowers:

Hey! :wild: Ya know what you said about MJ's music being a map? This is so true! His music is the map and this is why we all have been able to travel through it with him leading/singing the way. LOL
:yes:

Here is an example...

Near the end of the first video you watched of his rehearsal for "I Just Can't Stop Loving You," he told the person sitting in front of the stage, "...I want to just turn around and discover that she's gone...cause it gives me somewhere to go for the front of "She's Out Of My Life." I can walk my way there..."

See that? He's revealing that he is traveling through the music! He walked from "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" to "She's Out Of My Life!

Now, the journey is continuing on, but this time when he traveled through "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" he was feeling happy and he did not go to a place where he was showing that she was gone. Instead, he was showing with his playfulness that she was not gone. Because she was not gone, and he was happy about it, he finished the song.

He was having so much fun during the new rehearsal! And yes, I agree! He did a lot of touching in the new one! He did it like he was saying "I gotchu now, girl!" LOL

Personally, I cannot thank her enough for such a wonderful gift this thread has been to those who believe MJ truly had a "special lady" and to those who believe he had a "special someone" in his mind.

P.S. Uhh, about the birth of this thread and the closing as well as the reopening of it, I gladly accept corrections needed; especially from you, AllForMJ, the one who began it all.
Glad you are still enjoying the thread, mystygrl, and it's nice seeing you.
:flowers:

That is what I mean by when we get ahead of God we can end up causing trouble for ourselves, cause ourselves unnecessary pain, AND hurt others, as well. I believe he loved Lisa Marie but perhaps the "timing" for him to marry someone was wrong, for God still needed time to heal MJ in areas in him that involved past wounding that God knew would get in the way of having a successful marriage. His taking off for six months was his way of handling the pain and turbulance in his marriage, and this is an indication that he didn't know how to deal. Running from the pain was probably a pattern for him already established in his life due to past experiences. It would take God's healing to break that pattern. But MJ was not ready for that healing by the time he married Lisa Marie, and God would know that, but allowed the marriage, like you say, Victoria, because God gives us the choice. Lisa Marie was hurt in the relationship, and Michael was hurt in the relationship, too. But God could have turned that for good in Michael's life when later on he reflected on the relationship. He might have learned a thing or two about himself, making him more ready for relationships later in his life.

Moving away from Lisa Marie and back to the girl of this thread...

Michael was a human male. Yes. And I would guess his LITD is a human female. Therefore, they were both capable of making wrong decisions in their lives, being at times unfair, unreasonable, selfish, foolish, and all the things us humans can be like off and on in our lives. Michael was no doubt capable of hurting her, and she was no doubt capable of hurting him, too. His lyrics speak of his being hurt by her, or her actions at least. And yes, maybe she was hurt somehow by his actions in the past, too. It's very, very possible. It's human stuff.

Linda made a point in a post of hers in here once to stress that Michael is a human being. It was cute the way she did it. Don't we want him to be a human being? Then he, like us, would have maybe hurt others at times.
Uh-huh. It seems like after going through the marriages and the hurt he started protecting his heart while also still yearning for a certain someone. The years that he's been singing to her between '03 and '09 which are the years when the tone of the love songs softened seems to be the amount of time that it took for him to realize how much he wanted her and that he needed her in his life while he was working on turning his life around.

MJ and Will.i.am on Access Hollywood (listen to the music that is playing from 1:02 to 1:20. After listening to it click pause and then click on the below link)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nWCY_y6u9E

This is the full song that they are listening to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TevJYvwXiMg

Isn't it interesting how what is being said in this song matches much of what you are saying? .

Wow i haven't been here in a longggg time. I really have some catching up to do in here
Hi MJbabe21! Long time no see! *hug*

I love this thread and i lurk over it without ever posting anything. So i just wanted to come out of my hiding spot and say hi to you all. Its great reading, got lots more to read..

helen.
Hi Helen aka crazy4umjackson! Welcome and it's nice that you're enjoying the topic!
:flowers:

God did not have his/her hand in either of these Marriages. But other people and other things surely did.

These were not marriages based on the ideals and committments Michael wanted for himself. How do I know this? Because with both of these marriages, Michael continued to yearn, long and sing about the love he really needed and wanted. A man who is married and should be showing signs of pure bliss and happiness in ALL expects of his life but who clearly was not, reveals a man still searching and unsatisfied with what was before him.
Yep! And it was when he knew that God had stepped in to help out with things that we started hearing love songs like "The Way You Love Me" which has the line "I thank the Heavens above that I met you" and the line "You came in time."
:yes:

By the way, hello, Moddie!

yep a sigh was definately there. i always have fun with u guys on this thread! :D
Never leave God, 8701girl. This world gets harder to deal with without Him.

Also, don't forget because of the beautiful gifts that God has placed in MJ, you now have friends all over the world.
 
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Never leave God, 8701girl. This world gets harder to deal with without Him.

Also, don't forget because of the beautiful gifts that God has placed in MJ, you now have friends all over the world.


Yes if it wasnt for mj, i wouldnt have met all of u guys here @ mjjc and im so grateful & thankful for that.
 
Hello AllforMJ and 8701girl :hiya: Its good to see you guys as well :) I have a question for Moddie.. I was wondering if you had any recent dreams lately.. sorry i missed so much :lol: maybe i should try and figure out where i left off. idk if that will help :lol:
 
Its good 2 see u too mjbabae! :D

yeh moddie, have u had any mj realted dreams lately?
 
8701girl and MJbabe21, No, I haven't had anymore dreams about MJ and his lady love.
 
Yes, maybe he DID remain "faithful," in a sense, in his own mind? But yet , he was a human-being and his life was advancing, and he wanted what any person deserves. A family, and children. Especially, children. . . .

But. what if they were in dysjuncture? What if she knew more than HE did? What if she remained faithful to the ideal, and to what should have been? And he did not? Isn't it always the fate of women. . to WAIT, to hope, and to dream? His life went on, and he made certain choices that broke her heart? But yet, she remained faithful? What does THAT say, about gender, and love, and choices, and the sacrifice of faithfulness?

For women. . for some women . . . the spiritual and physical are NOT different. Some women decline the physical if it's not the whole "package?" For men, they don't always care that much? It's DIFFERENT? Maybe he still had more to learn, about faithfulness? He was a MAN, right? He didn't have the same ideas that she did, or did not have the same understanding of faithfulness? He sang his songs, and they were ethereal and other-worldly, but that was not the same to her? She expected, and WANTED, that he would be faithful in all ways?

Men and women are DIFFERENT. Michael believed in honoring women. In YANA, on stage, he bowed down to women. But did he truly believe and live that concept? He was a MAN.

Uhm, discuss?

Vic



I will start by answering your last question first about Michael bowing down to women and whether or not he truly believed and lived that concept? I believe from what Michael has shown us through his marriages and the songs he chooses to release, that he ONLY bows down to a woman in his life when he knows the union between the two has been blessed by God. Michael has shown signs of not giving his all when he feels unsatisfied in his personal life with women. He goes away for weeks at a time without notice according to first wife, he appears distant and unromantic towards second wife when being seen out in public or photographed, you immediately get the sense it wasn't a love affair long before Debbie Rowe admitted the true nature of the marriage( Giving MJ the gift of being a father).
Michael's lyrics and poems about this special someone reveals a man who's heart and soul was deeply connected and bound to "hers" inspite of walls and barriers standing between them. He knew long agao, she was the one, imagine marrying others when your soul is crying out for someone else.
I believe both Michael and this lady HAD to go on, Michael's lyrics and clues indicate, they didn't have much of a choice. To me, this mean both of them went on with their lives and had other people. We know for a fact MJ did, I can only imagine, it was the same for her.
I can not imagine the hurt, disappointment and pain they both felt, we got a glimpse of it in songs like, "Will you be there", and "who is it". and thats just coming from MJ.

I am not finished, but i have to leave now. will try and come back and complete this post later.
 
Just wanna say sometimes its hard 2 belive. Everytime i try 2 belive in love - i get shut down compelety. It always feels like some dark force keeps getting in the way and just wont stop. It has made me stop beliveing the power of prayer, so much so that i have stopped praying.
Not so sure about the prayer part but I agree with what you said about love.

Since MJ died, I've been so afraid of love, so much so that I probably hate the notion of LOVE sometimes. Before all of this, I was "Boy Crazy". I'd daydream forever. I had a thousand crushes. I sort of became a relapsed MJ fan after the trial. But life was still OK. As long as I knew he was breathing somehwere in this world , life was OK. He was my security blanket even though I didn't know it until the day he died. Since then, I have never fallen in love. the thought of liking someone is so stranger to me now, which is a very weird feeling. I used to insist upon marrying someday and having a gazillion children. Now, those mean absolutely nothing to me. All I've learned is that Love is something very dangerous. Sometimes I wish I never fell in love with MJ at all. My life is in complete shambles.:no:
 
^^
Yeah, things in this world can often cause people to veer off course, but if L.O.V.E. is on its mission to bring two people together and it is saying to them, "Hey you two, you've been going the wrong way," it is going to win at the game of tug-of-war as it is stronger than both of them and everything around them that may be pulling them in two different directions.

Remember what MJ said in the love song he wrote during the trial titled, "You Are So Beautiful?" He said, "Your true love showed me the way...the way I had to go."

So, even though he has left this world before her, he did not leave without first getting a chance to experience having her love in his life. He is revealing this in "The Way You Love Me" by saying:

I was alone in the dark when I met you...
You took my hand and you told me you love me
I was alone
There was no love in my life
I was afraid of life
And you came in time

Seeing how he has now actually left this world it also makes the love song "Heaven Can Wait" even more power. This is a very deep song when we listen to what it is saying.

Glad he managed to hold on a while longer. The angels came and got him a little over seven years after recording this love song. In this song he said, "Tell them that I've run off with my baby" and in "This Is It" he mentioned running away too, but they still took him home.

Isn't it amazing how his love songs are telling a story about his life?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAZWUVGxXI4
 
Believing, Wishing, Hoping, Dreaming.....is the beautiful light that burns within our hearts and imaginations.....yet is sometimes overshadowed by Reality, Truth, and Knowing, that some things will never be.....
 
Very nicely, worded, Victoria. Thanks for saying things so simply and clearly to sum this thread all up! :flowers:

For example, "And you said to me you don’t want me hanging round," c.

I am not sure, I do not hear it well, but I think maybe it was in the song
"And you said to me you don’t want be hanging around" or "And you said to me you don’t want hanging around".

This changes the whole sense, not MJ didn't want to hang around, but the girl didn't want to hang around maybe like other girls and fans do?
 
^^
Yeah, things in this world can often cause people to veer off course, but if L.O.V.E. is on its mission to bring two people together and it is saying to them, "Hey you two, you've been going the wrong way," it is going to win at the game of tug-of-war as it is stronger than both of them and everything around them that may be pulling them in two different directions.

Remember what MJ said in the love song he wrote during the trial titled, "You Are So Beautiful?" He said, "Your true love showed me the way...the way I had to go."

So, even though he has left this world before her, he did not leave without first getting a chance to experience having her love in his life. He is revealing this in "The Way You Love Me" by saying:

I was alone in the dark when I met you...
You took my hand and you told me you love me
I was alone
There was no love in my life
I was afraid of life
And you came in time

Seeing how he has now actually left this world it also makes the love song "Heaven Can Wait" even more power. This is a very deep song when we listen to what it is saying.

Glad he managed to hold on a while longer. The angels came and got him a little over seven years after recording this love song. In this song he said, "Tell them that I've run off with my baby" and in "This Is It" he mentioned running away too, but they still took him home.

Isn't it amazing how his love songs are telling a story about his life?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAZWUVGxXI4

So true, also many other songs goes as far as predicting his life too.

Wasn't TII recorded during the 80s? I also remember an ET interview he did in 1984, where he states that he hopes to fall in love with someone later on and run off somewhere forever where no one knows his whereabouts. I believe this is in accordance with TII as it was written around the same time period. But I maybe totally off. This interview is a rare interview that can be found on youtube btw.
 
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