Stranger
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- Aug 14, 2005
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I know that everything has probably already been said with regards to this man, but I just wanted to share my thoughts.
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Although I have been following the trial, it has really shocked me at how little I care about anything to do with it. I just don’t feel angry, even after I hear all the devastating testimony. I feel terribly sad and hurt, but I don’t feel a thing towards the doctor. I can’t understand it really. Before Michael’s passing, if I were to imagine a drunk driver recklessly killing Michael or anyone I loved, I would be consumed with fury. Yet, I feel nothing, even though Dr Murray’s actions are not dissimilar.
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To see his face in court most days, I just can’t muster up the energy to hate him. He looks so pathetic, almost inhuman, just sitting there with that blank look on his face. It seems almost implausible that this insignificant, useless man is the result of the death of Michael Jackson, world’s most famous man; most beloved entertainer. It makes no sense that he took everything from all the fans who loved him, who grew to care about him. It makes no sense that he took away all the hopes and dreams that Michael had, that he took away any chance of Michael having a future. How can it be that this one man is the reason that the lives of Prince, Paris and Blanket were turned upside down and changed irreversibly? How can it be that they’ll never see their beloved father, who loved them so much he willingly put his career on hold for them, who showered them with love and care every day of their lives? How can this one pathetic individual be the reason that Michael will never see his babies grow up?
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It seems so very wrong. It’s become painfully clear that his greed, weakness and utter incompetence are the cause of Michael’s death. All those mistakes everyone has highlighted, all those things he did that he shouldn’t have done. All those things he should have done, but didn't.
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It’s also damn clear he’s lying. That’s what hurts the most. Either way he’s lying. If he really did leave him alone for just 2 minutes, then he’s clearly the one who gave him the extra dose as there is not enough time for Michael to have woken up, diluted the propofol with lidocaine, pushed it into himself and managed to feel the full effects of it to the extent he stopped breathing. Not possible. If as he claims it’s true that Michael self-administered, then he’s lying about leaving him alone for 2 minutes. It would have taken much longer for all of the above to happen. We already know he was on the phone for at least 47 minutes. The fact that he even lied about this suggests a consciousness of guilt. Lying to the paramedics and medical staff at the hospital adds to this theory.
</SPAN></SPAN>
This is what is so puzzling. If he KNOWS he’s lying and is guilty, why the hell is he acting like he hasn’t done anything wrong? He can’t possibly be deluded if he’s told all these lies to cover it up. If he REALLY believed he is innocent, as he claims, why the need to lie? No. There is something more to this. I just don’t understand what it is.
</SPAN></SPAN>
No matter what the true version is, he’s keeping the truth from everyone. How can he let this happen? Whichever version of the story is the real truth, he’s lied throughout this. Why can’t he do the last decent thing for his “friend” and at the very least, give Michael’s poor mother some closure? Tell everyone the truth and stop all this wondering. What kind of “friend” puts his dead friend’s reputation on the line just to save his own skin? It’s unforgivable.
</SPAN></SPAN>
There is not a single doctor that would support what he did and yet, he acts innocent. When he writes those notes in court or tries to assist his lawyers, I just feel as if he doesn’t GET it. He doesn’t quite understand what everyone is saying. He doesn’t seem to register what he’s taken from everyone- The enormity of his decisions that fatal day. I feel he sees himself as a doctor still. He doesn’t seem aware that he’s never going to be allowed to practise medicine again. That’s delusion surely? Yet how can it be, when he knows he’s done wrong?
</SPAN></SPAN>
That taped interview made things worse. He sounded so intelligent and medically sharp. How could he allow this to happen at all? I can’t imagine how he feels knowing what he knows.
</SPAN></SPAN>
But if he was to show an ounce of remorse, it might make sense. If he could just stand up and say, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that I was greedy and stupid. I’m so sorry that my recklessness caused this devastating tragedy. I’m so sorry to all of Michael’s family and children. There is nothing that can ever make up for this.”
</SPAN></SPAN>
It would mean we at last understand what happened- that this man was flawed and acted without due care for his patient.
</SPAN></SPAN>
Instead, he’s allowing everyone to feel extra grief by not knowing what happened to Michael. This makes what he did even more unforgivable. If he cared about Michael, he’d tell the truth.
</SPAN></SPAN>
Whatever the verdict, I don’t feel too hopeful. As much as I want him to be imprisoned, at least for the very fact that he’ll finally understand the enormity of his actions, what good does it do really? It won’t change anything will it? But that doesn’t mean we should just give up on any hope. Michael never found any justice in life. It seems right that he should be given some in death. </SPAN>
</SPAN></SPAN>
Although I have been following the trial, it has really shocked me at how little I care about anything to do with it. I just don’t feel angry, even after I hear all the devastating testimony. I feel terribly sad and hurt, but I don’t feel a thing towards the doctor. I can’t understand it really. Before Michael’s passing, if I were to imagine a drunk driver recklessly killing Michael or anyone I loved, I would be consumed with fury. Yet, I feel nothing, even though Dr Murray’s actions are not dissimilar.
</SPAN></SPAN>
To see his face in court most days, I just can’t muster up the energy to hate him. He looks so pathetic, almost inhuman, just sitting there with that blank look on his face. It seems almost implausible that this insignificant, useless man is the result of the death of Michael Jackson, world’s most famous man; most beloved entertainer. It makes no sense that he took everything from all the fans who loved him, who grew to care about him. It makes no sense that he took away all the hopes and dreams that Michael had, that he took away any chance of Michael having a future. How can it be that this one man is the reason that the lives of Prince, Paris and Blanket were turned upside down and changed irreversibly? How can it be that they’ll never see their beloved father, who loved them so much he willingly put his career on hold for them, who showered them with love and care every day of their lives? How can this one pathetic individual be the reason that Michael will never see his babies grow up?
</SPAN></SPAN>
It seems so very wrong. It’s become painfully clear that his greed, weakness and utter incompetence are the cause of Michael’s death. All those mistakes everyone has highlighted, all those things he did that he shouldn’t have done. All those things he should have done, but didn't.
</SPAN></SPAN>
It’s also damn clear he’s lying. That’s what hurts the most. Either way he’s lying. If he really did leave him alone for just 2 minutes, then he’s clearly the one who gave him the extra dose as there is not enough time for Michael to have woken up, diluted the propofol with lidocaine, pushed it into himself and managed to feel the full effects of it to the extent he stopped breathing. Not possible. If as he claims it’s true that Michael self-administered, then he’s lying about leaving him alone for 2 minutes. It would have taken much longer for all of the above to happen. We already know he was on the phone for at least 47 minutes. The fact that he even lied about this suggests a consciousness of guilt. Lying to the paramedics and medical staff at the hospital adds to this theory.
</SPAN></SPAN>
This is what is so puzzling. If he KNOWS he’s lying and is guilty, why the hell is he acting like he hasn’t done anything wrong? He can’t possibly be deluded if he’s told all these lies to cover it up. If he REALLY believed he is innocent, as he claims, why the need to lie? No. There is something more to this. I just don’t understand what it is.
</SPAN></SPAN>
No matter what the true version is, he’s keeping the truth from everyone. How can he let this happen? Whichever version of the story is the real truth, he’s lied throughout this. Why can’t he do the last decent thing for his “friend” and at the very least, give Michael’s poor mother some closure? Tell everyone the truth and stop all this wondering. What kind of “friend” puts his dead friend’s reputation on the line just to save his own skin? It’s unforgivable.
</SPAN></SPAN>
There is not a single doctor that would support what he did and yet, he acts innocent. When he writes those notes in court or tries to assist his lawyers, I just feel as if he doesn’t GET it. He doesn’t quite understand what everyone is saying. He doesn’t seem to register what he’s taken from everyone- The enormity of his decisions that fatal day. I feel he sees himself as a doctor still. He doesn’t seem aware that he’s never going to be allowed to practise medicine again. That’s delusion surely? Yet how can it be, when he knows he’s done wrong?
</SPAN></SPAN>
That taped interview made things worse. He sounded so intelligent and medically sharp. How could he allow this to happen at all? I can’t imagine how he feels knowing what he knows.
</SPAN></SPAN>
But if he was to show an ounce of remorse, it might make sense. If he could just stand up and say, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that I was greedy and stupid. I’m so sorry that my recklessness caused this devastating tragedy. I’m so sorry to all of Michael’s family and children. There is nothing that can ever make up for this.”
</SPAN></SPAN>
It would mean we at last understand what happened- that this man was flawed and acted without due care for his patient.
</SPAN></SPAN>
Instead, he’s allowing everyone to feel extra grief by not knowing what happened to Michael. This makes what he did even more unforgivable. If he cared about Michael, he’d tell the truth.
</SPAN></SPAN>
Whatever the verdict, I don’t feel too hopeful. As much as I want him to be imprisoned, at least for the very fact that he’ll finally understand the enormity of his actions, what good does it do really? It won’t change anything will it? But that doesn’t mean we should just give up on any hope. Michael never found any justice in life. It seems right that he should be given some in death. </SPAN>
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