Re: Paris Jackson to appear on Ellen - December 8th (Begins acting career)
How would you feel if every single one of your mistakes are being magnified to a degree out of proportion? How would you feel if your parenting skill is being judged by total strangers who have never met or talked to you? And all these strangers justified their harsh criticisms by saying they have concerns over your children, whom they have never met or talked to either.
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See, I wasn't sure if you were talking about Michael- or his mother... Because people did that to Michael and his parenting choices day in and day out! Strangers having an opinion. That's the great thing about double standards.
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How would I feel? Well I would address the issue, I wouldn't ignore people and carry on.
Apparently Michael also doesn't feel like bowing down to a bunch of strangers who thought it to be the most ridiculous thing to veil his very young kids in public- why?? Because he was the parent, he was the caretaker.
Life as a parent to me is very much NOT dependent on what other people tell me. If I listened to other people, I would have hurt my child. "Oh, put him down, you're spoiling him yaddayaddayadda" (the whole mainstream litany people unleash on insecure firsttimers...) - turns out that baby that was asking to be held so desperately had an illness- I would have never known if I followed that "advice"- until it would have been very late.
"He needs to learn to sleep in his own bed".
^^^Yeah, I'm sure 20 years down the road his boss is gonna ask him "So, listen, as 3 year old, did you mainly sleep in your bed- or in the place that can't be beat- with a parent?"
People give advice all day long.
"Why are you nursing this child????" "He needs a stroller, not this primitive carry-him-around- stuff". "Aren't those socks to cold/hot? He needs a hat/he doesn't need a hat. He needs suncreen/sunscreen is disgusting dangerous stuff."
"He needs to be spanked."
No thanks, we don't hit anyone in this house, that extends to children.
The list goes on an on. I also often go against my own parents advice- not because I do not love them- but because raising your children is not a people pleasing contest, just as many people spend their trying to please the unpleasable. I'm constantly amazed how many people feel obligated to do things on this "because this is how it's done" type deal.
I completely learned to ignore people where I can feel and see that they are just repeating commonplace hot air the way people say not to wear white after Labor Day.
People LOVELOVELOVE to give 'advice' on how other people should raise their kids.
But I love to listen to those who share, when something genuinely worked for them.
Guess what- sometimes as parent you even have to disagree with your own child's doctor...because YOU are the caretaker and not anybody else.
I don't elevate Michael into infallible saint status- but one thing I learned from him: You're the one taking care of those kids- you know them and their hearts- everyone else can go pound sand. He didn't let public opinion sway him- he had the full picture and thus knew why he veiled his children when he did. A lot of us can learn a lot from someone who did what he considered right- he even got called names etc.
I also think that we might be a tad unfair to Michael who passed away when his children were quite at a juncture- as a parent you have to deal with things as they happen. I'm sure he wouldn't have insisted on treating his teenagers the way he parented them as an 8 year old.
Being a parent means that the only obligation I have is to do right by that child- nobody else. I'm not talking about neglect issues here such as malnutrition etc- just difference in opinion.
Life is not about doing what everyone else wants you to do- we do that at work because we need to earn a living. People are way too stuck in this mentality of living their life for someone else. To realize that on my deathbed- would be a tad too late.
And Michael Jackson was very central for me to start approaching life from that standpoint. That doesn't mean I agree with every Katherine Jackson does- far, far from. But if someone would seriously live their life by the opinions of a bunch of talking heads on the internet- THAT would worry me more than a potential flop of some movie.
People seem to use absolutely everything to blow it out of proportion. We're talking about a movie here- but just to make sure nobody 'forgets', we're gonna dig out the signed belt story, too. It's like an argument where she always has to bring up some past stuff. Which really makes him listen in return. ;D
Paris Jackson will experience many instances in her life where countless people will pull her into different directions- something her father knew more than well. There is no pleasing everyone. Just living your life.
By the way, this is hypothetical... what if she has a deal with Grandma? Maintain a certain grade point average- and you get to do certain things that you want to do? Let your grades slip- and you won't get to do that? Are you in that house, do you even know if maybe all these things are in place? Just saying.
