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DEVASTATED. Anyone tried professional help already?

micah

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I am not able to cope with the loss, and I feel like I am drowning in the dark hole of depression. Michael was my life. He was my saviour, my rock, my strength, my motivation, my drive, my only joy and happiness, my medicine for every bad day, for every turmoil in life. Now, I am EMPTY, left naked in the cruel world, with no protection, no solace, no escape. I have been crying every single day since June 25, and the pain and stress has taken its toll on me, both mentally and physically. My friends advised me to look for professional help but I am scared of being laughed at or misunderstood. How in the hell will someone understand my grief for Michael Jackson? I am lost.
Has anyone already tried any counselling, or tried to reach out for any form of professional help? If so, what kind of help was that, and does it really help?
 
Surely somebody must have tried this already? I wonder what the councellors say? I think you should go for it. Better than drowning in your own sorrow. Best wishes, sister.
 
I've been contemplating emailing the samaritans and seeing what they've got to say.
 
Try the samaritans guys... If you don't like it - hang up! It's worth a try. Also listen to things like 'Keep The Faith' and 'Smile' those two songs have really helped me recently. Avoid 'Gone Too Soon' for the time being. I've been going to Anthony King's MJ style Dance classes (Covent Garden) and this has really helped me to focus on the inspiration he has given me. If you can't get there put on Dvd's/youtube and try and imitate his dance moves - you may not feel like it and it might sound crazy but you'll imagine him watching you and laughing his head off! Then you'll smile. We all need each other at this time so don't suffer in silence try and meet with other fans when possible, I believe many still meet at the O2.
 
Julia55 said:
Try the samaritans guys... If you don't like it - hang up! It's worth a try. Also listen to things like 'Keep The Faith' and 'Smile' those two songs have really helped me recently. Avoid 'Gone Too Soon' for the time being. I've been going to Anthony King's MJ style Dance classes (Covent Garden) and this has really helped me to focus on the inspiration he has given me. If you can't get there put on Dvd's/youtube and try and imitate his dance moves - you may not feel like it and it might sound crazy but you'll imagine him watching you and laughing his head off! Then you'll smile. We all need each other at this time so don't suffer in silence try and meet with other fans when possible, I believe many still meet at the O2.
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Listening to his music or watching videos is out of question for me. I am unable to do it. It's tearing me apart completely, to the point where I could hurt myself.
 
I'm not going to tell you to not hurt yourself because I have been there. I have and for most part, I still am in the same boat as you. It hurts more than anything to watch videos and listen to his music, but I do it anyway because I'd never be able to go a few hours without hearing his voice or seeing his smile. I cry almost every time, but I wouldn't be without it.

I try to get by each day, one at a time. Most days are so hard but I feel comfort in youtube videos of Michael and listening to his songs. I just want to be with Michael in every way that I can...
 
Dear Micah,

I'm so sorry you are in so much pain. I don't think it could hurt to see a therapist or counselor if you feel your grief is getting in the way of your life significantly or if you feel you could hurt yourself if you listened to his music (as you mentioned in your last post). A good therapist will not laugh at you or judge you -- he or she has devoted their life to helping people and if they are licensed there are ethical codes. Maybe you could ask someone you trust for a referral, or ask your medical doctor?

There is no shame in asking for help and it doesn't mean anything is "wrong" with you or that you'll have to be in therapy forever or anything. Two years ago I began speaking to someone about anxiety and panic attacks I was having frequently, and through several months of cognitive-behavioral therapy I consider myself a million times better than before -- really one of the best things I ever did for myself.

The feelings we are all going through are legitimate and very real. Even if other people make you feel bad or laugh at you for your feelings, a therapist will not do this.

I'll be thinking of you and hoping you feel better. Hugs and love to you!
 
i have gone to seek help and found it very helpful but the pain has really hit me bad all over again over the past weeks.Its the 25th july and its hit me all over again.
 
Please add me to MSN:

Mentalist@live.com


I am having a lot of trouble coming to terms with my grief about Michael but I believe I have the ability to help those who are really falling down and contemplating hurting themselves.

So please contact me and we can try to get through this together.
 
jemini515 said:
Dear Micah,

I'm so sorry you are in so much pain. I don't think it could hurt to see a therapist or counselor if you feel your grief is getting in the way of your life significantly or if you feel you could hurt yourself if you listened to his music (as you mentioned in your last post). A good therapist will not laugh at you or judge you -- he or she has devoted their life to helping people and if they are licensed there are ethical codes. Maybe you could ask someone you trust for a referral, or ask your medical doctor?

There is no shame in asking for help and it doesn't mean anything is "wrong" with you or that you'll have to be in therapy forever or anything. Two years ago I began speaking to someone about anxiety and panic attacks I was having frequently, and through several months of cognitive-behavioral therapy I consider myself a million times better than before -- really one of the best things I ever did for myself.

The feelings we are all going through are legitimate and very real. Even if other people make you feel bad or laugh at you for your feelings, a therapist will not do this.

I'll be thinking of you and hoping you feel better. Hugs and love to you!
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you can't get a better advice than this one. help is available.
Hang in there ok! *hugs*
 
Hi Micah, you asked a question and I see people are shy about answering it but being completely honest yes I have sought professional help. Both with my Doctor and a psychologist. Does it help? I find it easier talking to my Doctor so far. I trust my Doctor a lot and trust them. And it does help talking about issues with a professional. Alot of people are nervous and unsure about seeing psychologist but it really isnt as bad as people might think. You go into an appointment and they ask you questions and you talk about various things and it can help gaining perspective. Either way I think its a good idea.
 
Just like you, Michael is my whole life and he means the world to me. Michael was my saviour and my greatest comfort. Now I find myself lost, alone and scared. I dont know if seeing a therapist would be my best option. I dont feel like they would understand. I feel like coming here in a way is therapy because there are others that are going through what I am. It hurts me that I cant listen to some of Michaels songs because of the pain and I never thought I would say that :cry:
 
Thank you everyone for your replies, and KRISM, thank you for admitting to having sought professional help. I know it's difficult to admit, for me it's even difficult to admit that I may need that help.

Please keep sharing your experience everyone, maybe it will help not only me but many others to go this route as well.
 
Its not that difficult admitting it because its the truth and i find the truth comforting and empowering. Alot of people have pride issues about seeking help. I try not to give into pride or that whole mindset of well nobody would understand so its better not to seek help mindset. I think a lot of people have this idea of what happens in a psychology session. Of laying down on a couch and going well doc it all began in my childhood.... Its not like that and I think alot of people arent giving psychologists nearly enough credit for being able to help. Even some of my friends wont go to a psychologist or doctor saying well they wont understand me, or will think im being stupid. Far far from that everyone. Nobody on this planet is so special that people cant help them or understand them. If youre not coping give up the pride issue and thinking nobody can help. How do you know unless you try? And if the psychologist or doctor you see is no good (hey it happens) go to another one. There are many avenues for help. and theres no shame in admitting you need help. Hell, there are so many people hurting and obviously having trouble coping - its okay to say hey i need help and maybe need to see someone on a professional basis to help me through this period. But above all you need to be honest with the psychologist and yourself because otherwise it defeats the purpose of seeking help but alot of people hate talking about what really matters and admitting they need help and confronting the issues that are bothering them.
 
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. coming on here to be with everyone is my therphy i feel .
 
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Hey hun *hugs*
I'm getting to the point too where I feel I've got to do something to help myself. I just feel I can't do anything that will make this pain go away but I also know this is one of the ways that depression like this can trick you. :( But we have to have hope that something is going to bring us out of this. I really hope you start to feel better soon, good luck with going to get help if you decide to go that route. You know I am always here if you want to talk. :)
 
StaceyMJ said:
Hey hun *hugs*
I'm getting to the point too where I feel I've got to do something to help myself. I just feel I can't do anything that will make this pain go away but I also know this is one of the ways that depression like this can trick you. :( But we have to have hope that something is going to bring us out of this. I really hope you start to feel better soon, good luck with going to get help if you decide to go that route. You know I am always here if you want to talk. :)
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Thank you so much Stacey.
 
yeah depression does trick the mind. it tells you things will always be this way that theres no point going on that nobody else will understand. depression feeds these lies to the mind like a loop and if you listen to it too much you begin to feel paralysed with fear and doubt.
 
*hugs* i feel your pain. I feel it so much. i can't cope with this anymore, I really can't. Every day is like hell - this heartache is killing me. How can anything go on? I don't know how to do anything anymore. :( I feel empty. I am so shattered. He was my BEST FRIEND, my ANGEL on Earth, my COMFORT, the AIR that I breathed, my INSPIRATION, my EVERYTHING. :( :( :( I can't deal with this knowing that he's gone!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like I'm going crazy. I went out for dinner for a friends birthday the other night and it was the first time I'd been out since MJ passed and I couldn't cope. I ended up having a breakdown at the table and had to leave :( I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know if I can see a therapist - I have a really good one I've seen for other issues but I can't believe that she could help with this and I don't think I can talk about this to anyone...it hurts too much! If i try to feel it completely, well I just cant..it's too much :( :( alkfgnsdgnjsfzl!!!!!!!! It chokes me if I try to feel it...I'm in denial... he cant be gone. There's a MJ tribute on in my city today but I can't even get out of the house to go...:( i just cant move. I feel dead inside. :( :(
 
micah said:
I am not able to cope with the loss, and I feel like I am drowning in the dark hole of depression. Michael was my life. He was my saviour, my rock, my strength, my motivation, my drive, my only joy and happiness, my medicine for every bad day, for every turmoil in life. Now, I am EMPTY, left naked in the cruel world, with no protection, no solace, no escape. I have been crying every single day since June 25, and the pain and stress has taken its toll on me, both mentally and physically. My friends advised me to look for professional help but I am scared of being laughed at or misunderstood. How in the hell will someone understand my grief for Michael Jackson? I am lost.
Has anyone already tried any counselling, or tried to reach out for any form of professional help? If so, what kind of help was that, and does it really help?
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I called the grief line ( im in australia ) and they were surprisingly understanding. I was so embarrassed as well since i don't know him personally and he is a celebrity ( when you put grief and celebrity together, it makes you seem like an irrational and over-emotional fool ) but it is so much deeper than that.
I suggest you take the plunge and do it. Silence that voice that reminds you that the therapist is probably thinking " what an idiot " because most likely they aren't.
You're dealing with death here, and they have to help you.
In the meantime im sure you know we're all here to help eachother out :)
take care
 
ive actually done volunteering for lifeline in australia and i can say as one of the counsellors that there was a spike in the number of calls when michael died. people tend to think counsellors dont care about things like fandom and all that but at the end of the day were people too and we care and we listen and were trained to listen. alot of people have trouble getting over the i cant do this - i have to do it myself phase. thats a trap for a lot of people because thats your depression talking and if you let it it can totally ruin your life. there is help out there but you have to open yourself up and take it.
 
also people have alot of misconceptions about professional help. nobody will force you to do anything. alot of the time sessions are just talking. in the first few sessions if youre seeing a psychologist generally its a q&a session with the psychologist asking questions about family life, childhood, school. etc. also they always ask if youve seen a professional before? if you dont want to answer something you dont have to. some people find it hard trusting strangers. and psychologists understand that too. but there are a lot of people hurting and honestly theres so much help out there that you dont need to do this alone and thats one of the biggest misconceptions. alot of people walk around feeling like nobody else will understand what theyre thinking. feeling. what theyve been through. but people surprise you and honestly there are alot of people going through the same thing. even psychologists see psychologists. it doesnt mean youre weak or stupid or anything like that. at the end of the day youre human and its okay to ask for help if you feel you need it.
 
I'm doing all i can to avoid and fight the need of professional help because noone here would understand,that i could be feeling the way i am feeling,because of Michael.
But if the lack of sleep and stomac problems go on,i might have to do it...
 
Mariajoaosilva said:
I'm doing all i can to avoid and fight the need of professional help because noone here would understand,that i could be feeling the way i am feeling,because of Michael.
But if the lack of sleep and stomac problems go on,i might have to do it...
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Maybe if anyone thinks a therapist won't understand their pain because it's about Michael, you could say you've lost a dear friend and proceed that way until you feel safe getting more specific. I don't know, just an idea, though I still would like to think a good professional would understand anyway....
 
its commonplace that people think therapists wont understand there pain but its selling therapists short. they are people too and we deal with all sorts of situations and feelings. the thing with psychological help or seeing a therapist is that its basically about talking and confronting issues that are hurting or bothering you. it could be anything, the death of a celebrity, family issues at home. it doesnt really make any difference what the subject is. at the end of the day we're here to help and a good counsellor, therapist or psychologist does and will listen and try to help.
 
i wish more people would seek professional help. theres obviously alot of people that would benefit from it but its like the saying you can lead a horse to water, but you cant make it drink. the thing about professional help is the sooner you get booked in the sooner a professional can start helping you. but i get the feeling some people are either too prideful or too embarrassed to admit they cant do it alone. either way, most professionals are booked solid with patients and its really first come first served basis. here in australia one of my friends finally relented and wanted to get booked in with a psychairist but found out that none were taking on new patients because they are already booked solid with too many patients. in some ways people can be their own worse enemies because they prolong their suffering and there are so many treatments out there that could benefit them
 
For anyone thinking about professional help - please try. They just might be able to help, and ultimately thats what they are there for.
 
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