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Do you ever feel sad and lonely?

Matt_MJ said:
I'm exactly the same.

I just have minimal confidence when it comes to most things in life, my self esteem is at rock bottom and I'll go through phases of just staying at home for days and not doing anything because I'm not happy with the way I look etc.

I sometimes feel like there's a whole different person inside me, but because I've been stuck in the same ways for so long it's hard to change when everyone knows you for something else.

I have lots of friends but none of them truly understand me - and even though we'll hang out and have a laugh a lot of the time I still feel lonely, sad, and helpless.
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Yeah the same, no confidence at all and definitely don't like the way I look. I'm not saying I think I'm ugly, just not the way I would like to look. I've ditched school so many times just because there have been a presentation infront of the class that I needed to keep etc. And now I need to go the same courses again next year and that just sucks. And all that just because I didn't have the confidence.

I feel like there's someone else inside me too. But I just can't let her live the life she would like to. Like, I really really would love to be open and talkative. Everytime I even try to change myself and have a conversation with someone I just met, they always ask "Why are you so quiet all the time?" and that just doesn't help at all. So I've given up even trying to change the way I am because no matter what I try, I never succeed.
 
jemini515 said:
I've found this message board so supportive and welcoming -- of course you can talk to us!

Everyone feels sad and lonely sometimes, some more than others. I consider myself a "happy" person who has gratitude for what I have, but sometimes feel down for no specific reason. This last month with the loss of Michael I've felt particularly confused and "all over the place", even questioning my core beliefs about what I should do with my life.

I see you are in New York (like me! I'm in Manhattan) which I feel can, counter-intuitively, be a really lonely place. You can KNOW tons and tons of people who are always busy and focused and running around, and time to CONNECT with people can be rare. I look around and see lots of lonely people, like the Stranger in Moscow video. Add in problems with family or friends or other relationships and it can be hard.

Anyway, I hope you find people you can share your feelings with whether on this board or elsewhere. Feel free to PM me if you feel like chatting sometime. :)
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A few days after MJ passed I was in the city walking around on my way to get my lunch. There was a SEA of people and cars and trucks and buses all around me.. literally the streets of midtown were packed FULL OF PEOPLE... and I felt so alone. It was like it just hit me right then, his death, my feelings just everything. I started to cry right in the middle of the street. It's a good thing I had on a pair of sunglasses otherwise folks woulda thought I was crazy.

I've struggled with feelings of loneliness in the past few years and I think that's one of the reasons MJ's death has affected me so much, because in a strange way I understand how he must have felt. Now granted I am NOT MJ and could never feel what he felt on that scale, but just imagining him with so many fans that loved him so much, but the fact that he felt lonely alot of the time is something I think about alot.
 
I feel lonely all the time,even if i have someone around me,but i felt this for a long long time,but since everything has happen its just got 100% worse since it happen i keep calapsing all the time and crying none stop,I have been to my dr and basically she has said to stay away from everything michael which means the boards,how can u do that when this man has been in ur life for 29 years,she just said i think it would be for the best grrrrr,the lonlyness and emptyness and numbness i feel is unreal,never felt a pain like this in my entire life it makes no sense,nothing makes no sense at all,i only get about 2hr sleep a day and that is honest,its just all unreal im very ill but i dont care all i care about is michael,it just wont sink in its all unreal to me :cry: it does actually feel like my heart has broken the pains i have by my heart hurts so much,i have got to have test for that grrrrrrr,i know there r millions of fans that r feeling this way but when it is u going though ur own emontions,i feel competley alone its very werid :-( ;cry: xxx big huggles to everyone xxx
 
Matt_MJ said:
I'm exactly the same.

I just have minimal confidence when it comes to most things in life, my self esteem is at rock bottom and I'll go through phases of just staying at home for days and not doing anything because I'm not happy with the way I look etc.

I sometimes feel like there's a whole different person inside me, but because I've been stuck in the same ways for so long it's hard to change when everyone knows you for something else.

I have lots of friends but none of them truly understand me - and even though we'll hang out and have a laugh a lot of the time I still feel lonely, sad, and helpless.
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Wow, this post is amazing to me, because I could have written it myself. I absolutely know how you feel. I stay inside a lot as well, for the same reasons. I project myself as being a lot happier than I am most of the time, because it's easier than fielding questions. No one really understands me either and it can be very very lonely.

:better:
 
Reghead121 said:
Wow, this post is amazing to me, because I could have written it myself. I absolutely know how you feel. I stay inside a lot as well, for the same reasons. I project myself as being a lot happier than I am most of the time, because it's easier than fielding questions. No one really understands me either and it can be very very lonely.

:better:
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Big big hugs hun i really understand this i am like that to i have been like this for many years its wat i call my fake face to everyone else i am happy and smiling but when its me on my own i am the total oppsit the reason being cause i dont want to make anyone sad or be a burden,i also have a lot of mental health problems which is most why i feel the way i do its all cry :cry: big big hugs xxxx
 
I am actually struggling to make - what I see as - true friends. I only want people who would love me the same way I love them, tell me the truth whether I like it or not, be there for me whether I'm happy or sad...and just generally have a smiling face in my life.

People take for granted their friends, the close and true friends, in my opinion. Because there is nothing more in the world that I would cherish than someone I could have a deep and meaningful friendship with. I want love...nothing erotic, just a close bond that something like kindred spirits would share - that kind of love.

It begins to hurt the most when you realize that you've never had that in your life and you may never will.
 
Always, trust me, always.

I'm always feeling so lonely, it's hard without Michael. I wake up and open my bedroom window thinking that it'll be another lovely day but then I remember that Michael's no longer with us anymore. It's a horrible feeling. Michael's death certainly, without a doubt, changed my personality.
 
Yes, please move this thread to a better location if necessary.

My heart goes out to you all who are feeling badly! I do feel better knowing I am not the only one.

The reason I made this post is because recently it seems my whole family life is crumbling to pieces and being picked up by a whirl wind. I won't go into details but my family is so dysfunctional that it is an abusive environment. I honestly don't know how I deal with it. I guess I don't deal with it, I just try to survive it. I am usually a loner because I have always been different from others because they were happy and I never seem to be able to achieve happiness. I don't have a stable home life to be happy. So I am used to not having close relationships but for a few years now, loneliness has begun creeping in on me. It surprises me when I feel it but it is very strong. I feel deeply bored and lonely. I desperately want someone I can trust enough to share all my bad experiences with, but even more desperately, I want a friend that I can share new happy memories with because I just cannot find it happiness in myself or in life around me. I so badly want a best friend. I had one ten years ago I think and I really want.... a soul mate. Michael's death has made it worse because he is exactly the type of person I want as a friend. I just don't know what to do. My boyfriend can't be my best friend because we are so different and honestly our relationship isn't going so well. It has always seemed like... especially in my childhood, I was locked away in this dark isolation away from the world because my parents were too busy arguing and fighting to share the world with me and I was far too afraid to seek the world myself. I thought that everyone was mad at me all the time because they fought so much. i have a few good friends but I bet they'll come and go like the rest and I won't regret it really because I know that they don't understand me anayway. I just don't know what to do...
 
when you start to get older you feel an increasing need to have a friend or a confidant, someone you can really trust it's absolutely normal to feel that way
everybody wants a best friend but relationships with people are so complicated not everybody is lucky enough to have one so you're not the only person who gets lonely...but usually people are afraid to admit it at least you are brave enough to be honest about it and open that's a good first step
 
Matt_MJ said:
I'm exactly the same.

I just have minimal confidence when it comes to most things in life, my self esteem is at rock bottom and I'll go through phases of just staying at home for days and not doing anything because I'm not happy with the way I look etc.

I sometimes feel like there's a whole different person inside me, but because I've been stuck in the same ways for so long it's hard to change when everyone knows you for something else.

I have lots of friends but none of them truly understand me - and even though we'll hang out and have a laugh a lot of the time I still feel lonely, sad, and helpless.
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Alisans said:
Yeah the same, no confidence at all and definitely don't like the way I look. I'm not saying I think I'm ugly, just not the way I would like to look. I've ditched school so many times just because there have been a presentation infront of the class that I needed to keep etc. And now I need to go the same courses again next year and that just sucks. And all that just because I didn't have the confidence.

I feel like there's someone else inside me too. But I just can't let her live the life she would like to. Like, I really really would love to be open and talkative. Everytime I even try to change myself and have a conversation with someone I just met, they always ask "Why are you so quiet all the time?" and that just doesn't help at all. So I've given up even trying to change the way I am because no matter what I try, I never succeed.
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Wow I could've written these myself.

I'm a loner by nature. I'm not a people person really and I think it comes from my lack of confidence. I'm like Alisans, I don't think I'm ugly but I just don't look the way I want to look. Plus I'm painfully shy so it's hard to make friends, especially since the friends I do have are incredibly outgoing and the life of the party.

I feel even lonelier now that MJ is gone. :no: I still don't think I've even wrapped my mind around that.
 
Alisans said:
I feel like there's someone else inside me too. But I just can't let her live the life she would like to. Like, I really really would love to be open and talkative. Everytime I even try to change myself and have a conversation with someone I just met, they always ask "Why are you so quiet all the time?" and that just doesn't help at all. So I've given up even trying to change the way I am because no matter what I try, I never succeed.
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Alisans,

I could have written these same words myself several years ago. I now feel like I have two separate sides, who quiet/introverted and one open/extroverted, but it just took me a long time to develop the second one. I'm not sure how old you are but you mention school -- I personally felt very stifled by the social organization of school and didn't have many "true" friends until I left home and went to college at 18 years old. While I wouldn't ever recommend changing the way anyone is, I would say don't lose faith that you could let out more of your true/authentic self (ugh, I'm sounding like Oprah!) someday in the future. Occasionally I run into acquaintances from high school and they barely recognize me because I am more "my true self" then every before. So please don't lose hope! School is hard... I always say I wouldn't wish a repetition of high school on my worst enemy! :) Hope you hang in there!
 
HeartbreakHotelMJJ said:
A few days after MJ passed I was in the city walking around on my way to get my lunch. There was a SEA of people and cars and trucks and buses all around me.. literally the streets of midtown were packed FULL OF PEOPLE... and I felt so alone. It was like it just hit me right then, his death, my feelings just everything. I started to cry right in the middle of the street. It's a good thing I had on a pair of sunglasses otherwise folks woulda thought I was crazy.

I've struggled with feelings of loneliness in the past few years and I think that's one of the reasons MJ's death has affected me so much, because in a strange way I understand how he must have felt. Now granted I am NOT MJ and could never feel what he felt on that scale, but just imagining him with so many fans that loved him so much, but the fact that he felt lonely alot of the time is something I think about alot.
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HeartbreakHotelMJJ,

Wow, maybe I was one of those midtown people in a sea passing all around you... except I was sad too, listening to Michael on my iPod and tearing up behind my sunglasses too! I have totally done this while walking to grab lunch or doing errands around the city... I just hear a certain song or think a certain thought and I can't help it.

And you said something revelatory for me -- I think part of the reason his death has hit me so hard as well has been that connection to the loneliness that we all sensed in his life. It's not just the loss of more music or performances... but how this world alienated him and mistreated him. Thank you for saying what you did, as it's helping me work out my feelings.
 
IAte58Crayons said:
Wow I could've written these myself.

I'm a loner by nature. I'm not a people person really and I think it comes from my lack of confidence. I'm like Alisans, I don't think I'm ugly but I just don't look the way I want to look. Plus I'm painfully shy so it's hard to make friends, especially since the friends I do have are incredibly outgoing and the life of the party.

I feel even lonelier now that MJ is gone. :no: I still don't think I've even wrapped my mind around that.
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Yeah, this and the other two posts are just like me, too. I'm a loner, not a people person, don't like how I look. I'm painfully, painfully shy. The only difference is that I don't have any people that I would really call friends. Real-life friends anyway. There is only one person that is a good friend to me, but she lives on the other side of the world and we've never 'met'. On top of that, I also don't know any of my family. My parents moved me 2,000 miles away when I was 3 and we rarely ever go and visit. When we do, they still feel like complete strangers to me.

And yes, I feel even lonelier now that MJ is gone too. :( He was always there, so in a way, he felt like a friend to me. That probably sounds really dumb, but there ya go. I felt like he was my only friend in the world, because I could 'see' him via tv, video, whatever. Much more real feeling than my internet friend(s).
 
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i feel like that all the time , i lock myself in the house most of the time because i feel as if im being watch by someone i also feel like crying for no reason, i have so many issues in my life that its holding me back from doing and going places in my life, just thought id let you know if you ever need to talk Im always bere to listen no matter what its about just pm or something that goes for anyone as Michael would say "Your not alone"
 
do people ever feel sad and lonely? yes. all of us have and do at any point in our lives. its perfectly natural and no youre not the only one feeling like that. a lot of people when they are feeling sad or lonely think they are the only one going through it and feeling that way but many people are feeling the same. its part of the trap because our doubts tell us that we are the only one feeling that way and that nobody else will understand but many people are the same. always feel free to express yourself and to reach out to talk to others because people care and will listen. *hugs*
 
jemini515 said:
Alisans,

I could have written these same words myself several years ago. I now feel like I have two separate sides, who quiet/introverted and one open/extroverted, but it just took me a long time to develop the second one. I'm not sure how old you are but you mention school -- I personally felt very stifled by the social organization of school and didn't have many "true" friends until I left home and went to college at 18 years old. While I wouldn't ever recommend changing the way anyone is, I would say don't lose faith that you could let out more of your true/authentic self (ugh, I'm sounding like Oprah!) someday in the future. Occasionally I run into acquaintances from high school and they barely recognize me because I am more "my true self" then every before. So please don't lose hope! School is hard... I always say I wouldn't wish a repetition of high school on my worst enemy! :) Hope you hang in there!
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Thanks for your reply, made me think.

I wish someday I will be able to develop that another side too. Or, I guess I already have one, but only show it when around my family. But non of them actually know how I'm feeling inside.

I'm currently 18 and moved away from home last year to start in a new school, but I just hated the school so much that I dropped it off and came back home and started another school in here. I wish that after I finish in that school, I'll have enough money to move abroad. That's my dream and I trurly hope that it will be the changing point in my life. To make me more proud about myself and that really would be a big achievement for me.

Ohh, and I must add, now that I think about it, I really don't feel like I'm even shy in some cases. It's just that if I don't have anything "meaningful" to say, why should I say anything?
 
Alisans said:
Thanks for your reply, made me think.

Ohh, and I must add, now that I think about it, I really don't feel like I'm even shy in some cases. It's just that if I don't have anything "meaningful" to say, why should I say anything?
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Thats actually how i think i was brought up, in the manner dont speak unless spoken to but as i got older i tossed away they thoughts and learn to speak your mind after all its a free country so where free to speak our minds.

I ways always scared encase i said something wrong and upset someone so i do say anything.
 
Sparkling9Souls said:
I am actually struggling to make - what I see as - true friends. I only want people who would love me the same way I love them, tell me the truth whether I like it or not, be there for me whether I'm happy or sad...and just generally have a smiling face in my life.

People take for granted their friends, the close and true friends, in my opinion. Because there is nothing more in the world that I would cherish than someone I could have a deep and meaningful friendship with. I want love...nothing erotic, just a close bond that something like kindred spirits would share - that kind of love.

It begins to hurt the most when you realize that you've never had that in your life and you may never will.
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I totally agree with this.
I can't even find 1 true friend and my sister has 3 good friends always around her.
She complains alot about them and then I'm thinking you should be happy their there for you!!
I had some friends at school 10 years ago but since then I can't say I've had any friends at all and like you're saying I'm beginning to think I'll never have that in life.
Like someone else said I'm not going out alone so I'm always at home.
 
I agree too. I want that kinship as well.

Some people seem to be surrounded by friends but I think those people are the most lonely because they are not bonded to their friends. They are only weaved into their friends' lives because of drama and superficiality.

I am searching for a soul mate to bond with. Until then, I am my own best friend, and within my mind I conjure up pretend relationships with people... I do this a lot with Michael lately as I miss him more because since his death it seems I have had new hardships to face and I realized how much I love him and rely on him.

Next year I am living in a suit with 3 other girls, two of which are my friends. I am hoping that I'll create really close relationships with them.

Where any of you really REALLY shy when you were kids? I know I was and it spilled over into my adult life a bit I guess.
 
I guess I was a little shy when I was a kid but kids just make friends easier then adults.
Last year my relationship ended and I was so scared to be alone, I'm doing quiete ok but feel sad most of the time.
When it's getting near the weekend and colleagues ask if I have plans for the weekend I often say no I'll just see what comes up...
 
i've been lonely pretty much all my life ... but there was always mike's music to cheer me up .. now ... his songs make me feel so sad ... i've never been like that ... i usually am the one that cheers everyone up, mike used to cheer me up and everything was ok. i once vowed that the day i won't smile at least once i'll be dead. i guess i died on 25th july ....:( as for loneliness...we born alone, we die alone and between these two moments we only meet people that are shallow, mean and makes us feel more lonely. this is what i believe ... i'm still hoping someone will make me change my mind:(
 
ShadowMaster said:
i've been lonely pretty much all my life ... but there was always mike's music to cheer me up .. now ... his songs make me feel so sad ... i've never been like that ... i usually am the one that cheers everyone up, mike used to cheer me up and everything was ok. i once vowed that the day i won't smile at least once i'll be dead. i guess i died on 25th july ....:( as for loneliness...we born alone, we die alone and between these two moments we only meet people that are shallow, mean and makes us feel more lonely. this is what i believe ... i'm still hoping someone will make me change my mind:(
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"A day without laughter is a day wasted." -Charlie Chaplin

I struggle to smile and laugh every day. Sometimes days and days go by without it.
 
SJK said:
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." -Charlie Chaplin

I struggle to smile and laugh every day. Sometimes days and days go by without it.
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i wish that day didn't even exist... i believe in what charlot said
 
I feel lonely at times because I am on the other side of Brisbane and my family are just everywhere...I'm living with my partner's family. It feels like I do everything for my boyfriend - switch jobs - move town - end up extremely stressed out and sad. I thought I was doing the right thing by quitting my job but I realise I made a mistake. Now I am in a worse position because of it. I just feel now with this new job that everything is so foreign. I don't know where is "home". I want to feel at home again.
 
everyone gets sad and lonely at times. ive met people over the years who claim they dont but i dont believe that. its a human thing to be sad and lonely sometimes. but i also find that it can be a positive thing because when youre sad youre giving into the sadness and allowing it to come out and holding it back often does more harm than good. also in some ways people are lonely or alone but i find theres strength in that too because by being lonely you can look at it as a time to self explore all facets of your life and personality and grow to love yourself and accept yourself more
 
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