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I feel so alone

MJJ Lover xOX

MJJ Lover xOX

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I'm sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong place...

I feel so alone. Everything is awful. I'm so broken inside, I'm not coping with this well at all :( I don't know what to do. Most of my friends are non MJ fans and they don't understand and they think I should be over this by now...:( It's so hard. They want me to go to parties or out clubbing when I just can't. I have NO energy. It's hard enough getting up for work. I just don't know what to do...it's not getting better with time. I feel crap every day. All I want is to turn back the clock and stop this from happening :( Everyone tells me he's happy and at peace now but HOW can he be if he's not with his beatufuil angels - his children?? How can he be TRULY happy without them? They are everything to him!!!! I don't understand!! I don't want to be angry at God - I want to find comfort in God and comfort in the fact that Michael is with God but I can't. I just don't understand why he TOOK MICHAEL AWAY. Maybe I need to stop thinking that he *took* Michael away...I don't know. I'm having sooo much trouble comprehending that Michael is gone...he brought magic into everything and without him..I don't see the magic.
I just want him here :(
 
don't worry. i think mods will just move it to the right section. they'll forgive :)

i understand what you feel. we're all in the same boat. and there might be another person like you, sitting there alone on the side of the globe thinking they're alone. they are not. because there are many of us. and we all care. and we all grieve.

i know how it's hard about going to work. i'm a tutor and i had to teach on the day when he knew the news although the only thing i wanted is just run away. i think doing what we need to do is Michael's way of being a warrior in life. he is a very good example for us.

I dont believe that God took him. he have free will on Earth and freedom. Circumstances led to this death. God only accepted him. from our point of view he might be unhappy now watching his children suffering. but from his perspective which we know nothing about - he might be at peace with it. because now he knows the plan and the truth. so he might just be humble in God and really at peace. we don't know. but we can pray for him. and for his children. and actually Paris showed me an amazing example of courage and strenght. a little girl has the courage to do it - to proclaim her love and respect for her daddy. i applause to him - he taught them not being selfish because the moment she made a step to the mic - she stepped out of being selfish. she did it for him. fighting her pain. i was in awe honestly.

i want him here too. but it's impossible. he stays in his records. and we will also hear his voice again when new tracks will bne released. i know it's nothing compared to the person alive. but there is a beautiful quote i heard somewhere "we cannot bring people to life. we cannot decide on something that is going on around us. we can only decide about what to do with time given to us". And this time is limited. and we need to use it honorably. so Michael is proud of us

hugs
 
I know how you feel, Michel was such a wonderful person and artist so his death is a great loss. It can be hard to understand that there is people none fans who are not so affected by his death and think you should get over it. But how do we get over a thing like this so easenly. We can't, we'll just have to learn to live with the fact that he's gone, accepting this.
I belive there is a place where spirit goes and I also belive spirits can watch over beloved ones from the other side. Maybe Michael is at peace watching his children from the other side. Maybe he can feel our love. I hope he's happy.
And if you listen to his music you can feel his presence, he's not gone, he's just at another place.

Hamelisa
 
Stay together.
Make friends in the forum & talk to people. That's what communities are about.

You are not alone, we are here with you.
John Lucas
 
CatherineNZ said:
don't worry. i think mods will just move it to the right section. they'll forgive :)

i understand what you feel. we're all in the same boat. and there might be another person like you, sitting there alone on the side of the globe thinking they're alone. they are not. because there are many of us. and we all care. and we all grieve.

i know how it's hard about going to work. i'm a tutor and i had to teach on the day when he knew the news although the only thing i wanted is just run away. i think doing what we need to do is Michael's way of being a warrior in life. he is a very good example for us.

I dont believe that God took him. he have free will on Earth and freedom. Circumstances led to this death. God only accepted him. from our point of view he might be unhappy now watching his children suffering. but from his perspective which we know nothing about - he might be at peace with it. because now he knows the plan and the truth. so he might just be humble in God and really at peace. we don't know. but we can pray for him. and for his children. and actually Paris showed me an amazing example of courage and strenght. a little girl has the courage to do it - to proclaim her love and respect for her daddy. i applause to him - he taught them not being selfish because the moment she made a step to the mic - she stepped out of being selfish. she did it for him. fighting her pain. i was in awe honestly.

i want him here too. but it's impossible. he stays in his records. and we will also hear his voice again when new tracks will bne released. i know it's nothing compared to the person alive. but there is a beautiful quote i heard somewhere "we cannot bring people to life. we cannot decide on something that is going on around us. we can only decide about what to do with time given to us". And this time is limited. and we need to use it honorably. so Michael is proud of us

hugs
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That's beautiful. Thank you for posting!
 
Pray and call someone you know that is an mj fan or talk to someone on msn.... we're always here for each other...... we need to now........ if you need to talk to me please add me on msn

and I mean everyone else too
neverland_estate@hotmail.com
 
You're not alone... I'm having a REALLY hard time as well. This week has been a tad easier, but I'm still finding it really hard to find happiness. He truly was the last of the greats. There will never be a kinder, more talented soul on this Earth and the reality of that frightens me. When I hear his music, it just completely lifts my spirits. But when I think about how we'll never see him again or hear a new interview or see a new music video or ANYTHING, I just go straight back to being depressed. His journey wasn't over yet, and THAT is the most frustrating part, I think. I was looking forward to years and years of more time spent with him in our lives.
It's VERY hard. I don't know that I'll ever get over it. Like you, I just can't bring myself to go out with friends. As you said, getting up for work is hard enough.
The ONLY comfort I find is in the fact that I am not alone. That there are millions of others mourning as well and that it is not just me that is suffering. When I think about how we're all in the same boat, it makes me feel better because I know that I have others to go through this with.
Keeping hanging around here & posting - it helps.

Love & hugs to you.
 
Hey mate....I too am still finding it hard to deal with....every day there's tears for him.

Everyone on here is so right...you're not on your own, or even stupid for feeling this way.

The pain probably won't go away, but any time you need reminding how special Michael is (refuse to say WAS!), just visit the forums all over the world. It will help...
 
Michael Forever said:
I feel so alone. Everything is awful. I'm so broken inside, I'm not coping with this well at all :( I don't know what to do. Most of my friends are non MJ fans and they don't understand and they think I should be over this by now:(
Click to expand...

you're not alone....we are all in this too & many of us feel the same. :better: don't bother talking to people about it if they'll only criticize/judge you. they don't understand and probably won't just now. talk here with us....we understand! don't feel pressured to go out if you're not ready, first priority right now is taking care of YOU. on the other hand getting involved with life may help a little if you wallow too long in grief.


Michael Forever said:
Everyone tells me he's happy and at peace now but HOW can he be if he's not with his beatufuil angels - his children?? How can he be TRULY happy without them? They are everything to him!!!! I don't understand!! I don't want to be angry at God - I want to find comfort in God and comfort in the fact that Michael is with God but I can't. I just don't understand why he TOOK MICHAEL AWAY. Maybe I need to stop thinking that he *took* Michael away...I don't know. I'm having sooo much trouble comprehending that Michael is gone...:(
Click to expand...

Yeah this is hard for us to understand from our perspective. I feel he IS with his children. and just like catherine said it is hard for us to see the big picture, which i am sure he and god can see right now. loss of loved ones has been the hardest things i have ever been thru, but looking back on my earlier years, it has also given me the greatest strength, wisdom, and empathy. life's trials and challenges force us to grow and i think that is what michael's children, bless them, are going to do, and i feel sure he is with them totally in spirit.

Michael Forever said:
Michael is gone...he brought magic into everything and without him..I don't see the magic.
:(
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his body is gone but his magic is still here forever. it is inside you and me and everyone who loves him. in time we will get in touch with this magic and express it in our own lives, to touch our loved ones and our planet in incredible ways. michael's magic is one of his many gifts to the world, and we must be sure to cherish it and keep it flowing
 
I think that it is very difficult for his fans to properly grieve and mourn, and then find a way to move on because for many of us we have found no closure. We have only found more distress, in most cases.

Watching the interviews, hearing his cries for privacy and normalcy in his life, knowing he never found it...it is painful. Hearing of his death, seeing his family grieve, wanting to reach out to them and be there for them but knowin you can't...it is painful.

It's a fact that many people never come to terms with a death unless they see the person in the casket, with their own eyes. It begins the healing process. We did not see Michael lying in his casket with our own eyes. We saw his closed, gold plated casket through a television screen (atleast most of us) so it only makes sense that it is so hard for us to find closure and being the healing process.

I had such a difficult time coming to terms with my Uncle's suicide that I went to a therapist. She told me that I should start a 'Jamie Journal' (my Uncle's name was Jamie) and in it I could write him letters, or put in pictures that I would like to share with him, or write about memories that we had. It is a way of grieving, and also a way to feel like they are still with you. Eventually I didn't even feel the need to write in my Jamie Journal any longer, and I was really at peace with his passing. Maybe doing this with Michael would make you feel reconnected and comforted?

The best support is the support of friends and fellow MJ fans, because they understand exactly how you are feeling and what you are going through.

Everyone mourns and grieves in their own unique way, but we are all mourning and grieving the same person, so hopefully you can find some solace somewhere.

I hope that this has helped you in some way =]
 
Yeah, I understand. The world withOUT MJ is so sad. Everything seems hopeless.

We will never get over that pain...he is a big loss for his family and all the people who cared for him. WHO STOOD BY HIM DURING HIS HARD TIMES!

I miss you, Michael.
 
The words of Michael Jackson himself. He meant everything he said, and I'm sure he'd tell you these words himself if he could:

"But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone"
 
I hate it when people say he's happier and in a better place - when you know they wouldn't want to trade places with him hypocrites !
you're not the only one feeling sad...I'm sad every day, when I'm walking down the street, when I'm doing different things, when I'm working, when I'm thinking...all the time I look sad people can see I'm sad
nothing is the same anymore, I know I won't be the same anymore...and I don't like to go out either, I just stay at home I want to be left alone...and if my friends don't help me with anything they can piss off! on this occasion I learned I don't have too many real friends, which is sad...but then again I don't need them
 
strawberrypie999 said:
It's a fact that many people never come to terms with a death unless they see the person in the casket, with their own eyes. It begins the healing process. We did not see Michael lying in his casket with our own eyes. We saw his closed, gold plated casket through a television screen (atleast most of us) so it only makes sense that it is so hard for us to find closure and being the healing process.
Click to expand...

that would've made it worse! :bugeyed nightmares for the rest of my life
I already went to great lengths not to see his last picture, I did see it once by mistake for a brief second but now I'm denial about seeing it. believe me not everybody finds closure by seeing the dead body, on the contrary...I guess we're all different
 
snowhite said:
I hate it when people say he's happier and in a better place - when you know they wouldn't want to trade places with him hypocrites !
you're not the only one feeling sad...I'm sad every day, when I'm walking down the street, when I'm doing different things, when I'm working, when I'm thinking...all the time I look sad people can see I'm sad
nothing is the same anymore, I know I won't be the same anymore...and I don't like to go out either, I just stay at home I want to be left alone...and if my friends don't help me with anything they can piss off! on this occasion I learned I don't have too many real friends, which is sad...but then again I don't need them
Click to expand...
Snowhite, have you tried to put yourself in the shoes of the ones who try to consolate you? I am sure that seeing you so sad makes them feel uncomfortable and the feeling that they can do nothing to ease the pain is really frustrating. They can't imagine what you're going through right now and htey think that by repeating you that he is happy and in a better place will make the situation less bitter. And of course they wouldn't want to trade places with Michael, that's because they won't be in the same place that Michael is!
I just hope it helps...
 
Working in a nursery home for elderlies for years... and lately with my boyfriend... I've been somewhat with many ppl while they passed away.
It's of cuz personal experience only but I do think all of them are really where it is all good.
To me that's not always comfort.
My boyfriend would have never left me. We had a deep very happy relationship.
Also I know Michael would have never left his children.
That's all crystal clear to me... death forced them... and that in itself is so incredible cruel.

However we need to deal with that they are gone. There is no right moment to leave this life for a beloved person... but although I do feel so angry and at the same time so endlessly sad about it I do believe they are at a place where all is good... and my boyfriend and Michael just as much deserve to be without suffering... they do deserve the perfect place.
And I don't want them to be sad cuz they see me and are maybe worried I'll not make it through this pain.
So I'm here cuz I think we are not alone... non of us has to be alone... we are not.
Being here and seeing that ppl around do struggle just as much or even more than I do... and seeing we're not giving up... we're here to be together and willing to go through this... to heal again for that we will be able to do our part in healing the world again... it makes me proud. We're not alone.
Michael lived his life also for us.
 
You're not alone. You will never be alone. This forum to which I'm new to is full of wonderful caring people who understand and who listen. Grief is like a rollercoaster. There will be highs and there will be lows. The lows can seem like forever. And sometimes it feels like you will never be happy again but time can heal even the most broken of hearts. Think how much joy Michael brought you. Everyone has to pass over at some point because our lives are finite but if you keep the love you feel for Michael in your heart than hes not completely gone. He's inside you and will be with you
 
I feel alone somedays. Sometimes it hits me harder than others and those are the worst. I become almost depressed and feel so down in myself and cry a lot. I really hope it gets better. I don't want to forget Michael ever, but I do hope in time I can think about him and listen to his music and smile instead of feeling so sad and crying.
 
YellowButterfly said:
I feel alone somedays. Sometimes it hits me harder than others and those are the worst. I become almost depressed and feel so down in myself and cry a lot. I really hope it gets better. I don't want to forget Michael ever, but I do hope in time I can think about him and listen to his music and smile instead of feeling so sad and crying.
Click to expand...
Pain will go in time... love will stay. Don't worry YellowButterfly, keep the faith! You're not alone! Please know we're here for you if you need to talk.
 
I understand what you feel.The truth is so hard to accept...I know that.Because i same as you.But we should be more stronger, not more cry. I think Michael wants us to it too.
Michael is the legend of the world, and now he was history person. We should support him, respect him and love him forever, and shouldn't believe the mass media anymore.
Michael had given us something;his songs, video were not just only singing about his feeling, he also sending some message to the world though his songs and videos. We should remember these and keep on it. Michael haven't leave us, he's live in our heart and our dream.I hate the god that why so fast to take Michael away, if there haven't one more chance, i hope Michael can live with us...Michael likes the sun in the sky, he brighter us, and let us be more stronger!!! If Michael cry, then there will be raining.
I think all of you want sunny day,not the raining day, right?? Do you know what i mean?? Stay positive, that's Michael want us too.
If you need someone to talk with, you can add me(msn):polingx0322@hotmail.com
you are not alone~same as Michael's song...
All of us will support you!!!

RIP Michael=]
 
You are not alone to feel alone.

In public or with my family I put a mask on myselft, I mean I fake an happy face.

When I'm alone and I think he is dead I'm still crying. So to make it through I try to not thinking about him too often. Sometime I can listen his songs and be ok, and other time like today crying.

I have the terrible feeling that a part of me is dead with him and I never feel so alone. I have the feeling that nobody care about me, my best friend let me down. I don't understand how she could not see how bad and sad i am in reality. I no not know any fans in my aera so I have nobody wh can understand me. But I am not sucidal just very lonely and sad.

I hope that with time this pain will decrease. In waiting I try to convince myselft that now he is in peace and happy and that he did not want his fans to be sad.
 
It is hard. One minute I feel that yeah, *maybe* I can get through this...that everything is *going* to be okayy and then my heart sinks and I remember that he's gone :( and that is just HEART BREAKING. I just found out my "friends" have been saying that I need to get over this...that they've lost people too and didn't act like this. It hasn't even been a MONTH. :( :( I can't believe how people (and people who are meant to by good friends) can be so cold and unfeeling. It hurts...everything just hurts. I've been watching a bit of Michael but it just breaks my heart - my heart feels soo heavy.
I'm sick of plastering on a fake smile. I'm sick of this pain. I'm sick of all of this. I keep expecting to wake up and find that MJ is still here. How can he be gone? What about all my dreams...? Now I'm NEVER going to see him live. I want to cry. I hate that.
 
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