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If I could turn back time -just 20 days...

hesiod

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It keeps being the thought I am day-dreaming about:

Somehow I 'jump' exactly 21 days behind, and I'm there where he is, right at this time, before it all happened and as he probably was beginning not being ok.. And somehow I get him to the hospital or get the doctors there on time, or being on the scene I get to do the single thing (which one I don't know) that would be needed for things to go well instead of the way they did..
Then later that evening, none of the horrible headlines we saw. Instead small threads in gossip columns "Michael again in clinic, stressed ahead of the tour.." etc. But it would all be ok.

I don't know, although I know well it's not real, such thinking seems the only comfort. If I knew it was a natural death, that it was God's call on him, that would be more ok with me. But the thought of something happening which could have been avoided -the 911 call which was made half an hour later, the CPR which was not given properly-, of a mistake (accidental or not) having caused the whole of this, drives me nuts..

there's so much pain at the thought of it..
 
Yeah, I bet many fans are thinking this: what if we could turn back the time...
I'd personally learn how to administer CPR and go back, knock that doctor out and do it myself... :(
 
I feel the same way: I daydream about IF I could go back in time and IF I could speak to Michael or IF only this or that had happened differently... I think it's a natural part of grief. My mum went through this for over a year after her mother suddenly died. She still sometimes says things now. It's all very upsetting and hard to accept.
 
I had the thought this morning, was it only 3 weeks ago that at this time he was alive and well, before Murrey emptied a syringe load of something into him.
 
God, is that all it's been?

He was alive and with us just 21 days ago :(
 
I thought about this too, alot. Like I find myself asking what if? all the time. I got certified in CPR a few months ago. I know that doing CPR on the bed is not the right way to do it. I really wish they had a time machine where we could go back so I could warn Michael about the doctors and save him :cry:
 
I am so glad I'm not alone on this! I have been thinking the same thing.
Take today for instance, I thought back to when I was watching alan carr on the tv show this morning the day before he died. If only I knew what would happen.
I was trying to work out how I would try and get help and who I could call and what would happen.... would people just laugh at me and tell me not to be stupid.
It's the same thoughts like this over and over. Oh I miss you so much Michael
 
i can't read it..
this kills me...

if only i could , if only...
somebody please creat Time Machine...
 
it's the pain of that things are thinking in.

Yet as awfull as this is, we do not know anything for sure.

But we need to be prepared for everything somehow... please try to find comfort in sharing thoughts... and please be also prepared for might never knowing the whole truth.
 
i am going to make a time machine :( i need to!!!!!!!!!

come on scientists hurry up make a tim emachine that works all ready!

:boohoo
we need michael back we can save him
his children need him :boohoo
 
I must admit that I don't relly like pop music, but every time that I always admired Michael Jackson. He was great at singing pop, rock... with one word:EVERYTHING.I remember my mum and me watching one of his perfomances online and I really liked him. He was awesome.From that moment I wanted desperately to see him live, but I was unlucky.The first time I heard he was dead, I said to myself "No, I didn't listen his name. He can't be dead".But, when my mum veryfied it, I burst into tears.I cannot stop crying ever since. Everyday I wish the same thing. I wish I were a witch and reverse the time or being a mortal and use a time machine, so that I would inform him of what would happen.Totally conspiracy. Even I know that you cannot do CPR on the bed. That son of a female dog (I don't wanna be rude, but that's what he is) and the rest of his doctors killed him, just for his money.
 
I cant believe it's been 3 weeks, it seems like yesterday I heard the awful news. I wonder if his poor family are thinking back to almost this exact time 3 weeks ago :(

I feel no better now than I did then. Only yesterday my Mum and I were saying we still cannot believe he isn't here. I love you Michael!!!!!!!!

It was late at night here in the UK when it was announced. For along time to come every Thursday evening I know I'm going to feel the way I do now, almost an overwhelming panic.
 
i've been thinking about it constantly. i just keep thinking what can i do, there has to be some way to bring him back because the world cannot afford to lose such a gift so soon. i was actually going to post a thread today asking if anyone knew any kind of magic or anything that could bring michael back, but then i saw this thread. there are so many things i would sacrifice to have him breathing and walking. there has to be a way, someone please find a way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'll do anything!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
:( ya'll are breaking my heart :cry: ... i have too many what ifs... can't even deal with them all
 
there is nothing any of us or even michael could have done to avoid this.

Micheals destiny was to pass onto the higher realm on june 25th 2009 no matter what.

He is at peace
 
hesiod said:
It keeps being the thought I am day-dreaming about:

Somehow I 'jump' exactly 21 days behind, and I'm there where he is, right at this time, before it all happened and as he probably was beginning not being ok.. And somehow I get him to the hospital or get the doctors there on time, or being on the scene I get to do the single thing (which one I don't know) that would be needed for things to go well instead of the way they did..
Then later that evening, none of the horrible headlines we saw. Instead small threads in gossip columns "Michael again in clinic, stressed ahead of the tour.." etc. But it would all be ok.

I don't know, although I know well it's not real, such thinking seems the only comfort. If I knew it was a natural death, that it was God's call on him, that would be more ok with me. But the thought of something happening which could have been avoided -the 911 call which was made half an hour later, the CPR which was not given properly-, of a mistake (accidental or not) having caused the whole of this, drives me nuts..

there's so much pain at the thought of it..
Click to expand...
oh my goodness. Not only do I day dream on the regular about ME being at the house that day and calling 911 as soon as I found michael. Or scooping him up and driving hiim to the hospital, but I also have become a hollywood writer coming up with ways that michael is still alive, yet didn't fake his death (cuz he would never do that). I have come up with two scenrios and I play them in my head, then I catch myself and tell myself to stop because he's really gone.
 
monique09 said:
i've been thinking about it constantly. i just keep thinking what can i do, there has to be some way to bring him back because the world cannot afford to lose such a gift so soon. i was actually going to post a thread today asking if anyone knew any kind of magic or anything that could bring michael back, but then i saw this thread. there are so many things i would sacrifice to have him breathing and walking. there has to be a way, someone please find a way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'll do anything!!!!!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...
I'm like this as well. I would give up body parts just to have this man back. I would go homeless for a year, anything to have him back. I just don't want to accept that he's permanently forever gone. I keep waiting for a breaking news and some how some way michael is still alive.:doh:
 
I find myself thinking 'If only...' a lot too. :cry:
Wow, 22 days. It feels so much longer... My body feels so weak and old, dying almost, even if I'm only 15... This hurts so much. :(

I also find myself pretending he was still alive, and acting out the excitement I was feeling about the concerts in my head, just so that my heart stops hurting for a moment. I know it's not healthy to do this, and it's probably not a good way to help the mourning, but it's that one moment of love that fills my heart when I think of him, that one moment that lights up my eyes, I live for that. My Michael. :cry:
 
If I could go back in time, I'd go back to where it may have started....1984. I would tell Michael...don't wait for the pyro....just go!
 
Tamou said:
I find myself thinking 'If only...' a lot too. :cry:
Wow, 22 days. It feels so much longer... My body feels so weak and old, dying almost, even if I'm only 15... This hurts so much. :(

I also find myself pretending he was still alive, and acting out the excitement I was feeling about the concerts in my head, just so that my heart stops hurting for a moment. I know it's not healthy to do this, and it's probably not a good way to help the mourning, but it's that one moment of love that fills my heart when I think of him, that one moment that lights up my eyes, I live for that. My Michael. :cry:
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Its starting to feel like a long time too and its only been 3 weeks! Just 3!! I dont want to ever forget what it was like when he was here. God I miss those times so much. I would do anything to have him back :cry: It hurts bad.. Im afraid for the future now..
 
I think some of us are in the stage of "bargaining", it is included in the stages of grief. i.e. "Please God, I'll do this and this but please bring him back."
If only we had a time machine of some kind...
I'd like to think MJ is still alive in a parallel universe, but his soul is in heaven now, so that's not possible (unless you count heaven as a parallel dimension of course...)
 
Maybe one day, the human being has the technology to bring Michael back.
You might have seen artificial intelligence movie and *spoiler* some creatures bring david's 'mother' back with DNA.*spoiler*
Maybe we can reach this technology or maybe we have in the future some kind of device where we can change just one thing in the past, so we actually have the concerts. And we are enjoying Michael's comeback.

Oh my dreams....
s
 
I too find myself constantly inventing stories and scenarios in my head that could have saved him. It was harder during the first week because i seriously felt like i could have made a difference and saved a whole world of grief from us fans!
I think if this kind of thinking soothes your jangled nerves then by all means do it. Imagination is so amazing, i find myself constantly imagining stories and situations incessantly throughout the day.
 
yes i think this too, i think they only way to of stopped it was to have been there the day before and made sure he didnt take anythin and dont let anyone near him.

if i could turn back tiiiime
if i could find a way.....


 
I am feeling the same at the moment. Still today, I keep imagining that if I could just go back to a week before he died, I would GET the money somehow to fly out there, I would stand outside his house everyday until I see him, and somehow I would talk to him and he would believe me. I would tell him to go to the hospital on that following Wednesday, and stay there and don't come out until Friday.. and he would do it :(

I also kept imagining that I was STILL going to his concerts.. crazy I know, but this whole thing is still unbelievable. I was meant to have seen him last night. So depressing. I tried to keep myself busy all day :cry:
 
God I know how you all feel. I have constantly been feeling guilty like I should have done something. Obviously I couldn't have, but I still thin stuff like before he died I was counting down the days til I saw him in concert on the 30th - I even drove work collegues nuts by telling em how many days to go - now I wish I could have cherished each one of those days instead of wishing them to be gone. Each one of those days could have been a day we helped him...saved him. We should have realised he was around the wrong people. My heart is truly broken.
 
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