Some days I manage to smile and I feel so thankful that Michael was in my life and that I was able to learn from him, see him, meet him and most of all experience the amazing genius that Michael was.
But on days like today, I sit and feel completely empty inside. It's like there's a hole in my heart and nothing matters. I watch videos of Michael traveling the world and helping the sick, and the dying. And I realise: DAMN. All he wanted was to spread love, to heal and unite and to be loved in return. He was pure, genuine and unselfish.
I don't like the world now that he's gone. The only times I feel slightly better is when I am surrounded by Michael's fans, because they KNOW. They know how special he was, they understand, and they feel the way I do.
When I am not with fans, to me, every single day I'm doing nothing more than surviving.