My father was not Joseph and we've all live different lifes..My dad has done some horrible things that (to my knowledge) Joe never did and I still find love in my heart for him.. Love within family is not black and white. It's not like friends or even in many cases marriage where it's conditions that if you do this I cut you out and stop caring for you.
It's father, a father that has worked hard for something good while making many mistakes on the way... That is more than many many fathers who abandon there children.
The Jacksons were not the first family nor the last family with "daddy issues" .. We've learned a lot and have broken many bad trends since Josephs generation.. It was not that different back then. I promise you at the time (as strange as It sounds now) people that knew Joseph back in gary thought he was tough but knew he was going to be the one to have his family make it... Not be just another poor lost family in Gary..
In the end of the day we would not have had Michael *****n (as a mega star or personality)... Of course I wouldn't want the scars Michael carried on him! I wish I could change things and change Joe... I can't, but I can find appreciation for the good..
Those words reflect also my sentiments, especially the ending of your message.
I'm sorry to hear about your traumatic experiences. The fact that you were able to forgive your father tells a lot about your strength of character.
All of that notwithstanding, I can see how some people can have a hard time to forgive certain offenses. Trauma has a strange way of sneaking up on you and remind you of things you've thought long passed and overcome. I also know that many fans consider Michael family and his struggles become their own and it doesn't matter if they originated in his childhood or later on in life. However, I think the main point here may be that Michael's relationship with his father may have been much better in later years than people presume based solely on accounts about the distant past.
Interesting what you said about family and marriage and the separation you made between them. I actually think marriage
is the most important part of a family. I know that you mean mainly the parent-child bond which is supposed to be unconditional. I believe any genuine, deep and lasting connection between adults must be a bi-directional one where the give & take process goes both ways. Only children should be afforded unconditional support and acceptance, but then again.........children come in all sizes and ages.
Saying we don't know the private family dynamic doesn't mean we know NOTHING about Joe's relationship with Michael.
True, but what me and the rest of the people are trying to say is that not everything is known either.
Well, I don't think that people should be hypocritical and one day hope Joseph goes to hell and next day when he's sick, wish him well.
I also don't think that just because Michael forgave and more importantly understood his dad, I have to. Michael very well may be a saint. I'm not. He forgave laToya too. I won't ever. But I compartmentalize that and enjoy reading about them together in their old days very much. Finally read her book and it was fun.
About Joseph, I feel like I understand him. My family is the same age as the Jacksons and my parents the exact age and generation of Mr. and Mrs. Jackson. The times were very different and kids punishment very different.
I remember one particular day where my dad went into an absolute rage and took his belt and practically beat my little brother to death. We girls had pillows over our heads screaming and my mother was banging kicking and trying to beat the bedroom door down. All screaming. I'll never forget it. It was horrible.
My brother adores my dad now.
I just feel a soft spot for Joseph because of all he went thru to support that many kids, keep the family together and his brothers family together and get them out of Gary. Especially at the time of violent race riots in cities too close for comfort. I sincerely believe he loved his family. He just did a lot of thighs I don't particularly approve of.
Sorry to hear about your dreadful memories from childhood, really sorry about that. Good to know that your brother gets so well with father now. Goes to show that even the most dramatic of circumstances can be overcome through love and forgiveness.
I'm not necessarily sure Michael was a saint though. He definitely had a lot of strength to endure all that he did, a great ability to forgive most serious mistakes and a very kind soul which he poured out on the world, but surely he must have had his dark moments as well. I simply think of him as a most wonderful and most real human being.
(And Michael's kids don't seem to be afraid of him or angry with LaToya-and Michael was the kind of parent to talk to his kids probably about everything. )Edited to add: just watched the clip of Joseph at the BET awards. I remember at the time he promoted the new record company. But I also think he probably wanted to be anywhere than there, having to talk to press that showed nothing but contempt and hate for a son that suddenly act caring and compassionate.
Note the words "I wish he could see this. If only this had happened while he was alive." I remember him saying that on several occasions. He's already shell shocked and his disgust with the hypocrisy of the press really shows.
I also remember those words well from back in June/July 2009. They did strike me since he uttered them more than once. If only all of that support and appreciation would have taken place while Michael was alive.......
Some may accuse me of seeing life through rose-tainted glasses, but it is comforting for me to believe that Michael and his dad had a much more positive relationship in recent years. Although I don't always manage, I truly and honestly try to see the good in people and also try to forgive 7 times 77, as requested, but I know how difficult that can be. One cannot possibly forgive everything and everyone all of the time. I'm just glad to think Michael made his peace with his dad and I can only wish him well and hope that he recovers fully soon.
I do tend to be naive like that. For as long as I can, I shall try to keep on with that silly attitude :girl_glasses: