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Miss him

*Little Suzie* said:
I just miss him.
Even after 3 years.
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:better: :hug:




You're not the only one. :( I also feel that way and I'll feel like this forever. The years will pass and the feeling is always the same: it seems that happened yesterday..... seems that yesterday was June 25.... :cry:

I believe many fans also should feel that way. And for me, I think most will never have a definitive closure about what happened, about the death of Michael. It was a great loss for us and of course, an even bigger loss for PPB. The pain is endless. The wound is still open, bleeding and will never heal. Now, only memories remained. When the homesickness hit hard, we just look at the videos, interviews, listen his songs, watch his tours/performances, remember the great moments from Michael and a lot of other things... at least so we can alleviate some of the pain and longing (which will always be eternal). :cry: *big sigh*
 
*Little Suzie* said:
I just miss him.
Even after 3 years.

I can only try to meet and talk to him through my dreams and visions.
I really have a deeeeeeeeep connection to him, God, Universe, that no one would ever understand.
It isn't the same without him :(
I just ... miss him.
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Hell yeah... I do say I don't MISS Michael but that means it's cause I MEET him in 'spirit' :angel:eek:therwise I would MISS him TOO MUCH... It's an UNBEARABLE feeling to MISS him :cry:

I understand Hun cause I have that 'deep' connection too... Whenever I meditate Michael is there... I almost squeeze the 'life' out of him and his words are so soothing that it 'grounds' me to get back into this 'forsaken' life...

Did I try to live WITHOUT Michael?
I TRIED but I'm a 'ticking time bomb' :evil: without his 'touch' so that's why the 'meditations' are for me really HEALING...

THANKS for this 'heartfelt' topic, Little suzie :better:
 
"I know the creator will go. But his work survives. That is why to escape death I attempt to bind my soul to my work." -Michelangelo, quoted by Michael Jackson (2007)

Guys, we all miss him, such a great loss.


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Lord I miss him too.. I was watching the Bad 25 BET special last night and burst out in tears.
 
I know what you mean. I am mostly over this 3 years long depression of him. But there will always be certain triggers that will start my crying over him. Like what took place in that southern Californian building on July 7th 2009. That building has remain eternally poison to me. I still can't handle the thought of listening to certain songs of his. Mainly Man In The Mirror. I used to so totally L.O.V.E. that song when we still had him. But ever since that July day of 3 years ago. Knowing that song was played there when they..... I still can't even say it. But I will never be able to listen to that song again because of it. Same goes for his version of Smile. But there is many of MJ songs I have since gone back to listen to again. One of them is Jam. Ever since that June 25th at 6:30 pm when I had gotten the most horrific news ever. I have not been able to listen that song. Since the Jam performance is what the one main channel's national news was showing. When they had showed the years on my tv screen. I will never accept what that evil monster did to him. But because of the fact I have gone back to my Christian faith. Which the sad thing is the only thing good that came out this. Since I was a long time atheist when we still had him. Something I totally regret being. But I had to go back to being a Christian again. If I want to spend my eternity with him. And not with that evil monster that forever took him away from us. I did found great comfort in knowing that Michael is truly with God now. Because of that sign I had gotten from him. On that late afternoon day on September 3rd of 3 years ago. As upset as I was that day. Because of what was about to take place that night in California. I decided to say a little prayer for Michael and his children. And I know I wasn't seeing things when I saw that angel shaped cloud after I had said that prayer. After seeing that cloud I did not shed any more tears that night. And I so totally look forward to the day when I spend my eternity with Michael. That will truly be the most greatest day of my life. Though I still miss him like beyond crazy. Especially whenever I look up at the clouds and wonder what he was doing up there now. It was just a couple of days or so ago. I was laughingly wonder as I look up at the clouds. If Michael and James Brown was doing another concert together. I am laughing now just thinking about it. Because I know Michael is enjoying himself up in Heaven now. And there is no more evil people in his life now.
 
Missing someone you love when they pass is natural, I miss him every day and I will miss him forever but life does go on and Michael would want each and everyone of us to get out there and make the most of the lives we have.

He is always with us in our :heart: for eternity.

Remember... LOVE LIVES FOREVER.
 
It's not until in the past 6 months I've been able to even listen to his music again without crying. For the longest time I've blocked him out, I took his music of my iPod, took his posters down from my walls, I removed every trace of him really because it hurt too much to be reminded of him and that he wasn't here anymore. I still miss him so much that it some times physically aches inside of me. My heart is broken and I think it always be when it comes to him. Fortunately I can sometimes smile now when I see his picture instead of breaking down in tears. I'll always miss him and I'll always hurt by the loss of him, but I try to treasure what he gave me and remember him for who he was when he was alive. I try to block out the fact that he's gone because it hurts too much.

I got my BAD25 deluxe edition box today and I wanna watch the concert, but I'm scared I'm gonna break down and cry instead of enjoying it. I wanna enjoy it and be happy while watching it, I'm just not sure if I can be. It's 99% sure I'll break down during Man In The Mirror because they played that at his memorial service.

I love and miss you so, so much, Michael
 
Even though I know some people don't understand, I really think that it's natural to mourn the loss of someone who meant so much to you, even if they are "celebrities". Sure, we didn't have a personal relationship with them - but they were a big part of our lives, we felt we knew THEM, and in many cases they have inspired us, helped us through hard times etc.

Just the other day when I watched a video of Freddie Mercury, I had tears on my eyes, and that's been 20 years now.
 
Gozer said:
Sure, we didn't have a personal relationship with them - but they were a big part of our lives, we felt we knew THEM, and in many cases they have inspired us, helped us through hard times etc.
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I believe that we, the fans have a "personal" (if I can use this word) relationship with him through his work, for me nothing is more personal than his music because I know he put himself (and more) into it. So yes, I do believe that we have some kind of a relationship, that's why we feel the loss. :cry:
 
zhelva said:
I believe that we, the fans have a "personal" (if I can use this word) relationship with him through his work, for me nothing is more personal than his music because I know he put himself (and more) into it. So yes, I do believe that we have some kind of a relationship, that's why we feel the loss. :cry:
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I do agree with that - but when I say "personal relationship", I am referring to one of the arguments used by people who will ridicule you if you tell them that you are mourning over a celebrity. In my own opinion, you can definitely have a personal relationship with someone through their music :yes:
 
i saw this thread. and i tried to avoid it. and i saw it again. and i tried to avoid it. i saw it again. and i don't know why i didn't avoid it again. for obvious reasons......
 
I miss Michael, as well. I'm feeling blue especially today. Today is the sixteenth anniversary of his the only concert in Poland. He performed at the Bemowo Airport, Warsaw for over 125 thousand people.It was the unforgettable night for me and , I'm sure, all the others. (And now he's gone and there will be no more any concerts:( )
To commemorate that event the Michael Jackson amphitheatre was built at this place.
Michael at Warsaw, September,18-21, 1996
http://warszawa.gazeta.pl/warszawa/5,71286,6759575,Michael_Jackson_w_Polsce.html
 
^I couldn't stand looking at these pictures...
I think I'm gonna keep thinking of him and missing him forever, even if I'm a old lady..
 
*Little Suzie* said:
^I couldn't stand looking at these pictures...
I think I'm gonna keep thinking of him and missing him forever, even if I'm a old lady..
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I don't know if you've lost any other loved ones in your life, but honestly... no, you never stop missing them, but it does get better.

I'm going to tell you a little personal story. My dad was murdered 10 years ago. By a doctor, believe it or not. And I still miss him... I still feel his passing was so unfair, and I've never been able to accept it - it would have been so much easier if it had been something that was out of anyone's control, if nature had taken him... but the fact that someone killed him kind of makes it impossible for me to truly move on.. I imagine that's the same way that many fans feel about MJ.

BUT... with time, I've learned to also remember all the good times, without feeling depressed or sad because they're gone. Yes, sometimes I do feel sad - but more often than not, I can think of my father and smile. It took me a few years, I have to admit... it took me years before I could even look at a photo. But life goes on...

Try to remember one thing that took me a few years to learn after my father died: It's ok to move on... you're not disrespecting anyone... they would have wanted you to be happy again! Just as my father would have hated to see me being stuck in a state of sadness and bitternes, I am sure MJ would feel the same way :better:
 
^ That's sad and unfair.

But I think it will take years before I move on, but I will still think of him, and smile for all the good things he did, I feel very close to him even though I never met him, because I can't meet him in this world, my goal now is to meet the Jackson family, I have seen Janet, but I want to meet them all, it's like they are my second family even though I don't know them and they dont know me.
I always felt like Michael was very close to me and still is, I never had that feeling for a celebrity, only him. It's like he's part of my family, or my very very best friend.. something like that. He's taking me to a amazing world that no one has ever brought me, a fantasy world.. I would feel like that much more if I met him, and if I did I would give him a tight hug and never let go, he makes me comfortable, like he tells me everythings gonna be okay, he's my hero. I really hope I can see him somewhere when I pass away.

It's weird for me to say that to a person who dosen't know I exist.. Because I had a young cousin, grandfather, grandmother, and a uncle who passed away, yet I really didn't felt that sad as I did when Michael passed away.
 
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*Little Suzie* said:
^ That's sad and unfair.
But I think it will take years before I move on, but I will still think of him, and smile for all the good things he did, I feel very close to him even though I never met him, because I can't meet him in this world, my goal now is to meet the Jackson family, I have seen Janet, but I want to meet them all, it's like they are my second family even though I don't know them and they dont know me.
I always felt like Michael was very close to me and still is, I never had that feeling for a celebrity, only him. It's like he's part of my family, or my very very best friend.. something like that. He's taking me to a amazing world that no one has ever brought me, a fantasy world.. I would feel like that much more if I met him, and if I did I would give him a tight hug and never let go, he makes me comfortable, like he tells me everythings gonna be okay, he's my hero. I really hope I can see him somewhere when I pass away.

It's weird for me to say that to a person who dosen't know I exist.. Because I had a young cousin, grandfather, grandmother, and a uncle who passed away, yet I really didn't felt that sad as I did when Michael passed away.
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Well, you feel what you feel... and I know some people won't understand, but they're your true feelings, and you don't have to justify them to yourself... or to anyone else.

In my experience (and I've lost quite a few people over the years), you deal with your losses very differently, not just based on how much you cared for the person, but how you depended on them emotionally, the influence they had on you, or what part they played in your life. I've been through deaths where I was sad but life pretty much stayed the same, and deaths where my world was turned completely upside down. And I cared pretty much just the same for all of them. It's those people that kind of take some of the building bricks of your world with them that it really hurts to lose.

Personally, while I won't claim to be as upset as many fans are, I found some kind of comfort in knowing that there was someone like Michael out there somewhere in this world. It makes me incredibly sad that he's no longer there - and it doesn't matter that I never met him. He was an incredible person, the kind of human being that this world has so very few of. You don't have to be his personal friend to see that :)
 
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*Little Suzie* said:
I just miss him.
Even after 3 years.
I am starting to get the pain back from June 25 2009.
A year after I started to increase my pain, I started to do my stuff, hanging out with friends and family, going school.. etc.
I even slowly started to forgetting him, not becuz I dont like him anymore, but because I just couldn't stand the pain
anymore and wanted to be happy, I still had him in my mind everyday but not so much.
But these days I couldn't focus on other than Michael
I started to hearing all his songs, motown songs, Jackson 5 songs, his solo songs..
I really felt like I was about to cry, I still love him *tears roll downs* I feel sick that I never met him.


I can only try to meet and talk to him through my dreams and visions.
I really have a deeeeeeeeep connection to him, God, Universe, that no one would ever understand.
It isn't the same without him :(
I just ... miss him.
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:huggy: I think we all are going thru some kind of continued grief. And most will, for a long time to come.
I know I am. I lost 2 immediate family members and Michael all in a 6 month span and it was HELL! I couldn't believe it!
The pain is still with me. I didnt think it would be this hard after all this time. But it is.
But I still believe time makes it a little more bearable.
The Creator makes no mistakes. Trust in Him. :)
 
Silouette said:
:huggy: I think we all are going thru some kind of continued grief. And most will, for a long time to come.
I know I am. I lost 2 immediate family members and Michael all in a 6 month span and it was HELL! I couldn't believe it!
The pain is still with me. I didnt think it would be this hard after all this time. But it is.
But I still believe time makes it a little more bearable.
The Creator makes no mistakes. Trust in Him. :)
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I know I still am. 2 months and 22 days before that horrible June date. I had lost my 89 year old grandfather. I was ok with his death. Because of the feeling that I had the night before. That he was going to die on April the 3rd. And I was right about that. Since he died in the early morning hours of that date.


Even though I am mostly over my depression. There are still certain triggers and certain MJ related stuff I still have a very hard time trying to handle. Like last night as I was watching the Dirty Diana performance on my Wembley Concert. I was totally fine watching it. First time watching him since May of 2010. And it felt just so totally great to be watching him again. But unfortunately it was the only performance of that concert I had saw so far. Because I had planned on seeing Billie Jean right after Dirty Diana. But I didn't because of that horrible flash back. It also might have been an axiety attack or something that I was started to get. Because I was suddenly remembering of what had happen to me the last time I had seen a Billie Jean performance. It was back in October of 2009 I decided to watch my Demark HIStory Concert. I was totally fine watching the concert until I had gotten to the Billie Jean performance. Half through that performance I was crying so extremely bad that I had to shut the rest of that concert off. And because of that incident I am just totally afraid of that happening to me again. Especially since those tears just came on so very hard and suddenly for me. And I had no intention of crying over him that night.
 
Expressing your feelings about the whole thing helps a lot of the time with healing and getting better with accepting that dreadful fact.
Keep the faith Love. We're gonna be alright. :)
 
Silouette said:
Expressing your feelings about the whole thing helps a lot of the time with healing and getting better with accepting that dreadful fact.
Keep the faith Love. We're gonna be alright. :)
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I'm trying to. I am only back to feeling like this. Because of that obsession I had yesterday with his song Free. I had totally forgotten just how much I had L.O.V.E. to hear his laughing. And how he had the most greatest laugh in the world. Now as badly as I want to hear those unreleased Bad 25 songs again. I just L.O.V.E. those songs so extremely much. And I still have a couple of those songs playing in my head. I just think it is best that I just tried to avoid them for a day or so. Hopefully tomorrow I will be feeling better enough to listen to them again. And maybe watch another performance from my Wembley Concert.
 
I'm really glad we can still 'express' these feelings of sadness and grief here...
as the 'BIG BAD world... Well, they don't understand us, do they :(

Nowadays, I just tell them I :heart: music, I'm an Author and I have 'on line' friends that give me the strength to go back to the BIG BAD world
Yet, they claim you're all 'imaginary' :scratch:

Then again, I don't mind... You're my Family :wub: I'm BLESSED to be here...

Well, "Celebrity" or NOT... Michael had such a HUGE impression and has such a radiant aura that we are 'connected' to him...
The SUDDEN loss didn't HELP one bit... I woke up crying again today...
Then again, buying BAD25 today put a smile back on my face :cheeky:

Keep the faith, MJ FAM
 
Everybody who actually cared about Michael misses him. I feel the same way. :-(

I cannot believe it has been over 3 years. I occasionally cry when I see performances that move me and hear songs like Will You Be There. But he lives on in spirit and in his music. His love, energy, and everything is here for us to consume. We can listen to incredible songs and watch amazing concerts. This might sound weird, but sometimes I can feel his energy inside me when I'm watching a concert.

But at times in life when I feel overwhelmed and life is just beating me down, listening to MJ, or watching a concert gets my spirits and hopes back up! :)
 
i miss him every day, im trying to avoid watching videos cause they only make me sad. well may be with time, but certainly nothing will ever be the same
at least i could start listening to his music a year ago or so, and the music brings a bit of comfort
...i dont know... it still feels so absurd that he's not here anymore. all my life he was there. and now it's like a big void
 
Oh darling... I am so sorry. I miss him too, I really do. Just a few days ago I sat and cried. I don't talk about Michael alot since his passing because it just hurts me and I always talk about him in the present tense.

Michael, we miss you, babe.
 
Big hugs to all :better:

I miss him too and I guess I will do so for the rest of my life. I watched the Wembley show yesterday and it brought some of the pain back again :( I've been really emotional and missing him like crazy whole this day. I just want him back here with us so bad...

But sometimes when the pain is unbearable it's good to remember that if you miss someone that much, it means that you really loved someone a lot. It means that you are capable to love and feel true, deep feelings. I mean, some people are not able to do so and feel that deep. It kinda proves something about yourself - it proves that you are not afraid to love. Even if it brings you pain, at least you have loved. It's a thing to be proud of. :heart:
 
Indeed, I'm going through a MISSING faze again too... I don't know maybe it's cause I NEED to find a job again and I was working when I felt we were going to lose Michael and the 'stupid' thing of all is... I can't TALK about it 'beyond' this HOME...
I just claim I'm okay :busted: Makes it 'easier' than to explain WHY I'm still MISSING him cause I'm tired of all the 'hurtful' comments...

NEVER thought I would MISS Michael that much... I ONLY wanted him to be HAPPY and SAVE...
 
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