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man.in.the.mirror said:
i feel so bad today.woke up today feeling sick with anxiety,wish my family had compassion and understood,i love my family but my parents are making me feel worse by saying they think the dr did nothing wrong,and they hope he gets off with it,they just say i'm fanatical,i feel numb,feel like my heart has been ripped out,
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I so totally know what you mean in a way. My mother who says she likes Michael but she really doesn't. Defends Dr. Death by doing what he did. Everyone in my family are nothing but a bunch of MJ haters. They don't understand nor do they even care what it has been like for me for the past 2 years. My mother who I can't talk to any more about what it has been like for me. Either doesn't believe a word that I say to her. Or I just making it up when I am not. Plus every single time I try to tell her something about it or she brings it up. It just causes another huge fight between us. I am just so totally alone with this. When we still had Michael I had always turn to him for comfort and to make me feel better. I don't even have that now. Since I can no longer handle watching him. It was May of last year was the last time I had really watch him. And I only listen to him if I really crave to hear his voice. Which sadly isn't very often now.:boohoo: I feel so very sick, tired, and upset right now about what's going on with this trial. That I really don't know how much more I can really take. And I am not even watching the trial. It is something I really can't handle seeing. Especially knowing about those pictures and those recordings. It will absolutely kill me if I ever see and/or hear them.:sad: :cry: :boohoo:
 
I think I can't watch it on t.v anymore for my own mental health. It's emotionally draining and affecting my anxiety levels. I feel like I'm pumped up on high nervous adreiline when watching. I have to stop myself.
 
Hello guys... You're stuck with me here... Heehee... :tease:

Simply, I can't take the stream, the news, the testimonies :boohoo

Hats off for the peeps 'strong' enough to watch and report it though... I feel like a ZOMBIE right now... I've just had a few hours of sleep last night... Kinda 'induced' by Michael music :wub: to ease my heart... It was almost jumping out of me... YIKES...

So to everyone here... *** HUGS*** and Keep your head up...
 
Hi guys! Sending some love to all of you...

Wow I haven't been online here for months... And somehow I missed the first two days of the trial and then I was looking for info on the web and accidentally saw the pic... :( So heartbreaking. My heart beats so fast and I'm not sure if I can sleep...
 
hugs to you all,it makes my anxiety worse but i have been watching the trial on tv from start to finish,i feel like i owe it to michael in some way,it kills me to listen to the testomonies,but i want some sort of closure from this,
anyone here need to talk pm me if you like,we'll try get each other through this.mjsbollywoodgirl i understand,when michael first left us i couldn't bare to listen or watch him,but now i feel the oppisite,i watch and listen to him all the time,this makes me feel comfort,like he's still with us,
do you understand what i mean?
 
It really is tough but I also feel like I owe it to Michael to tough it out and watch, hope and pray for justice to be served. Hugs to all who need them. x
 
Hi guys I havent been here for along time due to things not being good,beccabubbles told me about this room on here now.Its now the 2nd week of the trial and i must say last week was horrfic with the photos and audio and things that was being said in detail :cry: ,for me in my head its like 5% i know what has happen but then 95% i am in totally deniel to what happen in 2009 to now with the trials :no:,i cant breath and i just cry,my heart is totally broken,shatterd and numb,I do have serve mental health and physcall health problems, michael was the only thing that made me happy and made me felt loved.I used to be a happy michael fan,his music use to make me smile, only michael could do that, since that time i havent been able to listen to his music,watch his dvds or even read his books,i have the opus that hasnt even been open yet,its still all sealed just as the cds and book and blu rays,even when he comes on tv or radio i have to turn it off straight away,i did force myself once to listen to a song and i just broke down and was on the floor huddle up, i feel like such a bad and unhappy fan ,but my love for michael is so strong and that is eternal and always will be,its hard to exsplain really and most people just tell me to get on with it hence why i havent been on here properly for a while :(. The trial i really dont want to be watching it but i feel i have to as i feel i have been such a bad fan of michaels so this i have to do......i am sat here right now in tears,this is truely so hard i hope its ok to post in here and talk about how im feeling,as i truely dont have anyone apart from beccabubbles,i am just so lost and heartshattered and time doesnt heal it just makes things worse but then i still believe 95% michael is with his children at home.....i am truely truely lost...... :cry: if michael had never done another concert again i would of still loved him and been a fan of his i been a fan for 31 years sending specail hugs to everyone and thank you xoxo
 
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Keep your head up dear Michaelloverforever :better:
WOW 31 years already... beats me with my 29 years of :heart: the ONE and ONLY KING of POP :wub:
 
Hi,

Good ideal, pls try to keep posting. I like this topic very much and I will digged this one. Tks again.
 
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