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Prayers For Maria João Silva Mother ..... Send Her Family A Major L.O.V.E Hug <3 March 20th, 2012

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Lovely Family,

Please excuse my behaviour,and the lack of news for so long,but as said here by Asthanga,i had to disapear,and i am very sorry if i made anyone worried.Things were getting too much to handle alone and i ended up loosing myself,and having to take some days away to rest a little.
Basically what happened was that i found out that my mom was not eating enough,nor drinking,and i just went into a fight with the hospital she is in,along with my sick father,and it took till the 29th August,(what a coincidence),till we were able to have our time with the hospital administration to hear us and analyse our case.

Of course that if i was speding lot of time with my mom,once i discovered this,i started to be there even longer,and i guess that what happened was that i forgot i am human too,so one time here at home after dinner,i fight starts between me,my brother and father,and i completly lost control of me,and threatned to kill myself squeezing my neck as if i wianted to die suffocated.
At that point,my dad and brother are looking at me completly pale,and in shock i think,and that's when things turn around a little,as i was forced to have some "holidays" to rest.

In a way it was good to be away for a week,but mentally i didn't rest much as i was thinking of my mom all the time,calling the hospital more than one time during the day to know how she was,and also talking to my mom through a friend that went the entire week to the hospital,so that my mom could hear my voice and realise that i didn't leave her,or forget her,i was only away for a few days.

In the meantime my dad tells me that the blood test he made,has great news,but i am very much in doubt of it,because out or nothing,(or not?),he starts talking about making a will before he dies,and i am just complety confused and not knowing what to think about all this at all.
So right now things are kinda weird for me to understand them,although my mom's situation is being analysed,and from what i have been seing,she is now eating and drinking better.

Thank you all so much,from the bottom of my heart,for allthe love and prayers.I do feel them,and i ruly think that if it wasn't all of you,my lovely MJ family,i wouldn't have been able to keep on moving as i am.
Please know that all of you are in my heart,and prayers,and i thank God everyday for having you in my life.
This Place is my more my home,than my real home,and Michael truly is an Angel that still goes on doing wonderful things everyday,and i just wish people could see and live what i live,because life would for sure be a little bit easier.

God Bless you my MJ family.HUGS
Thank you My love and Angel Michael!
 
Mariajoaosilva;3906357 said:
Lovely Family,

Please excuse my behaviour,and the lack of news for so long,but as said here by Asthanga,i had to disapear,and i am very sorry if i made anyone worried.Things were getting too much to handle alone and i ended up loosing myself,and having to take some days away to rest a little.
Basically what happened was that i found out that my mom was not eating enough,nor drinking,and i just went into a fight with the hospital she is in,along with my sick father,and it took till the 29th August,(what a coincidence),till we were able to have our time with the hospital administration to hear us and analyse our case.

Of course that if i was speding lot of time with my mom,once i discovered this,i started to be there even longer,and i guess that what happened was that i forgot i am human too,so one time here at home after dinner,i fight starts between me,my brother and father,and i completly lost control of me,and threatned to kill myself squeezing my neck as if i wianted to die suffocated.
At that point,my dad and brother are looking at me completly pale,and in shock i think,and that's when things turn around a little,as i was forced to have some "holidays" to rest.

In a way it was good to be away for a week,but mentally i didn't rest much as i was thinking of my mom all the time,calling the hospital more than one time during the day to know how she was,and also talking to my mom through a friend that went the entire week to the hospital,so that my mom could hear my voice and realise that i didn't leave her,or forget her,i was only away for a few days.

In the meantime my dad tells me that the blood test he made,has great news,but i am very much in doubt of it,because out or nothing,(or not?),he starts talking about making a will before he dies,and i am just complety confused and not knowing what to think about all this at all.
So right now things are kinda weird for me to understand them,although my mom's situation is being analysed,and from what i have been seing,she is now eating and drinking better.

Thank you all so much,from the bottom of my heart,for allthe love and prayers.I do feel them,and i ruly think that if it wasn't all of you,my lovely MJ family,i wouldn't have been able to keep on moving as i am.
Please know that all of you are in my heart,and prayers,and i thank God everyday for having you in my life.
This Place is my more my home,than my real home,and Michael truly is an Angel that still goes on doing wonderful things everyday,and i just wish people could see and live what i live,because life would for sure be a little bit easier.

God Bless you my MJ family.HUGS
Thank you My love and Angel Michael!
Click to expand...

:(



You continues going through so much. I wish that God will continue giving strength to move on. Be assured that I and everyone else here on the forum will continue praying for you, your mom and your entire family. :pray: :heart:
 
My lovely family....

Again excuse me for the lack of news,but lately things seemed to be kinda getting "better"if we can so say.

Yet,2 days ago,on the 12th of november,at around 6.30am,my mom died in a very unexpected way,as she was no longer with fever,and her breathing problems,seemed to be improving.Just this past sunday,i spent almost all aftenoon with her,and she was cooperating a lot,and same last monday.
i just regret not having spent more time with her,and only having said "be right back ",and when i didn't return.I was the past week without voice due to throat problems,so last monday i was not more than 5 minutes away with her.
I tried to wake her up so bad...she always reacted to my voice so much...i was the one that dressed her with her favourite clothes,and did seem so peaceful,but the pain i am feeling is completly unberable,and i just don't know how to deal with all this,as my word eneded completly.
In my moms name,Elisa,i want to thank all of you,for all the love,all the patience,all the support and prayers,and say that mom loved and all of you for all the love you always gave to me.As she always said "those that love my baby,love me as well,and i love them a lot! God Bless you all.
 
Mariajoaosilva;3929804 said:
My lovely family....

Again excuse me for the lack of news,but lately things seemed to be kinda getting "better"if we can so say.

Yet,2 days ago,on the 12th of november,at around 6.30am,my mom died in a very unexpected way,as she was no longer with fever,and her breathing problems,seemed to be improving.Just this past sunday,i spent almost all aftenoon with her,and she was cooperating a lot,and same last monday.
i just regret not having spent more time with her,and only having said "be right back ",and when i didn't return.I was the past week without voice due to throat problems,so last monday i was not more than 5 minutes away with her.
I tried to wake her up so bad...she always reacted to my voice so much...i was the one that dressed her with her favourite clothes,and did seem so peaceful,but the pain i am feeling is completly unberable,and i just don't know how to deal with all this,as my word eneded completly.
In my moms name,Elisa,i want to thank all of you,for all the love,all the patience,all the support and prayers,and say that mom loved and all of you for all the love you always gave to me.As she always said "those that love my baby,love me as well,and i love them a lot! God Bless you all.
Click to expand...

:no: :cry:


Hey > :better:
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:give_heart:




At this time it is difficult to find the right words at this moment to try comfort the pain of losing someone we love :( .... What I can say is that now your mother is no longer suffering and living in a hospital. She is at peace and believe me, she is much better :angel: than we who are in this cruel world full of things/bad people. Be strong and always pray for her. :pray: Wherever she is she will be with you. :heart:
 
HUGS to you Maria :better:

The good Lord finally called her HOME :angel:

I know that 'words' are not really 'valid' right now. Been there done that!

I will only say is that I'm so PROUD of you that you took such care over your mum and you stood up for her even when you were losing it. I'm sure, she passed on with a content heart knowing she did the right thing.

You should NEVER excuse yourself for your absence nor your feelings. As you say, this is your HOME. It's mine too. It's where we can HEAL.

PLEASE, don't let anyone 'push' you into 'getting over it' quickly and 'move on'. It doesn't heal, it only show disrespect in my opinion :blush: I know they mean well though.

You see, words are NOT enough or even 'cruel' to speak here. Just know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I do so feel your pain.

If you wanna talk, I'm always here for you.

The ONLY thing that does HEAL is keep your mum 'treasured' in your heart and mind. She'll always be with you even now during hard times. Remember that L.O.V.E lives FOREVER!

:friends: Daryll.
 
Thank you all for the love,the support and the prayers.
Mom did go quickly and peacefully.She left with a peaceful look,and even though i know it was the best for her,i just can't find any meaning to go on living,as i do feel that my mission ended with her.
The pain i have been feeling in my heart,is something so unberable,that i don't know how long i can handle this.
 
Mariajoaosilva;3930853 said:
Thank you all for the love,the support and the prayers.
Mom did go quickly and peacefully.She left with a peaceful look,and even though i know it was the best for her,i just can't find any meaning to go on living,as i do feel that my mission ended with her.
The pain i have been feeling in my heart,is something so unberable,that i don't know how long i can handle this.
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:cry:



We are with you > :better:
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:give_heart: :angel:
 
I´m sorry for your loss Maria.
I think your mother always knew that you did the best you could for her and was proud to have such a nice daughter.
 
Maria, I'm so so sorry to hear of your loss :better: Please don't think your mission has ended with the passing of your beloved mother. Unfortunately, it is something we must all go through as the order of things nature intended - so I hope you don't feel alone. You were the best daughter, and take comfort in the fact you did everything possible and made many sacrifices for her. Not many elderly parents in this world have the same fortune, and you will be rewarded greatly for everything you did for her. Cherish the memories, don't doubt yourself or think this is the end of the road. If you need someone to talk to, please feel free to PM me. LOVE.
 
I know i did a lot for my mom...but why is that not helping me at all?
I'm making sure that her last wishes are done,and tomorrow will be the 7th day mass.
I don't know how i feel,i can't think,i want to sleep...sleep for like a month,to see if this pain goes away...
I never thought it would hurt like this...
 
I'm so sorry about your loss, Maria. My heartfelt condolences to you and your loved ones. Stay strong!
 
SoCav;3931153 said:
I'm so sorry about your loss, Maria. My heartfelt condolences to you and your loved ones. Stay strong!
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How do i do that?How can i stay strong?part of me died with my mom last tuesday
 
Maria, I can't tell you how to do it,but I can be here and I love you as you are apart of me as Michael said I love you... we at MJJC love you. I wrap my arms around you and hug :huggy: you. God Bless Sweety.
I send you all you need to carry onwards & to smile.
Much L.O.V.E. :heart: :wub:
souldreamer7
 
souldreamer7;3931830 said:
Maria, I can't tell you how to do it,but I can be here and I love you as you are apart of me as Michael said I love you... we at MJJC love you. I wrap my arms around you and hug :huggy: you. God Bless Sweety.
I send you all you need to carry onwards & to smile.
Much L.O.V.E. :heart: :wub:
souldreamer7
Click to expand...

wow...thank you so much...I do love you and everybody in MJJC so much!!!MJJC is my home,and all of you are my family...my MJ familly.~Tight hugs
 
Maria, words cannot express the sorrow I feel for you with the passing of your Mom.
The loss of a loved one, especially Mom, must be extremely difficult. In time, the hurt and pain
of your loss will lessen. There will be days when the memories will make you happy and will also
make you sad. But these feelings, as I hope you know, is what helps with the healing and will keep
her forever in your heart.

:huggy:
 
Mariajoaosilva;3931828 said:
How do i do that?How can i stay strong?part of me died with my mom last tuesday
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There is NO 'real' rule to how to you heal! It takes time and the only thing you can do is listen to your body. Don't ignore what it tells you. PLEASE don't give up!

What you experience is the 'infamous' black hole that sucks all the life out of you. It's something ONLY You can crawl out of. The ONLY thing we can do is give you :love:

I can only talk out of own experience. I know losing your MUM is way different than losing MICHAEL but I do feel like a part of me died too and I had to start living the 'new life' again. Some compare it with riding a bicycle with the 'training wheels' taken off. It's a bumpy road but in the end you'll be PROUD how strong you really are.
The thing that 'saved' me from this hell was the support I got from my dear friends here :wub: and the fact that you 'discover' that you have a talent that 'distracts' you and keeps you from being 'eaten alive' by that awful monster called GRIEF.

All my :heart: to you, Maria :friends:
 
condolence-quotes-7.jpg


[youtube]JvITqMZm-Dk[/youtube]

"Someone In The Dark"

All alone wishing on stars
Waiting for you to find me
One sweet night I knew I would see
A stranger who'd be my friend

When someone in the dark reaches out to you
And touches off a spark that comes shining through
It tells you never be afraid
Then somewhere in your heart you can feel the glow
A light to keep you warm when the night winds blow
Like it was written in the stars I knew
My friend, my someone in the dark was you

Promise me we'll always be
Walking the world together
Hand in hand where dreams never end
My star secret friend and me

When someone in the dark reaches out to you
And touches off a spark that comes shining through
It tells you never be afraid
Then somewhere in your heart you can feel the glow
A light to keep you warm when the night winds blow
Look for the rainbow in the sky
I believe you and I
Could never really say goodbye
Wherever you may be
I'll look up and see
Someone in the dark for me
Wherever you may be
I'll look up and see
Someone in the dark for me

Though you're gone star far away
Each time I see a rainbow
I'll remember being with you
Smiles coming through my tears

When someone in the dark reaches out for you
And touches off a spark that comes shining through
It tells you never be afraid
Then somewhere in your heart you can feel the glow
A light to keep you warm when the night winds blow
Look for the rainbow in the sky
I believe you and I
Could never really say goodbye
Wherever you may be
I'll look up and see
Someone in the dark for me
Wherever you may be
I'll look up and see
Someone in the dark for me!

:cry: :pray: We truly never ever have to say good bye, because we shall see them again :pray: :cry:​



Mariajoaosilva;3929804 said:
My lovely family....

Again excuse me for the lack of news,but lately things seemed to be kinda getting "better"if we can so say.

Yet,2 days ago,on the 12th of november,at around 6.30am,my mom died in a very unexpected way,as she was no longer with fever,and her breathing problems,seemed to be improving.Just this past sunday,i spent almost all aftenoon with her,and she was cooperating a lot,and same last monday.
i just regret not having spent more time with her,and only having said "be right back ",and when i didn't return.I was the past week without voice due to throat problems,so last monday i was not more than 5 minutes away with her.
I tried to wake her up so bad...she always reacted to my voice so much...i was the one that dressed her with her favourite clothes,and did seem so peaceful,but the pain i am feeling is completly unberable,and i just don't know how to deal with all this,as my word eneded completly.
In my moms name,Elisa,i want to thank all of you,for all the love,all the patience,all the support and prayers,and say that mom loved and all of you for all the love you always gave to me.As she always said "those that love my baby,love me as well,and i love them a lot! God Bless you all.
Click to expand...
 
Sillouette...Ever had the feeling that everything you thought you knew,in the end means nothing?That is exactly how i feel right now...a complete nothing...a burden that my family has to put up with,just because.

Daryll,i used to think i was strong once..the first time my world collapsed,was in 1999 with the death of my granny that helped my mom raising me.I did hurt a lot,and even today,after 14 years,i still miss her very much.But i had my mom with me,we helped and supported eachother,as we always did,so with time the pain became barable,and it reached a point where it makes me miss her,but the feeling dosen't cause any pain,or at least unberable pain.
When Michael died,my world fell apart...it took me months to realise what really had happen,and although i did cry for him,to me i think i will only be able to say my goodbyes to him,when and if i get the chancce to go to Forest Lawn.The pain i felt,the pain i feel,is a deep pain that causes a lot of sadness,but again,i had my mom with me,and we supported eachother as we always did.
With my Mom dying,its a very different story.I always thought it wold be very painfull,but i never imagined it could be so phisically scaring.I don't know how its called what i have...i'm being watched by my family doctor day and day off.From what she can say for now,she thinks i am having panic attacks,but there's not enough time yet,to have any conclusions,so i'lll go on going to her.The agony,the emptiness,the pain is so unbearable,that i fear myself a lot at times.
I have no idea when,or how i will recover,but the fact that my family keeps pressuring me since day one that mom died,is not helping at all,and even if i try to say that i can't think or feel as they think i should by now,because it's now more than 8 days that mom died(a big thing),they keep on doing it,and one day they will win this fight driving me completly crazy,or making me feel in such despair,that i end up going to my mom sooner than everybody expects.

Thinkerbell,i so much love that song...and the softness in our angels voice...thank you so much for the lovely poem,the amazing song,and wonderful constant support.

Love you all so much!
 
Maria I've been away from the board with similar feelings you've been having and only just readying the update now :( My dad passed away in 2011 just before christmas and I've been having trouble lately with flashbacks to the night me and my mum found him. You are always in my thoughts and you can ALWAYS contact me just to talk. Don't be afraid I will read anything you write :yes:

I'm am so sorry for your loss and can only give you my warmest and heartfelt condolences :(

L.O.V.E.
 
Thank you Thrillerchild...please know i am here for you as well,ok?

This e weeks,have been a complete hell...the pain,the emptiness,keeps growing,and all the things people told me i would feel,i don't feel at all.

I'm not in peace,i don't feel or hear my mom,and i have no idea for how long i will handle being in this world with my mom.My mom was my life,and this world is just too cruel.I really really am so tired!....
 
I know, I look strong but I'm not. It's a thin layer that protects the wound. :blush:

People mean well, I know they do but 'grieving a lost one' is really a lonely and dark journey who you think will never end but when the darkness clears up, you know.

It's easy for me now to say it but it really changed me.
For the better? I don't know! It did make me more resilient though where others fret over silly stuff, I tell them not to sweat it cause there are far more worst things than an exam they forgot to study for!

Indeed, all the 'meant well' advice is NOT helping I know. Been there done that as we say!

Just know that even though you think you're alone in this, you aren't cause we feel your pain and we can only try to lift you up by listening and just being there for you.

Please hang on :friends:
 
Maria,

os mues sentimentos pela tua perda. Sei bem o que e perder uma mae. Perdi a minha com 13 anos. Força... nao desistas... e a tua mae nao vai estar descansada se estiveres assim angustiada.
Ela esta a olhar por ti.

Beijinho grande
 
Dear Maria,

I don't know you but I wanted to express my deepest sympathy to you and your family. Just know that I send you a lot of love and strength from the bottom of my heart.

There isn't much I can say to make you feel any better. This is a difficult/bitter period you're in, in which you need to process your loss and deal with the way you life has changed. You and your family are in my prayers and if there is anything... feel free to ask.

Danny.
 
~I'm Sending Prayers to you, Maria :heart:
I Love You More, I mean that. I replied back to your last PM, okay?
Big Hugs! :huggy:


<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/rrmF0joul5s?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>​

*HEAVEN IS HERE*

*You and I were never separate
*It&#8217;s just an illusion
*Wrought by the magical lens of
Perception

*There is only one Wholeness
*Only one Mind
*We are like ripples
*In the vast Ocean of Consciousness

*Come, let us dance
*The Dance of Creation
*Let us celebrate
*The Joy of Life

*The birds, the bees
*The infinite galaxies
*Rivers, Mountains
*Clouds and Valleys
*Are all a pulsating pattern
*Living, breathing
*Alive with cosmic energy

*Full of Life, of Joy
*This Universe of Mine
*Don&#8217;t be afraid

*To know who you are
*You are much more
*Than you ever imagined

*You are the Sun
*You are the Moon
*You are the wildflower in bloom
*You are the Life-throb
*That pulsates, dances
*From a speck of dust
*To the most distant star

*And you and I
*Were never separate
*It&#8217;s just an illusion
*Wrought by the magical lens of
Perception...

*Let us celebrate
*The Joy of Life
*Let us dance
*The Dance of Creation

*Curving back within ourselves
*We createAgain and again
*Endless cycles come and go
*We rejoice
*In the infinitude of Time

*There never was a time
*When I was not
*Or you were not
*There never will be a time
*When we will cease to be

*Infinite ~ Unbounded
*In the Ocean of Consciousness
*We are like ripples
*In the Sea of Bliss

*You and I were never separate
*It&#8217;s just an illusion
*Wrought by the magical lens of
Perception...

*Heaven is Here
*Right now is the momentof Eternity
*Don&#8217;t fool yourself
*Reclaim your Bliss
*Once you were lost
*But now you&#8217;re home
*In a nonlocal Universe
*There is nowhere to go
*From Here to HereIs the Unbounded
*Ocean of Consciousness
*We are like ripples
*In the Sea of Bliss

*Come, let us dance
*The Dance of Creation
*Let us celebrate
*The Joy of Life

*And
*You and I were never separate
*It&#8217;s just an illusion
*Wrought by the magical lens of
Perception...

*Heaven is Here
*Right now, this moment of Eternity
*Don&#8217;t fool yourself
*Reclaim your Bliss

​
​
​
​
​
 
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Thank you so much Daryll,Dany and Souldreamer7..If it wasn't this MJ family,i would be more lost tthan i am.
Thank you ALL,for the prayers,love and support.It means a lot more than words can say.

Moonwalker...Muito obrigada pelo teu apoio.Não consigo imaginar como será ter perdido a mãe aos 13...acho que me matava logo a seguir.
Sabes,fiz tudo por tudo pela minha mãe,e mesmo assim sinto que não foi suficiente.A minha mãe era só a pessoa que mais amava nesta vida.Por ela abdiquei de muita coisa,(e não estou arrependida),e agora so nao sei lidar com o crescente vazio,dor e agonia.
 
How are you Maria?
I thought about you when I saw some videos on youtube,
If you resembles what grief does to one with a horse..you can see Tiger-who actually is a horse.
He´s weak and tired, needs great support and care from several people

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Q3RB0t9J1w4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

After support and care for 7 weeks
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/WDLPdzaGd-w" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

After he got support and care, he looks healthy but might have some health problem after the starvation .

With that I want to say it might feel terrible now but with time and support from family and friends it will better although it can take a long time.
I'm not saying that the grief will disappear, but it becomes easier to deal with it over time
 
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