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What are you doing this very second?

8701girl said:
going crazy wish things were bck to how they used to
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You were probably thinking of something else. But for me I had wish that for over 10 years. If everything was back to the way it was. I will not be suffering from depression. I won't be relying on video/ computer/mobile games as my anti depressants. And I still will be one of the most biggest MJ fans in the world. As well as still having my bedroom walls and doors still cover in pictures and posters of him. Now all of my gorgeous MJ posters. That I used to love so much. Are now down in the basement collecting dust. The same goes for every single one of my MJ concerts. Or anything else that I either bought or taped related to him. Never to be touch by me ever again. I can't tell you just how badly I still miss watching and listening to him. I still can't even look at my MJ collection that I used to love so much. Without wanting to cry a million tears.



Right now I am just relaxing in my bed. Just trying to stay warm. While I listen to some you tube creepypasta stories. As I work on my gypsy witch caravan lot. In my Sims 4 game.
 
MJsBollywoodGirl7 said:
You were probably thinking of something else. But for me I had wish that for over 10 years. If everything was back to the way it was. I will not be suffering from depression. I won't be relying on video/ computer/mobile games as my anti depressants. And I still will be one of the most biggest MJ fans in the world. As well as still having my bedroom walls and doors still cover in pictures and posters of him. Now all of my gorgeous MJ posters. That I used to love so much. Are now down in the basement collecting dust. The same goes for every single one of my MJ concerts. Or anything else that I either bought or taped related to him. Never to be touch by me ever again. I can't tell you just how badly I still miss watching and listening to him. I still can't even look at my MJ collection that I used to love so much. Without wanting to cry a million tears.



Right now I am just relaxing in my bed. Just trying to stay warm. While I listen to some you tube creepypasta stories. As I work on my gypsy witch caravan lot. In my Sims 4 game.
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I'll 2nd u on that one, I have MJ as a screen saver on my phone and everytime I unlock it I feel a lump in my throat, I want him in my phone so he's always with me but I don't if that makes any sense, it hurts so much and I don't think it will ever get any easier. I love being able to share my pain with other fans, sort of makes me feel a bit better
 
Alh21 said:
I'll 2nd u on that one, I have MJ as a screen saver on my phone and everytime I unlock it I feel a lump in my throat, I want him in my phone so he's always with me but I don't if that makes any sense, it hurts so much and I don't think it will ever get any easier. I love being able to share my pain with other fans, sort of makes me feel a bit better
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I knew I wasn't the only one still. But with me on both my Windows 10 and Windows 8 laptops I still have MJ as my background. It is the picture of him from the cover of the Stranger In Moscow single. I have kept that as my background on those 2 laptops for years. And despite my depression over him. As well as my anxiety and panic attacks I suffer with now. Especially when it comes to seeing or hearing anything or anyone related to him in some way. Which is why I don't watch tv as much as I used to. I still can't bare the thought of changing that background. As well as what I wear when I am at home. At home I always wear a black MJ t-shirt along with a couple of silver MJ necklaces. It used to be 3 but the MJ pendant that was on a black silk cord. The knot kept coming undone. Even though I had it triple knotted. So I decided to just keep it off. And ever since what happen to him. The other 2 MJ necklaces I have kept them permanently around my neck. I almost never take them off. Unless I have to do a really good cleaning on both the chains. And my one MJ pendant which is that of his glove is real sterling silver. So they do get tarnish. But I put them right back on my neck. My other pendant which is the HIStory Era MJ symbol is not real silver. It is just silver plated that has rust on the edges of it. I have thought about replacing it. But then I started to really like how it looks now. And besides going on sites like Ebay to look at MJ related stuff to buy. I still find it quite painful to do that. Back when we still had him it was different. I always looking at MJ related stuff on Ebay. It is probably how I ended up spending over 200 dollars alone on my MJ concerts that I have. Now sadly just like the rest of my MJ related stuff is now collecting dust. And it still makes me really sick and angry when I think about it. As well as that ahole that totally destroyed the h word life that I once had.:(



Right now I am just relaxing in my nice warm bed. Listening to it raining outside. As I drink some green ice tea out of my cat tumbler. And play my Dragon Quest Builders 2 game on my Nintendo Switch.
 
NatureCriminal7896 said:
that isn't healthy. have you tried therapy or try to get on medication? not trying sound rude or anything.
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Yeah I have tried therapy. But it really didn't help much. And what medication? My mother nor my step father won't allowed me to take anti depressants. Nor do they refused to believe that I need them. Which is why I have video games. There the closest thing that I have to anti depressants. As well as hearing about the latest Nintendo games or Sims packs that I might be interested in. Of course I can't get my mother and step father to understand that. I keep telling them what else do I have to look forward to? Since there is nothing to look forward to as an MJ fan. All those unreleased songs that Michael recorded. According to that book that I have. At my age I know I am never going to get to hear them. Which is one of the reasons why I am still suffering from depression. Well that knowing that murdering ahole is out there somewhere walking free. And not in prison where monsters like him belong. Why should I be forced to serve his life sentence. When I didn't do anything to deserve it. Well other besides being an MJ fan. Something I still sometimes wish I never became one. Even though I been one ever since the early to mid 80s.


Right now just relaxing in my bed. Drinking some green ice tea. As I listen to the newer you tube creepy pasta stories. While I download some more stuff for my Sims 4 game. And then I am going back to work on my Sims 4 gypsy witch's caravan lot.
 
starting to consider the fact that angels are in human form on this planet...:scratch::unsure::wtf2:

...I'm not joking you guys, i'm dead serious.
 
Just finished listening to “The Don Cherry’s Grapevine” podcast.
 
Watching “Spongebob” on Watchcartoononline and Creamheroes YouTube videos about 7 cats.
 
Just relaxing in my bed working on working on my matching wall, floor, and foundation set for my Sims 4 game. As I watch a rerun of the 6:30 pm ABC World news. And listen to creepy pasta stories at 2:19 am. I have gotten so used to having insomnia for over 10 years. That I have since totally forgotten what it is like to have a good night's worth of sleep.
 
Shaking my head in disbelief about this conversation I just had on Twitter:

Person accusing MJ: “What evidence do you need exactly for a pedo case?”

Me: “Anything that proves he did something illegal with those kids. Because that’s what you claim, right? Prove it then.”

Person accusing MJ: “Well Jesus, if we applied that logic to all pedophiles, child abuse conviction rate would be at zero.”

:doh:
 
ScreenOrigami;4275930 said:
Shaking my head in disbelief about this conversation I just had on Twitter:

Person accusing MJ: “What evidence do you need exactly for a pedo case?”

Me: “Anything that proves he did something illegal with those kids. Because that’s what you claim, right? Prove it then.”

Person accusing MJ: “Well Jesus, if we applied that logic to all pedophiles, child abuse conviction rate would be at zero.”

:doh:
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This kind of people don't deserve our time! So, to this person is okay to accuse innocents without any proof?
 
DifferentKindOfLady;4275949 said:
This kind of people don't deserve our time! So, to this person is okay to accuse innocents without any proof?
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I don’t think that’s what he really believes in. He just painted himself into a corner with his argument. People say the weirdest stuff to not have to admit they’re wrong. :doh:
 
Listening to “The Loud Casa Talks” podcast.
 
Preparing to go to bed and thinking that back on June 25, MTV Portugal and VH1 didn't said ANYTHING about the 10 anniversary of Michael's passing. To them it was a normal day. Just to think that in 2010, 2011 and so on they talked about it but this year, just silence. Sad, really really sad.
 
Just thinking how I am lying in my bed. Sadly thinking about Michael myself. As I know I am going to spend another sleepless night up. It is 1 am here. After well over 10 years my insomnia is something I am very used to. I have since long forgotten what it is like to have a good night's worth of sleep. So I am just going to download stuff for my Sims 4 game. As I listen to some creepy pasta stories. And watch some of my favorite you tube channels. Then work on my matching exterior wall, floor, and foundation sets for my Sims 4 game. As I wait for my Sims 4 game to load up.
 
Posted my latest work. A Christmas project at both deviantArt, Pixiv, Fur Affinity and Instagram.
 
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