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What is MICHAEL's Funniest Quote ?????

lucilla said:
this is not funny but always makes me smile, the man was a genius.


Ebony 1982

ebony: Any black ladies in your life?

Michael: "sure, but you wouldn't take me seriously."

ebony: Try me.

Michael: "it's diana ross. I love her."

ebony: Do you mean as a "big sister?"

michael: "no, that's not what i mean. See, i told you that you wouldn't take me seriously."

ebony: You're not saying you'd like to marry diana ross, are you?

Michael: "oh yeah, i'm saying that."

ebony: But she's so much older than you. You mean you feel something other than close friendship for her?

Michael: "uh huh. And what does age have to do with it? Look at it this way: how old would you be if you didn't even know how old you are?"
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genius.
 
analogue said:
Interviewer - How much plastic sugery have you had?
Michael - Not that much but am thinking (points to his forehead) about putting a third eye here
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claudiadoina said:
In court case with Marcel Avram where he said he wanted to "create magic"....

Lawyer: What do you mean....magic?
MJ: You know....abra ca dabra!
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I think we need another thread called "Michael Jackson smartass quotes" :lol:
 
From Mexico deposition


L: “What were the circumstances in which you started making exhibit 489?”
MJ: “Well, just a tape recorder there and making sounds like *beat boxing* *starts singing* every night she walks right in my dreams…”
Prosecutor: “Objection! Objection!”
MJ: *continues to sing* “Says I met her from the start…”
P: “I have an objection. I have an objection.”
MJ: *Fades out staarrt* *Moves hair from face and puts it right back where it was*
MJ: “Well …that’s how I did it.” *smiling*
L: “How…how did you ummmm....…how did you come to um......…you may have told me already but let me.....I don’t think you did. How did you come to get the song...”
MJ: *licking corners of mouth with tongue* :swoon:
L: “…. the music on exhibit 489 in mind?”
MJ: “Like I said before…songs create themselves, it just come out of me. It just come from inside…out. And I think I’m just a source through which it comes and uhhhhh...…You asked me how I created and I started to perform to give you an example of how it’s done, of how I create songs and when I create my music I make these sounds. I wrote a song called ‘Who Is It’…”
P: “Objection!”



OMG :lmao: Michael I LOVE You!!!!!!!!!!:girl_butterfly:

33wtzjo.jpg
 
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My All time Fave:

"I Love To Tour!" -- this quote should be printed on a T-shirt...lol

"It needs a little more booty" *giggles* "Booty..that's funny"

"Dun Ber Ber Ber Lee"
 
I don't know if it was mentioned, but this is my all time favourite: "Look at her TITTIES!" *loooooooooooooooooooool*
 
Above quote... VVV.... Did Michael really say this????

The "You know, abra ca dabra..." Quote was :jumpcrazy
 
Oh yes he did!

Part of the Marc Shaffel (sp) documentary

[YOUTUBE]MvcrIHXr03Q[/YOUTUBE]


:lmao: I couldn't believe my ears while he was saying it, he even does the sign how the girl's brests are bouncing. :wtf:
 
You're welcome! And yeah I had the same :blink: expression when I watch it for the 1st time!

Another funny thing he said in the limo: "Hey, why down there?" :toofunny:

[YOUTUBE]SLRIHaLTUbk[/YOUTUBE]
 
Also from Mexico deposition


-" And you don’t uhh...… do you … include common musical phrases in your songs that you write?
MJ: Common musical phrases…
-Do you know what that is?
MJ: Yeah, but I don’t know if YOU know what that means…"



Judge: "Mr Jackson, just answer the question"
Michael:"I'm just trying to tell her the situation"
Judge: "Just answer the question!"
Michael: "I'm answering the question.."
Judge: "You're not"
Michael:"I'm trying.."
Judge: "You're failing"
Michael: *giggle*

I love him :)
 
claudiadoina said:
From Mexico deposition


33wtzjo.jpg
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Aww that cheeky smile at the end is so adorable :wub:

I'm loving this thread btw, and something that hasn't been posted yet... Michael and Louie, every word he speaks here is funny to me. I don't know if it's intended or not, but Michael you were hilarious :hysterical:





Lmao, interviewer says, "he's gonna spit"(at 0:50) and Michael replies, "Be quiet!"

Then at the end, Michael cosying up to Louie and going, "Are there any questions?" LMFAO!
 
claudiadoina said:
Also from Mexico deposition



Judge: "Mr Jackson, just answer the question"
Michael:"I'm just trying to tell her the situation"
Judge: "Just answer the question!"
Michael: "I'm answering the question.."
Judge: "You're not"
Michael:"I'm trying.."
Judge: "You're failing"
Michael: *giggle*

I love him :)
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That's from The Dangerous Deposition 1994

[YOUTUBE]9drtaUtl8nQ[/YOUTUBE]
 
My all time fave and it should be the same for all girls


"That's because if you come to Neverland, it's a rule, that you're about to get wet." :naughty::naughty::naughty:
 
claudiadoina said:
My all time fave and it should be the same for all girls


"That's because if you come to Neverland, it's a rule, that you're about to get wet." :naughty::naughty::naughty:
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It's the not the mouth it comes out of, it's the mind it goes into lol
 
analogue said:
It's the not the mouth it comes out of, it's the mind it goes into lol
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Of course it is, but Michael's face and tone when he said that sure did help :)


Speaking of their recent trip to a European Football game Michael spoke of his newly discovered love for the sport, "I knew nothing about soccer and I've never been to any sporting event, so it was a great experience for me. I'm a soccer fan now, definitely. I'm addicted. It was so exciting and passionate - the fans were like the people who come to my concerts. They were screaming and shouting and cheering their players on. I loved it. I wanted to jump up and start dancing because I'm used to performing on stage when I hear all that noise. The fans were great, although they seemed pretty surprised to see me. I have no doubt that Fulham will be promoted, they seemed a really good team with a great spirit. I met all the players and they were so kind to me."
When the interviewer, Piers Morgan, informed Michael about a team that was up for sale, the gears in the head of Michael Jackson - business man, began to turn, "I don't know them, but I'd love to get involved with one of the big teams if it was right to do so. How much are they?" He was told the asking price was 6 hundred million. "Dollars or pounds?" He was told it was pounds, and after a long pause he answered, "That's interesting, very interesting. I'll have a think about that. It sounds intriguing. I'm astounded by how much I enjoyed the soccer, that's for sure."
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Civil court case in 2002

They ask Michael questions about where he was and what he did on a particular day 3 years ago. At each question he answers ;” I don't remember” Then a man gets annoyed and asks ; “Do you remember having memeory problems? ”And Michael goes : “ Not that I recall” The court laughs loud. :lol:
 
claudiadoina said:
In court case with Marcel Avram where he said he wanted to "create magic".... Lawyer: What do you mean....magic? MJ: You know....abra ca dabra! :lmao:Michael
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:lmao: does anyone have a link where I could see that?
 
i love how cheeky he can be. would Love to know more of the smartass stuff he has said lol.
 
claudiadoina said:
"I'm a soccer fan now, definitely. I'm addicted. It was so exciting and passionate - the fans were like the people who come to my concerts. They were screaming and shouting and cheering their players on. I loved it. I wanted to jump up and start dancing because I'm used to performing on stage when I hear all that noise".
Click to expand...

that was cute :D
 
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Contrary to what you might expect, Di LEO's is a humble space in a nondescript building. But hanging on those office walls are enough gold and platinum records to make your head spin. And there is also a framed photograph of Frank Dileo and Michael Jackson, from behind, standing at urinals in a public restroom. Above Michael’s head, in Michael’s handwriting, are the words:

“This water sure is cold.” Above Frank’s head, he wrote, “It’s deep too.”
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:):sad:
 
claudiadoina;3466274 said:
Contrary to what you might expect, Di LEO's is a humble space in a nondescript building. But hanging on those office walls are enough gold and platinum records to make your head spin. And there is also a framed photograph of Frank Dileo and Michael Jackson, from behind, standing at urinals in a public restroom. Above Michael’s head, in Michael’s handwriting, are the words:

“This water sure is cold.” Above Frank’s head, he wrote, “It’s deep too.”
Click to expand...
:):sad:
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lol I would LOVE to see that picture. Hey Claudiadoina, where did you get this quote? :)
 
Thanks for the link Claudiadoina. Some of the statements made me sad, especially about the firing and his visit to the trial. People always try to get control of Michael because they could make money off him. I am glad he had a friend like Frank.
 
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